annoyed and curious

[bigirl_inwv]

I have been going to chat much more often than I used to. I have met many wonderful people and there are certain people that when I see them in chat it brightens my day. But lets set up a little scenario here....There I am chatting away when a private message pops up. It says: Hi. How are you? I reply: Im wonderful. And yourself? To which I get the response: Horny. I love eating pussy. (Or something to that effect)

This really annoys me. I do not look at this as somewhere to find sex. I have other websites that I use for that if I want it and even then I never approach the topic so rudely. If you want to cyber, that's your business, but not everyone wants to. At least ask the person you are messaging if they are interested or not.

So that is the annoyed part. Now, the curious part....

I come here because I am a young bisexual female with no other bisexual friends. Living in Southern West Virginia, it's hard to find like minded people who are as open about things as I am. I come here because I love having other people who share some of the same views as I do and who I can talk to without feeling awkward. That is MY reason for coming here. I just wonder, how many people come here for support or acceptance and how many come here looking for someone to cyber with?????

[Mrs.F]

I came here because I caught my husband on this site, which is also the same time I found out he was bisexual and had some experiences in the past before me. I joined here as myself to learn, understand and talk to others in MY situation of being straight with a bi spouse. What I found was much more then that and because of this place I have met some wonderful friends. It's a GREAT place! :bigrin:

[anne27]

I have to say I've never been to the chat room here, so I certainly don't come here to cyber. I have found this to be the very best bisexual community site I've ever run across. The people here are accepting and caring and supportive of each other, even if they don't always agree.

I come here to learn, to 'be with' my own kind, and occasionally I can offer insight that just might help someone else out in their time of need.

Oh yeah, and I live in rural Tennessee, so there is NO glbt community presence anywhere near here. Thank the gods for the 'net.

[Dizzy]

I quite agree bigirl_inwv, it's just annoying when something like this happens. A week or so ago I got a pm asking how old I was, I replied 18. how about you; wondering what it was about. I was then informed that 'Oh, you're too young for me. Thanks anyway.' This severely pissed me off. I didn't even ask to get seemingly chatted up, and already I was getting rejected! It's not nice guys/gals, don't do it ;)

Although I must say apart from that this site has been fantastic!

[bigirl_inwv]

I get that alot too because I am only 19. And then I always get the "nice pics!" followed by "are you single?" At this point, I know you have been to my profile because you noticed the sexually provocative pictures I have, now, does it really take that much effort to scroll down and read the other 10 lines of text??

I dunno. I guess I put too much stock in people being respectful these days.

[Avocado]

I definitely don't come to cyber. I come for support, advice, and to be on a board with like minded people. I also come on when I'm bored. I don't so much mind the perves apart from when they try and control you. There was one person who I swapped ads with, added me to her yahoo messenger, then denied me adding her in return. I asked her why and she said it was her nephew but he done the right thing. So I've done wrong for asking a question!

[LoveLion]

Im still new and havent had a chance to check out the chat yet. I definatly am not here for cybering and I doubt I will ever try to meet anyone through this site. If I did it would not be fot a sexual encounter, but rather for friendship or maybe something that could develop into a relationship. There seems to be a number of people here for sexual purposes and thats fine with me, if they ask me then Ill just tell them thats not why im here.

I dont mind the sexual discussions, as i find them very enlightening and open, but I can see how people would get annoyed with messages like that

[FinkDoodle]

I, personally, am not interested in cyber whatsoever and I prefer polite conversation and friendship with the people I meet on here and other online services, even if it's a sexual-themed website. I prefer to make friends and see if there's a connection before I get into any of the fun stuff . .

Silly me - apparently I'm in the minority, especially when it comes to men.

Sorry you ladies have to put up with all that stuff - but we're not all like that, I assure you . .

[12voltman59]

I have been going to chat much more often than I used to. I have met many wonderful people and there are certain people that when I see them in chat it brightens my day. But lets set up a little scenario here....There I am chatting away when a private message pops up. It says: Hi. How are you? I reply: Im wonderful. And yourself? To which I get the response: Horny. I love eating pussy. (Or something to that effect)

This really annoys me. I do not look at this as somewhere to find sex. I have other websites that I use for that if I want it and even then I never approach the topic so rudely. If you want to cyber, that's your business, but not everyone wants to. At least ask the person you are messaging if they are interested or not.

So that is the annoyed part. Now, the curious part....

I come here because I am a young bisexual female with no other bisexual friends. Living in Southern West Virginia, it's hard to find like minded people who are as open about things as I am. I come here because I love having other people who share some of the same views as I do and who I can talk to without feeling awkward. That is MY reason for coming here. I just wonder, how many people come here for support or acceptance and how many come here looking for someone to cyber with?????

Unfortunately Bigirl--there is a certain percentage of those who become members here that only come to the site in order to engage , or attempt to engage, in cyber, phone, cam or real sexual hookups on here.

Generally--most of those who fall in that category never have a profile of any kind and they will come in here for a few weeks at most--then they go away and you never see them again.

If you go to the member pages--you can see how many people are "members" but have not been online here for weeks, months or longer.

I have always said that I wished the site was designed such that if you are amenable to wanting to cyber--you could put up some sort of special icons-- such as a little phone in green for someone who would like phone sex--red phone for no--the same for camming, cyber, or the real deal---I don't know what would signify that---a limp penis for no--an erection for yes perhaps!!!???? (for the men of course--any ideas what would make a good icon for women seeking real sex?)

It can be bothersome when you just want to chat with friends on here and you keep on getting PMed---but a bummer if you do want to cyber and no one PMs you then!!!!!:)

[Herbwoman39]

I don't visit the chat area very often. When I do it's usually out of boredom. I come to this site for a sense of community and belonging. Here in Melbourne, FL there is NO Bi community at all. The closest thing to a support group is over in Orlando. And while that's all well and good, I don't want to jump in the car and drive an hour just to hang with like-minded people.

I don't cyber because I find it tedious and unfulfilling. Fortunately the few times I've been hit up for cyber my reply of "No thanks" was respected.
Although there was that one time when I had to spell out in vivid terms WHY I wouldn't cyber. Sometimes it's easier just to block the annoyance.

And yes, it is highly annoying to just be hit on without the hitter even reading my profile. I have a pretty in-depth profile, too so there are no misunderstandings about who and what I am. If someone's going to try to get in my pants the least they could do is take a minute to read my profile. That generally clears up any questions.

Anyway, done venting now :bigrin:

[12voltman59]

Herbwoman:

From my experience--most of those interested in cybering don't take the time to look at profiles--they just want to cyber--

I do find it interesting on here--many men come here that say they are looking for bisexuals---YEAH-----BISEXUAL WOMEN!!!!

Their meaning of having a bisexual experience is to find a woman to be a third for he and his wife (who may only becoming along with the idea of such threesome begrudingly) because she loves her husband and is trying to maintain their relationship--but truth be told-she really cares not about being with another woman--

Its all about his fantasy--and that is having two women doing it in his bed!!!!

So, it is understandable that you ladies get hit up--especially you younger ones--my God-that would be quite a prize for a guy in his 30s to 40s to get a hot young gal in the bed along with having a menage a trois!!!!!!

[codybear3]

I get that alot too because I am only 19. And then I always get the "nice pics!" followed by "are you single?" At this point, I know you have been to my profile because you noticed the sexually provocative pictures I have, now, does it really take that much effort to scroll down and read the other 10 lines of text??

I dunno. I guess I put too much stock in people being respectful these days.

Bigirl...First of...Yeah, nice pics...You have them up for public viewing...So yes, whether you like it or not, you will get comments on them from people in chat...Now heres the good part...When I don't like something on TV, I change channels...Do the same, more or less...I don't get into chat too much cuz I type too damn slow and if I do go in, which is rarely, I lurk...Why? Cuz I can...Hence, you cannot stop someone from doing an IM to you that annoys you...If memory serves me, there is an "Ignore" option on those IM screens that come up...Use it...Just like in real life, you don't have to interact with what you find annoying...A couple of suggestions, change your profile pics to some that are not too provocative, or change your profile so that you have no pics...Quite frankly, I would leave everything you have on your profile just the way it is and I'd just ignore the cheap "cyber-sex" come-ons and continue chatting with those people you consider your chat-room friends... :2cents: :paw: :paw:

[mannysg]

I guess that I'm not your normal guy.

I don't care for cyber sex. I've tried it a couple of times and don't really care for it. SO it would be the rare situation to get me to cyber.

I didn't come here to "hook up" for sex. I came for friendly converstaion with like-minded people. The only "hooking up" that I'd like to do is to meet someone local to hang out with on occasion that understands that I am not gay when I say that some guy has a nice ass or a fine body. Someone who understands that BOTH genders can be attractive to me.

Threesomes? I've tried the MFF thing, and it's OK, but not for me. I much prefer MMF threesomes. In fact, the MFF scenes in sex videos don't turn me on like they do most men.

And yes, BiGirl, your pictures are nice. You are a pretty lady. And so are many other ladies on here.

[Herbwoman39]

Herbwoman:

From my experience--most of those interested in cybering don't take the time to look at profiles--they just want to cyber--

I do find it interesting on here--many men come here that say they are looking for bisexuals---YEAH-----BISEXUAL WOMEN!!!!

Their meaning of having a bisexual experience is to find a woman to be a third for he and his wife (who may only becoming along with the idea of such threesome begrudingly) because she loves her husband and is trying to maintain their relationship--but truth be told-she really cares not about being with another woman--

Its all about his fantasy--and that is having two women doing it in his bed!!!!

So, it is understandable that you ladies get hit up--especially you younger ones--my God-that would be quite a prize for a guy in his 30s to 40s to get a hot young gal in the bed along with having a menage a trois!!!!!!


