Confused very confused

[Tight1-4u]

so I have mentioned a time or two that I was married a couple times.. my second ex knew all about me.. she is bi as well.. she had trouble dealing with the fact that we both chased cock.. some how she couldn?t handle it!!
anyway that was that.. not to mention the fact that the guy she was seeing at the time was someone I had been with quite a bit.. when she found out and confronted me about it I was honest with her and also warned her about him.. I told her what a control freak he was.. that?s why I quite seeing him..
I have also mentioned that I am ex military.. I will just say that I was part of the military that don?t get talked about..
at some point my son told me that this guy had been putting his hands on his mother and not in a nice way.. let?s just say I paid him a visit and explained things to him.. he very soon was out of the picture.. like within a week he moved out of state..
so over the years her and I have gotten past the hard feelings and things said.. we have been civil and even friendly.. have flirted a bit but that is as far as things have gone..
this past Friday I had scheduled 3 of my guys to visit me.. I was going through my routine of getting ready for them.. cleaned myself out quite deeply.. knowing that I would really only have time for a quick douche between.. I showered, shaved everything.. oiled everything.. was just kinda slowly preparing for the first one to get there.. there was a knock at my door.. now knowing that it was probably my first guy I went to the door and ask who was there.. I got no answer.. being that I usually answer the door naked for my guys I just opened the door.. there stood my ex!!! She smiled and said hi did you know I was coming?? I told her that I had just got out of the shower..
now let me tell you about her.. she is extremely sexy.. she stands 5?6? has 34dd breasts, is very well kept.. she has long legs and over the shoulder black hair.. she was wearing what appeared to be a mans long sleeve button down shirt.. with a gold colored chain belt.. black thigh high stockings with garter straps running to them..
as she walked in she kinda reached down and touched my cock, then turned and brushed agents it with her hip and ass.. I felt my cock twitch and start to come to life.. I excuse my self to go get dressed and she said there was no need.. she turned to me and just reached out and took ahold of my cock.. she pulled me to her and kissed me very deeply.. started stroking my cock.. the next thing I know we are on the couch and she was on her back and I am between her spread legs.. her shirt came off and she was naked except for her garter and stockings.. my cock was rock hard and she was squirming to get it in her.. my mind wanted nothing more than to wreck her.. but I held back and got up and found my phone and sent a quick txt to my guys and told them not today.. then I took her by the hand to my bed.. I tore that shit up for most of the night.. then half the next day.. now she is telling me that she found out what I did with that guy years ago and now realizes how much I mean to her and she wants to be in my life again..
now I kinda feel guilty.. I have Dan in my life.. and I care for him a lot.. I have had sex with my ex!! I think I still care for her too.. fuck I am so confused right now.. she is supposed to be here in about an hour.. she wants to spend the night again.. what do I do?? Why dose life have to be so confusing??

[Long Duck Dong]

lol Some feelings never die, they just fade into the background and we realise that the feelings are still there, years later......

I have feelings for some of my exs and we dated 30 years ago......some people are like that while others will shut a person out of their lives when it does not work out.....and sometimes people are not able to deal with things that they find out, and realise years later that it was not really that big a deal and maybe they were a fool to leave......

Personally I would talk with her about things, and ask her is she just there for the sex and the overnight stays.... because you still have feelings for her but you also have a life and a sex life, and dan.......and yeah how is dan going to react?


My gut instinct says that your ex wants to talk with you, and sex is a easy way to get close to you....cos sex is easier than talking.......tho what she may want to talk about, is anybodies guess.....and so a overnight stay may not be all about the sex, but a need to talk with you about things......

Also, another thing, she is your ex, but she is still a person that enjoys good sex with you, the fact that you two were together in the past, does not mean that you did anything wrong by having sex with her, unless there is some * law * that says thou shalt not fuck thy ex......

Times have changed, she may be more accepting and understanding of your love of cock, and realised that your love of cock does not stop you loving a partner or caring about an ex.......and its also possible that she realises that she still cares about you as a person, rather than a ex, and your love of cock is part of whom you are.......
Maybe she is wanting a casual friends with benefits situation with you, somebody she cares about and trusts......

It really comes down to you talking with her, and talking with dan.......and seeing how things play out.......

Honestly in my past, I never thought I would end up in a closed group with my partner ( whom I had feelings for, for 3 decades and never acted on ) two other females and another guy.... but it worked out in everybodies favour because thats what they wanted as well.......and its all balanced out......I have my partner ( who is also in a relationship with my sister ) and friends with benefits.. and that works for me, but I would struggle with a poly relationship with more than one partner, its just not in my nature, so I have only one partner.....

