Bisexual ASIANS - Where Are They??

[bicentaur]

we've always been known to be the conservative cousin amongst world continents, but it just puzzles me how little representation there is for bisexuality in these part of the woods.. (just check out the member's list)..

Is everyone just so comfortably closeted around here, or is this a place where there's just blue and pink without any purple in between..

heck, i just want some validation that there are other open-minded, sexually-liberated people who share a culture and background similar to mine.. i bet there are loads of us out there.. time to speak up and be heard, yes/no??

[JohnnyV]

Keep your eye out for Mimi, who is Asian and was very active on the board at one point.

J

[arana]

Keep your eye out for Mimi, who is Asian and was very active on the board at one point.

J
But Mimi lives here, not in Asia, Johnny. It's a little easier being open in America then it is in the Asian countries, though if I remember correctly it was still stressful for her coming out to her family. My mother's family stopped communicating with her when she married a white man and moved here...you think I'd be able to tell people that strict I was bi and be accepted with open arms? The only thing worse then being female and gay/bi is being male and gay/bi. Very sad.

[element_of_wind]

Here in America, I have a bisexual Asian friend (an asian-born-native, not a Asian American).

I think your neck of the woods is a little more closeted than mine. My guess is there's plenty of bi people in Malaysia - they just don't know that they're bi, or know that bisexuality exists.

[JJ_Lee]

Im a bi-curious azn so Im not sure if that counts.

[innaminka]

Actually I concur: which may demonstrate a facet of my lifestyle.

I travel a lot - its my business! I am alone for days (sometimes up to 14) in many major cities of the world.
I play around a little....... :female: :female:

In Europe (esp the Northern cities) Russia, and of course the Americas (Nth and Sth) finding a bi partner has never really been difficult. (The corporate world is rife with ladies like me)

But Asia is a dead loss, except maybe for a few places in India.

Religion? Social mores? Family structures? I don't know, but being bi and being in Asia is a dry run.

[Long Duck Dong]

the chinese internet is heavily censored and same with korea and other asian places

a lot of american cartoons and stuff are not allowed to be shown in china lol and people say that america is hard on freedom of speech and rights

[bicentaur]

hey all.. thanks for the replies

i think i forgot to mention that sex between consenting males is criminal in Malaysia, punishable by whipping, and imprisonment, or both.. and though it might seem totally unbeliveable to some of you, it's just a fact of life to me..

interesting enough, the law doesn't mention anything about sex between consenting females.. hmmm.. a hint of sexism veilled in our draconian ways maybe?? haha..

it's even harder for others like myself, who have lived abroad, because we have cultivated a part of our lives with a more liberal 'western' mindset.. we can't (or won't) unlearn what we know, and thus we have to move ahead and try to change things a little.. hmm.. am just not so sure if this is a futile attempt though??

[smokey]

I don't know where all the bisexual Asians are but I want one...no make that two...one of each sex. :bigrin: :bigrin: :bigrin:

[twosides]

i think i forgot to mention that sex between consenting males is criminal in Malaysia, punishable by whipping, and imprisonment, or both..

That would make it a little harder to be willing to be out and proud.

[JohnnyV]

It's ironic that so little is known about homosexuality in Asia, yet Asian cartoons are full of homoerotic stories. Many of the anime narratives from Korea, Japan, and even China feature central stories about two male characters who fall in love.

Remember too that Brokeback Mountain was conceived by a Chinese, the same man who wrote The Wedding Banquet. And then there is Happy Together and a bunch of other films from Asia that deal with homosexual themes.

Oh, and Thailand and the Philippines, from what I now, are hotbeds of homoerotic activity.

The key, I think, is that in all of these countries men are still supposed to have families and produce children. So they tend to indulge homosexual desires on the side through careful outlets.

J

[chook]

Where are all the bisexual Asians.....Hmmmmmmmmm let me see, I'd say it would be a safe bet to say that they are in Asia :2cents:


Cheers Chook :bigrin:

[arana]

Where are all the bisexual Asians.....Hmmmmmmmmm let me see, I'd say it would be a safe bet to say that they are in Asia :2cents:


Cheers Chook :bigrin:
I'm not in Asia.... I'll bet not all Italians are in Italy either...aye chookster? lol

[biChris_m]

I'm not in Asia....


