importance of having a bi partner?

[TorontoGuy2007]

just curious to hear feedback regarding the differences (or lack of differences) between being bi and whether or not your relationship partner(s) is also bi.

does it make a difference to have a partner that can totally relate to being bi? or can a straight or gay partner be equally as understanding?

just curious to hear some stories, both good or bad or indifference..

[bigregory]

I cant say about str8 couple acceptance, but im sure a bi or gay spouse would be more open in accepting your sexuality.It must suck to be straight. :flag2:

[innaminka]

My spouse is str8. Very str8! :male:
His acceptence of my bisexuality was not easy - esp as i have made it clear I have and will be an active bisexual. :female: :male: :female:
No we do not have any form of 3some or anything like that.
He has accepted my bisexuality, but his way of coping is not wanting to know anything about my "other" activities.
It works very well for us.

[ambi53mm]

My wife is bi and I would say the importance is relative to the understanding and acceptance of one another's overview of sexuality. I don't believe our feelings for one another would be diminished had our sexual orientations been different because, it's a marriage that runs deeper than these bodies and personalities we express...but by the same token it's a shared area of common ground that enhances our appreciation of each others uniqueness.
It does make for some interesting conversations on occasion though LOL

Ambi :)

[mrplayfuluk]

I have started seeing someone who has had bi experiences in the past but isn't that bi right now. She enjoyed her moments and understands that I want to investigate my bi side. However i don't want to do anything right now to jeopardise what we have. Its liberating to able to tell her I fancy a guy in a dvd we are watching and her saying the same about a woman. I can at least be open in expressing my sexual feelings and it has given our sexual relationship a certain erm... frisson. So to answer your question it is certainly an advantage not to have one's feelings hidden and subjugated for fear of losing a partner. However finding a bi partner isn't easy, I got lucky. :bigrin:

[mannysg]

My wife is straight and I don't really think she understands my bisexual desires. She could never imagine herself having sex with a woman, so it's hard for her to understand how I could enjoy having sex with a man.
I'm not as lucky as others who have a spouse who doesn't mind them having a same-sex partner, but I AM lucky in that she doesn't mind me fantasizing about it. In fact, sometimes she will give me a hand-job while she talks about me sucking a cock or having a guy screw my ass. She is supportive of the fantasy, but not supportive of acting on those fantasies.



I cant say about str8 couple acceptance, but im sure a bi or gay spouse would be more open in accepting your sexuality.It must suck to be straight. :flag2:

I can't agree that it "sucks to be straight" but will agree that bisexuality is more enjoyable.

At the risk of being attacked:

For many years, I was (or at least thought I was) straight. I was quite happy being straight (until I tried sex with a man.) In fact, I was even homo-phoibic for many years. The thought of sucking a cock disgusted me. I made fun of gays and bad-mouthed them. I knew & shared nearly every anti-gay joke. Bisexual men were guys who didn't want to admit to being gay, or they were guys hiding their homosexuality by being married to a woman. My opinion has changed, and I now enjoy sucking, and kinow that bisexuals are NOT gay. (It's a long story on how I discovered that I am bisexual.) I can also say that I openly defend gays when people I'm around bad-mouth them.

[Lorcan]

I had a Straight partner for 7 years once. He didn't really understand, but he could definatly see how someone could be attracted to women, because he was! I think when i went out with women i hurt him more than i realized because i didn't really communicate about that with him.

Now i married to a bi man, and i like that better. Less explaining.

