Concerns! [Archive] - Bisexual.com

holybane

Oct 31, 2006, 7:30 PM

dfwbi-cyclist

Oct 31, 2006, 7:44 PM

OH MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL!?!

:tongue:

Just kidding. What's the worry, people are people and are funny about preferences. I for one can be pretty darn picky, but just make sure you are upfront and honest to begin with. You will eventually find someone who thinks you are exactly what they are looking for. Just keep your chin up in the mean time.

It does bother me that people just seem to disappear though. It happens to everyone. Not everybody extends a courtesy of "no thanks".

BTW - how often do you hear that if you had curly hair, you would look like Mikey from OCC. :bigrin:

canuckotter

Oct 31, 2006, 8:24 PM

No worries, you're not at all hard on the eyes. ;) (Also: MAJOR bonus points for the F'ing Metal shirt. RAWK.) You're not a twink, and let's face it, there seems to be a thing on right now for twinks. You and me, we're outta luck there. :rolleyes: Genetics just won't let it happen. On the other hand, there are plenty of people who really aren't into the twink thing, so don't worry about it too much. If you still worry about that, think about it this way... Twinks are only hot when they're young and scrawny and hairless. Manly men like you get hotter with age. You may get a little less action now, but in a couple years you'll be fighting 'em off with a stick. :tong:

Herbwoman39

Oct 31, 2006, 10:56 PM

Yep, I definitely see Bear potential:-) I love the mirror shot with your hair down and your glasses on. My only thought is that in some of your pics you look very intense. That might be a little threatening.

As Cyclist said, people disappear around here. It's happened to me. I've also sent emails to women with profiles up and been blatantly ignored. It happens. You just have to hang in there. :)

miamiuu

Oct 31, 2006, 11:03 PM

If they wanted to be friends with you before they knew what you looked like they probably werent looking for a friend if things changed after showing it. If yall were talking about other stuff some people are attracted some arent. It pretty much happens to everyone. Hell, I've never thought tom cruise was great looking.

twodelta

Oct 31, 2006, 11:30 PM

Hey holybane -I wouldn't be embarrassed to be seen with You in public! I'd say you are an above average looking guy(love Your hair). Like others have pointed out, Cat and I have also had people just dissapear on us. It happens - just one of those things You can't worry about too much. If You ever want to discuss anything, You can always message or e-mail me. I'm here for the long haul. You know, after thinking about it, maybe those other people were Lavoris users :rolleyes: :bigrin: - Dave

codybear3

Nov 1, 2006, 12:44 AM

MY EYES...UGH!!!!...MY EYES.... :bigrin:

Holybane...I had to throw that in there because...Well...I'm warped... :eek:

Saw your profile...Looked at it again...And the only thing I can think of why people would just up and stop talking to you is because the cyber world is full of "on again off again" chatters and then some just disappear all together...I agree with Canuckotter, you are not hard on the eyes at all...And like Herbwoman, I like your hair...don't be bothered over the things you cannot control...Hang tight and enjoy what is working for you... :paw: :paw:

onewhocares

Nov 1, 2006, 4:31 AM

HolyBane......HolyCow

You are an attractive young man. I too echo the sentiments of those before me an say that your profile is to the point, love your hair also. Perhaps, you do need to include a less serious pic or two. In all honesty, I make it a point never to look at peoples photos or profiles. I get to know the person I am chatting with first, and then see what happens. A person's mind is far more interesting than their looks.

Belle

Just_Gem

Nov 1, 2006, 7:12 AM

WOW! All I can say is "If I were about 40 years younger you wouldn't have a chance babe! :smilies15 I especially like pix # 3, that really shows your gorgeous eyes that just drew me back to that pix several times.

I do agree with others tho that maybe a few pixs that aren't so serious could be an advantage. Hubby and I aren't any Barbie and Ken either as our pixs show and we still get a lot of hits, so doubt it is that. Keep trying and when you least expect it that "special someone" will pop up and you'll find that the wait was worth it.

Gem :bibounce:

robinuk

Nov 1, 2006, 8:31 AM

I think you look really cool and interesting :) If people are ignoring you cos you aren't a stereotypical pretty boy then they're boring and shallow and not worth your time anyway :cool:

gina42

Nov 1, 2006, 10:41 AM

12voltman59

Nov 1, 2006, 11:47 AM

You look just fine Holybane--

I find it interesting that when someone starts to PM me in the chat room and I say that I have a few too pounds on my body---the person goes POOF!!!!! :eek: :eek: :eek:

It is something--they don't even want to cyber with someone who does not fit their idea of body perfection--it is kind of a sad commentary on the shallowness of far too many men in such cases and of people in general.

We can thank our society that sets attractiveness for both women and men according to such narrow standards and it is too bad that too many internalize those limited and limiting standards---

I don't get amped about that--if someone is that narrow minded and shallow anyway--I sure as hell don't need them so it is just fine they took off--I say FUCK 'EM and is this regard I don't mean the sexual connotation of the word.

