Being Bisexual

[grover]

I have been working on an autobiography on and off for a decade now. This is from one of the sections that discusses my bisexuality. Thoughts?

"One night I was in Deering Oaks when I came across five or six men in a circle jerk and I joined in. Before it was over I was the focal point of an orgy. One guy was sucking me while I blew somebody else and the rest took turns fucking my ass. It was great fun and I wandered home weak kneed, cross eyed and quite sated. After that I would indulge in threesomes (or more) with men, women, and a few couples whenever I got the chance.


It may sound odd; especially after the above description, but when it comes to actually meeting people (anonymous gang bangs don?t count) I?m generally rather shy until the ice is broken. Once it is though I am gregarious and friendly. The thing is I have found that it is often easier getting laid than it is making friends. It is harder sometimes to open hearts than it is to open legs, which doesn?t say much for our society. The flip side of that is when I bond with somebody, I do so deeply, and that most of my true friendships are decades old. I know that life would be a lot easier if I could be either simply straight or gay, but I am not. my sexuality just doesn?t work that way. If I could be one or the other, I would probably be straight because my overall sexual preferences leans heavily that way. I love women. Also I find the whole notion of being ?gay? rather silly. I can no more define myself solely by my sexuality than I can by the color of my eyes. Also I?ve never considered myself gay even when my only sexual contact was with other men. I just find the whole ?gay? notion restricting.


I went to a gay men?s support group once, and when I said that I was bisexual I was told that I was in the closet and to come back after I made my mind up. Later I went to a straight men?s group and was told the same thing. The thing was I was never in the closet to anybody about my sexuality. I was and still am right up front about it, and all of my close friends and lovers have known. I don?t make a point of outing myself though. I don?t tell everybody like some gay men I know. It makes no sense to me... Hi! My name is Wayne and I?m____, fill in the blank. Its not everybody?s business. I will let you know if I want you to know, or you need to know.

What neither group understood (or would accept) is that beyond the two physical sexes there is one of imagination and spirit, with pure lust at its heart. That is how I feel about it anyway. Being bisexual is like being an entirely different gender composed of both masculine and feminine characteristics. Sadly it seems a lot of bi men from the websites I?ve gone to don?t understand this either. They seem to think its all about sucking cock or taking it up the ass and having sex with women as well. They miss the big picture. While the acts are the same, being bisexual is nothing like being straight or gay.


I used to feel guilty about my bisexuality. I would have sex with a guy and feel terrible about it afterwards and swear that I would never do it again. I felt the same way about it when I went to massage parlors or saw prostitutes when I was in the Coast Guard. Eventually I came to understand that the guilt I felt was leftover from my childhood and I let go of it.
I joke that I gave up guilt for Lent one year and never took it back up again. My sexuality is fluid and to deny that would be to deny myself. I have come to enjoy that fluidity. It has made my sexuality an adventure without which living would be far more dull, boring, and incomplete. I have lived my life as close to the edge as I dared with no apologies, no excuses and no regrets. My sexuality was no different.


One of the pleasures of being a bisexual, (for me) is being in touch with my more feminine, sensuous side. Unlike men more firmly attached to notions of masculinity, I am not threatened by it. I enjoy cuddling and comfort. I enjoy fine fabrics against the skin, scented oils and bubble baths. I love beds piled high with pillows and snuggling deep into them, I love feeling toasty warm. And, know the pleasure of satisfying a lover without my notions masculinity getting in the way. I can be venerable and wanting as well as strong and assertive. Being taken can be incredible. I can allow myself to be seduced as well as seduce. In short I feel I am more fully human. I can be decidedly more ?masculine? or ?feminine? in my sexual expression depending on mood or desire and the notion of being limited to just one is simply unthinkable. I describe men who are macho and who wear masculinity like as suit of armor as swaggering around with their assholes clinched way too tight. They need to relax some.


