Shame

[bob onit]

Why am I ashamed that I like to give blowjobs

[bobby63114]

Probably because that was the way you were taught, but it is nonsense...

[KDaddy23]

Being ashamed is, in fact, the way we're taught to be about such things. The question you should ask yourself is, "Why should I be ashamed of something that I like doing?" and the answer should be, "I don't have to be ashamed!" and then believe it since it's the truth of yourself. Me? Never been ashamed of my love of giving blowjobs because it didn't make sense to me - but, like we all do, I knew that I shouldn't have sex with guys and how evil it was and... it's not the truth and once you understand that it isn't, you can stop being ashamed.

[cornholejoe]

never did feel that way maybe because i liked it

[foundpuppy]

Why am I ashamed that I like to give blowjobs


I don?t feel shame, I feel pride in that I was able get him off with only my mouth.

[wifekinky4husband]

Why am I ashamed that I like to give blowjobs

It's soooooo freaking HOT! I do not know why anyone should ever be ashamed! I love watching men suck cock and love sucking cock with them! Grrrrr.

[tenni]

"Shame" and feeling shame are external feelings from you Shame feelings are imposed on you by society..

You feel a conflict in enjoying yourself while society is telling you that it is wrong.
"Guilt" feelings come from you. You do not feel guilt and so there is the conflict.

[eager4cum]

Why am I ashamed that I like to give blowjobs
I really think and feel that shame about sucking cocks is all about what society has convinced you about what is right or wrong concerning sex. I am convinced that these values society is espousing is based on crap.
Any sex should be considered wonderful - full stop. 2 people sharing a very intimate relationship and making each other feel good should never be wrong.

[Neonaught]

Look inward and analyze your feelings. You gave a man oral sex. He enjoyed it. You enjoyed it. No one was harmed. It's no one's damned business how you live your sex life. Examine the behavior and maybe you'll see there is no shame in it.

[stephmtl]

I totally get this. I m doing this on the DL (bi married) and dont feel great about that .. :(

[Tight1-4u]

I have know guys that actually get physically sick after sex.. I have had more than one guy that after I have sucked him hard and he has fucked my pussy and then cum inside me get physically sick and puck.. they thoroughly enjoyed me sucking him and then stuffing their cock in my pussy and fucking me deep and for a longtime and getting worked up enough to cum deep inside me.. then the reality sets in that another guy got them so horny that they fucked him and cum in him.. the first few times can be kinda hard for some guys.. especially when they realize that they did that and then realize that they want more!!! The taboo part gets them.. the conflict of right and wrong gets them.. they did something they can never get back.. and worst of all they should have never enjoyed it.. but they did enough to cum in me!!

[Tag200]

I too feel shame and doubt etc after I have a interaction (do not have much experience) and I think it is society and the fact I am married .. but I still want to suck cock

[KDaddy23]

For some, doing "something they have no business doing" creates a physical reaction that I've seen vary from guys throwing up to having quite a breakdown/meltdown. Sometimes, I've seen this happen to a guy before any sex happens and have believed that this is his conscious telling him that he shouldn't do this and creating inner stresses that causes a physical reaction; I've usually seen it after the guy cums and in what I call "the moment of absolute clarity," when realizes that he just had sex with a man and... vomit, crying, anger, shame, guilt, and just flat out losing their shit.

It's why I learned to talk to guys - usually newbies - before the fact and especially after the fact and some guys have a delayed reaction to it, like how I have sex with a guy, he seems to be okay immediately afterward but, later, the reality of what he did hits him and... it gets very bad for him... and why I've told guys, "If you have any difficulties later, call me." Hard for them to believe that they actually did it; even harder for them to believe and admit that they enjoyed it; for some cocksuckers, the shame of sucking a guy's cock can evoke some physical and/or psychological things including feeling ashamed itself. The question anyone who sucks dick and enjoys doing it - but feels shame afterward - is: What sense does it make to feel ashamed of something you wanted to do? Don't let your emotions answer this question - let your intelligence answer it and the answer you should come up with is... it doesn't make sense to be ashamed and more so when, clearly, you're not the only male cocksucker around - there are an untold number of us; married, single, from all walks of life and some of us aren't gay (and like people think we are).

Don't be your own worst enemy in this...

[Jozyxt]

Why am I ashamed that I like to give blowjobs

Shame is a strange emotion. But it is dealt with by talking about the experience that gives you shame. When you can't talk about it, like the feelings you have after sucking a guys cock, when he just leaves. It can be really hard. You need to find placed to talk or write and process. This forum is one such place.