:2cents: :2cents: :2cents:

:bigrin: :bigrin:

IanBorthwick

Nov 1, 2006, 1:22 PM

You have received the general response that I myself have gotten here in the past. It's what I general term the "Too" response. You find you are always "Too <fill in the blank>" for someone. And being male, you will get the lowest number of responses to any advance or ad here. (Too Male)

Perfection and a 10 in looks MIGHT get you further with either sex, but the fact is that you and I are the scraps left over, and oft times left for dead. It's part of my split with CherryBlossom74, you see. She was bombarded by requests when we wanted none, and in the end I decided that at least one of us should have a shot at being an experienced bisexual. I see now, I have NO shot at all. Hell, people like myself might as well have stayed in the closet. The response has been generally one of,"Welcome to the community, be sure to vote for our issues and speak up. But keep your head down, don't expect fair treatment, life can suck in the GLBT community, and you didn't really expect to find acceptance did you???"

So if you need someone to commiserate with, come and cry on my shoulder about the unfair treatment. I've got a tale or two for you when you have a moment.

Oh, and you don't have bad looks...I do. Been told by people we met here I am a 4. So don't feel too bad, there are people here that will melt over your eyes...myself for one. It isn't the quality of the appearance but the quality of the heart and soul inside that is truly attractive, all else is transitory.

holybane

Nov 1, 2006, 1:55 PM

I want to thank you all for your comments left on here, and I'm willing to consider your proposals. When I have more time I may get back to people in more detail and I'd love to talk to a few of you about what you think. Once again thank you so much for responding and helping me to understand a little better!

MissFancyPants25

Nov 1, 2006, 2:01 PM

See Hunny! I TOLD you that you were attractive! I don't know why you didn't believe me, but look at all of these people that agree! I've told you before how beautiful your eyes are. Especially in the sunlight when they get so bright. I love you so much. I love everything about you.

IanBorthwick

Nov 1, 2006, 3:18 PM

By the way, I meant I am a 4 in looks according to what i am told...not sexual prefference. Just wanted to be clear.

texasman6172003

Nov 1, 2006, 8:31 PM

Hey Holy Bane,Ialso think your a handsome guy. ALso like the other's have said if they really wanted to be friends they would have not disappeared. Believe me ive had one disappear on me. So i know where your coming from.

Doggie_Wood

Nov 1, 2006, 10:00 PM

Ugggg! Medicine Breath !! Whheeeewww!! :eek: LOL - just kidding
I actually like Listermint - strong yet minty - but anyway......

Holybane - dude - your not unattractive. And I love your hair. Yes, you are a handsome young man. One serious pic would be OK, but three? Maybe a little intimidating. You also have beautiful eyes. You have a lucky gal there.
I'll be yall's friend, but I don't get out to Cali but every 3-5 years (if I'm lucky).

Just keep on keeping' on dude. Patience is a virtue. True friends sometimes must be cultivated and nurtured to be non-withering.:bigrin:

:doggie:

citystyleguy

Nov 2, 2006, 12:54 AM

Hey big community! I could use your help if you wouldn't mind.

Recently I've been talking to a few people and we've been having really good conversations... until I posted my pictures. After that, well they just stopped talking to me altogether and it's really bugging me. I know from experience and from talking to people that I'm not attractive but I'd like to see what my peers think, so please go to my profile, view my pictures, and give me the damage. I really wanna know if the pictures are causing it, or if it's something else, and I have asked them, they just don't respond.

Thanks everyone!

-Roger

cannot imagine what would be unattractive about you?! but then with such hot/cold types, you are probably better off without them!

all i can hazard is to second guess, so maybe they, for whatever reason, found out you were much younger than expected? or, didnt fit the picture they had in mind (but then people do not always live up to their own expectations either)! maybe long hair scares them off! who the hell know's; but do not let it get under your skin, it is as i said earlier, that you are better off without them!

as i said in another forum, tell them "...piss off..."! and ride off, chin up, into the horizon!

best of luck! :cool: and be cool!

Herbwoman39

Nov 2, 2006, 1:29 AM

Oh, and you don't have bad looks...I do. Been told by people we met here I am a 4.

Sorry to hijack this thread but sweetie I have to say publicly to Ian, Whoever said you were a four was FUCKIN NUTS!! A FOUR?? You're at LEAST a 7!! You're a really good looking guy!!

PLUS you're into the Renaissance! Added bonus! Hubby and I are massive faire junkies. If I was a guy, I'd hit on you for sure!

Okay, back to the regularly scheduled thread already in progress.

