Biphobia

[tenni]

Biphobia is aversion toward bisexuality (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bisexuality) or people who are identified or perceived as being bisexual. Similarly to homophobia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homophobia), it refers to hatred and prejudice specifically against those identified or perceived as being in the bisexual community. It can take the form of denial that bisexuality is a genuine sexual orientation (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_orientation), or of negative stereotypes (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_stereotypes) about people who are bisexual (such as the beliefs that they are promiscuous or dishonest). Other forms of biphobia include bisexual erasure (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bisexual_erasure)

Is it biphobic to dslike kissing a person of the same gender but really like kissing someone of the opposite gender?

[Jazminedress]

I dont worry about it, there is enough out there of people accusing other people of everything.............I simple go on day to day, do what I like that is good for me, if someone doesnt like it or is phobic, that is a them issue, not a me issue

[SilkyHoseLover]

Is it biphobic to dslike kissing a person of the same gender but really like kissing someone of the opposite gender?

I wouldn't characterize it that way. We're so damned hung-up on labels these days that we're all being driven insane. Everyone is so eager to hang a derogatory label on someone who just happens to have definable views on a given subject that may differ from their own.

If you like or dislike something, it shouldn't have to be considered a phobia, or worse -- which is so prevalent these days -- hatred. It's ok to have preferences in all areas of life without there being some dark, evil motive behind it. Just be respectful and remember that not everybody sees things as you do.

In another thread, I just shared my thoughts on kissing another man. My position has evolved over time, but I'm still the same person, inside. I wasn't 'biphobic' when I had no interest in this activity, and I'm not rabidly 'pro-bi' now. I'm just me.

Be confident and embrace the things that make you an individual.

[Jazminedress]

I wouldn't characterize it that way. We're so damned hung-up on labels these days that we're all being driven insane. Everyone is so eager to hang a derogatory label on someone who just happens to have definable views on a given subject that may differ from their own.

If you like or dislike something, it shouldn't have to be considered a phobia, or worse -- which is so prevalent these days -- hatred. It's ok to have preferences in all areas of life without there being some dark, evil motive behind it. Just be respectful and remember that not everybody sees things as you do.

In another thread, I just shared my thoughts on kissing another man. My position has evolved over time, but I'm still the same person, inside. I wasn't 'biphobic' when I had no interest in this activity, and I'm not rabidly 'pro-bi' now. I'm just me.

Be confident and embrace the things that make you an individual.

whats funny, my experience, the ones who claim to be the most tolerant or understanding, are the ones full of hatred.

Just like, the ones who claim to be the most giving...........are not
and the ones who like to talk about how much they do for others, generally are the takers etc etc etc

[SilkyHoseLover]

whats funny, my experience, the ones who claim to be the most tolerant or understanding, are the ones full of hatred.

I don't intend to take this into a political area, but, in a general sense in today's America, that's quite evident. The ones who preach tolerance and acceptance are very willing to embrace you, as long as your ideology matches theirs.

[KDaddy23]

Tenni asked, "Is it biphobic to dslike kissing a person of the same gender but really like kissing someone of the opposite gender?"

Probably more of a personal preference for some but for others, well, boys don't kiss boys (but it's okay if girls kiss). It's a lie that we don't and one perpetrated by the socioreligious taboo against anything homosexual. If you believe this, then it's what you believe but that doesn't make one biphobic... unless a bisexual is enough to give you nightmares and invoke fears that they're going to glom you for sex which isn't all that different from what I've heard true homophobes say. Does it make me biphobic if I kiss some guys but not others? Does it mean anything if I kiss some women and not others? I wouldn't think so; it's my personal choice and decision but if kiss "Ralph" but won't kiss "Jake," the question you should ask is why won't I kiss Jake - and the answer will very likely be, "I don't want to."

And if someone is truly biphobic, that's their problem to deal with and it'd be best for them to not try to make it my problem; they're not going to like what I have to say about it.

[Jozyxt]

I avoid sexual politics. I do what works for me and let other do for them. People that fight of this kind of thing are toxic.