One of the reasons why I enjoyed sex with men so much is that I loved being taken. Anal sex drives me wild. I can?t describe exactly why but being fucked by a man is one of the most intense sexual experiences I know of. I rarely come from it (unless I?m doing the fucking) but I get but I get incredibly aroused; and when I do come, I have bone rattling orgasms. I enjoyed doing it to men but not as much... but I positively love having anal sex with women though. Not only are their asses so much nicer to look at, to feel and to go down on, but a woman who offers up her mouth, pussy and asshole to me is a major turn on. Its a total surrender, an abandon. Sex with men feels the same way to me. As with drugs, I loved letting go. Part of the reason I enjoy anal so much is that I last a lot longer that way than vaginally. I don?t know how it feels to a woman but from a man?s perspective (or mine anyway) entering a vagina is like sliding into a very responsive sleeve or glove. Its warmth, its moisture, the flexing and squeezing of its muscles... A pussy is designed to coax the come out of you. Just try entering a woman and then neither of you move. If you can pull it off; and it is surprisingly difficult, you both will have the most intense orgasms imaginable just from the normal flexing of the vaginal muscles. Anal sex is different. Yes, its slightly tighter, but sphincter muscles don?t act the same and as a result I can last up a good length of time anally whereas I come far quicker vaginally. I have been lucky. I have been involved with several women who loved anal sex. I feel I must say... When it comes to anal sex I have never been into scat or golden showers anymore than while I enjoy mild bondage, spanking etc... I?ve never been into BDSM or while I enjoyed pot and the psychedelics, I?ve never been into heroin and other hard drugs or pills. That is what I mean by getting as close to the edge as I dared.


As far as I can tell there is only one true sexual perversion, and that is brutality. When you think about it, brutality covers all the bases, physical, verbal and emotional abuse, rape, pedophilia, sadism (as opposed to sadomasochism which is mutual and little more than role playing) and other violent crimes including sex murders. What is important is that we love and true love has no room for violence and brutality. I learned long ago, what goes on in the recesses of the human heart is far more important than what goes on in bed. It is a great pity that it is a lesson rejected by many.


Someone once told me that I was oversexed and I guess I am. I was having sex with different people sometimes several times a week. Its interesting how having sex makes you want to have more sex. I was constantly horny. I masturbated everyday, often several times a day. I was flexible and thin enough to bend over and suck the tip of my own cock. Hell if I could, I would have fucked myself as well. It would take awhile for me to realize that it wasn?t just the sex I was after but another human being. What I witnessed with my parents made me wary of relationships but while I don?t mind being alone but I hate being lonely and I was lonely. So I used casual sex to fill the void.


When I was writing the above I had to ask why was it that I found it so easy to get laid? I was young and healthy, relatively attractive with an easy manner but that really had little to do with it. Men are always easy. As for women I think it had as much to do with the social revolutions of the sixties and the personal realizations that women didn?t have to buy into the old rules anymore. Between the women?s liberation movement and reliable birth control, sex suddenly became fun and accessible. Something women could indulge in without guilt or fear. As the 70?s progressed; and especially in the years before AIDS, the attitude that sex could be as casual as play took hold. Everybody was fucking like bunnies. If ya couldn?t get laid in the 70s, something was wrong. I got laid a lot."

~ from my autobiography? In Memories Ruin

[Neonaught]

Looks like you are off to a solid start!

[KDaddy23]

Yes, I agree - it's a great start and I know that I'd love to hear more about this!

[Grant_Norman]

My thoughts on bisexuality align a lot with much of yours. Yes, I truly love the lifestyle, and find clear cut sexual definitions somewhat culturally forced. I believe the only true sexual model is bisexuality, all of us. Sexual response and desire are rooted, in my opinion, in the amygdala, that lizard portion of our brains. Other parts of brain contribute to our sexual responses also, straight, gay, whatever, but at the base of all human sexual desire this base functional desire of sex comes from there.

I fee in me, a truly root desire from there to be sucking on cock. For me it such a natural desire, it is like hunger, thirst etc. As you indicated, often it is more difficult to make friends with men or women than it is to just experience sex. Sexual cravings are there regardless for me whether with man or woman. Love emotions in me are really only triggered by women, but just sexual desire is triggered by both and I always enjoy both with a man or a woman. Meeting, having sex, and enjoying with a man is at a base level that afterwards I frequently don't remember much of their personality or physicality, but I do always remember the feel of their cock in my mouth and the taste, another base function of their cum which I truly enjoy.

Therefore, anytime, with any guy, my part of the brain makes me ready for these oral behaviors l encounter. It also is the basis for multiple, promiscuous behaviors and my desire to suck as many cocks as possible, always. Hence well over hundreds of encounters over last 7 years of full on bisexual activity. And yes, right now I want more, and it is difficult for me to not be desiring the cock in my mouth.