LOL arana..so am I..I was born in Asia but live in the U.S. What bugs me though is the fact that some people want to hook up with me because I'm asian and not because I'm me :)

[darkeyes]

While at uni I knew a few bisexual asians mostly guys, but one eurasian girl from Singapore. I found the guys far more outgoing than the girl and more able to express their sexuality. However they were all quite extremely adamant that when they went home it was back in the closet and back to being good little het boys as their society just would never accept what they are.

The girl was a worse case. Being eurasian she was already considered a bit of a second class citizen in her own (chinese) community. She could never bring herself to express her sexuality here or at home because her upbringing and culture would never allow it.She was a really sad case for she so often sat crying her heart out on my bedroom floor just needing the comfort love and understanding of her own sex. After a year or so she befriended an arab girl from Saudi Arabia who was lesbian and they were close till the end of their education. Because of their culture and religion, their family neither would ever have but the most cursory physical contact and it was awful to watch two people who had so obviously fallen for each other in a big way unable to express their love for one another as they so badly wanted.

I am still in contact with the girl from Singapore and we send xmas and birthday cards to each other without fail. She still loves the other girl but is now married and has two adorable young kids who she would not now be without. But she knows that her husband can never be told of her sexuality, never even get an inkling of it, for quite simply he would cast her out on to the streets and she would be denied her children and the love she has from her own family. She has never had contact with the arab girl since she ended her course a year later and her heart just aches for knowledge of her well being.

In the west we are used to some oppression of our sexuality and disdain heaped upon it from differnt quarters. Compared to at least some asian and I think all arab societies we have it easy.

[bicentaur]

cheers for the story darkeyes.. my heart goes out to people like Singapore Girl, i can understand how family commitments and social pressure can drive her into being a wife and mother.. should she have chosen to defy all odds and pursue a relationship with Arab Girl, could things have turned out better??.. or far worse??.. it just looks to me like a no-win situation.. sigh!

biChris_m maybe being Asian is part of what makes you attractive.. can't find no fault in that.. haha!!

hi arana.. am just wondering where you were in Asia before uprooting to the States.. ohyeah do try to get the husband to watch KINSEY (starring Liam Neeson and Laura Linney).. heck i think everyone should watch KINSEY.. very enlightening/empowering stuff..

JohnnyV, great pic of your baby.. she (or he?) looks mega adorable!
bytheway, just some interesting fact - Ang Lee (director of Brokeback Mountain) was eeking out a living for 6 years before he hit gold in hollywood.. and during all that time, his wife supported him financially and spurred him on.. now that's a great biopic in itself!!

[darkeyes]

I hope that I didnt mislead you a little bicentaur. Singapore Girl as you have chosen to call her isnt miserable in a life of drudgery in an unhappy marriage. She has never said she loves her husband but has admitted that she is very fond of him for he seems to be a kind man who is a good husband and father. She has long since accepted her lot and apart from her sexual nature her greatest unhappiness is not knowing the fate of her friend.

Regarding the fact that there is no law against female to female relations in Malaysia, I do assume this is a leftover from the days of Empire when the British ruled the country. In the UK Old Queen Vic didnt believe that such relationships could exist because how did they do it? Unimaginative lady Victoria I think. Therefore when the governent of the day presented legislation for the Royal Assent outlawing female homosexuality she refused to sign it and it never became law. I have to assume that this is also the reason no such laws were enacted not just in Malaysia but many other parts of the old Empire. An interesting aside to this is that when the legal age for gay sex was lowered to 16 in the UK, for the first time the law made it an offence for under age all female nookie. Progress? Its a difficult issue which was recently discussed elsewhere in forums and I have real mixed feelings about it.

[arana]

hi arana.. am just wondering where you were in Asia before uprooting to the States.. ohyeah do try to get the husband to watch KINSEY (starring Liam Neeson and Laura Linney).. heck i think everyone should watch KINSEY.. very enlightening/empowering stuff..

I was born in Japan.

[darkeyes]

me knew there was somethin rana. always was attarcted 2 japanese women. tee hee

[bicentaur]

thanks darkeyes for shedding light on the female-on-female issue.. i do wonder, in old Victorian times, if there were any lesbian princesses?? if gay princes were acknowledged and recorded as part of history, it would be quite plausible that quite a few lasses in the royal family were having a lot of sisterly fun behind gilded doors.. eh!?!

i wasn't mislead into thinking that Singapore Girl leads a miserable life.. my point was that she could be enjoying a better life now because she chose not to pursue a relationship with Arab Girl (sorry for the labels, it just makes for easy reference).. it'd be great tho if both could have remained friends to this day..

