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View Full Version : Not what I was expecting! - Am I bi or curious?



siraussietosser
Nov 27, 2006, 2:54 AM
I have been umming and ahing about starting this tread, because Im not sure what I am accually saying.
I just have a heap of crap zooming through my mind and if I don't get it all written down, Im sure I am going to go mad.
So I will start from the beginning and go from there.

When I was 10 - 13 my neighbour and I (he was the same age) use to get together quite alot and jack off, blow each other, and even tried anal a few times. During this time I even had a few jack offs with a couple of other boys and my cousin. I really liked it, and even now the idea gets me hard.

So anyhow once we turned 14, girls became the main target so our little boy games stopped, and for 5 yrs I was fine never giving it another though, until I was about 19 - 20, and I started to get the urge to relive old days. So I begain masturbating on cam, and chatting, and for a few years the internet was my relief for such urges.

Then one day the urge was so strong that I accually texted my old neighbour and still good friend, and asked if he ever though about our old games, but alas he was quite adimit that this would never happen. Which really felt like a kick in the guts for sometime, as this was a major masturbation fantasy for me.

Up until this time I considered myself str8, and up until that day I was so surprised at how much I really wanted to play with a guys penis that I accepted that I may be bi.

So since then I have joined bisexual.com, chatted with other bi guys and women, and been quiet content. Until one day I spoke to a bi guy and we talked about what we liked (sexually). Now I really put my foot down when it comes to sexual activities with men, anything goes with women, but with men, I will do almost anything with a penis, and anus, but nothing above the belt, ie. hugging, rubbing, and NO KISSING, anything above the belt I consider disgusting, and not for me, I cant even watch it. But I understand other guys do it and thats ok for them, but not for me. So after I told the bi guy this he told me that I was not bi at all because I do not like non sexual contact, and detest kissing.

So what am I???? Am I str8 am I bi or Bi curious????
Up until last month I have had no contact with another guy since my teens, so while in a city on holidays I came across a clubx movie theatre, so I though why not, I feel like jacking off and have never seen a sex theatre before, so I went in.

I was sooo suprised at what I saw, for the time of day there were mostly older men, 60's +, and the lights were pretty dim so you could not see much.
I sat down and watch the (str8) movie for about ten minutes and got up and went to go in to the other room as there were two movies playing. As I was leaving I could see many guys were jacking off, which well you expect to see, but what I did not expect to see were guys jacking each other, as this was a str8 theatre.

For about 3 hrs I watched men come and go. Younger guys started coming in and business men on their lunch break. I was so excited to see other guys hard cocks in person, that I had to whip mine out and go for it.
After a few minutes I knew I was getting close, and really wanted to blow. An asian 50 + man sat down next to me, and before I knew it he had his hand on my leg and then on my cock, at this stage I was really up for it so I put my hand down and started playing with his soft cock. This went on for a few minutes, and then another 50+ man sat on the other side of me, and also started rubbing my cock, so I also took his cock in my hand. So there I was getting jacked by these two guys and pulling both their soft cocks as the same time. But this was too much for me and I blew in seconds. One guy handed me some paper towel to clean up while, the other, when he found out I had come, started rubbing my back and chest trying to grab at my pecs. This did not go down well with me, and as quick as I could I jumped up and flew out of the cinema room, pants around my ankles and cock out, trying my best not to get my cum all over my clothes, and trying even harder not to vomit.

The feeling of the guy rubbing my chest and back made me ill, and even now I feel uncomfortable about typing it. So after years of wanting to experience man to man contact again it was not what I was expecting.

I went back to the hotel, absolutely ill, and angry.

The next day I had calm down abit, and the idea of wanking infront of someone really made me hard, so I made my mind up to give it another try. Only if anything was to happen with another guy he would have to be younger.
So once again inside, I watched the movie, and others wanking, pulling my cock out several times and working up a huge load. I went into the other room at one stage, and I saw a three way going on with 2 old guys and a 40 + guy, the old guys were sucking each other and the younger bloke, and this sight really made me ill. I could not stay in the same room with them.

So I went back to the other room, and starting watching the movie. Then only minutes later I heard an old guy sucking another older guy off, and asking him to fuck him up the arse. I dont know what it was but I can not get that guys voice out of my head, and every time I think about it I shutter and feel very sick. So once they were at it I had to leave. To my relief the other room had settled back down, so I started to watch the movie. I had decided to blow my throbbing cock and leave.

While in the midst of pulling away a young asian guy sat down next to me, he would only be 19 -20, and I had notice him in the other room. So him watching me really turned me on and when I felt him start rubbing my cock I really was please I had stayed to blow. So I went for it and started pulling him.
Now my cock is not huge, six cut, and I never though of myself as a size guy, and the idea of really huge cocks turns me off, but this guy was 2 inches uncut.
And although I blew my load, and thanked him for helping me, I was so disapointed with his cock size I left the theatre feeling ripped off.

So now I am really considering my sexuallity, I really love women and only sexually attracted to men, but have really been turned off with recent events.

I still fantasise about cocks, I really want to feel another cock, either the same size or larger in my hand, but then I hear those old guys in my head and I loose all urges.

What am I? Im so confussed.

