Lesbians and Biphobia

[righteousbabe]

Hello all!

I just thought I'd throw out the topic of Lesbians and biphobia to the forum. Reading Camden77's experience of going from gay to bi at 27 made me really think of my own situation, as I just came from identifying as lesbian to identifying as queer/bisexual.

What I think is part of the reason I wasn't opened to the bisexual me was because of my relationships with women, and the general attitude that they would never date a bisexual person because a bisexual person might leave them for a man (though I say if you're leaving someone, you're leaving someone, who cares what sex that person is). It kept me identifying as lesbian while in these relationships. After getting out of long term relationships with women, and being alone for a while, I was able to explore the other half of my sexuality, and boy to I feel free and feel like myself again.

I don't know how many other women have experienced this, or if there is that attitude in the gay male community as well. All I know is this is my experience, and what I have seen in my own lesbian community.

Just thought I'd throw it out for discussion and see what others think or have experienced!

RighteousBabe

[twosides]

Right on righteousbabe. :) Actually, I think the same thing is true for those of us who come from all the camps towards bi-identity. When I accepted the possibility and then acted upon the thought of me being attracted to guys, I felt like a burden was lifted from me; something pressuring me for a decision about which way I was going to go.

[softfruit]

Definitely it was easier being out as bi when I lived in the sticks and was something approaching "only gay in the village" type of a situation, than it was when I moved to the big city and found the gay scene. I suppose partly cos on the gay scene I let my guard down thinking these were people who would 'get it'.

It seems to be somewhat worse a peer pressure in the lesbian community than amongst gay men, but that may just be the UK. Indeed, there seems to be more of the "no such thing as a bi" response from the gay men and more "you can't trust bis" from the gay women, which is interesting -- probably a whole Ph.D. thesis in the roots of such nuances out there for someone!

[Shiraz]

Believe it or not, this kind of blinkered prejudice from lesbians even exists online.
AOL UK has a bi chat room but no bi message boards anymore. They were closed down by AOL after complaints from the lesbians as far as I am aware.

I am bi and personally, the lesbians I have met socially have all been very friendly ..but politically and organisationally..definitely not friendly to bi women.