[tommyswing]

In my case I was up front with my spouse when we first began seeing each other. I was seeing a guy when we first met, so that created an opportunity for honesty. She was always comfortable with this aspect of my sexuality, it has never been an issue

[welickit]

We are both bisexual and quite comfortable with it. Both have been married to straight people previously. For us life is really relaxed and enjoyable being together. Most of our close friends are bi, gay or lesbian. We both enjoy recreational sex with friends but don't get together with straight or curious folks of either sex. We also don't get together with cheating spouses of either sex. To us having a bisexual partner is the right thing. It works for us. We have seen lots of couples where only one was bi go to divorce court. Neither of us know of a couple where one is bisexual and the other is aware of it that worked for very long. :2cents:

[someotherguy]

I wouldn't have a romantic relationship with anyone who wasn't bisexual. I would have sex, but not get involved emotionally beyond a casual friendship. I want someone I can relate to, who, in turn, understands where I'm coming from. That won't happen with people whose sexual preferences are exclusive to one gender. I realize this probably means I will be single forever, but, that's OK, too. :cool:

[bicuriousjvl]

I think having a bi partner would make things easier. My wife is straight and doesn't understand my interest in guys. She appreciates that a dildo in my ass gives me a rock hard cock and very powerful orgasms. In the midst of sex she very occasionally encourages fantasies about a guy fucking me or the two of us sucking a cock, but that's the extent of it.

If she were attracted to women too, I think she would better understand how powerful of an attraction cock is to me and that being bi can simply be about having MORE fun in bed.

[DiamondDog]

I wouldn't have a romantic relationship with anyone who wasn't bisexual. I would have sex, but not get involved emotionally beyond a casual friendship. I want someone I can relate to, who, in turn, understands where I'm coming from. That won't happen with people whose sexual preferences are exclusive to one gender. I realize this probably means I will be single forever, but, that's OK, too. :cool:

I agree.
I would get into relationships with gay men as I understand them very well and relate to them; but perhaps only if I could ocassionally have permission to have sex with a woman.

[wanderingrichard]

yeh i think it does help.. i got involved with a bi woman about 3 years ago and seeing her openness and freedom with those she carefully screened, helped me come out of my self imposed shell of almost 30 years... i kno from experience that had i been with a former lover, who absolutely freeked when i came out to her, that no one else would have been able to accept or understand what i was going thru except another bi person...but, thats not to say she and i did not and do not have our tiffs and differences..just that i'm glad she was there to help.

[eyeda1]

My wife is straight, and I am bi and we have a very good marrriage with lots of communication, and she doesn't mind at all if I have relationships with other guys or girls for that matter, just as long as she knows. I dreaded the worse when I told her about 4 months ago. But she opened her heart more to me and told me that she is fine with it all and if I wanted to explore it, go for it. That inturn opened the door to the talk of swinging, which we are wanting to try, and will most likely do soon. :2cents:

[Enoll]

My girlfriend is bisexual, wich I only learned afew months into
our relationship, it was never bought up as a bad thing in any way.
When I told her I was, if anything, it made our relationship stronger.

I'd just like to point out that she's the only person I've ever been in a relationship with but I think it's important beacuse she understands alot of what I'm thinking.

[bigirl_inwv]

My fiance is straight but he is totally understanding about my bisexuality. In the beginning, we just had sex, nothing more. I suppose because our relationship was based on sex, it was easy for me to tell him I was bisexual.

Our relationship eventually progressed and now we are very happily engaged. He understands my need for a female touch every now and again, so we started swinging. We only swing with couples where the female is bisexual.

However, I think that he is more curious about the other side of things than he wants to admit. :bigrin: We played with a couple where the man was bi-curious and he let him suck his dick. He looks at gay porn. He agrees when I point out attractive males or females. So, who knows. I can only hope. haha.

I think that if your partner is open and understanding, it doesn't really matter about their sexual orientation.

[LoveLion]

I wouldn't have a romantic relationship with anyone who wasn't bisexual. I would have sex, but not get involved emotionally beyond a casual friendship. I want someone I can relate to, who, in turn, understands where I'm coming from. That won't happen with people whose sexual preferences are exclusive to one gender. I realize this probably means I will be single forever, but, that's OK, too.


Not me. I think its hard enough to find someone that you are compatible with and they you are cutting out a huge percentage of those few people. One of the great things about being bisexual (I find) is that unlike homos and hetros, we arnt already cutting out 50% of the population when looking for someone special. If I love a person, and care about them, and enjoy being with them, I dont care what their orientation is (as long as they are ok with mine).