Well that's about it, wow, it really did take a bit to get out.
Now after reading it I will understand if people ask, whats the point of this tread and what am I trying to say.

I guess I wrote this not to get replys but to just get alot of crap out of my head and try to make sense of things, so for those who read the whole thing thanks, and if you can make sense of it all and have any comments I would be greatful to read them.

Im sorry if I have angered older men, or men who are not so well hung, but please understand that this was not my intention.

It has helped to write it out, but Im still left wondering, am I bi?

Daniel1395
Nov 27, 2006, 7:59 AM
Hey I would proberly say yes you are bisexual even if you don't like anything above the belt it does not matter and it does not make you any less bisexual, I do not belive that there is a specific way of being bi or what is also known as a true bi we all have different wants, needs, desires, likes, dislikes etc because not all bisexual people are the same.

shanejnz
Nov 27, 2006, 9:08 AM
Heya,

I agree with Daniel completely. Remember there are straight, gay and bi people who have different preferences for exactly what they like or don't like sexually. Some straight people have a toe fetish, some bi people have a bondage fetish, some straight people can't stand anal etc.

For you, you seem to prefer the purely sexual aspect of being with a guy with no emotional input (emotional being defined as loving, caring, blah blah - where that can be defined by hugging, kissing, massage etc). Bisexuality is not necessarily always being emotionally attracted to both sexes - I'm usually not as emotional with a guy as I would be with a girl. But that can also change without you realising! Sexuality is an winding road - always changing direction and always surprising you!

In fact I only use the term Bi for myself because there is no real other term to describe my preference, but basically when you strip away the fluff, bi people are sexually attracted to both guys and girls. How/what sexually attracts you to them doesn't have to be what you define your sexuality as.

:)

The gentle one
Nov 27, 2006, 10:03 AM
I think you are Bi. If you ever found the right guy you might feel more comfortable trying more.
It is the same with a girl. It has to be the right type for you to want to do more.
At least you have an open mind to what is possible and you are willing and able.
Cindy :tongue:

querty
Nov 27, 2006, 10:53 AM
I can relate - all my fantasies are purley physical - nothing emotional - and that's fine for me

binaryman
Nov 27, 2006, 11:23 AM
I will chime in with a thought or two. First: ditto to previous posts. Second; even though a theater can be a place to explore anonomously and can provide a highly sexually-charged atmosphere, it also has a drawback of over/unwanted stimulation and/or attention - all of these aspects are far from your masterbation fantasies with a buddy. I applaud you for exploring and even taking some wrong turns for yourself at present. Exploring leads to self discovery. We all come to know ourselves over time and yet evolve as we do so. Take the time, no need to rush it; sexuality is part of our life's journey. And don't stop going out on a limb now and then.

twodelta
Nov 27, 2006, 11:46 AM
Personaly, I believe that everyone is Bi to some degree, if only subconscieously. I myself am a hardcore "4" as I am equally attracted both emotionally and sexually to guys and gals. With that being said, I agree with several of the above in that we all have are own tastes, wants and wishes, and taboos. Me personally, I don't enjoy mouth to mouth kissing at all, with either a guy or gal. Couldn't tell You why, that's just me. But I'll hug anyone to death, anywhere, anytime, and for any reason! So, do I believe that You are Bi? Of course You are! Every one is to some degree. The key, I believe to being really happy with who You are is figuring out to what degree You are Bi, accepting that definition of Yourself, and start living Your life accordingly. And as also was previously said, sometimes Your self definition can change and that's fine, just go with the flow. Who knows, someday I might meet a guy or gal that will make me passionate about kissing :eek: Anyway, I hope You enjoy Your journey of self discovery - Dave

robyork69
Nov 27, 2006, 3:56 PM
So, you like women, have sex with them and have fantasies about cocks and enjoy playing with them. That makes you bisexual in my book! Not that labels matter that much. I agree with the above post: most people are bisexual to some degree, it's just that they can't or won't admit it.
I'm not a huge fan of 'above the waist' stuff with men either, though I have kissed men. I do occasionally like nibbling on a man's nipples. I'm not into anal with men, though I love rimming my girfriend and we occasionally have anal sex.
It's cocks that do it for me with men. I could slobber all over a hard cock all night long. I just love playing with them, sucking, licking them and, best of all, watching hot spunk spurt from them. I understand your disappointment at a two-inch cock. Though I'm only six inches myself, there's something quite magical about a big, thick cock, even if it is impossible to get it all down my throat.
I am an older man (49) but don't expect young men to fancy me. I tend to stick to a similar age group, but it's always a bonus if a fit, young man finds me sexually attractive. I'm sure a 49-year-old woman has just the same experience.
So, be happy with your sexuality and enjoy what you like doing most.
Happy sucking!

Avocado
Nov 27, 2006, 6:12 PM
I would say you're bi. You don't like middle aged or old men. I don't either, but how many straight men like 80 year old grannies? You don't like someone using your body as they please without your permission, who does? I don't relate to the size thing, and I also have to fancy the person to be willing to do anything with them. So I can't help you out with the not kissing thing. But then alot of straight women will snog a bloke not just that they wouldn't do anything with genitalia wise, but also don't fancy at all.