Advice Please

[Van Wilder]

Hi, I am new to the forum. Im 20/male/UK and I need some advice.
Since I was 16 ive been a bit of a porn addict, im straight but i have a cock fetish. I can only watch porn if its straight porn with cock in it. I love seeing blowjobs, gangbangs, cumshots..etc basically a load of guys on 1 girl thing. Ive been curious about sucking cock for a few years now but in reality when im out in the day I feel straight and aren't attracted to men in the street.
But when I see men in porn it really really turns me on. Ive been in chat and a lot of these nice people here said I was bi. Sometimes I agree( when watching porn). However I think im straight again after masturbating to porn.
I love women so im deffinately not gay, but I dont really like lesbian porn. It only works for me if theres cock in it.

Im sorry for sounding so weird. I'd just like to see what you all think. Thanks

[Philbert]

thats pretty much how i feel. love porn, but don't stare at guys on the street. i decided a while ago to try it with a guy and see how i felt about it. it was damn fun, and if the right guy comes along then having a bf isn't out of the question, but i still don't go round eye-ing guys up in the street, feel free to message me privatley if you want to chat further

[Van Wilder]

cool.
sometimes i feel like i really want to suck cock but im not sure if i could in real life. when watching porn i think "man i would love to be the woman on the end of that". i also bought a male thong to make watching porn even hotter. but id never wear it in public or anything gay like that.

[Long Duck Dong]

howdy van wilder, and welcome to bisexual.com

ok lets have a look at ya question and your interest in sucking cocks

now you mention a struggle with the idea of sucking cock outside of watching porn... and wishing to be the female ???

ok, for a start, it doesn't make you bisexual... you are merely watching porn, with a cock in it and fantasying... and that hardly makes anybody bisexual....
and you can rule out cross dressing, born in the wrong body etc etc

you can also rule out bisexual, straight or gay.... this has nothing to do with your sexuality

now we narrow it down to what it is and we do that by asking a few simple questions....

1 ) do you desire to be the female sucking cock, or be the female as a guy makes her suck his cock

2 ) do you watch the porn and desire to be the female, or feel like you are feeling what the female would be feeling

3 ) are your relationships with feminine females, or with females that don't make you feel like you have to be all macho

4 ) are your sexual fantasies during masturbation / porn watching, focussed around sex as a female or a male

[Van Wilder]

hi thanks for the reply, oh and btw i dont cross dress or anything like that lol, i just wanted to see what a thong felt like (weird i know).
Anyhow I see a woman sucking cock and the woman is attractive and shaggable, but I masturbate to it thinking that I am the one sucking the cock - not the woman. I am really curious about sucking cock. Cock really turns me on. Im single too.
I think id prefer give head than receive it.

[Long Duck Dong]

grins, ......its called a curiosity fantasy..... the idea of sucking cock is nice and enjoyable, to you....but its just that, a fantasy......

you would be surprised the number of straight guys that fantasy about sucking a cock but would never do it in real life

its a bit like the thong thing.... its a valid question, what does a thong feel like... only one way to know lol... and thats wear one.....

the difference between a straight male fantasying about sucking cock and a bi guy fantasying about sucking cock....is simple.....a bi guy is more likely to go try it

the advantage of fantasies, is that you can't get a STD, its discreet and private...the only mess you can get in, is getting caught, or cumming all over yaself... and a fantasy can take ANY form or desire....using any person or part of a person

now if you acted on the fantasy... as sucking off a guy,... you can be either bisexual... or hetero with a cock fetish... either are ok .......
at this stage, based on your replies, I would be inclined to call you a hetero with a cock fetish fantasy.... and you are joining the other 99% of the human race that call themselves heteros lol

[Van Wilder]

haha thanks for the reply. I'll have to see how things turn out then

[mcliff128]

The best advise I can give you is to find a guy (be discreet) and make sure he's clean, who might be interested in just a blowjob. You'll know if it's just fantasy or that you really are bisexual.

[nnjbicoupleforplay]

you have to explore you bi side and that's ok just let it go and you'll be ok. Your not straight and your not gay , so let whatever you feel let you be your judge for whatever you want to do and you'll be ok. If you need more private advice let us know.


nnjbicoupleforplay

Have you hugged your bifriend today??

:male: :female: :bipride:

[someotherguy]

Before you do anything sexual, try eating a banana. Sometimes the subconscious mind will respond to a potassium deficiency with symbolic fantasies.

[Daviecurious]

Nothing wrong w/being curious, or having fantasies. I too wondered about thongs, tried them, and like them. Not everyday wear for me, but I do wear them on occasion when out of the house, and enjoy it. Also enjoy wearing womens stockings from time to time. Makes me feel good, and hurts no one.
While travelling on my path to discovery, I also was watching porn and the woman was giving a blow job, and I imagined myself as her. As time passed, I became curious enough to try it, and found that (for me, anyway) giving a blow job was a very natural and comfortable act, one that I enjoyed very much. If you want to try it, fine. If not, that's also fine. Sounds to me like you are simply a human being, exploring/experiencing the world around you. Relax, be safe, and have fun. :)

[leizy]

"Before you do anything sexual, try eating a banana. Sometimes the subconscious mind will respond to a potassium deficiency with symbolic fantasies."