[darkeyes]

thanks darkeyes for shedding light on the female-on-female issue.. i do wonder, in old Victorian times, if there were any lesbian princesses?? if gay princes were acknowledged and recorded as part of history, it would be quite plausible that quite a few lasses in the royal family were having a lot of sisterly fun behind gilded doors.. eh!?!

i wasn't mislead into thinking that Singapore Girl leads a miserable life.. my point was that she could be enjoying a better life now because she chose not to pursue a relationship with Arab Girl (sorry for the labels, it just makes for easy reference).. it'd be great tho if both could have remained friends to this day..

I have no doubt that lesbian princesses existed just as much as gay princes probably everywhere that had them. I cant give ya ne examples cos my real interest is political an social history bein a bit of a leftie. The rulin classes of every country wer a decadent lot an hav no doubt that every form of sexual experience wos found among them even wile they wer doin down the peasants for even thinkin bout havin missionary sex for pleasure an not jus 2 breed!

Re Singapore girl wether she an her friend cud eva hav a betta life together is a question me thought often but isnt 1 any can ansa really. So ingrained is ther religion an culture both felt shame at jus feelin wot they did for each otha. Wether they cud hav lived wiv themselves if they had broken out an did wot they so wanted 2 do in the long term me thinks is sumthin no 1 can ansa. They may hav been much more miserable who can say for havin defied culture religion an family for ther own selfish pleasures who can say. Duz know that neither will eva forget the otha an neither will eva stop loving the otha either. A tragedy. But who r we to say ther decision neva 2 consummate ther luv wos wrong? Duz know that me neva forget eitha of them as true martyrs 2 culture religion an family. That almost sounds like contempt..an in a way it is. But not for them. For them I have nuthin but love respect an affection, but for the rules which tortured them so much an deprived them of the true happiness such love deserved.

[LouiseBrookslover]

I don't know, but I sucked a Japanese exchange student's bisexual cock last Thursday.

[ScifiBiJen]

I take Chinese classes at my college and, thanks to my professor who was born & raised in China, it's one of the most subtly GLBT-unfriendly classes I've had. We're still pretty new to the language and the words "girlfriend" and "boyfriend" and pretty easy to mix up. My professor immediately corrects anyone who uses the one that would give them a same sex partner. He thinks it's hysterical and makes it like that's the worst mistake you could make, giving very "no no you don't want to say that at all" comments. Almost makes me wish I could say "no i Mean girlfriend".

The chinese TEXTBOOK is the same way. There will be a paragraph talking about a character but without saying "he" or "she". It'll mention that this person has a boyfriend. Review questions: Is this person a male or female? Yeah, it might be more Likely to be a female, but there's no room for other interpretation. If you say male, it's wrong. Just so heterosexist.

I feel like this post doesn't give an adequate description what it feels like to be in this class, but it's just so obvious that this teacher makes no room to be accepting of GLBT people.

[coyotedude]

Here's a fun fact for you: "Homosexuals" from other countries are not allowed to adopt children from China. It is against the Chinese adoption law. I don't remember whether it is considered a disease or an immoral behavior or both. But adoption agencies who assist gay parents in hiding their sexual orientation from the Chinese government get in nasty trouble if the government ever finds out. (I think that's an example of how many Chinese feel about the issue....)

Question, bicentaur: isn't Malaysia largely a Muslim country? I'd think that would be two strikes against coming out of the closet; as I recall, Islam is even less forgiving of diverse sexual orientations than Christianity is!

Peace

[bicentaur]

Talking about China, I read a really interesting article from a website promoting the film 'Cut Sleeve Boys'. I've pasted the entire text below, so go on and have a read.. and be poetically surprised/enlightened?!?..

yup coyotedude, Malaysia is indeed an Islamic state, and thus forbids homosexuality.. the strange bit is - consensual sex between males is considered criminal but the act of proclaiming oneself as being gay does not 'theoretically' get you into trouble.. nevertheless, ours is very much a hush-hush society, silently acknowledging the existence of GLBT-folk but choosing to sweep it under the carpet and pretend it doesn't exist..

so imagine my surprise when a new locally-produced television series recently featured a guy-guy relationship, and included themes like drugs-abuse (even to the extent of showing the white powdery stuff on telly).. i mean, like, what a shock to our pretend-virgin eyes!!.. man i love that show.. haha..

