glantern954
Dec 1, 2006, 8:02 PM
All I will say is that I would show Mario Lopez what bisexuality is any time. :tongue:
Title: Bisexual Burritos
Author: Colin Dugdale
Published: Thursday, November 30, 2006
Source: IDSNEWS
Sex and meat metaphors.
For whatever reason, all of my columns seem to involve these two subjects. They are the essential elements of my writing: the sandwich and juice box of each journalistic sack lunch.
Looking back, it's astounding how many times I've referred to male phalluses as "hickory-smoked bacon," women's hindquarters as "yum-yum tenderloins" and the act of sexual intercourse itself as "crunching the dirty tacos of desire."
Some say I'm sexually frustrated.
However, considering my recent sexual proclivity, I sincerely doubt it. A recent study conducted by The New York Times, in fact, concluded that there's a 68.7 percent chance that I'm a dirty whore.
And if you round up, the number speaks for itself.
(WARNING -- Grandma, the aforementioned joke might have caused irregular heart murmurs. Take your blood pressure medication, and call that number I wrote on the fridge.)
Actually, the truth is: I'm all talk. The last person to enter my bed, in fact, was a man by the name of "stats homework" and trust me ... he wasn't very good.
I fell asleep while doing him.
Hence, my nymphomania is exercised solely in the bedroom of journalism, which is why I will utilize such scandalous meat metaphors yet again to discuss another prevalent, sexual issue: male bisexuality.
"What's bisexuality?" asks "Dancing With The Stars" runner-up Mario Lopez. "Honestly, I have little to no idea."
Well, Mario, allow me to explain in restaurant terminology. If sexuality were a Don Pablo's, where only crotch burritos are served, bisexuals would get theirs with both meat and vegetables. However, unlike food omnivores, sexual omnivores are viewed as abnormal.
In fact, of all versions of diverse sexuality, bisexuality seems to be one of the hardest to accept. Even the notion of homosexuality seems more universally embraced. Why?
Rest of article at:
Link: http://www.idsnews.com/news/story.php?id=39585&adid=opinion
Title: Bisexual Burritos
Author: Colin Dugdale
Published: Thursday, November 30, 2006
Source: IDSNEWS
Sex and meat metaphors.
For whatever reason, all of my columns seem to involve these two subjects. They are the essential elements of my writing: the sandwich and juice box of each journalistic sack lunch.
Looking back, it's astounding how many times I've referred to male phalluses as "hickory-smoked bacon," women's hindquarters as "yum-yum tenderloins" and the act of sexual intercourse itself as "crunching the dirty tacos of desire."
Some say I'm sexually frustrated.
However, considering my recent sexual proclivity, I sincerely doubt it. A recent study conducted by The New York Times, in fact, concluded that there's a 68.7 percent chance that I'm a dirty whore.
And if you round up, the number speaks for itself.
(WARNING -- Grandma, the aforementioned joke might have caused irregular heart murmurs. Take your blood pressure medication, and call that number I wrote on the fridge.)
Actually, the truth is: I'm all talk. The last person to enter my bed, in fact, was a man by the name of "stats homework" and trust me ... he wasn't very good.
I fell asleep while doing him.
Hence, my nymphomania is exercised solely in the bedroom of journalism, which is why I will utilize such scandalous meat metaphors yet again to discuss another prevalent, sexual issue: male bisexuality.
"What's bisexuality?" asks "Dancing With The Stars" runner-up Mario Lopez. "Honestly, I have little to no idea."
Well, Mario, allow me to explain in restaurant terminology. If sexuality were a Don Pablo's, where only crotch burritos are served, bisexuals would get theirs with both meat and vegetables. However, unlike food omnivores, sexual omnivores are viewed as abnormal.
In fact, of all versions of diverse sexuality, bisexuality seems to be one of the hardest to accept. Even the notion of homosexuality seems more universally embraced. Why?
Rest of article at:
Link: http://www.idsnews.com/news/story.php?id=39585&adid=opinion