[Neonaught]

I suspect she's just using sex to manipulate you. I'd assume by now you would still be with her if there was anything worth salvaging in the relationship. Beware the Chaos Woman! In the long run, that is all you get from them: chaos. And they thrive on it!

[KDaddy23]

Ex sex is... kinda weird. I know that if my ex were to stop by out of the blue and she wanted to have sex with me, I'd do her... but I'd be suspicious, too. I've heard so much about leaving someone and the "rule" is that other than maybe seeing each other in public, whatever you used to have with each other is over and done with and there's no going back. Ah, but I've either been dumped or left a woman - amicably or otherwise - and I've had ex sex with them and when I've asked them why, most of them said that I was... better at pleasing them than the guys who came after me and they realized that the thing that broke us up wasn't an inability to have sex and please each other.

"You're good in bed - what other reason do I need?" was a question one ex had asked me and... okay, might be a trap but the best way to know that is to "spring" the trap. No traps sprung but it just adds to my opinion that women are inherently insane but they do know who can rock their boat and if it's an ex, well, why not? It can be quite confusing and more so since you have Dan in your life - and I do hope that he understands things, which, to me, is the bigger problem that might come up. I'd tell you to not be confused by this but, yeah, it's confusing and just... go with it and try not to read anything into what happened... but ask her why just the same. Wanting to be back in your life? Yeah, been there, too, but now it's a question of... do you want her back in your life? Is that gonna fly with Dan? This is where you make it a point to have some very open dialogs and do not fear a poly kind of situation.

[Tight1-4u]

update: there have been some very serious conversations around here lately.. first off Dan: I and he have a very special relationship.. I care very much for him.. I don’t ever want to loose him.. not just for the sex but we are I believe soulmates.. beyond sex.. I told him about my ex and that she wants back into my life.. he was very understanding and just said he wants me to be happy.. I ask how he felt about both of them being in my life.. he said he is ok with it.. that he shared me with the other guys why would she be any different.. I love this guy!!!
My ex: as we laid in bed the other night we discussed us.. I explained to her again that I am bi.. that I do regularly have sex with men.. that it would not change!! She said I know.. she also said that she was wrong back then to expect me to change.. she said that she now knows there is no way that would have ever worked.. I told her about Dan.. I told her that I love him.. I also told her that I still love her.. she I think really loves me.. she said that all she really wants is that when we are together to be just her and I.. keep things simple.. so for now I guess they are sharing me.. I know one thing that for the past few years of her being lesbian has really stepped up her strap on game.. how could I be so lucky???

[tenni]

I'm happy for you tight. I hope that this bisexual arrangement works for all of you.

[Jazminedress]

I will offer a hopeful optimistic................but , as I have seen with many ex getting back together, protect yourself mentally. You know how we prepared in the military, we always had a little extra to make sure we came out of everything okay.

On a good front, 2 friends, who had 3 marriages each, ended up remarrying their first wives and have been happy for the past 15 and 20 years

[Long Duck Dong]

update: there have been some very serious conversations around here lately.. first off Dan: I and he have a very special relationship.. I care very much for him.. I don’t ever want to loose him.. not just for the sex but we are I believe soulmates.. beyond sex.. I told him about my ex and that she wants back into my life.. he was very understanding and just said he wants me to be happy.. I ask how he felt about both of them being in my life.. he said he is ok with it.. that he shared me with the other guys why would she be any different.. I love this guy!!!
My ex: as we laid in bed the other night we discussed us.. I explained to her again that I am bi.. that I do regularly have sex with men.. that it would not change!! She said I know.. she also said that she was wrong back then to expect me to change.. she said that she now knows there is no way that would have ever worked.. I told her about Dan.. I told her that I love him.. I also told her that I still love her.. she I think really loves me.. she said that all she really wants is that when we are together to be just her and I.. keep things simple.. so for now I guess they are sharing me.. I know one thing that for the past few years of her being lesbian has really stepped up her strap on game.. how could I be so lucky???

how could you be so lucky ???? because you are a great kinda of guy, you were open and honest, and you also have good people in your life......

I had feelings for my partner, for about 3 decades, but never acted on them because of issues in myself......30 years she patiently lived her own life, while having the same feelings.... and waited until the time was right.....

While I could have said I should have been honest with her years ago, the truth is if we had got to together years ago, it would have ended badly because of me. Ironically she said that she was also not ready for many years, she had her own issues to deal with, and that would have affected us both.......

Sometimes its the right people, wrong timing.....and years later it may be the right time for both......

I wish you, dan and your partner all the best.... and may you continue to enjoy the sex you love.....