Aftter 18 Years

[grover]

Finally, after 18 years of seeing just women, I had sex with a man last night. I met him on plenty of fish. It was unsatisfactory for both of us. Both of us started hard but quickly lost it. I have experienced this more and more as I have aged. If there is a second time, it will be different. It's nerves. Something I never had a problem with when I was younger but as so many things have changed as I have aged. Both of us lost our hard ons. Now I know you can have a good time without a hard on. I sucked and rimmed and fingered him to no avail. He did his best to suck me hard but I could tell without an erection he didn't have any real interest. I should have hopped on that cock while it was hard. He was a newbie when it came to bisexuality and needed more teaching than we had time for last night. I do not know if there will be a second time. I fucked myself with a dildo and did my best to get off after he left, nah. Nothing happened. It means I am going to be horny as all hell all day today.

[KDaddy23]

A bad case of nerves has ruined many an encounter. I always get nervous before the fact so while I'm on my way to him or I'm waiting for him, I take that time to get my nervousness in check. If he's the one with a bad case of nervousness, I try to get him to just relax by talking to him about anything other than what we're going to try to do while assuring him that being nervous is pretty normal so don't fret about it. Yeah, sometimes, both of us will lose our erections but I'll suggest that we just... chill. Take some nice, deep breaths and relax for a few minutes - and that works when we both have the time to take things a bit slower. Anxiety is a major buzzkill and once one gets very anxious, getting an erection is almost impossible until the anxiety is dealt with. Then, since this tends to add on the anxiety of not being able to perform, well, things can go downhill pretty quickly but I learned that sucking on a soft cock is quite pleasurable and I've told guys to not think or worry about getting hard and just focus on being sucked despite being soft. This has gotten some guys to relax, the nervousness/anxiety passes and he gets hard - and then it's on for real!

It's just something that happens. While being nervous and anxious is normal, I think a lot of guys get too much in their head about things and if they do, nothing is going to get them hard and it can have the added effect of not allowing you to get hard and usually, I think, because you can feel his nervousness right along with your own nervousness. When I've experienced this, I never think about there not being a next time because that could be different than the first time and that's because the other guy has some time to work on keeping his nervousness in check and his head "in the right place" so that we can enjoy getting each other off. I'm sure others will have their own "tips and tricks" on how to deal with this but it's also why some guys will have a drink or two before the fact and so that they can relax and not be so nervous.

[csreef]

Finally, after 18 years of seeing just women, I had sex with a man last night. I met him on plenty of fish. It was unsatisfactory for both of us. Both of us started hard but quickly lost it. I have experienced this more and more as I have aged. If there is a second time, it will be different. It's nerves. Something I never had a problem with when I was younger but as so many things have changed as I have aged. Both of us lost our hard ons. Now I know you can have a good time without a hard on. I sucked and rimmed and fingered him to no avail. He did his best to suck me hard but I could tell without an erection he didn't have any real interest. I should have hopped on that cock while it was hard. He was a newbie when it came to bisexuality and needed more teaching than we had time for last night. I do not know if there will be a second time. I fucked myself with a dildo and did my best to get off after he left, nah. Nothing happened. It means I am going to be horny as all hell all day today.

Wow, I'm glad you met someone! We've all had a case of the nerves. Your next time will be better! :flag3::flag1::flag3:

[grover]

If there is a next time. The moment he is hard I am sticking it in me.

[KDaddy23]

You do what you gotta do, Grover! As I said, being nervous is quite normal but it takes some doing to work at not being so nervous that you can't get and keep an erection. It's... mind over matter and if you don't mind, it never matters.

[grover]

This is true. The difference between him and me is that I have learned that I can have a pretty damned good time without an erection. He, unfortunately hasn't. If he could have relaxed and let me do what I do that would have been one thing but he was on the edge of uptight the entire time. I doubt there will be a second time which is a pity. I really wanna get fucked. I can do it do myself with a dildo but it's so much nicer when someone else does it to you.

