women's veiw point:M2M sex,married or other wise?

[josbo67]

It's hard enough to get along in this world without the use of demeaning labels. Being a married white male, I knew of my desires long before I ever got married. Supression and wishing didn't make it go away. The predjuiced I experienced from people who live "alternitivly" was an eye opener. But what intrigues me the most is a general consensus among women that watching or engaging in M2M sex, is not sexually acceptable. Is this a double standard? Men generally will accept the idea of two women engaged in sex together. Is it my lack of vision for not seeing these women? Any input would be great.

[gayle]

There are a couple of things you need to keep in mind here. (1) Men are visually stimulated and it is not uncommon to hear of men who want to watch two women having sex. (2) Women tend to be emotional and not nearly as visually stimulated as men, therefore we do not generally crave watching two men engaged in sex. Our brains are wired differently than men's. Try not to think of this as a prejudice on the part of women. We are simply different from men, not only physically, but mentally and emotionally. We think differently and we feel differently. Some women do enjoy watching men having sex. Some men don't enjoy watching two women have sex. Try to appreciate the differences between women and men, it's not just physical.

[arana]

I agree with what Gayle said. We are different from men, otherwise they'd understand us and we them. There are exceptions to that rule just as with anything. For example I think I am one of the very few that has a straight husband that isn't into watching anyone of the same sex together, be it men OR women. I, on the other hand, enjoy it very much.

There are also people who probably won't admit that 2 men together are a turn on because they are brainwashed that it is not acceptable and are afraid to go against the grain. With all the open minded people that I meet at this site, and all the narrow minded ones I come across in everyday life, I tend to believe this has to be true to some extent.

[josbo67]

thanks for your input it does make better sense now. This being a delicate topic, it's not one I can bring up at the dinner table and definitly one I can't bring up to my wife(too bad).

[Lisa (va)]

I also agree, i would much rather be a participant than a watcher, whether it be two people, a MFM or a FMF. I have always contended that a persons gender is secondary to the feelings for the person. Same could be true for threesomes, if ALL don't enjoy each other, what's the point? But all folks are different, what works for one may not for the other.

Lisa
hugs n kisses

[Shiraz]

I'm a fortysomething married bisexual female and sorry I don't agree with the points of view that most women don't find male-male sex a turn on.

I have certainly read plenty of posts in threads on www.literotica.com that contradict this. Yes, there are women around who get turned on by the idea of MMF. I was lucky enough to have an MMF threesome three times and they were great experiences, especially because I had known the men for years so it was really very laid back.

My take on this is that bi/straight women in relationships who have the fantasy of watching man to man sex may have straight partners who aren't interested. Anal penetration can be painful if not done right and I guess many men have a fear about this.

[Bigc69]

I am a manle and once had a FMF3some. the ladies were bi and very active. For me , in every direction there was someone to touch and I was being touched every minute. I have never had a MFM 3some, but I can't imagine it would be much different. The resoning is that is is sex and sensuality and no thoughts of who or what gender you are with. It is a freedom you don't get with one on one where pleasing your partner is a responsibility.

[mike9753]

I'm a fortysomething married bisexual female and sorry I don't agree with the points of view that most women don't find male-male sex a turn on.

I have certainly read plenty of posts in threads on www.literotica.com that contradict this. Yes, there are women around who get turned on by the idea of MMF. I was lucky enough to have an MMF threesome three times and they were great experiences, especially because I had known the men for years so it was really very laid back.

My take on this is that bi/straight women in relationships who have the fantasy of watching man to man sex may have straight partners who aren't interested. Anal penetration can be painful if not done right and I guess many men have a fear about this.

Shiraz:

I too have read, with a great deal of delight I might add, of the posts on Literotica that certainly do suggest that there are women who do find M2M sexual activity arousing. :) However, you have to remember that these women have self selected themselves to participate on Literotica then on these particular forums. Women in the main stream - and that may certainly be the majority of the fair sex, are not open minded enough, brave enough, smart enough to even consider joining a website like ours or like Literotica. And there may be a significant number - perhaps most, who are just not interested. They are entitled to their own views, as we are to ours.