Grant

[KDaddy23]

I have always been fascinated by guys who get "older" and discover bisexuality because I have no experience with this because I got to be bisexual at a very young age so it's all as normal to me as breathing is and more so when my young mind wasn't all that... polluted with the stigma and other stuff that adult men have to wind up dealing with when they hear the call of dick and want to answer it. I didn't have to struggle with the guilt because it didn't make any sense to me even though I knew that me and my male friends shouldn't have been doing what we were doing to each other but we did it anyway because it was fun, it felt amazingly good and I can't speak for any of them but I learned so much about sex and the lies we've been told about it; I've had a lot of time to process it before i reached adulthood so that getting some dick... wasn't a big deal or a problem.

So very different from guys who reach adulthood, and they get bitten by the bisexuality bug and, as such, yeah - I love hearing about it because I learn from it because I don't know what that's like.

[Grant_Norman]

So very different from guys who reach adulthood, and they get bitten by the bisexuality bug and, as such, yeah - I love hearing about it because I learn from it because I don't know what that's like.

I've always been bisexual since 6 years old until 16, but actively practiced only heterosexuality until 65 when I reverted to fully bisexual again. Had a few cock-sucking experiences in my early 30's, which I enjoyed, but didn't continue to pursue, not because of guilt, but because of AIDS avoidance. I've always been highly sexual and women and jerking off were always quite satisfying. But when wife completely stopped any intimacy of any kind, it was very easy for me to revert to my bisexual roots. Now being very actively open, I thoroughly enjoy the lifestyle and only crave more even though it has mostly estranged all family and friends and has helped lead to divorce, I would not ever trade it or attempt to go back to a hetero only lifestyle.

Grant

[KDaddy23]

I never "stopped" being bisexual. I knew and known guys who "gave it up" to be the heterosexual male girlfriends and wives were expecting (and demanding in some cases) to be but I saw no reason to and actually played a "game" that women love to play: Accept me as I am or go on somewhere. Early in my marriage, my wife was cheating on me which led to us being open and that meant that I was free to keep on getting the dick I wanted and needed. Still, I... broke in a lot of new guys and sometimes watched them struggle with things that, as someone who got started early, I learned to wrap my head around and learning that the rules men were supposed to obey without question were... bogus. You can't be yourself and be what social norms demand you be at the same time and the one thing my parents pounded into my head was to always be true to myself and part of that truth was that I'm bisexual. It's one thing to, as I say, join the party early, step away from it, then come back to it but there are guys who, as early as their mid-thirties, find that they've been bitten and some struggle with having to deal with thoughts and feelings that they either never had before or never entertained.

And I love a good success story!

[RisingBi]

Thank you, @grover, for sharing. I enjoyed your leading us along the journey to your sexual acceptance. I'm glad you came to ignore the--if not ignorance--then total insensitivity expressed in the gay and straight groups. I have not experienced similar accusations from the straight community myself, expressing the impossibility of actual bisexuality, but I've certainly gotten it from the gay side--or at least from a few gay guys I've had sex with. It's sad.

My own sexual journey has been a rather difficult and confused one. For me personally, in hindsight, it looks like over almost the last 30 years (I'm about to turn 60, and my at least adult gay feelings started at 30), there's been an internal struggle between my conscious and unconscious self, with my gay feelings and desires especially coming to the surface first as an enjoyment and then later an addiction to gay porn as well as many gay fantasies, often in response to women rejecting me. For the first 21 years, my desires and fantasies about everything gay, including anal sex, romance and love, drove me to many different gay sex venues for anonymous sex, but almost always losing all gay desire as soon as I became naked with a man, and always just ending up having oral sex. But back at home all the full-blown gay desires and fantasies always returned. We are talking over 200 cocks sucked or mutually sucked! But only on five occasions did I have desire for the cock I was sucking. What a crazy cognitive dissonance!

Then at the 21 year mark, going to a bathhouse in Berlin, the furthest away from my Niagara/Toronto home (something to do with it?), with the same full-blown gay desires that I always went with, I fell in lust with this young 20-ish twink's ass, tonguefucked his hole for over an hour with a hunger like I've never experienced, and finally lost my gay virginity, inserting my cock and fucking him. That encounter changed my life. I felt in touch with this gay side of me like never before, and accepting it and loving it. I changed my self identity from bi-confused to bisexual, and felt so proud and happy. I stopped all anonymous sex and just began getting together with local guys in each other's homes via gay hookup websites. I had desire for every guy that I was with, and loved everything we did together, oral and anal.

The only thing that didn't happen was having any romantic feelings for any guys I met, despite always having them in my fantasies, and despite always developing romantic feelings for women lifelong. But I did meet a guy who I became friends with, dated, and had sex with a number of times. But it did not work out because he was looking for a husband and despite my loving everything about him as a friend and loving the sex, and wishing deeply to have romantic feelings for him, I didn't.

A couple of years later I fell in love with a woman (only the second woman I was ever with), and had an on again off again three-year relationship with her (yes, this was just girlfriend#2--at 54!). But that relationship was very turbulent with many breakups. Each one always ignited my gay desires, though I never acted on them. This was where my gay porn addiction became unmanageable. But when we finally had our final breakup just before the pandemic started, I was very excited to go full out exploring my gay side like never before. But the pandemic severely curtailed that, and I've only gotten together with a few guys during my newfound gay freedom. But still, in these 2 1/2 years there has been an ever greater awakening and acceptance of my gay side.

I feel that what has been happening my life long is this strong repression of my gay side, almost an internalized homophobia if you will. This has strongly affected in a negative way my sexual relationships with men and my understanding of myself. I think it goes back all the way to puberty. My best male friend and I did a lot of sexual play and experimentation from 8-13 years of age. But then we had a bad falling out and severed our friendship, and there was not a single gay thought or feeling (except one fleeting moment for a guy in my swim class in my mid teens) until I was 30 and thousands of miles away from my home, in the middle of a 5-month road trip after my first girlfriend broke up with me for the third time at 30 after a three-year relationship.

All of a sudden while driving in Washington state I started having gay thoughts and feelings--in a very powerful way. That night I spent the best and longest masturbation session of my life, jerking off for hours to three gay porn magazines that I bought at a convenience store. It ended with the most earth shattering orgasm of my life, by far. For the next 3 days I stroked my cock to gay fantasies and glances over at open pages of the magazines on the passenger seat while driving during the day, and long jerk-off sessions in motel rooms at night, on my way straight to San Francisco and the gay Castro district. What happened there I've written elsewhere, but that began my visits to arcades, porn theaters, bathhouses, gay sex clubs, back rooms of gay bars, and even a number of gay orgies.

I've also made some strong leaps forward in breaking through my gay repression in just the last few months. I've always been turned off with body hair, including facial, in gay porn and in real life. Trimmed or smooth genitals only for me, and I kept myself the same. And I was only attracted to relatively little hair on the rest of the body. But I had very passionate sex with a bearded and very hairy guy a couple of months ago, and that I believe again broke through another layer of my suppressed gay side. I'm not saying this is for other guys, but for me I believe the smooth thing had a feminine aspect and an unconscious denial of the masculine in homosexuality. That experience turned a switch on for me, and now in porn and in real life hair is irrelevant. Hair does not repel me in the least: it's like I see past the hair, or just embrace it, in my desire to get closer to the man and having a connection with him.

Over the years I've gradually gotten to like more and more of a guy's body. Whereas in my real life encounters with guys it turned into cock only, like so many other bisexual men talk about here, that Berlin encounter left me loving also a guy's butt cheeks and asshole in real life. And since then more and more of a guy's body, really loving the physical/sexual connection with all of a man's body. In fact, sometimes I get physical and sexual desire for guys on the street, something that eluded me all these decades, though, as with most bisexual and straight guys, women on the street are always turning my head.

The only thing missing was the man himself, his personality, his mind, his thoughts and feelings, etc. My fantasies included all of it, but still not in real life. That is, until this past June when I developed a friendship with a male acquaintance, and I was having full-blown romantic feelings for him. But for all I could see, he was straight, and has recently moved hundreds of miles away from me anyway. But there it was, a guy that I was attracted to in every way like I've been with women. I could feel myself falling in love with him practically. If it would've been reciprocated, I would've loved for us to be dating and maybe even ending up boyfriends.