Note - the follwing was copied from www.cutsleeveboys.com

The Passion of the Cut Sleeve - Fact or Fiction?

China, the world’s oldest and most prolific culture, has a long history of generating elegant and poetic expressions for all aspects of human activity. Several examples of love between men are included in that history.

One early term, “The Half -Eaten Peach� started in the Zhou dynasty(500BC) and was recorded in the ancient work titled Han Fei Zi. The story goes that whilst out strolling one day, Duke Ling of Wei (534-493BC) and his favourite male concubine Mixi Zia stopped by a fruit laden peach tree. Xia took a bite of a peach and on discovering how delicious and sweet it was, immediately offered the fruit to the Duke. The ancient text records that the Duke exclaimed “how sincere your love is for me that you forgot your own appetite and thought only of giving me good things to eat�. This expression of love known smply as “The Half Eaten Peach� survives even today as a reference to homosexuality.

In the Han dynasty (220-260 BC) Emperor Ai(6BCE-1CE) was responsible for another poetic expression, "Tuan Hsiu" translated as 'The Passion of the Cut Sleeve'.The emperor had woken up one day to find his beloved male concubine asleep on his sleeve. Unwilling to disturb the sleeping youth, the emperor cut off the sleeve of his royal robe. So deep and thoughtful was the love of the emperor for his concubine that “Passion of the Cut Sleeve� became a favoured court statement by the Han literati as a term for male love.

Homosexuality was an accepted part of life at this time, known and understood amongst all classes. In the provinceâ€*of Fujian, boy marriages were practiced by the upper and educated classes who would buy boy brides from their parents to live with them until the boy himself reached marriageable age.

As time passed society changed and these old traditions were soon forgotten. Love between men was mistakenly seen as Western weakness. However all Chinese know that over time, life delivers a natural harmony and that nothing stays the same forever. The culture has evolved yet again and homosexual laws are being eased in Hong Kong. And who knows where the remarkable disproportionate number of male children in China will lead?

[coyotedude]

Dude, that article is very interesting, thanks. I looked up the site and found that I missed the movie in Seattle last month. Bummer.... I have read that the gay community in China is actually beginning to assert itself more, at least in the big cities like Shanghai. But it sounds like they have a long way to go.

Pretend-virgin eyes - I love it! I think that applies to more places than just Malaysia, my friend. I know lots of people even here in the States whose heads are firmly buried in the sand when it comes to sexuality in general. Of course, it was only in the last few years when our own Supreme Court invalidated some local laws against sodomy. And that hasn't stopped some folks in our country from continuing to push to outlaw sex between two men or two women. Go figure....

I would imagine it would be a lot tougher to be out of the closet in Malaysia than here, however!

Peace

[JrzGuy3]

College.










[ducks]

[long_thick_hard202]

Bi asian's are hottttttttttttttt...especially hottttt bi asian females...I love my asian sensations!!! Any out there in the DC metro area? Hit me up!!!

[darkeyes]

Bi asian's are hottttttttttttttt...especially hottttt bi asian females...I love my asian sensations!!! Any out there in the DC metro area? Hit me up!!!

Jesus Christ cant we see people as human beings with feelings and not just as good fucks.!! Sometimes we just dont do ourselves any fucking favours at all.

[bicentaur]

good point there darkeyes.. haha.. can't help but be amused by his choice of nickname though..

thanks coyotedude.. hmm i do find the States quite at odds with itself.. on one hand its the land of the free, yet the political climate with Bush on top seems to make it rather uhm.. staid and restrictive.. and yeah, the number of silly gay jokes on mainstream teenage pop movies are testament to a still homo-phobic mass audience, yes/no??

question - so besides San Fran, where else would it be a great place to live, particularly for bisexuals who don't really conform to a strict het/homo set of rules??

also.. do wonder if bisexual american-born asians have the same problems with family/culture/friends/etc. when they decide to be open about their sexuality.. i mean being brought up in a western society surely makes things easier, eh?..

