Lack of Bi support

[LoveLion]

I have just recently come to accept myself as a Bisexual and I must say that there is an extreme lack of support groups, counselling, or information available on or off the web. There is plenty for homosexuality but almost nothing for Bisexuality.

Getting to this point for me was a battle and I would be lying if I said I haven’t spent staying up with the lights on many nights crying, hating myself and yes even considering suicide. I excluded myself from my peers socially for alot of my high school years. It is very hard for a teen to go through this process and even harder to do it alone.

Now that I am older (well 18, a bit older) and have gotten through all that I can look back and see it from a more "mature" perspective. Sites like this help, but you do need to be 18 to sign up (officially anyways) and there is almost no were a bi teen can go to find help through these tough years. I know in my town there was no councillors, no groups I could go talk to and most of the very few websites I have come across have been quite sub-par.

Why is there such a lack of information and support for Bisexuals and Bisexual teens? A bit of help and information or simply talking to someone who had similar feelings/experiences as me would have helped me greatly while I went though the confusion and frustration, and Im sure there are many teens out there going through the same thing. Why?

[bearisbare]

I think that some of the information is there but there may be challenges in how those with the resources get the word out to those who need them outside the larger cities. It's one thing to have the information around, but it seems like another thing for those not even an hour away from a central location to be able to access it. From what I could gather of location, the closest youth resources are through Supporting Our Youth in Toronto (www.soytoronto.org) and Pink Triangle Services in Ottawa. I don't know much about PTS but I do know that SOY has a number of groups that meet, including a bi youth group called Fluid, and they have an email list at yahoogroups that has subscribers from all over the province.

I've been an activist in Toronto's bisexual community for many years and would be happy to check around for reputable email discussion/support groups for bisexual youth if you like. Let me know here or by message if I can help.

[LoveLion]

I checked out the SOY website and the Fluid thing is exactly the type of thing I am looking for. Unfortunately I live 2 hours away form Toronto and cant get to these types of things.

I just wish someone in the smaller communities would set up somthing like that or some one on one counseling or even distribute some panflets or anything to the high schools in the area.

I mean my town has a Witch meeting group, a Ghost tracking group, a Live action roleplaying (dressing up like wizards and elfs, it appears), a gunclub, drinking clubs but no Support groups for bisexual or sexual confused youth.

[DiamondDog]

Have you ever thought about making a queer adult social/discussion group yourself?

Are you near a university? Most colleges/universities have queer centers.

[LoveLion]

The though actually did occur to me through my research, right now however I am planning on moving away in a few months to go to school. Also I only recently even accepted myself as a bi and I dont think I have enough knowledge or experience to run anything like that, and I am also still "In the closet" if you will, so that would be another issue. Maybe once I get to university/collage I will try to find or if nessesarry organize such a group. For now though im just looking for some kind of meeting group or counciling I can take part in, something confidential or at least private to the rest of the community.

[Herbwoman39]

It's difficult to be Bi in a small town. The closest Bi support group is an hour and a half away from me. When I was first coming out 2 years ago I tried everywhere but, like you, found nothing close to home.

It's difficult when you're looking for people who understand what you're going though. I even tried starting my own group. Three months and only one person contacted me. I was beginning to think that either everyone in Brevard county is in the closet or I'm the ONLY Bi person in the county.

I've since found out that I'm not alone. I found other Bi women in my area on BiCupid.com. But you know what really saved my sanity? This place. I was at my wits end when I stumbled across Bisexual.com quite by accident.

People made me feel at home here. I wasn't judged, criticized or told I was confused. I was accepted and welcomed with open arms. These wonderful folks have been here for me as I am there for them...and now for you.

It's not the same as talking to people face to face, but this place is a fabulous support network. Give it a shot while you're getting your feet under you.

[LoveLion]

That is very true. Thank god for this place. I still would like to find some face to face counciling or a meeting group, but this is the next best thing and is helping me a great deal.

[izzfan]