I'm not saying the repression is fully gone. But I feel like I've definitely made huge strides in that. I know a lot of bisexual guys, perhaps even most, never get to the place I'm at right now, and have no desire to. But the fact that I have fantasized about it, everything with a man's body, making love as a top and bottom, falling in love, even getting married to a man, tells me that I'm much further over on the Kinsey scale than most bi guys. I'm still attracted to women, but since breaking up with girlfriend#2 I have no interest in even a casual sexual relationship with a woman, even one night of sex with a woman, let alone dating and romance and love.

All I've wanted since that final breakup has been to explore my gay side in every way that comes and try to figure it out. I don't know what that means. I don't know whether it's just me wanting to change the landscape because the only two women in my life that actually said yes to me broke up with me often during each of those 3-year relationships. Is the gay side of my bisexuality yet again in response to pain from women, as it's always been, or is there a legitimate full blown gay side of me that wants to live. I do believe I am still bisexual, and not living the life of struggle to accept my homosexuality as the straight and gay groups you met and some of the gay guys I've met have proposed or insisted on. Maybe eventually I will stabilize as a fully integrated, fully functional, bisexual man, having sex with or falling for whatever person, whatever gender.

But the bottom line for me for now is that I'm very excited to have a lot more sex with men, develop friendships with men that have a sexual component, and eventually find at least a male friend and lover to have a monogamous relationship with, even if love doesn't happen. I love my gay feelings so much now, and for the first time feel I'm living more of my truth.

I hope you and every other man, or woman, finds the same.

[Neonaught]

I much prefer getting to know someone, at least a bit, before we get intimate. That's probably why I never like glory holes or fleeting encounters. I'd much rather have an ongoing thing with guys I click with.

[KDaddy23]

@RisingBi, thanks for sharing this - and this is the kind of things I love to learn about because, again, I don't know what it's like to be in my 30s or so and finding myself bitten by the bisexuality bug and going through all those... struggles because my adult mind is having... issues coping with my thoughts and feelings. I got through this very early on and the key was me having a lot of time to grow up and think about my dual sexual interests versus what "everyone" said about being gay - but knowing that I wasn't. And experiencing so much along the way as well as learning and understanding that the way it's supposed to be isn't the only way of things and people aren't just straight or just gay. I had it figured out before I became an adult but I would run into a lot of guys who got bitten and struggled with it and, well, I still feel that it's important to understand this even though it's not something that bothered me all that much.

[Grant_Norman]

So now truly openly bisexual, I have sacrificed many old hetero relationships. Family and friends, but do not mind at all. My very sexual behavior is very "bi" in that I love an older 60's 70's year old man's cock in my mouth and swallowing his cum, yet I thoroughly love have a 26 year old pussy riding my face. I am looking to move in full time with her, and really want her hot body next to mine. I would also enjoy , her pussy on my face, but I have told her several times she being so hot and beautiful I still wat her to get out and fuck as much as she like guys or girls. I also told her I will still be sucking as much as I can.

I want our sex life together to truly be as open as possible, no reason not to. Our sex has nothing to do with any love that may develop between us. I look forward to the first day I can lick and suck a bunch of other guy's cum out of her pussy. And I look forward to me sucking and swallowing another older man's cum as she watches .

That is the sex life I want to have with her, and I do hope o share in the future.

Grant

[bikurinpa]

I much prefer getting to know someone, at least a bit, before we get intimate. That's probably why I never like glory holes or fleeting encounters. I'd much rather have an ongoing thing with guys I click with.
Same here, this is why I never find any one! No one on any these sites wants a ongoing friendship as well, just blo n goes only!

[grover]

I was stalked and beaten to a pulp on a regular basis (sometimes several times a week) in junior high and high school by the jocks and bullies for supposedly being gay. This was a time when sex ed was new or nonexistent. Because of the abuse, I didn't date in high school, and when I got on my own I had sex with a woman, totally enjoyed myself... And then I had sex with a man. After the beatings I went through there was no way I wasn't going to try and find out one way or the other. What I found is that I enjoyed sex with a man as much as I had with women. I didn't see what the big deal was. Initially I was confused because being bi is not one of our cultural options, maybe more so now, but certainly not back in the 60s and 70s. Then my best friend in the Coast Guard explained bisexuality to me. I didn't experiment any further until I got out. Once I did get out though, I played the field as my desires dictated... Except when I was with someone, then I was faithful. I finally decided for me, women were the full package and men just a distraction. That more than any fear of AIDS or anything like that led me to put my bisexuality aside and focus on my relationship with women.