I would also agree 100% with Gayle. Men are visually stimulated. Women less so. Women are more emotional about intimacy, men less so. While these are not universally true stereotypes, they are more true than not. :bigrin:

While magazines like Playboy and Penthouse were popular (before the widespread use of the Internet as a source of soft porn) the majority of the readers were men. Playgirl never did reach the popularity among women and the men's magazines reached - never even came close.:rotate:

Look at lingerie. Who is it really for? Men! :bigrin: :tongue: I think women love to dress in sexy lingerie, but most do it for their lover. Many would probably prefer flannel night gowns for warmth and comfort. High heels - are they for women or men? What woman in her right mind would wear 2 or 3 inch heels for themselves - if they were at home with no man around or no other woman to compete with. :rotate: I maybe guessing here, and I am sure I'll get an argument from some - but my point is that men like to be, no need to be visually stimulated. It is not the same for women.

Other thoughts??

Mike

[Shiraz]

I wonder how much of that need for an emotional connection during sex that women often have, is actually social conditioning. Gals, you know the stuff mothers mete out.. "Boys are only after one thing", "Good girls don't", "Sex is better when you're In Love".. I suspect that the stuff the males get is perhaps more concerned with the contraception angle ie " Make sure you wear a condom, son"

?????????????

[SweetBlackAngel]

I wonder how much of that need for an emotional connection during sex that women often have, is actually social conditioning. Gals, you know the stuff mothers mete out.. "Boys are only after one thing", "Good girls don't", "Sex is better when you're In Love".. I suspect that the stuff the males get is perhaps more concerned with the contraception angle ie " Make sure you wear a condom, son"

?????????????

That's a great point. I would also wonder how many women (and men) are even aware of that conditioning. How different the world could be if we woke up from our cultural programming trance. :flag2:

[Lorcan]

I love to watch my husband make love to another man.
I am very visual. I sometimes dont think in words, just pictures.
I think i had too much testosterone in the womb :-)

[jazzer]

My wife is really turned on by male to male oral sex and male to male contact. Most men visually lust afer the idea of seeing two women together, but suggest to them that some woman would get the same stimulation from two men together and they are horrified.
Whether it is conditioning within the family or society or whatever, they should react the same to men together as they would to women together. A pathetic, patronising double standard on the part of many men and they should be ashamed of their gender bias. :2cents:

[mike9753]

In my view of things, in a perfect world we ALL would get turned on by seeing or reading or hearing about two people (gender not important) who are turning each other on by whatever means. The fact that they were engaged in an activity that brought them pleasure would be the catalyst to the observer's arousal.

Therefore that would include women watching a M2M sexual encounter, if the participants were having a good (sexual) time.
Mike

[BiCpl69]

I love watching my hubby have sex with a man and I love MMF 3somes if both men are bisexual. I guess I may be atypical, but it drives me crazy! I have my best orgasms in MMF 3somes.

[light_of_sorrow]

i think there are actually lots of reasons for the existing double standard - but do i believe it's cultural programming? you bet i do.

what about Japan? there's a country in which a huge amount of erotic/pornographic novels and comic books, created by women, for women, but featuring male/male sexual encounters, are sold.

but let's look at the interesting standards we place upon sexuality. ever been in a store that sells/rents porn? you see that movie with the obligatory female/female scene surrounded by mostly female/male scenes?

that kind of thing is easily found in the 'straight' video section.

yet if the video featured a scene with two men gettin it on in a movie featuring mostly straight scenes, you'd find that in the 'bisexual' aisle.

amazing double standard, isn't it?

our culture sends us the message every day that it's male sexuality that matters, and that women's sexuality really only matters within the context of male participation or a male observer...

i think this is the root of a lot of homophobia - the notion that women are the 'passive' participants in sexuality and men are therefore the 'active' participants - and the homophobia comes from men being heavily conditioned to fear being 'passive'.

it also explains why men are considered 'studs' and women 'sluts' for being promiscuous - because people think there's something wrong with 'active' female participation in sex if it interferes with the man's ability to turn sex into conquest - once it's no longer conquest, no longer a challenge, or worse, once the woman becomes the conqueror, it's damaging to the stability of the fragile pedestal that men have elevated themselves upon over thousands of years.

and that, ladies, gentlemen, and everyone in between, is a good thing.

:flag3: