am i?

[joeljar]

Hi,
I am a student and today I started to question my sexuality. I need help figuring out if I am bisexual or not. I have thought about it before but never this realistically. In the past I have admired the idea of bisexuality because I thought about how much variety there is. Sorry to kind of ramble. Anyway, I don't have a problem with bisexuality or homosexuality, I just started to find myself attracted to men today and a little bit in the past but I have kind of shook those thoughts off. Basically, what i am asking for is some help figuring out if I am bisexual and just generally helping me through this process.
thanks
joeljar

[Herbwoman39]

You've definitely come to the right place. I came out to myself almost 2 years ago. Four days before my 38th birthday we were at a theatric production and i found myself drawn to one of the actresses on stage. Half way through I realized that I wanted her...I wanted to BE with her. So I started exploring my sexuality just the way you are now.

I found the Klein Grid and the Kinsey Scale, which really helped me realize that I was most definitely NOT straight. Nor was I gay because I love sex with my husband and I think (among others) Johnny Depp is HOT!

I took some time and seriously analyzed my past and came up with some memories that confirmed what the Klein and Kinsey quizzes had indicated. Now don't let any quiz define you. You have to figure out how to define yourself.

In the past on days when I doubted my sexuality I came up with a little self-quiz that went something like this: "Does Johnny Depp still make me drool? Yes. Good. Do the Pussycat Dolls still make my knees turn to mush? Yes. Good. I'm still Bi." And that's how I managed to keep my sanity when there was a revolving door on my closet :)

Don't be afraid to ask questions. There's always someone here willing to help.

[joeljar]

I'm so glad that I can find somewhere to sort my feelings out. I am just about to look up those scales. Thank you for such a quick and comforting response.
joeljar

[Herbwoman39]

No problem sweetie. That's what I'm here for.

[LoveLion]

Its a super difficult thing to try to figure out. Go ahead and give you self some time to think about it. Explore the site, talk to people about it, read some articles and you'll figure it out. This site helped me out alot and I hope it can for you too.

[rockstarvomit]

I understand just where you're at. When I first started realizing that i might be bi, a lot of my friend were just coming out so I thought it might be some kind of crazy trend I was subconsciously following. I had always been open to homosexuality, but had always assumed that I was straight and not given the subject any more thought.

Later when I ended up wanting to make out with a female friend who had a crush on me :tong: , I realized that seeing all of my friends open up and be honest with me had made me look inside and be honest with myself.

I was a little afraid to accept it for myself because I was afraid that it would change what others thought of me, but after a lot of thinking, I decided that I had to be honest with myself. When I thought about it, I had always had bisexual tendencies but hadn't recognized them as such because I assumed heterosexuality for myself.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is this can be an extremely confusing and frustrating time for you. Others might disagree with me, but even if you haven't acutally had a same-sex experience, you can be bisexual. I still haven't (hopefully that will change soon!! :bigrin:) but I don't doubt myself anymore. I'm just as attracted to some women as I am to some men. And don't dismiss past instances that could have made you question. For me, bisexuality answered a lot of my questions about myself and has made me a happier person.

Hopefully, just putting some serious thought into it (and maybe some *ahem* research ;) ) will make things more clear for you.

Hope I helped!!

[joeljar]

me again
I have been checking the forum frequently and really can not thank all of you enough. Thanks to my research/experimentation, I think that i can safely assume that I am a bisexual. I'm very excited to have these new opportunities in my life. I am now beginning to come to terms with this fact.
thanks everyone
joeljar

[izzfan]

Yeah, from the sound of it you're bisexual. I mean bisexual isn't 50:50... I mean I reckon that I am probably about 60% gay and 40% straight/TV/CD... yet most people (greatly to my annoyance) keep on thinking that I am exclusively gay.... I think not. If u have feelings for both sexes regardless of how weak/strong these feelings are...you're bisexual and don't let anyone tell u otherwise lol. Good luck trying to understand yourself but just remeber that human sexuality is often too complex to be labelled (eg: as 'straight', 'gay', 'bi' etc....).

Good Luck

Izzfan

[LoveLion]

Glad we could help you out Joel! Good luck with all your... well everything!