I bet this has never been asked here before!!!

[nprmatthew]

Okay so to all you good people out there, let me begin by saying thanks in advance for your advice...here is the question..."I think I might be bi, how can I tell." This might be a little long but I am stoked that I found this place...

So here is my situation. I think I might be bi. Here's why. I was married for 4 years but I would always think about dick. In fact before I got married I fooled around with a dude. And I banged plenty of chicks. I love the way vagina tastes, looks, feels. Awesome they are.

But when I was married I would sneek off and look at gay porn. I felt bad about this and since my marriage was going south, I decided to tell the wife. We got divorced.

So I thought I could settle this by coming out and saying I was gay. It felt weird to think of myself as gay only. Because the thing is I still like to look at girls in their panties and love tits. I still get hot and off by jerking it to chicks. Watching two girls go at it is freaking amazing. I think we all can agree on that. But still like to look at dick.

As I am sure someone has said this before...I like the emotional/relationship part with a girl but I kind of like the sex with guys but I still like the kitty. I love to cuddle, kiss, smell, look at girls. I can't imagine being emotional with a guy. In fact each time I banged a dude I would always want to leave as quick as I could. I liked the gay sex part but not the cuddling. I wanted to LEAVE QUICK!

Does this mean I am really a gay dude that is just a novice and hasnt found the right gay dude to be with. Or do I like em both and just need to live with a very open chick.

Anybody got any advice. Because I can tell with the brain time I have spent thinking about this for the past 3 months I could have designed a nuclear reactor.

thanks

- matthew

[LoveLion]

I would rule gay out for you my friend. From what you describe you dont seem gay. Most gay people I have talked to or read articles/blogs etc on have usually said that the opposite sex just never really interested them.

The thing about being bi, is that there are very many levels of bisexuality. Its a very loose definition. You cant really think of it as bi meaning you like men and women equally and could be sexually and romantically attracted to both.

You obviously do have some bi-curious feelings and some attraction to both sexes, so yes you could be called bi. But it really comes down to how you label yourself. Im sure there are thousands of guyts out there in the exact same situation as you who call them selves straight and live a totally straight lifestyle, and thats totally cool for them. Just make sure you dont end up lying to yourself and letting it tear you up form the inside.

Basically the definition of bisexuality is as fluid as all of our sexualities

[citystyleguy]

i hate to tell you but the question is not all that unusual; you have some very real feelings as to your sexual orientation. you are simply someone highly aware of your sexuality, and that is simply what you are, sexual.

your innate tastes are toward polyamorus. you are, if any label really works, bi-lite. you are heavily oriented to the female sex for all types of support, i.e. emotional, mental, and most certainly sexual; your attraction to men is for the convience and ease of masculine sex and the resulting sexual high, but nothing more. nothing wrong with it as so long as you are up front and truthful to your partners.

good luck!

[ambi53mm]

I think your post pretty much answers the question for you. It may not be that obvious to you now but as you explore the various aspects of bisexuality you’ll see that you are not alone. You are in fact, in good company of like-minded people that have in one way or another defined themselves as Bisexual. As mentioned bisexuality is very fluid and there are as many labels for bisexuality it seems, as there are varying degrees of bisexuality. Somewhere along the line it all begins to make sense and with that hopefully, some peace of mind. Finding an “open chick” may prove to be a little more challenging LOL but they are out there as well. I’m fortunate in that my wife is also bi and that makes for at least a little more insight into those needs for “ being understood” easier for both of us. Good luck in your quest, and in regard to finding your sexuality Welcome home.

Ambi :)

[qchamp]

To tell you the truth. You just seem addicted to sex. The reason I say this is just because of how you chose your words.

As for how you lable yourself. DONT! You should never lable anyone, anything.


My :2cents:

Tim

[jo69guy]

You sound a lot like me. I would say you are Bi, and definately not gay. I myself am living with a gay male now, but still would like to have interaction with a woman as well. Maybe one day I will again......

[photogr]

As I am sure someone has said this before...I like the emotional/relationship part with a girl but I kind of like the sex with guys but I still like the kitty. I love to cuddle, kiss, smell, look at girls. I can't imagine being emotional with a guy.
- matthew

I'm sure someone has but I don't think on here. I sometimes think it's a bit 'gay' here and a bit one sided towards same sex but there again where else can you meet with people who have a similar liking for some kind of same sex experience. I'm with you, I love the girls. As you have said the fragrance, the shape/form, the touch, the kitty etc. With the risk being booted off ' sex with the opposite sex is pretty dam good'! Thank you and goodnight. ;)

[nprmatthew]

Thanks for your answers, they have been very insightful.

I guess the thing that bothers me most is the labels part of it. Sometimes I think it would be easier to just be able to put a label on it be done with it.

- matthew

[tommyswing]

You remind me of what I was going through many years ago. I remember the confusion of being very interested in women but also being very attracted to a nice cock. I also though I must be gay except I continued to be very attracted to women. I was worried that in time I would go over to the other side. The core problem I had was black and white thinking; my thought process was it must be one or the other. To try to comprehend I may like both made my brain freeze. I do know now it is possible to like both, they fulfill different parts of me.

I find the guys who need to leave after sex have what some would call internalized homophobia. Most times it's a very strong feeling of shame or disgust; the binge and purge cycle can be behind this. Negative self-talk generates these messages about that our sexuality. I always have to watch for the negative self-downing messages: as I have gotten rid of them I have an increased level of comfort.

[wanderingrichard]

dont try to label yourself, it's not right..accept the fact that you are who you are and that your bisexuality is part of that whole being...

as for hittin it and quittin it, i kno of lots of men who want nothing else in their adventures but just that.. find me, fuck me, go away.. they dont want kissed, cuddled or anything else.. thats pretty common really..

also, you may want to explore a bdsm site, cause some of what you describe has undertones of dominance in it..again, nothing wrong with that , but you might want to take a look into that side of things as well... :2cents:

[meta23]

Let's see...

You like gay porn, you like straight porn.
You've had sex with men, you've had sex with women.
You enjoy sex with men, you enjoy sex with women.

Hmm, I think you might just be bisexual, huh?

Oh, sure, you don't like cuddling guys. But so what? There are lots of straight guys who don't like cuddling women.

I'm really not seeing any evidence that you're anything other than bi. The only question is whether you want to apply the label to yourself.

[MrFahrenheit]

I'd defenitely say you are in fact bisexual. As been stated above, I think the cuddling problem might just be internalized homophobia. Being a 3 on the kinsey scale it's hard for me to imagine what that must be like. But maybe it's just how it is for some people, I don't know. You probably know best.

As long as you let your male partners know how you feel before the sex, it shouldn't be a problem though. Some are looking for a good fuck, others are looking for intimacy. Talking about your desires beforehand avoids confrontation/hurt feelings.

However, if I were to have sex with you, either you or me would stop before it even begins. I'm very much into foreplay, so lots of cuddling and kissing for me. I think it might be the same for other men.

If they go all the way with you without even having kissed; they're probably fine with you leaving right after too.