mental health and bisexuality

[Long Duck Dong]

*grins *

yeah,.... mental health.... the state of our minds..... not the best subject to deal with or face.... and its a hidden aspect of any person.....

but what is mental health.....????
well its the same thing as the health of our bodies.... except its our heads...lol

there is one thing that i see a lot in bisexuals, and that is forms of depressions, mainly mild depression....yet most of us are not aware of it...
depression is not that simple to pinpoint or diagnosis..specially in ourselves... depression has more forms than we often think... and depression is not a bisexual exclusive thing either.... animals and people can get it...

bisexuals can be prone to mild depression, as we deal with mind and mood swings, and the changes between hetero / partly gay to mainly gay / partly hetero and all the areas in between

what we generally call our * bad days * can be a form of mild depresssion, but that doesn't mean we need a heap of pretty pills and tablets that would choke a horse.......it simply means, we are reacting normally to changes that affect us

that * down * feeling that lasts a couple of day, the tiredness, a struggle to concentrate, a lil more emotional than normal, loss of sexual desire and a struggle with sexual performance, can be signs of mild depression.....tho depression can have a few more severe symptoms as well, but they are generally connected to more severe forms of depression

a health brain needs exercise, so they tell us
can you imagine taking your brain for a run around the block..... or saying to somebody " hell, I bench pressed 1000 pounds with my cerebellum "... lol
now unlike physical exercise, and pulling a ham string or throwing ya back out... its harder to exercise your brain and tell if you * pulled * a brain cell connection or * threw out ya motor neuro connections *
and so we need mental exercises like memory tests, and brain teaser puzzles....and we need to rely on the same brain to tell us if that brain is not responding the way it should..... and thats why we struggle to see mild depression in ourselves ......

it is estimated that 1 in 3 people will or do suffer the effects of mild depression.... thats high odds.......but if you consider what we deal with everyday.... its not high at all

the thing is its OK to have mild depression at times.... its not a sign of weakness, instability, insanity.......the pressure on us to be constantly smiling and positive is like asking everybody to be super model slim, and perfect.... its just not gonna happen

the struggle we face as we try to come to terms with our bisexuality, then living our lives as bisexuals, is a hard one, and all too often, we are given the impression that once we come out, its all good... we get sex, and smile.....but we are not told about the sexuality swings, the sexual urges and the stress of trying to balance two sexual paths in the same body
thats when we can suffer bouts of mild depression....

the first thing to do, is NOT get worked up about having mild depression....the last thing you wanna do is add more stress to yourself.....so you wanna do the reverse and say ok, it looks like i am dealing with mild depression....damm, thats gonna put a few wrinkles in my day... but ok....i need to try not to stress out
you are gonna be like a 6 cylinder car, trying to run on 4.5 cylinders there for a while.... lol....
now you can decide if you wanna get a lil help from a doc or a specialist or go at it alone.....its very possible that once you recognize the signs of mild depression, that you will see a pattern and may well decide that you can do it on ya own, or that you need a lil extra help.... either way its ok

you may also think about telling others that you experience bouts of depression.....now a lil secret is NOT to feel like a person with a weakness..... sure you have depression at times, but you can also tell people about the positive as well
" yeah i suffer from mild depression at times ... but you wanna see me suffer from mild happiness... I grin like a fool for days, for no reason " lol

the most harmful thing to any person dealing with mild depression, is not the depression.... its the people that don't understand that its mild depression, and not psychotic tendencies... you are not gonna grab a knife or a gun... just a squeezy toy or a punching bag.....
many people don't understand the nature of depression and to them, i simply say, its like a broken heart.... it knocks you about.....but its not something that you are able to deal with over night...it just takes a lil time, and a lot of understanding and patience

tho depression in all its forms is classed as a mental health issue.... it DOESN'T make you mentally deranged.... the correct term is mentally ill.... and I dislike even that term cos it makes it sound like your brain has a bad case of the flu and that its terminal
I generally say to people, that they deal with depression, and thats cool, but I admire the aspects of their mental abilities that show thru, and so i don't see them as mentally ill.... but having a brain fart day....

so its ok to have bad days, and its ok to have mild depression and other forms of brain farts.....
its like safe sex, its good to protect your body and their body..... but its also good to protect your own mental state of mind.... and sadly condoms don't work in that way.....so in the same way as saying, know your body... you need to know your mind... and your emotional state of being....

and these are some of my fav sayings

sex is a wonderful thing..... but its best to fuck with bodies and not heads

if happiness is a state of mind..... then with the state of my mind, i'm gonna laugh myself to death

i love being insane.... that way I fit in with the rest of the human race

I am not mentally challenged..... I just lowered my IQ level 100 points to match your IQ

there is no such thing as damage.... just brains made in taiwan

i also get a second opinion... I just ask my multiple personalties

so if you feel you are mildly depressed, or feel/ know that you have some other form of * brain fart *, smile.....it makes you unique....not subhuman.....
and believe it or not.... about 1/3 of the human race is walking in your shoes.... you are not alone * grins *

credit to the nz mental health slogan, which I think applies to all of us
" KNOW ME BEFORE YOU JUDGE ME *

[Azrael]

so if you feel you are mildly depressed, or feel/ know that you have some other form of * brain fart *, smile.....it makes you unique....not subhuman.....
and believe it or not.... about 1/3 of the human race is walking in your shoes.... you are not alone * grins *

Thanks for that, Duck. Bipolar/Asperger's is what they're calling it these days, but I try not to get too hung up on titles. It's turned my life upside down, but I figured out who my real friends were. Being diagnosed with a mental disorder is not the end of the fucking world. It helps to know other people who are mentally interesting, so you can talk to people who have been there. There's no instruction manual for being crazy, you figure it out as you go along. My depression, when it happens is difficult to treat because anti-depressants make me manic as all hell. Point of all this, mind over matter. It's all in your head.

[Long Duck Dong]

no instruction manual ???? dammit.... i lost the one for being *normal* and being bisexual... and now you tell me there is not one for being crazy ?????

sighs.....life is so unfair......

[Azrael]

Well, there is Eye Scream by Henry Rollins but that's a bit much for most :bigrin:

[LoveLion]

I guess the "Long" is in your name for a reason, lol

Happiness and depression are ideas I like to explore because they are things that are constantly affecting me. Iv tried to understand the happiness and how to achieve it, but I find that my ideas about it change with my mind set. When I am feeling up a am very optomistic about happiness and beleive that the mind has complete control over the body and the brain, and happiness is as simple as deciding to change your mind set. When im down, my ideas on it completely change.

I had a project I had to do in philosophy class. We were studying Socrates and Plato and his method of thinking and they way Plato wrote about Socrates. Our assignment was to create a mock Socratic Dialog (a discussion consisting of question>definition>exceptions>expansion of an idea between 2 people) between Socrates and some random Greek. I chose to do happiness. I was a little down at the time I wrote it so its more of my "depressed" theory of happiness more so then my "happy" theory of happiness. I could describe the whole thing to you, but i have the dialog itself saved on my computer so I might as well just paste it here. And in the spirit of Long Dong Duck, create a very long post :bigrin:

Socratic Dialog – Socrates and Gyro discussing how to obtain happiness

GYRO: Socrates, how does one obtain true happiness?

SOCRATES: Such a heavy question worded so lightly. Let us explore this, my good Gyro. I ask you, where does true happiness come from? What causes true happiness?

GYRO: Well, if I have to answer off the top of my head, I would say happiness comes from obtaining success, love, wealth, knowledge, wisdom and the respect of your fellow men.

SOCRATES: An interesting answer, but not a true one I believe. Lets us examine a man who has these things. A King who is loved by his people, is rich and powerful, would he necessarily feel truly happy? Would his status automatically bring him true happiness? Or look at me. People say that I have knowledge and wisdom, although I have none more then any other man, yet I would lie if I said I have obtained true happiness. Even you yourself Gyro, has riches, power and respect, yet you come and ask me how to obtain true happiness. And could not a poor man be happy living out his simple life, enjoying the things that make him happy?

GYRO: Yes, you speak true Socrates.

SOCRATES: So then, what is it that sets apart a poor man who has found true happiness and a wealthy man who has not?

GYRO: It would have to be the way the men look at their lives.

SOCRATES: So then, happiness does not come from the status of a man or outside factors, but rather happiness is internal?

GYRO: Yes

SOCRATES: So, let us say there were two men of equal status who had lived nearly identical lives. A tragic event befalls the two men. The tragedy sends one man into a state of depression and sorrow which he does not escape, while the other man moves on from the tragic event and lives in happiness. Why does the second man feel happy while the other feels only sorrow?

GYRO: The happy man has the ability to move on from the tragedy, accept it, and find happiness despite it.

SOCRATES: So then happiness is not external and happiness is not really how one views his life, but is rather the ability to change one’s mindset at will, consciously or subconsciously.

GYRO: yes, I would agree with that.
SOCRATES: And the sad man lacks this ability to change his mind set.

GYRO: Indeed

SOCRATES: If all happy men simply have this natural ability to change their mind set, and all sad men simply lack this trait, then would that not mean that all happy men are simply fated to be happy, and all sad men are doomed to sorrow?

GYRO: Certainly it cannot be so.

SOCRATES: Indeed it cannot, but would the sad man’s lack of this ability mean that he has no way of ever obtaining true happiness?