I sometimes feel a kind of self disgust after an orgasm with a man. Like why do I let myself do this disgusting thing. Which is weird because is don;t feel this way with my FWB. The difference is we flirt before hand and talk afterwards to normalize the relationship. We text occasionally to coordinate our schedules and set up dates. A relationship really helps.

[Tag200]

Shame is a strange emotion. But it is dealt with by talking about the experience that gives you shame. When you can't talk about it, like the feelings you have after sucking a guys cock, when he just leaves. It can be really hard. You need to find placed to talk or write and process. This forum is one such place.

I sometimes feel a kind of self disgust after an orgasm with a man. Like why do I let myself do this disgusting thing. Which is weird because is don;t feel this way with my FWB. The difference is we flirt before hand and talk afterwards to normalize the relationship. We text occasionally to coordinate our schedules and set up dates. A relationship really helps.

is your FWB a-man or a women? I assume a man but wanted to double check

[stephmtl]

"This forum is one such place."

totally. I find it great to be able to share these discussions with like-minded others

[stephmtl]

its a weird mix of shame and being turned on by the taboo aspect of it for me.

[querty]

Fortunately for me my to introduction to MM sex was a really good experience with trusted individuals as I have described in other threads. I didn't feel any shame at all, I was happy that I FINALLY had the opportunity to try MM oral ( I had been more tha curious since I was a teenager). I felt a sense of clam and well being, probably because I had resolved a very long standing conflict between my desires and the notion that I would be made less of a man by having done so. I didn't feel any less of a Man. It's what I was brought up to believe by society/environment/religion at the time.

I have a buddy who almost immediately afterwards feels "Disgusted" with himself and for days afterwards. With what he aas told me, I believe it to be the situations he is partaking in (quick blow jobs with strangers met online) vs the act itself. He and his wife used to swing and he was on the DL with on of the hubby's that they knew well and he liked. He's never expressed shame after an encounter with him. In the end, I think it's different for all of us and heavily influenced by the environments and influencers that we grew up with.

So, my feedback to you: No need to feel any shame. And when/if you do, focus on WHY you feel ashamed, and not what you are ashamed OF. Perhaps that will help.

[KDaddy23]

querty said, "I have a buddy who almost immediately afterwards feels "Disgusted" with himself and for days afterwards. With what he aas told me, I believe it to be the situations he is partaking in (quick blow jobs with strangers met online) vs the act itself."

I'd wager and suspect that his immediate feelings of disgust came from cumming and being in the refractory period of sex more than how he was doing things and I'll say in again (and will keep saying it): It's normal to feel that way after cumming. The "shame" comes in, sometimes, when you know that you love sucking cock and, well, you're not supposed to love it, do it, think about it, etc., and it can make one feel shameful... because they love doing it. It's pretty weird how this works from man to man but I've seen this so many times that I can speak to it and hope it helps anyone who's feelig the same way... over something they wanted to do.

[Footstep40]

I have never felt shame due to the actual act in and of itself, the situation or the person perhaps, but that I think is more regret than shame. I have zero shame about giving head or enjoying doing it, I’d actually say it’s one of my favorite activities.

[Jozyxt]

is your FWB a-man or a women? I assume a man but wanted to double check

Man.
He responded to my doublelist ad. We actually have some things in common and enjoy talking too.

[dicktrobing]

Why am I ashamed that I like to give blowjobs

It's down to social programming that is the way you were brought up by your parents, the education system and other influences you had as you had. In many ways its great you have bucked all of this and indulge in something you enjoy doing and gives you satisfaction, and that is key why feel guilty doing something that gives satisfaction and joy, so long it does no harm to others.

I guess you will just have to eat more cock and swallom more cum to get over the feeling of shame :bigrin:

[KDaddy23]

dicktrobing said, "It's down to social programming that is the way you were brought up by your parents, the education system and other influences you had as you had."

He's right about that because we are programmed/conditioned to feel shame about having sex with another guy. I'd say that it's normal to feel ashamed but, again, why be ashamed of something that you want to do and you enjoy? It makes no sense and it's my belief and contention that once you get it into your head that what our morality says about this is wrong, you'll see that there's no reason to be ashamed over giving blowjobs. I've been sucking dick since I was nine; I knew that I should've felt great shame, guilt, and fear because feeling this way was being taught to me... but the reality of it all told me that being ashamed was stupid. Sucking dick is so damned good and satisfying and that's all one should be focused on - and not the fairy tale bullshit our morality has instilled and installed in all of us.

[tenni]

As I wrote earlier Guilt is from within each of us. Shame is when external forces of society , education, socialization .

How do you deal with guilt if it is overwhelm?

[KDaddy23]

tenni asked, "How do you deal with guilt if it is overwhelm?"

That's when you get professional help; otherwise, such great guilt could most likely "destroy" a person if left unresolved. Not everyone manages to parse all of this and see that, again, there's no reason for them to feel shame over something they enjoy doing - and that a lot of other men enjoy doing. But, yeah - if this feeling is that overwhelming, get help and don't hesitate to get it.

[tenni]

tenni asked, "How do you deal with guilt if it is overwhelm?"

That's when you get professional help; otherwise, such great guilt could most likely "destroy" a person if left unresolved. Not everyone manages to parse all of this and see that, again, there's no reason for them to feel shame over something they enjoy doing - and that a lot of other men enjoy doing. But, yeah - if this feeling is that overwhelming, get help and don't hesitate to get it.

Perhaps the word "overwhelm" is not the best word.

KD I disagree with some of your thoughts. Promiscuousity and its play in a role of my thoughts. If a bisexual is comfortable being promiscuous that is one position. When a bi person is comfortable with multi partners and praises the wonderful if anal sex and cock sucking I am not certain if I support these behaviours as positive bisexuality. Others may not.

I like the statement by Cat years ago. "I do not discuss my sexual behaviour unless we are going to actually have sex. "

Posting with a voice that sounds like a sex trade worker is not for me.

[darkeyes]

Perhaps the word "overwhelm" is not the best word.

KD I disagree with some of your thoughts. Promiscuousity and its play in a role of my thoughts. If a bisexual is comfortable being promiscuous that is one position. When a bi person is comfortable with multi partners and praises the wonderful if anal sex and cock sucking I am not certain if I support these behaviours as positive bisexuality. Others may not.

I like the statement by Cat years ago. "I do not discuss my sexual behaviour unless we are going to actually have sex. "

Posting with a voice that sounds like a sex trade worker is not for me. Are u criticising bisexuals for their promiscuous sexual activity?

[tenni]

Are u criticising bisexuals for their promiscuous sexual activity?

Im not sure but I read some posts that read promiscuous to me. Some that read as multiple partners that are kept in the dark or unknown. Multiple partners and all involved understand that it is multiple partners not secret and informed about multiple. There may be reasons why one are not informed. I do not support sex with minor and adult. It can be complicated.

If all/most of a person posts are same sex activitity and no discussion posting about opposite sex with little detail, that may more caution as to what is posted.

[KDaddy23]

Well, Tenni, I'm not surprised that you disagree - I expected you to and you didn't disappoint. If you don't support certain behaviors, you don't - but it doesn't invalidate those behaviors. If you don't like certain behaviors, then you just don't like them. Promiscuity has always been seen as a bad thing and... I loved being promiscuous and I'm still that way because I don't find anything wrong or bad about it but I have to be responsible for my actions - and I am. My response to your comment was based upon "overwhelm" - and I knocked you for not spelling the word correctly, by the way - sorry but it's a pet peeve of mine. Still, I've found that those who approach bisexuality by playing by the heteronormative rules that were imposed upon us tend to have a hard time understanding those of us who choose to not play by those rules. I don't and I have zero shame about it but, okay, if being monogamous in your bisexuality is what works for you, then it works - and I respect that.

I don't support sex between minors and adults either... but I know it happens and it's a part of the reality of things. Someone asked me why, in the blog I write, I didn't talk about sex with women and I appreciated that he called me out on that but I said that given that I'm bisexual - and I have written about sex with women and how my bisexuality gave me a bit of an "upper hand" - it's a given that I have sex with women but that's not what those who are curious about male bisexuality wants to know; they want to know why men are into sex with men and considering that it's still forbidden and I don't have a problem focusing on this and sharing what I've learned. But, okay - you want some opposite sex stuff with detail? I might entertain your request...

