Writing a profile for a hook-up

[dowmass]

I realise there are many variables which will decide if I get responses to an online post. There?s age, body type, and many more factors.

That said, from your experience are there ??Do?s & dont?s? to follow when drafting the matter for a post?

I ask because I hardly or sometimes get no replies to my posts on DL. I write posts that have all the information one would need . This includes age, location (Dallas TX) my race, orientation (total bottom) body type, weight, what i would do in bed and marital status. I even mention my ED because I want to be upfront.

What could I be doing wrong?

[Willlburrr]

I feel your pain as I'm in the same situation. When I get a reply to my post on DL the guy turns out to be nuts and I'm not getting involved with a nut job. I tell them I'm not meeting NOW or TODAY and when you tell them you want to meet before going forward it's like you ask for the impossible. I tell them discreet, safe and sane and next thing they ask is "are you into car play?". LOL.. I'm pretty sure that's not being discreet. I will see where this goes but I certainly didn't think meeting the right guy for this would be such an ordeal, then again maybe that's a good thing. If anyone has any advice, suggestions, or ideas I'm listening too.

[bikurinpa]

I feel your pain as I'm in the same situation. When I get a reply to my post on DL the guy turns out to be nuts and I'm not getting involved with a nut job. I tell them I'm not meeting NOW or TODAY and when you tell them you want to meet before going forward it's like you ask for the impossible. I tell them discreet, safe and sane and next thing they ask is "are you into car play?". LOL.. I'm pretty sure that's not being discreet. I will see where this goes but I certainly didn't think meeting the right guy for this would be such an ordeal, then again maybe that's a good thing. If anyone has any advice, suggestions, or ideas I'm listening too.

Finding anyone who is decent and does not want just a for right now is about the odds of 1 in a 1,000,000!

[KDaddy23]

You're probably not doing anything wrong; depending on how other people read, you could be giving TMI, not enough information; hosting is a very big deal and something guys are looking for since chances are that they can't host - being able to host could attract a lot of attention. You want to keep it short, sweet, and to the point but no matter what you write or how you do it, guys are looking for specific guys and, well, you're just not going to be someone's cup of tea - hosting notwithstanding. All you can do is dangle the bait and see if you get nibbles...

[dowmass]

You're probably not doing anything wrong; depending on how other people read, you could be giving TMI, not enough information; hosting is a very big deal and something guys are looking for since chances are that they can't host - being able to host could attract a lot of attention. You want to keep it short, sweet, and to the point but no matter what you write or how you do it, guys are looking for specific guys and, well, you're just not going to be someone's cup of tea - hosting notwithstanding. All you can do is dangle the bait and see if you get nibbles...


I?ll take TMI to be ?too much information?. Probably you are right. My posts are very detailed. Maybe in my anxiety to be upfront, I am writing too much. Maybe, people don?t have the patience to read itr it?s too wordy. Maybe that's too much to digest for many. Maybe I need to work on this?

i cannot host . Yes that?s huge drawback , but there?s little I can do about it. Thanks!!

[Willlburrr]

You're probably not doing anything wrong; depending on how other people read, you could be giving TMI, not enough information; hosting is a very big deal and something guys are looking for since chances are that they can't host - being able to host could attract a lot of attention. You want to keep it short, sweet, and to the point but no matter what you write or how you do it, guys are looking for specific guys and, well, you're just not going to be someone's cup of tea - hosting notwithstanding. All you can do is dangle the bait and see if you get nibbles...


TMI is a maybe, you are correct about hosting but if two married guys can't figure out a solution to that then shame on them. Seems for me once contact is initiated I might be giving TMI but I'd rather be open and honest upfront before I meet you than to not be open about me. I'm asking you to meet me at a neutral location with no expectations beyond a meet and greet get to put a face to the emails and see if you want to move forward but once I mention that...silence, no more emails. Someone out their has to understand that and have no problem with that.

[Willlburrr]

Finding anyone who is decent and does not want just a for right now is about the odds of 1 in a 1,000,000!