GYRO: Well, maybe it is not a natural, god given ability. Perhaps it is an ability that is obtained. Maybe one day something will happen to the sad man that gives him this ability to feel happy.

SOCRATES: But Gyro, you said that happiness has nothing to do with outside influences.

GYRO: You have trapped me Socrates. I clearly don’t know how to obtain true happiness, will you not just tell me?

SOCRATES: Think back to what you said earlier. You said that happiness is the ability to change ones mind set and move on from tragedy, to accept it and find happiness despite it. It is clear that happiness could not exist without sorrow and sorrow could not exist without happiness. If not, there would be no reference point to tell if anyone was sad or happy. Which, however, is the true reference point?

GYRO: I don’t understand what you are saying

SOCRATES: Let us say there was a man who was feeling happy. He came home one day and decided he never wanted his feeling of happiness to leave him, so he never left his home after that point, and he never spoke to another human being. Everyday he just sat in his home alone. After a year had passed what do you think this man would be feeling?

GYRO: He would no doubt feel bored, lonely and depressed. He would need human interaction and contact to reinforce his original feeling of happiness.

SOCRATES: Exactly. So we see from this man that if we remove all outside influences that the man naturally sinks into sorrow. So sorrow is the base of internal human emotion. If no factors touch a human, they will not feel happy or angry or excited. They will feel sorrow. While sorrow is the base of internal emotion, happiness can only be an external emotion. To obtain happiness one must find and take in external factors.

GYRO: External factors can also make you feel sorrow

SOCRATES: True. External factors can make you feel happiness and sorrow, but an absence of external factors can only make you feel sorrow.

GYRO: But Socrates, we already concluded that things like success, love, wealth, knowledge, wisdom and the respect of your fellow men do not make you happy.

SOCRATES: They do not necessarily make you happy. Yet these things could make some men feel happy as other things could make other men happy. The examples you have given me are the classic examples of the things sad men think will make them happy. They may make a sad man happy, but they also may not. If a man obtains something that makes him happy, however, this thing will not give him a state of permanent happiness. Like the man who stays in his home trying to prolong his state of happiness, this man will also slowly slide back into sorrow. To maintain happiness the man must continuously find things that make him happy. Happiness is distracting yourself with external factors, from the natural internal state of internal sorrow our minds are always sliding towards.

[bigregory]

Very interesting topic.
Im not sure were being bisexual has anything to do with depression but i also can not rule it out.
Yes i get depressed.Yes im bisexual.So how can i judge.
Im pretty sure its not just bi's that get down.
All i know is that when im down im way down, I hate the whole world.
When im up i just hate most of the world.
Lovelion and the Socrates story might be right that we start at the bottom and have to work our way up to get to our happy place.
DAMM i want to find my HAPPY PLACE

[CountryLover]

What a timely topic.

I'm actually involved in a research study on depression with the UT Health Science Center in San Antonio. I mentioned it to the case worker that I found it very odd that one aspect that was NOT addressed in their exhaustive profiling so far - there's no mention at all of orientation and how it affects depression.

[tydwater51]

I think acceptance is the key, though that is an ideal I honestly can't say I've achieved. I've been conflicted for many years about being bisexual and the ambiguity of it all, and this has helped feed a kind of chronic, low-grade depression (along with some bad genes). I think we have a tendency to beat up on ourselves for not being in the "mainstream" (whatever that is), rather than to get angry at an insecure culture that expects us to deny parts of ourselves. Sites like this are a way to get in touch with our true selves and, in the long run, can improve our mental health.

[Chaia]

Sites like this are a way to get in touch with our true selves and, in the long run, can improve our mental health.
I agree!

Thanks, LoveLion, I enjoyed reading your Socrates conversation.

[Azrael]

I think acceptance is the key, though that is an ideal I honestly can't say I've achieved. I've been conflicted for many years about being bisexual and the ambiguity of it all, and this has helped feed a kind of chronic, low-grade depression (along with some bad genes). I think we have a tendency to beat up on ourselves for not being in the "mainstream" (whatever that is), rather than to get angry at an insecure culture that expects us to deny parts of ourselves. Sites like this are a way to get in touch with our true selves and, in the long run, can improve our mental health.
Yeah, I find myself more often than not feeling really akward. Don't really know any gay or bi people save for former lovers :) I alternate between anger at society and at times what can only be described as self loathing. It's ridiculous, though as I'm well aware I'm not the one with the problem. It can get rather maddening at times because my moods and desires fluctuate a lot and I'm never really sure what it is I want or need. This place has been extremely useful for me in that I've found some people I can relate to and share my woes with. My family I think means well but I don't relate to them at all. I go to a tech school with a homophobic student body and that naturally stresses me out a bit. It's not the simple-mindedness that agitates me but the simple fact that I don't in my mind speak up enough about it, and then I feel like shit about myself. Still, onward I press.