[tenni]

Well, Tenni, I'm not surprised that you disagree - I expected you to and you didn't disappoint. If you don't support certain behaviors, you don't - but it doesn't invalidate those behaviors. If you don't like certain behaviors, then you just don't like them. Promiscuity has always been seen as a bad thing and... I loved being promiscuous and I'm still that way because I don't find anything wrong or bad about it but I have to be responsible for my actions - and I am. My response to your comment was based upon "overwhelm" - and I knocked you for not spelling the word correctly, by the way - sorry but it's a pet peeve of mine. Still, I've found that those who approach bisexuality by playing by the heteronormative rules that were imposed upon us tend to have a hard time understanding those of us who choose to not play by those rules. I don't and I have zero shame about it but, okay, if being monogamous in your bisexuality is what works for you, then it works - and I respect that.

I don't support sex between minors and adults either... but I know it happens and it's a part of the reality of things. Someone asked me why, in the blog I write, I didn't talk about sex with women and I appreciated that he called me out on that but I said that given that I'm bisexual - and I have written about sex with women and how my bisexuality gave me a bit of an "upper hand" - it's a given that I have sex with women but that's not what those who are curious about male bisexuality wants to know; they want to know why men are into sex with men and considering that it's still forbidden and I don't have a problem focusing on this and sharing what I've learned. But, okay - you want some opposite sex stuff with detail? I might entertain your request...

KD Let me apologize for the spelling. I am having a few PC computer issues

As far as using hetero normative values I find it easier for newcomers to adapt to. Guilt is something that they may understand but as the OP posts confusing.
y
The issue of disclosure and to whom is a personal and anything emotional taboo for some bisexual men os not something that those men resist and deny anything involving emotional.

Some bisexuals have more close to gay values or appear to be on the surface. They are interested in the plumbing and how to explore it physically but not emotional. Shame comes in to play ...maybe?

Religon may come in to rule a bisexuals actions or not..

[Long Duck Dong]

Why am I ashamed that I like to give blowjobs

First I would ask if you can be more detailed.........saying you are ashamed but not how you feel, does not really say much....

I had a friend that told me he was ashamed about giving blowjobs

So I asked him how sucking cocks made him feel and he said he loved it, the taste, the feel, the cum, it felt so right.......but he always felt like he was something that he should not be, afterwards..... he was ashamed that he was no as * manly and straight * as he always imagined he would be, growing up..... turned out he was trying to emulate his father who he very much respected and looked up to.

His father was devoted to his mother for close to 50 years until he died and never expressed any interest in any other person.

So in the friends eyes, he was ashamed that he did not have the same qualities as his father, the love and devotion to one person.... that he was bisexual and would crave more than one person.
but not because he was bisexual and sucked cocks.

Yet anybody he mentioned that he was ashamed to, automatically blamed society, social norms, anti LGBT+ opinions, lack of acceptance, and even internalised biphobia.

SO yeah I would love to hear a little bit more about how you feel ashamed.....

[darkeyes]

First I would ask if you can be more detailed.........saying you are ashamed but not how you feel, does not really say much....

I had a friend that told me he was ashamed about giving blowjobs

So I asked him how sucking cocks made him feel and he said he loved it, the taste, the feel, the cum, it felt so right.......but he always felt like he was something that he should not be, afterwards..... he was ashamed that he was no as * manly and straight * as he always imagined he would be, growing up..... turned out he was trying to emulate his father who he very much respected and looked up to.

His father was devoted to his mother for close to 50 years until he died and never expressed any interest in any other person.

So in the friends eyes, he was ashamed that he did not have the same qualities as his father, the love and devotion to one person.... that he was bisexual and would crave more than one person.
but not because he was bisexual and sucked cocks.

Yet anybody he mentioned that he was ashamed to, automatically blamed society, social norms, anti LGBT+ opinions, lack of acceptance, and even internalised biphobia.

SO yeah I would love to hear a little bit more about how you feel ashamed..... No need for more detail whatever.. He tellsya what he feels.. Shame.. There are degrees of shame but do we need to rub it in?

[Long Duck Dong]

No need for more detail whatever.. He tellsya what he feels.. Shame.. There are degrees of shame but do we need to rub it in?

I would rather ask than just assume......cos assumptions are where people most often get shit wrong.

[KDaddy23]

Tenni, I'm just now seeing this but it doesn't surprise me that some bisexuals (1) lean more toward being homosexual and/or (2) they find the plumbing a lot more interesting than emotional content but even if they're interested in the plumbing, it doesn't discount the emotional side of things - but that's not usually how it goes and not all men are interesting in being in a "loving relationship" with a guy.

Religion does rule a bisexual's actions because it not only mandates monogamy, but homosexuality is also still a mortal sin and ditto for fornication. What bisexuals find is that, okay, these are the rules and everyone is expected to comply with them but, um, yeah, homosexuals don't and since same-sex interactions are implied by the word 'bisexual," it doesn't full conform to those rules when a guy who has been heterosexual finds that having sex with a guy... ain't all that bad and more so when you can have sex with a guy without having to be in a relationship with a guy... and a lot of us enjoy being able to have sex with as many men as we can manage to have sex with while others just want that one guy to do the deed with - and without having to give up their affinity for women. It's not men or women - its men and women. Kinda kicks heteronormative values to the curb because if you want both - and most bisexuals do - then... rules get broken and there can be guilt as a result of knowingly breaking those rules. Almost every male bisexual I know, including myself, had to deal with the conflict that comes when you're supposed to be females only and... that's not how you're feeling because you like guys, too. Uh-oh...

And the sure and certain fact that not everyone plays by the rules.

[Cforme]

I think the stigma of a guy being sexual with another guy, being called gay, is something that many guys who enjoy sex, have to deal with, and it hinders their personal joys. Even though most guys would welcome a blow job no matter what, they would have to hide the fact a guy gave it to him. Such personal confusion, and it builds up a hatred. Why these guys have to think if they arent being a real man, then they are less then. I hope every guy who loves giving a blowjob, enjoys sex with another guy, whatever, enjoy themselves and know they are among the many who really are true to themselves and enjoy sex, and all the joys that come with it. Think of it like this, you enjoy steak? but only eat sirloin or New York strip. Think of all the enjoyment youre missing out in by trying others! Steak is good!

my hope and advice is, do what makes you happy, what brings you enjoyment. Do the things that others wish they could do or admit to wanting to try. Married, single, closeted, no matter. We only live once but there are many joys to experience. You dont have to tell everyone your business, not a requirement at all. Thats why forums like this are around, so you can share with like minded people and know that your joys are shared by many!

[julyguybill]

Years back when i started enjoying oral sex with guys i felt shame . I was taught this is wrong. After a week or two i would go back again engage in oral sex or blowing a guy I always went back and even began sucking multiple guys in an outing when they were available. I finally came to realize i really liked giving oral sex so why should i be sorry or ashamed. This is who i am a guy who like sucking guys often .

[elian2]

Short answer: I don't think you should be embarrassed if men desperately want you to help them experience intense pleasure?

Long answer:

I really think it's due to the way people are socialized growing up.

Boys -- Show no emotion. Always be strong, always be brave, always be competitive, always be prepared ..

Girls -- A lot of those same attributes but also always be empathetic, caring, nurturing, always look "beautiful", always smile.

No human being can do that 24 hours a day, 7 days a week -- but that's what we model for people growing up, and it's reinforced by the various institutions in our society. Those institutions are run by human beings; what people admit to in public, and what they enjoy in private seem to be two different things.

I remember the first time I admitted I liked being feminine (especially when I was young and passable) -- I was telling my story to a good friend and it was like giving a confession, my voice shuddered and I felt genuine shame about it.

The movie "For the Bible Tells Me So" has a great line where the minister Eugene Robinson talks about patriarchy and says, "The worst thing you can do to a man is to treat him like a woman." (Makes me think we ought to treat women better eh?)

The idea that a male would give up so called "power and control" and choose to be "dominated" by another male rubs some traditional minded people the wrong way. Like how some people think "it's okay" as long as you are the one doing the fucking right?

But ask yourself this -- who is really in control during oral sex? The person receiving the sex is in a very vulnerable position.

The reality of human sexuality IS diverse. We all have a full range of emotions and the happiest I've ever been is when I decided to STOP trying to label myself.

I reached a point in my life where I decided I could either be miserable trying to be what I thought everyone else wanted me to be, or I could be my own self and be happy.

At one point I remember going around calling myself "damaged goods" After about 30 years of reading, studying, introspection, praying, sharing experiences and learning from others I was finally able to integrate the feminine and masculine aspects of myself together. I went away on vacation and couldn't masturbate for two weeks, I came back home and one more time I denied myself -- all that energy that would normally go out went inward instead and I was able to have a tantric experience.

It felt awesome to be connected to all that is -- to nuzzle the energy rather than the physical. To express gratitude and feel love in return -- to feel playful joy at my male side, rather than shame. The feeling of being whole, powerful, connected was amazing -- it took all of my willpower to tame my ego. (It really was better than an orgasm).

The weight, density and confusion of the physical realm eventually came back of course. The experience has since dulled, but any time I start to feel negative feelings like I'm not "good enough" or shame over something as fundamental as who I love, who I am attracted to I think back to that memory.

We are all connected way more than most people want to admit, one part of an interdependent web of life -- your actions ripple out and affect everything around you.

You are just as worthy of love and respect as any other part of creation, and it's a natural thing to want to feel good and share pleasure. That IS your true nature.

As long as it's not interfering with your ability to have a daily routine in life, you are treating people respectfully, you aren't putting yourself or others in danger than it's no one else's business.

[Luv3wayfun]

Definitely some good advice in here. I went through a lot of emotional turmoil myself at first. I was 18 and still in high school the first time I had sex with another man it was the first time Id had sex with anyone, it was actually the first time I had another mans dick in my mouth and my ass. I had been able to get half the head of my own dick in my mouth since I was fifteen which just made me wonder what it would be like to have a whole one. That first guy was not interested in oral, he just wanted to screw me and it was very unfulfilling from what I had envisioned.
The next school day I had chemistry for my first class and it felt like I had GAY COCKSUCKER tattooed across my forehead and everybody knew it!
That first being not very satisfying so I tried again after awhile and ended up in a MMM 3 way that was REALLY HOT! I?m 69ing one guy while the other one was screwing me, I barely felt that other guy because there was this beautiful 7 inch cock I was rubbing on my face and sucking as far as I could get him down my throat. Then his cockhead started swelling and his balls tightened up then he started spurting cum in my mouth. I just started swallowing as fast as I could. Then since I hadn?t cum yet they double teamed on my dick until I blew my load int the guys mouth that id sucked. That still gets me horny today, 48 years later.
Then I finally had sex with girls, discovered I liked that too! I tried to deny my bi side, I found out THAT DOES NOT WORK.
So, over the last 48 years I?ve probably sucked about 30 cocks. I?m finally able to realize and come to terms with the fact that even though I enjoy pussy I really like sucking cock too.
I finally explained it to my oldest sister that if all the men in the world disappeared and all I had was pussy could I be truly happy? No.
If all the women in the world disappeared and all I had left was men could I be happy?
Truthfully I would have to answer Yes. So I guess that puts me at about a 3.5 - 3.75 on that Kinsey scale.
Something is so erotic to me to see and feel that nice hard cock slipping in between my lips and tasting that sweet salty precum gets me hard just thinking about it.
I?m truly wish I hadn?t wasted so much energy trying to beat myself up for something that is so enjoyable and pleasurable for both parties. That truly is just a waste of energy and not at all healthy.

[KDaddy23]

Luv3wayfun said, "I?m truly wish I hadn?t wasted so much energy trying to beat myself up for something that is so enjoyable and pleasurable for both parties. That truly is just a waste of energy and not at all healthy."

I've known so many guys who've done just that and while many realized, as you did, that it doesn't make sense to kick your own ass, many others continued to beat themselves up because they did it, enjoyed it, then tried to convince themselves that they don't. Or, yeah, that first time wasn't as mind-blowingly spectacular as they may have expected and now, it's ass-kicking time and, yup, some have said that they felt like they had "gay cocksucker" plastered all over them for all to see. With some of these guys, I was the second guy they had sex with... but not before I did my best to get this self-defeating crap out of their head and pointing out to them that the reason why they feel this way isn't really their fault; it's our society's prudish stance on M2M sex that puts those feelings of shame into our heads first and foremost. There are guys who'll have sex with you who won't have your best interests in mind or care about making it good for you - and that can have a major impact on a guy and have him wallowing in shame and regret and, yeah, sorry that happened but if you want to experience and enjoy sex with a man again, you have to put that behind you - and a lot of guys can't seem to do that.

Acting like it never happened doesn't work; trying to continually deny that you didn't like any of it doesn't work; when you know that you're bi - and you sure as hell know that you are - once the toothpaste is out of the tube, you can't put it back so being in denial... doesn't work. As I've said, I've never felt guilt or shame or been in denial because I realized early on that it doesn't make sense to feel this way about something that I wanted to do​. And it's so good, too...