Also, anyone I ever considered getting involved with romantically, I would tell them Im bi up front before we get involved. That way it wont cause huge complications later on.

[bearisbare]

Also, anyone I ever considered getting involved with romantically, I would tell them Im bi up front before we get involved. That way it wont cause huge complications later on.

That's the way I've wished to live my romantic life for the last several years. About three years ago, a friend of mine and I confided in each other and we learned more and more about each other. She's now my wife. :-)

[Avocado]

Sexuality is just one thing about a person. From my teens all I ever really wanted was to find someone to be loved bi and settle down with, and my straight fiancee is the same. You could ask the same about whether or not a couple are into sports or not, but they maybe have more in common if the one who is can't stand the how-many-games-do-you-go-to brigade, and the one who isn't can sympathise with that. Sometimes, loving and wanting each other can be the only thing a couple needs to have in common, and the most relevant thing to have in common.

[happyjoe68]

I think it certainly helps if both of you are Bi. However, I dont think that just because you are both Bi, the relationship will automatically be easier. For instance, both people may have very different conceptions of what being Bi means and how that is expressed, eg one person meets others of the same gender, whilst the other has no real interest in this and wants to be monogamous. All couples have to work at a relationship regardless of the common ground.

My partner (f) is Bi and it certainly helps to be able to talk to each other without being judged in the way that straight or gay person might judge or react to someone is Bi. Despite this, we are still getting to know each other and understand each other, and we agree on many things, but will undoubtedly have to reach compromises on others - thats part and parcel of life.

[softfruit]

Dating other bis does seem to improve the odds a heck of a lot! Even if only from how much less worry you have about comparing notes on who you both fancy :D

It might not a cast-iron guarantee that the relationships will be easier -- as happyjoe68 suggests -- if one of you tends to monogamy and the other not, to take just one common problem. But it probably makes discussing your respective needs and hopes for a relationship that bit easier. And if you break up they're less likely to blame it on you being a goddamn bisexual :P

[TorontoGuy2007]

just wanted to say thanks to all who have replied to this thread. very imformative stories and great advise.. guess in the end, comfort with one's own sexual orientation and their partner's comfort are just one of many issues that make up a relationship...

[DiamondDog]

My fiance is straight but he is totally understanding about my bisexuality. In the beginning, we just had sex, nothing more. I suppose because our relationship was based on sex, it was easy for me to tell him I was bisexual.

Our relationship eventually progressed and now we are very happily engaged. He understands my need for a female touch every now and again, so we started swinging. We only swing with couples where the female is bisexual.

However, I think that he is more curious about the other side of things than he wants to admit. :bigrin: We played with a couple where the man was bi-curious and he let him suck his dick. He looks at gay porn. He agrees when I point out attractive males or females. So, who knows. I can only hope. haha.

I think that if your partner is open and understanding, it doesn't really matter about their sexual orientation.

Denial is not just a river in Egypt. ;)

He sounds bi but closeted.

If he truely was het and gay sex turned him off, he would not be able to get it up or even want gay sex with another man.

Also, lots of guys don't seem to think that getting fellatio from another man is gay sex, or even sex at all. Or they that they're still het since they didn't take a cock in their mouth or kiss the guy. I'm not saying that he's like that but I'm just going with what the general male het viewpoint is (i.e. that oral sex isn't sex).

[Celtiff2106]

Just my :2cents:, my husband is very straight and he has no promblem with my sexual preferances. I have just been very honest and open with him. And he was very honest with me about his feelings on the subject. If anything it has strengthend our relationship because we know that we can talk about anything.

[DarrynSami]

We are both bi and find it makes our relationship much easier and more comfortable than the straight persons we have had relationships with. Interestingly enough, our children don't know about our sexual preferences, but our teenage daughter came to us a couple months ago to tell us she was bi. She was worried about talking to her family about this, and is very surprised at how accepting of her we are. :)

[TorontoGuy2007]

Hi Darryn

wow, that's quite the story.. makes me wonder if genetics play any role in determining sexual orientation.. congrats and good luck to you all!