The way I feel right now is I had better odds on the Powerball I just lost out on the other day :bigrin:

[KDaddy23]

Yes - honesty is the best policy and I agree: If two grown-assed men can't figure out how to get this done, they need their asses kicked. It's better to give other a chance to make an informed decision and, of course, to be able to make one yourself and it begins with the profile or ad and, really, it's not your fault that there are men out there who let their fears make decisions for them instead of putting their heads together and doing something as simple as picking a hotel or motel so they can do what they need to do. I've even agreed to pay for the room - it's not that difficult and, yeah, cash is untraceable. Just saying.

You put yourself out there in the way you need to and... you wait. It's like fishing and very much why fishing isn't called catching.

[dowmass]

Yes - honesty is the best policy and I agree: If two grown-assed men can't figure out how to get this done, they need their asses kicked. It's better to give other a chance to make an informed decision and, of course, to be able to make one yourself and it begins with the profile or ad and, really, it's not your fault that there are men out there who let their fears make decisions for them instead of putting their heads together and doing something as simple as picking a hotel or motel so they can do what they need to do. I've even agreed to pay for the room - it's not that difficult and, yeah, cash is untraceable. Just saying.

You put yourself out there in the way you need to and... you wait. It's like fishing and very much why fishing isn't called catching.


Maybe writing about my ED is putting off people?
I thought that for a top, it?s my tight ass that matters, right?
one should focus on? Besides i thought there was no harm in writing about it.

[csreef]

I hate to be "Debbie Downer", but basically, it's just a numbers game when trying to meet people online.

[Long Duck Dong]

Maybe writing about my ED is putting off people?
I thought that for a top, it?s my tight ass that matters, right?
one should focus on? Besides i thought there was no harm in writing about it.

Sometimes its not what you say or do not say, its the energy in what you have written.......ever notice how some posts just have a feel to them that attracts you or repels you without actually reading the words ???? In the past when I briefly used apps like grindr or sites like ladsonly, I would often not read the profile, just the short caption and go by the energy I felt off that.......

Personally I would not find the statement of ED off putting, as you are looking to be a bottom......tho some people are into sucking cock and topping / bottoming so the ED part may turn them off...

And yes some people do not want details, just sex.....and as Kdaddy says, its called fishing for a reason, and it may just be the wrong pond to fish in ( wrong site )

[Willlburrr]

Yes - honesty is the best policy and I agree: If two grown-assed men can't figure out how to get this done, they need their asses kicked. It's better to give other a chance to make an informed decision and, of course, to be able to make one yourself and it begins with the profile or ad and, really, it's not your fault that there are men out there who let their fears make decisions for them instead of putting their heads together and doing something as simple as picking a hotel or motel so they can do what they need to do. I've even agreed to pay for the room - it's not that difficult and, yeah, cash is untraceable. Just saying.

You put yourself out there in the way you need to and... you wait. It's like fishing and very much why fishing isn't called catching.


I think I've written my ad as honestly and as open as i can be, I should also be thinking "fishing not catching" and the right guy might take some time to come along. I insist on meeting somewhere neutral the first time, a meet and greet and shoot the bull. If you turn me down on that request then this is not going to work. This helps weed out the wackos and nut jobs. We'll see what happens as I'm getting replies to my post, so far only nibbles but will post when I set the hook....LOL

[KDaddy23]

@dowmass, anything can be a deal breaker. I read your ad, see that you say you have ED, and I wouldn't DQ you because of that... but someone else might. You're trying to attract an audience into bed who isn't as like-minded as they're believed to be. You write your ads the way you feel you need to and... you wait. And wait some more. Where you live could play into a lack of nibbles because some guys aren't of a mind to "shit where they eat;" you can see an ad from a top who also lives in Dallas and... nothing coming from him. Too close to home which equates to too much of a chance of getting outed or, gasp, caught in the act. Some see you location and you're "too far" for them; a top in Fort Worth or Arlington might decide that it's not worth trying to get to someone in Dallas.

Anything can be a reason why you're not getting any nibbles. You make sure that you convey the information you need to and... you wait. This is the hardest part of trying to get the dick you need.