[grover]

I learned about bisexuality when I was 19 maybe and from that point on I was never in any closet about it. All my lovers have known. But, I have always been faithful when I am seeing someone. I don't cheat. Period. I have never identified as gay even when I was going through periods where other men was the only sex I was having. I find the whole gay thing rather silly. Besides I am more powerfully attracted to women. That was what led to 18 year pause in my bisexual pursuits. But, I miss men's cocks and assholes and hands, fingers and mouths. Men and their personalities... Not so much so. I could tell this dude was on the uncouth side (not in a bad way) simply by the way he came in my door. Graceless, I think the term is. Oh well.

[KDaddy23]

I can appreciate how frustrating this had to be for you and, likely, him, too. I was thinking how I'd feel if it took me almost 20 years before I got back to having sex with guys... and this happened and the thought makes me feel frustrated!

[wifekinky4husband]

Finally, after 18 years of seeing just women, I had sex with a man last night. I met him on plenty of fish. It was unsatisfactory for both of us. Both of us started hard but quickly lost it. I have experienced this more and more as I have aged. If there is a second time, it will be different. It's nerves. Something I never had a problem with when I was younger but as so many things have changed as I have aged. Both of us lost our hard ons. Now I know you can have a good time without a hard on. I sucked and rimmed and fingered him to no avail. He did his best to suck me hard but I could tell without an erection he didn't have any real interest. I should have hopped on that cock while it was hard. He was a newbie when it came to bisexuality and needed more teaching than we had time for last night. I do not know if there will be a second time. I fucked myself with a dildo and did my best to get off after he left, nah. Nothing happened. It means I am going to be horny as all hell all day today.

Lol. My husband would have gone flat was well. Sometimes you have to laugh it off. We were in a group party with two other couples. The other two husbands humpty dumptying my husband while I played with him, watching, feeling around, making comments. The other wives had been involved but decided to get some refreshments asking me to join them. When I did my husband was in the throes of a massive orgasm which led the other guy to cum in his mouth, so he was slightly busy. I didn't think he'd notice me gone. With a fresh load of cum in his mouth and one about to unload in his backside he popped up wondering where I was. Cum went everywhere. I mean everywhere. From his mouth and from the guy thumping him. I walked back into the room to a mess. My husband was drenched in cum, his penis totally dead, with a look of I'm ready to go. As long as I am there he can do amazing things but if I am not, little is happening. Even a few times when he went plumb wild he was constantly looking for me. Find your motivation, focus on that. I know I said it but oh my goodness when he is focused on me and what I am doing, saying, or wanting he is a sexual beast!

[Fiddlestyx]

Lol. My husband would have gone flat was well. Sometimes you have to laugh it off. We were in a group party with two other couples. The other two husbands humpty dumptying my husband while I played with him, watching, feeling around, making comments. The other wives had been involved but decided to get some refreshments asking me to join them. When I did my husband was in the throes of a massive orgasm which led the other guy to cum in his mouth, so he was slightly busy. I didn't think he'd notice me gone. With a fresh load of cum in his mouth and one about to unload in his backside he popped up wondering where I was. Cum went everywhere. I mean everywhere. From his mouth and from the guy thumping him. I walked back into the room to a mess. My husband was drenched in cum, his penis totally dead, with a look of I'm ready to go. As long as I am there he can do amazing things but if I am not, little is happening. Even a few times when he went plumb wild he was constantly looking for me. Find your motivation, focus on that. I know I said it but oh my goodness when he is focused on me and what I am doing, saying, or wanting he is a sexual beast!
Quite apart from your husband's being sexually charged by your presence there is also the basic essence of where one derives one's basic sexual inspiration in the larger realm. I really enjoy playing with another guy, but without the inspiration of the feminine - the whole physical, emotional, pheromonal thing - in my life the drive slips. It is the contrast between the male and female that makes playing with another guy fun I think.