Long Duck Dong

Nov 2, 2006, 3:41 AM

mmm.... ok honest opinion time

drop the jesus t shirt.... a lot of people are against jesus slamming.... they may not admit it...but its quite common lol... I have a t shirt that says, Christianity is jesus's version of wicca.... believe me, it gets a lot of angry people trying to stare me down ( and thats a stupid mistake to make )

drop the intense looks, and throw in a couple of *loving * pics.... pics with ya partner hugging or relaxing.... nothing sexual

now.... lol ......you have a genuine soft caring side and you need to let ya pics reflect that..... so maybe a pic with a favorite pet

you remind me of a young meatloaf... he is the singer in the album, * bat out of hell * ( it came out in the late 70's ).. he was intense but not threatening...and had a charisma about him that stood out

holybane

Nov 3, 2006, 5:54 PM

Thank you once again for more responses. As a side note, the Jesus shirt is not Christian or Jesus bashing, I know a priest who thought it was really cool, it's from penny-arcade, and it makes a lot more sense in context! Well I can't find the specific comic but here's one of them, http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2005/08/29

Anywho thanks everyone!

canuckotter

Nov 4, 2006, 1:48 PM

One of the writers of PA is actually a pretty devout Catholic, from what I understand, and he's generally the one to suggest Jesus. :) Here's the specific comic that shirt comes from: http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/08/04

Not quite as much fun (IMHO) as this (http://jayandsilentbob.com/budchrisdass1.html), though. ;)

jedinudist

Nov 4, 2006, 6:47 PM

Hey big community! I could use your help if you wouldn't mind.

Recently I've been talking to a few people and we've been having really good conversations... until I posted my pictures. After that, well they just stopped talking to me altogether and it's really bugging me. I know from experience and from talking to people that I'm not attractive but I'd like to see what my peers think, so please go to my profile, view my pictures, and give me the damage. I really wanna know if the pictures are causing it, or if it's something else, and I have asked them, they just don't respond.

Thanks everyone!

-Roger

Say What???

If someone stopped talking to you because they didn't like the way you look then to hell with them- you don't need them.

Your photos are fine, and contrary to what you state, I think you are attractive. You have a nice expression and a "niceness" to your face :)

On the contrary, lol - I have folks who wouldn't give me the time of day until I started posting some of my artwork here. Now... I don't talk to them - LOL

There are many of us here who will not judge you based on your looks, etc. I am one of them. There are many more. Do not let the loss of those who did judge you based on photographs cause you any concern what so ever.

Long Duck Dong

Nov 4, 2006, 8:38 PM

lol sorry, I was not suggesting it was jesus bashing....but i was suggesting that some people may see it as that, based on their personal beliefs lol... doesn't mean that the t shirt is wrong....

I still stick by my previous remarks tho... you come across as a deep, caring and sensitive gentleman tho, I wanna change my remarks about the intense look in the pics.... if i shut my eyes and read the energy of the pics, you are trying to portray more of a quiet, thinking, intelligent aspect of yourself

something about you, makes me feel that you may be too caring and that people may try to take you for a ride at times.... but you are simply a damm good friend

you don't come across as feminine, more as a quiet dominating person.... you prefer control to submission, but you are not aggressive controlling.... more passive controlling

there is a goth like feel around you, a sort of dark side....tho you don't feel to be the type of person that wears dark lipstick and goth clothing.....

holybane

Nov 6, 2006, 4:40 PM

Thanks Canuckotter! Jedinudist, you're very nice! And Long Duck Dong, it seems like you know me better than I know myself! Thanks for understanding. I want to get another shirt, less potentially offensive, probably funnier though. Anyway thanks again for everything, you guys are all so nice! Feel free to message me if you'd like, I'm kinda swamped with life and I don't get much time on the compy so I'm not sure I'll get back to all of you! Thanks,

Roger

snipped

Nov 6, 2006, 7:46 PM

Hey, no worries for you. I posted my picture of me holding a pet rat. The rat got more responses :eek:

smokey

Nov 6, 2006, 9:12 PM

Well everybody beat me to the screaming and shielding their eyes jokes damnit. :bigrin:

You look fine...if people don't like you for how you look its their loss man....besides if thats their attitude they are too shallow to bother with anyway.

As for snipped I don't know what to say except I hope the rat wasn't the well hung one in the pic. . :eek: :eek: :eek:

coyotedude

Nov 7, 2006, 2:39 AM

Hey big community! I could use your help if you wouldn't mind.

Recently I've been talking to a few people and we've been having really good conversations... until I posted my pictures. After that, well they just stopped talking to me altogether and it's really bugging me. I know from experience and from talking to people that I'm not attractive but I'd like to see what my peers think, so please go to my profile, view my pictures, and give me the damage. I really wanna know if the pictures are causing it, or if it's something else, and I have asked them, they just don't respond.

Thanks everyone!

-Roger

Dude, I don't know where in the hell you got the idea that you aren't attractive. Give it up! That face of yours - the sensitive eyes - well, those alone will make any number of folks (both female and male) melt right away.

(Except for the pics where you look like you're applying as a cashier at Satan's supermarket, of course. :) )

Just my :2cents:

Peace