Yeah, I know what you mean about the lack of Bi services especially for youth (I turned 18 about 3 months or so ago).... I mean there are many LGBT groups who are just mainly aimed at gay/lesbian ppl (luckily, the LGBT group that I am with at university is pretty diverse and accepting). As for finding out about bisexuality I mean there are some resources online but most of them seem to be aimed at older bisexuals or are written by older bisexuals (there is nothing wrong with that, but where are the groups for bisexual youth?). I mean it is worse for anything TV/CD related (from what I have read about that online, most TV/CD ppl seem to be 30-50 yr old straight married men who are either in the closet or barely tolerated by their wives... I know I am generalising/ stereotyping here and I apologise for that, but I am trying to make a point about the lack of Bi or TG youth resources or groups).
But look at the gay/lesbian community and there are loads of gay youth groups, loads of gay ppl coming out confidently in their youth. Perhaps it is to do with greater visibility and acceptance of gay/lesbian people and perhaps the bi community could do something to promote awareness of bi issues, in particular - bi youth. I mean growing up as anything other than 100% straight is pretty difficult even in relatively liberal areas. I mean when I was young, I didn't (knowingly) have any LGBT friends (althouhg I realised about being TV/CD when I was 13, I didn't realise that the reason why I wasnt that interested in girls was because I preferred boys until I was 17!... I wont go on about this too much as I'm sure tht I've mentioned it in another post lol) and there was no LGBT support whatsoever and that lead to feelings of isolation, paranoia, alienation etc... and I have to admit that my school/6th form days would have been a hundred times better if I had been able to get the support to 'come out' (although I am now an atheist and I was Anglican until I was 16, I went to a catholic school/6th form... I mean it wasn't ultra-catholic but the religious aspects of it kind of meant that there were harldy any talks about contraceptives [apart from a couple of biology lessons in which they were briefly explained] let alone LGBT issues). This whole thread has made me realise just how isolated I felt back then... I guess that you get used to it and keeping the closet door closed at any cost just becomes second nature. I mean it led to me becoming very victorian and asexual for quite a few years of my life... I am pretty much 'out' at university and it is a very supportive place but I am still in the closet to my family (I'm sure that they would be tolerant, but disappointed if I told them... I have dropped numerous hints to them but I dont kno if they have realised) and most of my friends from back home(apart from one of my best friends, who I came out to after I had finished 6th form college this summer). So yes, there needs to be a lot of work doe to help LGBT youth and to make sure that they don't feel isolated etc... and by 'LGBT', it should mean lesbian, gay AND bisexual + transgender ppl rather than just lesbian/gay ppl.

Anyway, I;ve gone on for a bit.... but basically, there should be a lot more resources for BTGL youth ( I thought I'd turn the acronym around as the last two letters of 'LGBT' are often ignored lol)

Izzfan

[RainbowBright]

a suggestion...

im not sure if you have access to msn or not.. but why dont you.. if you have access.... start a teen bisexual forum on msn... you may not get many hits.. but as they say two heads are better than one.. and everyone bennifits from having someone to share there fears, thoughts and feelings with.. even if there is no one professional they can do it with.

i know for myself..i am not a teen, (34 in fact).. but i felt the same way.. untill i found this site.. and it wasnt easy... i had no one to talk to.. no one that i knew was bi.. at least admitting they were.. so.. i turned to msn.. i already had messenger.. and i found that by searching groups.. under people, and then gay/lesbian.. i found a few groups that could help me out.. they were a real support for my first few months.. hell.. even now.. almost 2 years later.. when i felt that i was being prejedust against.. (dont know if i spelt that right.. lol) there were people there who either went through it.. or would just lend me their ear so i could vent... it realy made it easier for me.. and i didnt feel alone anymore...

for now.. enjoy the site.. we are more than happy to listen to vents, questions, or comments.. we may have some good advice.. things you have never tryed or thought of..

smile.. things will get better.. eventually :tong: :tong:

[RainbowBright]

k... revising a little..

in my last post.. i suggested starting a group on msn or such other group... would like to remind ppl.. (not just necessarly you) that we can often make yourselves anomous(probably spelt that wrong).. no one would have to know who we realy are.. unless we decided that we wanted them to know...

smiles
bright

[Herbwoman39]

I just have to say to you teenagers and 20-somethings who are coming out LGBT at such an early age, I am SO proud or you all!! It takes SO much courage to do what you're doing. Even if you don't realize it right now, by coming out in your early years you are making it easier for the generations that follow to cone out at an early age.

People say that my generation (I turn 40 in January) grew up in a liberated era but believe you me it wasn't as easy to be openly different as it is right now. Sure now there's name-calling and bullying but THEN we were just as likely to be shot or lynched.

Keep upthe good work guys. I am VERY proud of you all.

[LoveLion]

The MSN group is an I idea an I will look into in as soon as I get through my couple weeks of intence school work, new job training and Uni portfolio preperation. BUt what I really wish there was was just someone I could go and talk to face to face.

Dont get me wrong, this place is great and the internet is a wealth of info, but it is just missing somthing that talking face to face with a person has. I really want to come out to my friends and family and Its on my mind more and more each day but I so afraid to and I dont know how. I think I really want to the family member I love and trust the most, but she lives on the other side of the world and I wont see her for at least a few months.

I guess the ideal would be a bi counsoler or a bi meeting group that I just get all these things off my mind to, get advice and practice the whole coming out to. I feel that the fateful day is inevitably getting closer and closer