[Jazminedress]

Tenni asked, "Is it biphobic to dslike kissing a person of the same gender but really like kissing someone of the opposite gender?"

Probably more of a personal preference for some but for others, well, boys don't kiss boys (but it's okay if girls kiss). It's a lie that we don't and one perpetrated by the socioreligious taboo against anything homosexual. If you believe this, then it's what you believe but that doesn't make one biphobic... unless a bisexual is enough to give you nightmares and invoke fears that they're going to glom you for sex which isn't all that different from what I've heard true homophobes say. Does it make me biphobic if I kiss some guys but not others? Does it mean anything if I kiss some women and not others? I wouldn't think so; it's my personal choice and decision but if kiss "Ralph" but won't kiss "Jake," the question you should ask is why won't I kiss Jake - and the answer will very likely be, "I don't want to."

And if someone is truly biphobic, that's their problem to deal with and it'd be best for them to not try to make it my problem; they're not going to like what I have to say about it.

I think you wont kiss Jake because you went with progressive insurance and you are state farm -phobic


Okay, and before someone takes that the wrong way, or you live in a country where you wont get it, its an insurance commercial joke

[tenni]

"Anyone who is bisexual might internalize negative stereotypes and myths that a wider community holds about bisexuality. This is internalized monosexism.
" internalized oppression as ?the fear and self-hate of one or more of a person?s own identities.?
This internalization might result from being exposed to negative ideas about an aspect of a person?s own identity from a young age.

Someone with monosexism(gay or heterosexism) behaviors and ideas may believe that bisexuality does not really exist or is impossible. Others may acknowledge its existence but try to exclude bisexual people from their communities.

Examples of internalized monosexism(bisexual)

Monosexism can manifest in many ways in various communities, including LGBTQIA+ communities.
A person with internalized monosexism (bisexualism) may believe that their sexuality is a phase or not valid. They may also believe that they are incapable of having a monogamous relationship because they are bisexual.?)

A male bisexual may resist kissing another male due to internalized monosexualism. " Guys do not do that" (kiss)

Initially I did not kiss a male partner. I adhered to the myth.(sounds like Silk did too?

[Long Duck Dong]

I dont worry about it, there is enough out there of people accusing other people of everything.............I simple go on day to day, do what I like that is good for me, if someone doesnt like it or is phobic, that is a them issue, not a me issue

Amen to that........

I got called transphobic because I will not date a trans person...... what I actually said was sorry, I am not interested in a date with you ( said to a trans person ).. but meeting people for coffee and chats is fine. Somehow they read it as I would not go on a date with them because they were trans.

[Neonaught]

I've seen the attitude online that bi men are actually gay men who have not come all the way out of the closet. That's total bullshit! I'm bi because I find men and women sexually appealing and will happily have great sex with either. I sometimes wonder if envy might be a factor at work here.

[darkeyes]

what I actually said was sorry, I am not interested in a date with you ( said to a trans person ).. but meeting people for coffee and chats is fine. Chats n' coffee? Sounds like a date to me, Duckie!! ��

[bikeracer13]

I dont worry about it, there is enough out there of people accusing other people of everything.............I simple go on day to day, do what I like that is good for me, if someone doesnt like it or is phobic, that is a them issue, not a me issue

always like the way you see thngs, as they are, not what people want them to be

[Jazminedress]

always like the way you see thngs, as they are, not what people want them to be

I just personally want to live life, I am nearing the end of it now, arguing should be a young person thing

[swvsucker]

I find it entirely idiotic to call someone phobic because they do not want to do something. Just because someone doesn't want to do bi or gay things doesn't make them homophobic or transphobic. Using that logic, if I am fat and you do not eat until you get fat, then you are fatphobic.

[dicktrobing]

Is it biphobic to dslike kissing a person of the same gender but really like kissing someone of the opposite gender?

I don't thinks so, I've had sex with guys who do not kiss, they eat my arse, swallow my cock , fuck my arse and let me do the same to them,

When it cums to locking lips its off bounds

[KDaddy23]

I think you wont kiss Jake because you went with progressive insurance and you are state farm -phobic


Okay, and before someone takes that the wrong way, or you live in a country where you wont get it, its an insurance commercial joke

I dunno, that Jake is foine! I'd kiss him!

[KDaddy23]

It amazes me that anyone in 2023 would think bisexuality is a phase; I heard that back in 1964 but, you see, the problem isn't how someone views their sexuality: It's the people who perpetuates nonsense like it's a phase or one is really gay or just because they don't do something that is unrealistically expected, then maybe they're not really bisexual. And then assuming that being bisexual "has to be done" in a certain way and removing personal choice - and choice being determined by trying something and deciding if it's for them or not.

And what the hell do relationships have to do with it? There is a slew of bisexuals who are and can be monogamous and a slew of bisexuals who thumb their nose at monogamy and... so what? Being monogamous isn't sexuality issue because, um, duh, straight people thumb their noses at monogamy and so do gay people. It's a lame attempt to hold bisexuals to a standard of behavior that... a lot of people don't and/or won't - and then, holding bisexuals to a standard of belief - all that socioreligious claptrap - that, by definition, defies those beliefs; or insisting that, in our case, male bisexuals interact with men in the exact same way they'd interact with women.

Ridiculous and seriously close-minded. The first time I heard this crap was, again, in 1964 and if anything is clear, it's that we haven't learned a damned thing if this shit is still being thrown around in 2023...

[Jazminedress]

I dunno, that Jake is foine! I'd kiss him!

Something tells me he has been kissed a lot

(Footloose joke)

[tenni]

KD
Yes, monogamy is not a sexuality but the "myth" that bisexuals(a sexuality) are not able to keep it in their pants and be monogamous. The myth about monogamy is also in Gay sexually but is based on stereotypes of bisexuals. If you read these thread you probably will read about plenty of non monogamous bisexuals (. They may argue that they are being promiscus with permission of a partner but they are not monogomous partner. They article (post 9) argues that myths do not line up with reality of monogamous bisexuals. Bisexuals may internalize several negative myths and become a bisexual promiscuous partner.

I still can not wrap my head around that a bisexual will kiss both genders. Those males who do not kiss both genders and argue that they are only interest in cock on a man kind of show me anger about comments about two men kissing. There seems some negative stuff going on for the bisexuals who do not kiss other

[Long Duck Dong]

Chats n' coffee? Sounds like a date to me, Duckie!! ��

You can come around any time for coffee and a chat, and call it a date if you want, lol....and yes I know about coffee dates, lol....

But I will never meet a unknown person ( male, female or non binary, trans ) in my house, alone, so you need to bring your partner, and my partner will be there as well......if it was just you and me meeting for a friendly chat for the first time, then only in a public cafe.

If it was a platonic date then you get to choose the location that suits you best....and its better if you bring your partner, cos I tend to be very quiet and do more listening than talking....and one sided conversations are not much fun lol

[Long Duck Dong]

I've seen the attitude online that bi men are actually gay men who have not come all the way out of the closet. That's total bullshit! I'm bi because I find men and women sexually appealing and will happily have great sex with either. I sometimes wonder if envy might be a factor at work here.

Heard the same thing myself many times over the years..........most times its been said by gay guys that have no interest in a female, some women have said it as bi guys are really gay guys that are too scared to be gay and honest about it.....and I have always heard ( not as common ) is the one where bi females are actually lesbians who are just fucking guys for money or attention.

I caused a fight in one bar when a gay guy made that remark about bi guys and I said do you have anal sex, the guy said no, why......and I said cos I am trying to work out if have your head up your ass or you are just a fucking asshole.

[69luvr]

I dont worry about it, there is enough out there of people accusing other people of everything.............I simple go on day to day, do what I like that is good for me, if someone doesnt like it or is phobic, that is a them issue, not a me issue

I agree with you

[KDaddy23]

KD
Yes, monogamy is not a sexuality but the "myth" that bisexuals(a sexuality) are not able to keep it in their pants and be monogamous. The myth about monogamy is also in Gay sexually but is based on stereotypes of bisexuals. If you read these thread you probably will read about plenty of non monogamous bisexuals (. They may argue that they are being promiscus with permission of a partner but they are not monogomous partner. They article (post 9) argues that myths do not line up with reality of monogamous bisexuals. Bisexuals may internalize several negative myths and become a bisexual promiscuous partner.

I still can not wrap my head around that a bisexual will kiss both genders. Those males who do not kiss both genders and argue that they are only interest in cock on a man kind of show me anger about comments about two men kissing. There seems some negative stuff going on for the bisexuals who do not kiss other

It always comes down to what you're going to believe: The myths, stereotypes, and misconceptions... or the truth of things. Kissing is a sex thing and we - anyone - can be "funny" about who they'll kiss and why they'd kiss them and this can involve both men and women, i.e., there are men and women I'll kiss and men and women that I won't - or I don't really want to but they want to be kissed and, oh, okay - it's just a kiss. Now, if you're a bi guy, do you have to kiss men? Not if you don't want to. Depends on what you think kissing mean, i.e., it's too personal or intimate, which has always made me get a look on my face because you're going to tell me that kissing a guy is more intimate than sucking his dick or having your dick all up in his ass?

But a lot of men are hung up on the taboo and for as long as I've been alive, kissing a guy is... gay as fuck. I've been with guys who've told me that I can do anything I want to except kiss them and, okay, I'm usually good with that but if he wants to kiss, okay - because it's not like I've never kissed a guy before. Personal preference and all that. Now if you are going to insist that a guy should kiss other guys because they're bi - and they don't believe in kissing men, yeah - you're always going to get pushback from them and you shouldn't be surprised or be "upset" about it.

Bisexuality and monogamy do not play nice with each other and I don't know why anyone thinks that it should. Yes, you can be bisexual and monogamous but a lot of bisexuals in a relationship find that monogamy prevents them from being the way they want to be - and it's not about promiscuity, which is part of the bullshit that gets laid on bisexuals and that's because anyone who wants to have sex - and not particular about who, when, or how many times in a day - is said to be promiscuous and that's a social no-no. If you're single but you have multiple people that you have sex with, you're gonna be told to pick one person and only have sex with them because the rules of monogamy also apply to anyone who isn't in a relationship or married.

If you believe that crap about promiscuity and you believe that monogamy is the only way to be in a relationship, I'd say that you need some coffee as part of a wakeup call that will introduce you to the reality of relationships versus sex and sexuality. Bi people can behave themselves and like they're supposed to and a lot of them do just that and... some don't. That's not exclusively a sexuality thing because anyone can be non-monogamous but knowing what the consequences of their actions could be. Trying to tie bisexuality to relationships is a mistake and one that we've been repeating all across time because just having the desire to have sex both ways defies the tenets of monogamy and you are never, ever supposed to want anyone other than the person you're with and if you want someone else, leave them but many find that this is not an option so "negotiated infidelity" becomes a thing and plain old infidelity has always been a problem in any relationship and regardless to sexuality.

That's a human thing; it's us defying social norms and especially when they do not work for us.

[IDunnoMan]

Biphobia is aversion toward bisexuality (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bisexuality) or people who are identified or perceived as being bisexual. Similarly to homophobia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homophobia), it refers to hatred and prejudice specifically against those identified or perceived as being in the bisexual community. It can take the form of denial that bisexuality is a genuine sexual orientation (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_orientation), or of negative stereotypes (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_stereotypes) about people who are bisexual (such as the beliefs that they are promiscuous or dishonest). Other forms of biphobia include bisexual erasure (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bisexual_erasure)

Is it biphobic to dslike kissing a person of the same gender but really like kissing someone of the opposite gender?

Yeah I resent the part about being promiscuous or a cheater. Ever since I told my gf it's a worry for her that comes up sometimes. Like what about the women I've slept with?

She also doesn't fully understand that it's purely a sexual attraction, or an attraction to penis more so and not men that I have. I have zero interest in a relationship with a man.

