Some Stress Problems

[ziggybabie]

3 Questions

I know a lot of the things I'd want to do, if I were independent, are too extreme for my family, whom I am living with, now. Does anyone here know what it's like to feel like you are not really free to explore and be yourself in your living environment?

Also, does anyone here know about how physical health problems can translate into emotional ones? (ie, feel like shit physically, it can carry over and make you miserable or antisocial in general)

Too many stress factors in your life, or the feeling that you're not really doing what you want to be doing (job, school, etc), but are trying to please other people (family, significant other, etc)?

[jo69guy]

I know how you feel. I finally got to relax when I told my family. They took it better than I expected, and things improve day by day. I can't really say telling your loved ones will improve things for you though. I don't know what your family is like.

As far as friends go, I chose the ones that I told carefully. Most have been really supportive, with a few exceptions. I am also VERY closeted at work. Nobody there knows about me. I did tell one former co-worker, but he is working for another company now.

I wish you luck, and know there are many wonderful, supportive people here.... :2cents:

[Long Duck Dong]

i can relate... growing up, my life was a very differcult one....and well... spending hours on end, shut in my room, was ok... I was not allowed freedom as teenagers know it.... I was not allowed in town til i was 15

i had 2 people outside the house that i was allowed to associate with....and my mother took all her frustrations of a abusive marriage out on me

a car accident at 16 meant 1, 1/2 years in hospital, so again the ability to withstand hours of total isolation and mental separation, helped

i have tried christianity..spirituality etc etc all looking for * the truth * but i found only opposition and people that wanted me to kiss ass and say they were right

the day I sat down and created and wrote the * circle t'ao * ( a meditation exercise that flies in the face of 90% of spirituality and meditation ) was the turning point for me..... people sat up and took notice of something that, til that stage, they had tried to deny......and that was not only was I extremely intelligent, but spiritually gifted and very knowledgeable... and suddenly my mother turned against me and started opposing every aspect of my life

over the years i have created, wrote and gave talks about things that has shocked, amused and stunned people....and yet i am still opposed, disliked and have people trying to stop me talking and sharing..... and yeah 95% of the spirituality community wishes i would shut up and die quietly

however the main reason I am not able to express myself freely, is personal choice....I am by choice and desire, a recluse....which seems strange considering I have people around me a lot.... but its actually a fact.....people know about my life... but nothing about me as a person inside and I intend to keep it that way

health problems.... yeah my health affects my emotional and mental state of mind...I broke my face ( 7 places ) my jaw (4 places ) my legs, my right arm, my pelvis, my neck ( 2 bones ) my back ( 3 bones ) and 9 ribs in one car accident... hell i have so much metal and ceramics in me, that i am damm near the original terminator... but its not the body scars that affect me
I have lost the ability to run now...my left knee needs replacing...standing or sitting in a pub is hard cos of my back,....the plates in my face ache to hell and back.. the list goes on... but thats life.....the thing is I survived, when my friends and partner died....and its kinda annoying and kinda not... I lost some awesome people and now i have more awesome people around me....so its balances out..... and if i was dead... then i wouldn't be here sharing my life to help people lol

on the nz stress factor scale... 100 is high... 150 is serious help time and 200 is nervous breakdown time..... my stress level was recorded as 1700... but its only stress to the people that monitor it... to me its normal daily life... that and i choose to have that much stress....cos it shows people that its not make or break stress....i am not mad, or insane.... I just refuse to accept that its dangerous or serious to my health... mainly cos i have lived with the stress for years and how dangerous can it be to my health when my health is shot anyway.... whats the worst that can happen ??? I die ??? * snorts * sooner or later, thats on the list of things to do

so a lil advice.... get annoyed about being restricted, then smile... the restrictions may be the only thing standing between you and a massive fuck up

one mans fun is another mans nightmare..... enjoy them both.... the experience can be fleeting... but its all in the moment and what you don't enjoy today, may be lost tomorrow.... however... each experience, good or bad....has a place with us..and i would much rather suffer somethings and enjoy others, than enjoy only the good things, and get half the experience that life can offer

there can be no future without a past to look back at.....the present is the only chance we get to stand at the crossroads of our lives and take a breather... the past brought us to the crossroads, and the future is the direction in which we take the next step....today is the point at where we stand at the crossroads and say " who pinched the fucking sign post this time " :tong: :tong: :tong: :tong:

[LoveLion]

I know a lot of the things I'd want to do, if I were independent, are too extreme for my family, whom I am living with, now. Does anyone here know what it's like to feel like you are not really free to explore and be yourself in your living environment?