Hunh? I thought you were suggesting he suck off the banana, then I thought you were being sarcastic, now I'm not sure. Again - hunh? Potassium deficiencies, subconcious mind, symbolic fantasies? Where you getting this? Junk Science Weekly?

[Van Wilder]

I found this really tempting to get..

http://www.cduniverse.com/productinfo.asp?pid=6664207&style=atoy&cart=453973361

[Nate9]

I used to feel the same way as you, but i'm a lot more comfortable now and i'll eye up who I want :bigrin: I think for me it was just a question of truly accepting myself for who I am. Perhaps it could be something similar for you?

[Van Wilder]

Ive been thinking the last 24 hours and yes it is what you said. Ive been curious now for the last 3-4years and have had a fetish for cock. Im actually coming to terms with myself that I am bisexual and I now know it for sure. and im happy with that.
Theres this really hot male pornstar I like and I thought if I had my chance with him then I would. So there we have it. But I do also love women.
Im really into swingers porn. I like seeing couples let other people f**k heir wifes and stuff.

[DiamondDog]

why not look at gay porn?
I've been looking at it since I was 12.
I remember the first pics of it I saw were pictures of hot men kissing in an outdoor shower. :)

congrats on accepting yourself.
Instead of finding a discrete guy why not make friends with a guy and get to know him and perhaps date him and then have sex with him?

[Nate9]

ooh outdoor shower :bigrin: I have a bit of a thing for doin it in the shower, though sadly i never actually have

[Long Duck Dong]

lol well done van wilder

its normally not until we look at ourselves from a different angle, that we are able to view ourselves better and understand ourselves more lol

and it only took 15 posts :tong: :tong: :tong: :tong:

a big part of being bisexual is self questioning and understanding....often we are aware of what we are, we just need a lil help to see it and thats where the *looking at ourselves from different angles * comes into it lol

btw, lil side note.... a cock fetish doesn't actually exist... a fetish is a non sexual interest, a cock is a sexual thing...i know, i know... I posted it earlier lol :tong: :tong: but its easier to post in a way people understand, than call it by its proper name, a pseudo emotional / mental visual phallic attraction stimuli... lol ....

[DiamondDog]

ooh outdoor shower :bigrin: I have a bit of a thing for doin it in the shower, though sadly i never actually have

yes it was VERY hot.
I wish I still had those pics, or saved them when I saw them. :(

Even to this day showers are a big fantasy place for me since they're so OPEN and there's no way to hide being naked. :)

[FerociousFeline]

You know....I'm beginning to think that we have only begun to see the pendulum swing towards bisexuality as a direct result of heterosexual porn. Het porn puts the focus on an attractive willing female in an environment of men, and I'm starting to wonder about that fine line in our heads between drooling OVER the female, and drooling to BE the female. I wonder, do you suppose this is one of those strange borders like pleasure/pain? Is it an unconcious desire to be merely the center of sexual attention? Or, is there really something to the process of watching enough delicious women "going animal" that incites wishful thinking? LOL could watching all that porn be programming het people into bi-curious people? I know myself that I prefer to see the woman as the center of attention, I've seen bi and gay porn and it didn't have the same effect on me. I think vanity must play some role here, but I'm not sure how or why. A curious question would be if the reverse were true regarding women watching men. This might reveal whether this was a "monkey-see-monkey-do" phenominon OR if this is merely a case where arousal levels of the viewer push the envelope on traditional male thinking and exposed vulnerability issues for men in general.
Curious.

Re: Advice.
Sorry, I drifted there a bit, but, my advice is to forget about the labels.
I saw in the posts there that you had made a decision about your sexuality and that's great. Human beings are a feminine based organism. We are born of females and all things being equal, it's really surprising to me that we aren't a complete matriarchal society. (Then again, maybe we are, and just don't know it lol) If this is true, then the fantasy of being a woman represents more than it appears to. It might represent a desire to be powerful, or sexually attractive, or ......given the usual subordinate nature of women in many het porn films, vulnerable and submissive. The point is, all these nice neat little labels can drive you insane if you are a human being, because, humans are a constantly changing flow of chaotic feelings and emotions. Today you might want to be the gal, but tomorrow you might want to be the guy. Once again my point......don't buy into labels and lock down your spirit and personality, when you don't HAVE to. In my humble opinion, people who are TRUELY bisexual, are beyond the limits of that label. They are...........sexual.
Being "sexual" reflects that your desires are fluid, not locked down. Being "sexual" gives you the power to change your mind......based on how you feel.
In any case, whatever label you choose, make sure to spend more time enjoying yourself and your lovers than you do worrying about what to call your behavior.

FF

[Van Wilder]

Your on to something there. I cannot watch gay porn at all - it just doesnt work for me....and neither does lesbian porn.
But when I see a woman sucking cock I cant help but really want the cock. Jenna Jameson is a good example. I find her so stunning, I love absolutely everything about her - she really gets me going. She makes porn so much better. I can see her sucking and fucking a guy and she will make it look so hot and sexy that I will masturbate thinking im her in the porn. Whereas if it was a man in gay porn - I wouldnt even get hard.
Kinda why I bought the thong for when I watch porn, I want to feel as sexy as jenna jameson is in the porn and feel naughty...etc