[wifekinky4husband]

If I do not like kissing someone, it is that simple. I do not like kissing them. I didn't like kissing women and did not. Now I do during the heat of the moment. Me and also my husband do not like to see guys kissing. We do not like it so we do not watch it. It is not attractive to us and we lose interest sexually. It is a preference. That's all.

[Jazminedress]

If I do not like kissing someone, it is that simple. I do not like kissing them. I didn't like kissing women and did not. Now I do during the heat of the moment. Me and also my husband do not like to see guys kissing. We do not like it so we do not watch it. It is not attractive to us and we lose interest sexually. It is a preference. That's all.

I have a strange thing, I hate to see two guys kissing if they both have beards, clean shaven, its fine, but something about two beards

[KDaddy23]

It's about the optics; the social conditioning we all receive says that boys do not kiss (or have sex) with boys - but if they do, then they're gay (and God is gonna get them). Which is a lie, of course, but once this gets pounded into our heads, it affects what we see. Two guys kissing is barf city - but two girls kissing is hot as fuck - on the real, who you kiss is your own personal preference and isn't indicative of some kind of phobia or negative sexuality bias. I grew up with some folks saying that if you're bisexual, then whatever you do with women, you do with men - it's supposed to be all nice and equal except it doesn't work like that. I mean, you could... if you wanted to. That would be like giving a guy shit because he sucks dick but won't eat pussy or that weird thing where a guy will fuck a woman in the ass but won't bone a guy.

It's a mistake to try to tell people how to be their chosen sexuality because from day one, you have to learn it; you have to find the things you like and don't like. Years ago, someone said that because I wasn't of a mind to kiss men, that meant that I wasn't really bisexual... and it was a bi guy who said this. I came back with, "So, does that mean because you don't suck cock, you're not bi either?"

He cited personal preference and I just looked at him then asked, "Did you just hear yourself?" Some of this bullshit is homegrown and not always the fault of those who aren't bisexual.

[wifekinky4husband]

I have a strange thing, I hate to see two guys kissing if they both have beards, clean shaven, its fine, but something about two beards

I get that!

[wifekinky4husband]

weird thing where a guy will fuck a woman in the ass but won't bone a guy.

He cited personal preference and I just looked at him then asked, "Did you just hear yourself?" Some of this bullshit is homegrown and not always the fault of those who aren't bisexual.

I love what you write.

We had a guy get offended that my husband only likes females, will do absolutely anything with a female but will only suck, get sucked, and get fucked by the guys. He was so upset that my guy doesn't do men anally. I asked him, "Why does what my man does or doesn't do any issue of yours? He is an individual, not a cloned bisexual with set parameters." I asked, "Is it that his cock is so hot you want it that much? We have 11 others, for real? Not enough?" He went on mumbling how it's not fair. I laughed so hard I fell of my stool. I almost went there "What a douche." I did not. I had a chat with this "other." Months later its all ironed out. He humbled his arrogance and sincerely apologized. He's a great guy who came in the group as a couple with the preconceived notions you were talking about along with acting like a spoiled kid. Btw he loves fucking my husband, sucking his cock and getting his cock sucked by us. I have fucked him a few times myself. He is quite a good fuck. Glad we didn't have to give him the boot, hummmm or should I? I haven't worn my cowgirl boots in a while, that might be fun, oh and with spurs - ouuuuuch! ;)

[KDaddy23]

"We had a guy get offended that my husband only likes females, will do absolutely anything with a female but will only suck, get sucked, and get fucked by the guys.

I knew a few guys like that as well as some people who were quite upset with them about it. What they failed to understand is that we go through a period in our bisexuality where we have to figure out what we like and what we don't; the things that brings us the most intimate and sexual pleasures and the things that don't or get relegated to the "once in a blue moon" folder or "if you catch me when I've had a few drinks" department. My protege had an FWB who'd suck his dick and bend over to be fucked. He had a fit because he went to blow his FWB - and his FWB had a hissy fit about it and he's thinking that this should not be the case - but I explained to him that when it comes to male cocksuckers, there are guys who'd rather give than receive and if you want to know why, um, ask him.

