Harold & Maude

[mike9753]

Hi Folks:
Did anyione ever see the cult classic, "Harold and Maude" (with Ruth Gordon and Bud Cort)? For those of you who don't know, it is about a 79 yr old woman whose attitude about life rescues Bruce's character - an 18 yr old spoiled rich kid - from an obsessive infatuation with suicide. He thinks he is falling in love with her and they do have a brief sex scene - but she helps him to realize it's not about sex. I have not seen it in years, but it made an impression on me.

Now you are going to say, "What does this have to do with bisexuality?"

Well I'm getting to that. Hold on. The connection and the question is as follows:
Ruth's and Bud's character developed a short but intense relationship. As I recall, it was about as intense as it could be - and resulted in a 79 yr old woman and an 18 yr old boy having sex. Sound wierd? See the movie.

I think it helped me to realize the difference between love and sex. Bud's character was confused about it, but Ruth's character was not. I think we sometimes confuse bisexual urges with love, caring and intimacy in the same way. So what do you think? (we'll see if I have a point or not if this thread dies with no respoinses).

If anyone remembers the movie, what do you think? If you can get a copy of it and see it, it's worthwhile. (I saw it in 1971) Then let me know what you think.
Mike

[Bi-ten]

Hi Mike,

Forgive me if I'm off base, but I haven't seen the movie.

I like a lot about the concept in the movie, for example the fact that a youthful person could see past the obviously advanced age of his love object. He could see past the limitations of her body and into the beauty of her spirit... and join with her in the ultimate union (pretty sappy eh?).

Similarly, it is possible that we (bisexuals) are able to look past the boundaries of gender into the souls of our potential lovers...whether they be male or female. Maybe we are able to find in them an attractiveness that goes beyond the physical realm, and because we are open minded, are able to please and be pleased by them in a sexual way.

Whats more interesting is to take this thought to its logical conclusion, that bisexuality is the ultimate destination of human sexual enlightenment, clinging to one sexual preference is merely one step along the way. When we are free of the bias of chosing one sex or another based on physical attributes alone...the mind is open, the body is willing, and the heart is free to love all beings equally.


How's that for a mountain out of a molehill lol ;)

Bi-ten

[mike9753]

Hi Bi-ten:

I agree with much, if not all of what you said. I have concerns about bisexual people being thought of as promiscuious. In other words, the world out there - OTBP (means Other Than Bisexual People) look upon Bisexual people as being driven by their libidos - not by their acceptance of people unrelated to gender as potential intimate friends.

Let me say it another way - I am married, I realize that I am attracted to men and women, but because I am married, in a committed relationship, I would not have sex with a man or a woman other than my wife. For me, and I am not projecting this value onto others, that is what makes me happy, satisfied and sane. If I were to find myself single again by some tragic circumstance, I would be open to new relationships with people of either gender.

If I were in my 20's again, with this awareness, I would be looking at people (not men or women specifically) to be in a relationship with that may develop into an intimate one involving each other sexually.

The movie did not address this. As I remember it, and it's been a long time since I watched it (altho I just ordered the DVD), addressed the issue of a relationship beyond the boundries of age. Bisexuality addresses relationships beyond the boundries of gender.

Mike

[Heartless01]

That is one of my Top 5 Movies of All Time...

Good flick....worth purchase not just rental...

[twosides]

I agree. It is a very purposeful insight into looking beyond what we initially see when we look at relationships. It relates very much to bi-life for me. I didn't come to this identity until several years ago, but when I first saw it, I was managing a theatre that showed the movie for something like 6 or 8 weeks in the late 70's/early 80's. I now know that it influenced me greatly in appreciating attraction for what it is. Regardless of the package that you're attracted to. I loved the zest for life that Ruth Gordon portrayed, and the explorative nature of Bud Cort's character. I can look back over the intervening years and see how I've tried to exhibit those same qualities of life. And I believe that I was able to be more truthful about my own sexuality as a result. Definitley one of my top 5 as well.

[mike9753]

This threat has not seen any activity. Since I started it, how do I end it?
Miek