I am absolutely feeling this way right now. I want to came out, get out there and start really exploring myself more than anything. But I wont let myself. There are too many factors right now in my life that would fall to pieces if I did.

My solution? Change my environment. Right now I cant obviously (finishing high school) but I am starting to apply to university and am planning on doing a bit of travelling. For now I have to suffer, but as soon as I get out it will be fun time :bigrin:


As for the questions on stress... Well this is an odd one for me. A few years ago I suffered from major stress. I had just gotten a promotion at my old job and suddenly I was responsible for all my co-workers who happened to be all of my friends. We would always goof off at work, and now suddenly I was supposed to be the one cracking the whip. I was deffinatly as lenient as possible and let more stuff slide then I probably should have, but they all started to resent me, and there was huge drama and arguments going on there. Then at school I had some major problems with my identity and my friends. I also had met a friend on the internet who tried and tired to get a little too close, so that was also freaking me out. And then there was the whole Bisexual feelings thing going on. All of this stuff at comming down on me at once really messed me up for a while, and I fell into a state of depression. I stopped eating and I would skip classes to just go hide out in the Dark Room listening to music. I would cry at night. It was really unhealthy. Anyway, Im not sure what happened, but I after months of feeling like this I finally started to come out of it (Music helped me alot. Especially Snow Patrol, their songs really helped me along). By the same time the next year I was good again. While I was coming out of this funk, I also changed alot. I started to really get in touch with who I was and I started living by my own standards rather then others. I really stopped being a robot at school, and began to think and act for myself.

Ever since that period I have almost been unable to feel stress. Of course I worry a little bit when the school projects are building up, and university applications dead lines are approaching and I am working more and more. But I never get stressed. I always seem to have a clear mind and these things just dont get to me like they used to. I look at people like my brother who COMPLETELY freaks out when ever he gets an essay or anything assigned in school and it ends up possessing his life as he constantly stressing and complaining about it. I just dont understand that anymore.

Whatever went on in my head a few years ago deffinatly was a pain at the time, but Its totally reshaped who I am. I makes me think of Ghandi's Law of Suffering: That everything productive and good must go through the cleansing process of suffering before it can be achieved.

[ziggybabie]

I know how you feel. I finally got to relax when I told my family. They took it better than I expected, and things improve day by day. I can't really say telling your loved ones will improve things for you though. I don't know what your family is like.

As far as friends go, I chose the ones that I told carefully. Most have been really supportive, with a few exceptions. I am also VERY closeted at work. Nobody there knows about me. I did tell one former co-worker, but he is working for another company now.

I wish you luck, and know there are many wonderful, supportive people here.... :2cents:

My parents and brothers already know, and a few others. Of course, given how stupid and careless I've been with my mouth in the past, that may be more than I think that know. Just because my family knows, doesn't mean I'll be dressing any different or bringing the same people over or doing the same things, though.

[TorontoGuy2007]

i can totally relate to the physical health - mental health issue.

my current job sucks and i have a huge commute to get to and from work. i'm waking up extra early and not getting enough sleep.

i am 32 and have been back and forth from work and school and work and school.. still trying to find myself in this world. contracts here and there, crappy job offers here and there, but nothing good. nothing that will allow me to grow and maximize my potential.

physically, i suffer from depression, stress, and anxiety, and have done so for a long time.. i have various other physical diagnosis that are likely caused from stress. ranging from insomnia, to hives.

guess the other part of the question is not a problem for me. i finally moved out on my own a year ago and i am totally free to do as i please.

only sad thing, i am always so exhausted from my long days, that going out and socializing isn't really part of the plans..

2007 is going to be yet another new start for me. yet again, looking for work.

this entire bi-sexual discovery is actually new and exciting for me...