My protege cited "internalized bi/homophobia" as the reason - but he hadn't asked the guy - and I jumped dead in his ass for making assumptions like that. Come to find out that the guy had body image issues and felt that because he didn't have a big dick (and like Black men are supposed to have), no one would want to suck him off. But wait! There's more!

A week or so later, my protege hits me up and he is livid because he wanted his FWB to screw him and... the guy refused. Wanted to know why there were guys who didn't want to use their dicks and like guys are supposed to. Went on another rant about internalized homophobia and... I ripped him another new one - because some people never learn the first time - and found him guilty of presuming what being a bisexual - or gay - man means as well as spouting the then current bullshit designed to stab bisexuality in the eye.

I told him about the young adult lover I had that I introduced to sex with men. Loved getting his dick sucked - but he couldn't bring himself to suck mine and after fucking me once - and it was amazing - he found that it wasn't to his liking. But he decided that because he couldn't suck me - and it wasn't fair for me to get him off and not get off with him, he wanted to be fucked - and he had felt that this was what he really wanted to experience. The point I needed to make with my protege is that you cannot ever assume how the sex is supposed to happen because every last one of us has to decide what we like, don't like, and why we make those determinations. Personal preference is strongly protected; you don't have to like a guy's preferences but they must be respected at all times.

My gay boyfriend was a sheer joy to have sex with... but he didn't want to fuck me and the one time he did, omg, he gave it to me good... and hated doing it. "That's not who I am," he had said and I had to respect that and "finally" accept that just because I'm versatile in these things, it's not all guys. They could do it all but what they learned about having sex with men set their preferences - and I'm of a mind that once a guy sets those preferences, you'd better make one hell of a strong case to get him to change them.

And any phobia you want to mention has nothing to do with it. I know that some guys would love to fuck a guy in the ass... if he didn't keep losing his erection every time he tried. All it means is that he can't and that shouldn't be a reflection on him - or perceived as some internalized bullshit that, in my opinion, doesn't make sense because in any of this, I find it very improbable that a guy has biphobia - but he's actively bisexual; the two things defy convention. But the problem isn't what a guy will or won't do sexually: It's what everyone else thinks a bi guy should be doing and if he doesn't, well, he's suffering from self-induced biphobia and, indeed, his bisexuality could be called into question, like, oh, um, how can you call yourself a bisexual male if you won't kiss men?

Whew. I'm versatile. Most guys aren't. Personal preference based upon actual experience. No phobias going on here, but internal dissonance is a different thing like some guys don't like that they like having sex with guys because they were told that it's forbidden for men to do this - but the reality clashes with dogmatic rhetoric. Hmm. Don't worry - it'll pass, and you'll get over it because if you don't, being an active bisexual male is going to be a problem.

[BackyardShaman]

No I don?t think so, I?ve had sex with other men but never have kissed on the mouth despite kissing cocks and nipples. I haven?t ruled it out it may still happen one day.

[tenni]

No I don?t think so, I?ve had sex with other men but never have kissed on the mouth despite kissing cocks and nipples. I haven?t ruled it out it may still happen one day.

Hi BackyardShaman

Is it possible that you have internalized phobias, fears from hearing them spoken by straight people? (ie men don't kiss other guys unless they are gay.)

Why is putting your lips on the lips of another man so taboo for you?
But ok to put your lips on a woman's lips.?


I intially would not kiss a man but over time I relaxed and kissed a man . It was kinda like a woman if he was sensual. It is the same rationalizing about kissing the nipples of a man or a woman. It they were sensual, I liked it ...eventually a lot. Silk reported similar internalized biphobic reactions.

[DD788Snipe]

I just personally want to live life, I am nearing the end of it now, arguing should be a young person thing
Absolutely.

[Bi-Rõnin]

I saw a meme that sums it up very well61495
It works for homo, bi, trans, etc..

As for kissing, I never had any desire to participate in that with a guy. Guy in Utah just went for it. Definitely something to be said for a someone's tongue pushing its way into your mouth while a cock thrust into your body