Sadly I've found this out the hard way. Even on BiCupid people don't really read my profile. They just jump in with questions that are blatantly obvious in my PROFILE!!

I've gotten hit on more than once by a guy looking for a third for his wife who didn't want to be dominant in bed and was only interested in receiving. So..what? *I* have to do all the work and they're just there for fun? Uhm..No.

[TashaSW]

I like this site cause it helped me understand a lot of things :-)

I have been staying out of chat lately... just gotten sick some people who PM me:
Guy "Hi, how are you?"
me: "fine and yourself?"
Guy: "Horny... wanna cyber?"
Me: "No thank you"
Guy: "Then why are you here??"

seems I get the ones who think you HAVE to cyber on the chat cause thats what the chat is all about. To bad you can't have a feature to block PMs and have some kind of box that you can add friends to so only FRIENDS can PM you.
I have tried to explain to some that the chat isn't for cyber unless your in the cybersex room lol but they don't listen.
I even have in BIG LETTERS on my profile I don't do cyber but they never read profiles.

But I think your gonna get people who want to get in your virtual pants/skirt on ANY site that relates to sexually or dating sites.

To me, Cyber doesn't do ANYTHING.... its fine if your spouse/gf/bf is away on a vacation, business trip or somewhere and you two set up a webcam to have some fun. But a total stranger?? hmmm no thanks.

I still like this site tho cause I have made a lot of friends :-)

Tasha

[citystyleguy]

i always find responses like that to be the verbal equivalent of dick shots; just what makes someone think that would be a turn-on, and yeah, with many apologies for all the dead beat dudes that come to any site and that is all they have to say or show. makes one wonder why any woman puts up with men at all! :rolleyes: and thank the gods that they do!!! :bowdown:

personally, i am not into chatrooms and/or cyber as a rule; but then i live in an area that has an abundance of sources to connect with someone; the biggest irritation is that when it comes to bisexuality, the well is dry! and that is just about everywhere, including the web.

the extent to bisexuality are sites and sources dedicated to the drooling male looking for a bi-female for his wife/girlfriend/arm candy (dont you just love it as to what men think of women??!!) to fill out his fantasy of two women together and/or lusting over him, yeah right. :eek:

that is what brings so many to here; one of the few if maybe the only bi-site that gives everyone top quality access to others of like orientation, outside of the usual "...oh want me to lick your pussy/you can see pictures of my fat stomach rolling over my sausage...", male mentality. yuck! yuck!

whatever, welcome, you will learn of the greatness of the people here, as well as this site!

[IanBorthwick]

As Herbwoman has heard me say a lot, the sites are seemingly TEAMING with the guys wanting a third, etc. I avoid the chats because of past bad experiences with people looking for Cherry when we shared an account. Only now, just recently, is anyone taking ME seriously. It's amazing just how hard it is to be a bisexual male, period. I know it's hard fo all of us, but when looking for someone a guy can hear the crickets chirping in the distance...or if you listen REALLY well, you hear the stampede heading to the bisexual women.

I know that paints a horrid picture, but it is allegorically correct....mostly.

Cherry and I came here looking for like minded people to hook up with as a couple. Now we are looking seperately....<sigh>. We're both Bi-virgins, but she has far more sexual experience than I can ever hope for.

We wanted to hook up to a larger community and get a sense of where we fit in and how, if at all, we belong. Thus far I have to say I am beyond grateful to Green Lantern, Johnny V and Herbwoman. They made an effort to make sure I feel heard. :bigrin:

Thanks, you three. Again and again! Thanks.

[Just_Gem]

When I first started coming here I too had trouble with being PMed without wanting them. Then my hubby showed me how to turn the PMs off in the chat. Now, the 1st thing I do when I go into the chat is hit the settings bar at the top, hit the block PM button and then the apply button and voila no more PMs!

Neither of us come here to cyber, and as Herbwoman has said, all that is on my profile too, as is that I don't do phone. Like several have said tho, those that seem to want to cyber don't bother to even read the profiles, they just seem to "assume" that any female that comes into chat is fair game for cyber, regardless of age (and I'm not one of the young 'uns either LOL)

Just my :2cents:
Gem

[Cdasue]

It's a kinda tricky situation. I understand completely what you are saying bigirl, I think its just one of the little "quirks" of going into the chat room. Everyone is different and we are all here for different reasons, some come to chat in the room and some come to cyber. I find its generally the same offenders each and everytime. Perhaps we just need to develope a thicker skin, a more obnoxious comeback or they do say silence is golden. I prefer the more obnoxious comeback :bigrin: I have seen other people address the offender in the main room and basically call them out, which also works. Volt also had a good suggestion about the icons...but I have to wonder if that would be respected?

[bigirl_inwv]

I chose the obnoxious comeback route yesterday. But afterwards I did kind of feel bad. Im just too nice of a person I suppose. I dont want to block PMs because I don't mind it if someone is really just interested in getting to know me. I fully understand that beyond that there isn't much I can do. This was just my little rant about how annoying it is to me. :)