[12voltman59]

Other gay friendly places: Key West, South Florida (Miami/Ft. Lauderdale/Palm Beaches), Orlando; Atlanta and Savannah, Georgia;
New York City; Toronto; Provincetown, Mass.;

[long_thick_hard202]

Jesus Christ cant we see people as human beings with feelings and not just as good fucks.!! Sometimes we just dont do ourselves any fucking favours at all.

For you fucking information I was you cuntbag and did I speak to you anyways? So stfu and have a nice day :)

[darkeyes]

For you fucking information I was you cuntbag and did I speak to you anyways? So stfu and have a nice day :)

In an open post you did indeed address me and yes, I do believe you have just proved my point. ty

[coyotedude]

Other gay friendly places: Key West, South Florida (Miami/Ft. Lauderdale/Palm Beaches), Orlando; Atlanta and Savannah, Georgia;
New York City; Toronto; Provincetown, Mass.;

On the US West Coast, Seattle and Portland are also pretty GLBT friendly. Los Angeles, of course, has a very large gay community (West Hollywood is the most famous gay neighborhood there). Across the Canadian border, I'd suspect that Vancouver would also be GLBT friendly, but you'd have to confirm that with someone from the area.

I've heard that Austin, TX and Oklahoma City (of all places!) have strong gay communities; can someone from TX or OK confirm that?

Peace

[coyotedude]

For you fucking information I was you cuntbag and did I speak to you anyways? So stfu and have a nice day :)

Dude, you need to chill out. You don't have to like or agree with darkeyes' comments, but calling someone a "cuntbag" is not appropriate.

And no, I will not stfu. You were out of line.

Peace

[coyotedude]

thanks coyotedude.. hmm i do find the States quite at odds with itself.. on one hand its the land of the free, yet the political climate with Bush on top seems to make it rather uhm.. staid and restrictive.. and yeah, the number of silly gay jokes on mainstream teenage pop movies are testament to a still homo-phobic mass audience, yes/no??

question - so besides San Fran, where else would it be a great place to live, particularly for bisexuals who don't really conform to a strict het/homo set of rules??

also.. do wonder if bisexual american-born asians have the same problems with family/culture/friends/etc. when they decide to be open about their sexuality.. i mean being brought up in a western society surely makes things easier, eh?..

I'd say that progress is being made here, but it's been a long, slow road. It doesn't help that we Americans tend to be repressed in terms of sexuality in general. American movies and TV do not accurately reflect what really goes on in American bedrooms, to be frank. (Whether that's good or bad.... well, that depends on your point of view! :) ) Being uptight about sex in general doesn't help people deal with sex between two guys or two ladies, no.

I'm not Asian myself, but I have friends and acquaintances in the Asian community, including a few who are gay, lesbian, or bi. My impression in talking with them is that it can still be pretty hard dealing with family, especially if they are first generation here in the States. But then, juggling the expectations of the family and the home culture with being surrounded by American culture can be tricky even if you're completely str8!

Peace

[bicentaur]

huh? austin, texas?!? :eek: haha.. i'd have thought that'd be one of the most conservative/repressed state in the US..

you're right coyotedude, i think being first generation American is tough enough.. but being glbt makes it twice as hard.. (hmm.. perhaps they should start thinking about a follow up to The Joy Luck Club and adding on a main charater who is queer)..

talking about television, one thing that i totally dig about British tv is their totally blatant way of dealing with sexuality.. tv series like Shameless and Queer As Folk really tell it like it is.. without too much bubble-gum pop to dilute the issue..

hey.. long_thick_hard i'd apologise if i were you..

[meta23]

huh? austin, texas?!? :eek: haha.. i'd have thought that'd be one of the most conservative/repressed state in the US.

Austin is really totally different to the rest of Texas. As evidence, consider the recent elections, in which the Republican candidate for governor got 16% of the vote in Travis County (Austin).

Austin is Molly Ivins, Jim Hightower, Mike Judge, Bill Hicks, Willie Nelson, and so on. South of the river was settled by hippies, there's a monthly VW parade on South Congress. People keep chickens and goats in the city, and swim naked in the river.

The bi community isn't as big as Massachusetts, but it exists. There's a gay pride event, local queer zines, and so on. I haven't met any bi Asians here, though, unfortunately...