[Luv3wayfun]

KDaddy23 you are definitely right on with that advice, admitting to myself that I really do love sucking on a cock (which you can see from a picture taken August 29, 2023) that I was really enjoying it.
So much so that I did put 4 pictures (1st and last of him and I) two middle dick pics are of just me.
Maybe one day I?ll unblock my face, if somebody asks me to personally I probably would but not on a public forum.

[jjourneyman]

Why am I ashamed that I like to give blowjobs

Shame is an emotion that you have to deal with. I remember my first time, I went home and thought about what I had just done. I had sucked another man's penis and let him cum in my mouth and had swallowed it. A million and one things run through your mind at those moments, but later that evening, I thought.. what's the harm? I wasn't coerced, it was m choice, and more importantly, we both enjoyed it. So much so, I went back the next day for more on my own.

That next day, I let him fuck me. I came so hard during that encounter! Again, as I rode home on my bike with his cum leaking out of me, I thought, OMG, everyone is going to know. But no one was the wiser. I didn't walk or talk any differently. Nothing had changed except that I had found a new way of experiencing and giving pleasure.

Bottom line... there is no shame unless you make it shameful to yourself. Otherwise it's just really good sex!

[phalluster]

I think the distinction between shame and guilt is important. No one should feel shame for their sexual desire, or for who they choose to have sex with, or what kind of sex they have as long as both are consenting adults.
Where it gets more complicated is when you want to suck cock but are in a monogamous relationship with someone who would not be accepting. Then sucking cock outside of the relationship becomes a reason to feel guilt. My way of dealing with that guilt has been by not hooking up with men to suck their cocks, despite my strong desire to do it.

[loves oral]

Interesting subject. My first time was with a couple friends that had done it for the first time the night before. The first thing that was said was "you can't tell anyone else". After that we had a really great time sucking each other in different positions. I pretty much immediately knew I loved the feeling of a cock in my mouth, that contrast between velvety soft and rock hard, the smell, the taste. Unfortunately it was a one time thing. I knew I wanted more but there was always the holding back of not wanting to seem to like it too much. After working through some awkwardness I was able to get to what I now know was a feeder/FWB relationship with one of the guys. It worked out great, he loved having his cock sucked and I loved sucking it. When he ended it I thought that was the end of sucking cock. I had a girlfriend and enjoyed sex with her.

I didn't know how to approach a guy to see if he was interested in having his cock sucked, but coming out of a XXX theater a guy asked if I was interested in fooling around. My automatic thought was no, but then after thinking about it for a minute I said yes. It turned out to be a one time thing with him but opened me up to the realization that I enjoyed sucking cock and it wasn't just a thing with my buddy. There was still the thought that I can't tell anyone, but now I had the desire to find a cock to suck. Not long after that I discovered the arcades but the hole in the wall confused me, why would some guy want to watch me jack off? (I'm really na?ve) It didn't take long and I discovered what they were for. Part of me thought it was great, I could find a cock to suck whenever I wanted, part of me wanted to find a FWB and have a more relaxed time. But the fact that the gloryhole was anonymous was really appealing, I was still worried someone would find out. I had a several girlfriends through this time and enjoyed the M/F sex. With AIDS the arcade booths closed or changed, attitudes changed and I got married and again thought sucking cock would be a thing of the past.

Then came the internet. M/M porn never really did anything for me, but I found the gay/bi chat rooms and found people like me. That I could talk to and understood me and I understood them. Then I found guy with similar interests to meet up with. It doesn't happen often, if I don't think there's a potential for a FWB relationship I don't bother. Most have been one time things but I'm still open to the idea of a FWB.

I think the difference in my thoughts now is fear and shame have been replaced with It's my personal business.

[ac9803]

DO NOT BE ASHAMED! i know that it's easy to say and much harder to do, but when I accepted that I'm bi, that it's not my fault that I am what I am, life really got easier.
I'm a very masculine dude, no one suspects that I love to suck cock! I would love to let the world know, but after so many years of building a life as a straight guy, it would really cause more problems than it would solve.
I just wish that I had understood and accepted it in my early 20s instead of my 40s!
You haven't done anything wrong and you have nothing to be ashamed of.

[hazelcd]

Never be ashamed of what you do xxxx

[Rest85]

its a weird mix of shame and being turned on by the taboo aspect of it for me.

I feel the same and I like that mix. It's a turn on to be naughty and kinky and slutty. I attach all those things to the idea of pleasuring another man's cock. Submissiveness is another word that applies to my desires. I know not everyone feels that same way, but it's what works for me.