[Grant_Norman]

I was stalked and beaten to a pulp on a regular basis (sometimes several times a week) in junior high and high school by the jocks and bullies for supposedly being gay. This was a time when sex ed was new or nonexistent. Because of the abuse, I didn't date in high school, and when I got on my own I had sex with a woman, totally enjoyed myself... And then I had sex with a man. After the beatings I went through there was no way I wasn't going to try and find out one way or the other. What I found is that I enjoyed sex with a man as much as I had with women. I didn't see what the big deal was. Initially I was confused because being bi is not one of our cultural options, maybe more so now, but certainly not back in the 60s and 70s. Then my best friend in the Coast Guard explained bisexuality to me. I didn't experiment any further until I got out. Once I did get out though, I played the field as my desires dictated... Except when I was with someone, then I was faithful. I finally decided for me, women were the full package and men just a distraction. That more than any fear of AIDS or anything like that led me to put my bisexuality aside and focus on my relationship with women.

Sorry you hadto endure such physical abuse from the jocks. I know first hand how the times were...a lot of scare tactics of you might be gay. Fortunately for me. I always had strong feelings for women ad chasing pussy was my main focus. Yet, I also sucked a lot of friends cocks and loved it, from 6 on, but none of them would cum until my best friend cum in my mouth at 16. Really loved it and swallowed it down. but also at that same time I was doing a lot of fucking with women, and they won out over sucking. It was easy for me to become mostly hetero after 16, but always had the cocksucking in back of my mind and even sucked some in my 30's . But then waited over 30 years and a frigid wife to become actively bisexual in 2015. Have easily had over 100's of sessions since hen and swallowed hundreds of loads. Not as much anal receiving, maybe a 1/2 dozen, but truly love the sucking and swallowing.

Grant

[KDaddy23]

I, too, grew up with "jocks" bullying guys who weren't "jocks" and presumed to be gay and the difference between myself and those who'd get bullied was... I knew how to fight and with extreme prejudice. Fuck with me if you want to and at your own risk. I've told the story here of my gay friend who got damned near killed a jock for thinking he could bully my friend - the worst ass-kicking I have ever seen (that wasn't a professional fight). I just never let those assholes bother or deter me from being myself and I also knew that for some of them, it was all bluster because I knew how they were when I'd suck them or they were very eager to suck me - or I'd have my dick in their ass and they're under me and responding like the "faggot" they'd publicly accuse other guys of being. And, really - if I'm a "faggot" for having sex with you, um, what does that make you?

Hmm.

[RisingBi]

@RisingBi, thanks for sharing this - and this is the kind of things I love to learn about because, again, I don't know what it's like to be in my 30s or so and finding myself bitten by the bisexuality bug and going through all those... struggles because my adult mind is having... issues coping with my thoughts and feelings. I got through this very early on and the key was me having a lot of time to grow up and think about my dual sexual interests versus what "everyone" said about being gay - but knowing that I wasn't. And experiencing so much along the way as well as learning and understanding that the way it's supposed to be isn't the only way of things and people aren't just straight or just gay. I had it figured out before I became an adult but I would run into a lot of guys who got bitten and struggled with it and, well, I still feel that it's important to understand this even though it's not something that bothered me all that much.
I appreciate your reply, KDaddy23, as I always do. You're an amazing and thoughtful man. But I truly envy you for having figured it out in your teens and being able to live your truth lifelong as an adult. Yes, there are many of us who struggle with figuring it out in our adulthood. I truly wish for everyone to quickly and happily discover who they truly are. May all struggle disappear!

[KDaddy23]

@RisingBi, I think that once a guy realizes that this isn't really as bad as it's said to be - and he recognizes and accepts that he has these desires and that it's totally normal to have them - that repression and suppression just goes by the wayside because it just doesn't make sense to be "weird" about something you know you want and need to do and no matter why you want and need to. Yep, getting started young gave me both the time and experiences to figure it all out and to be 100% comfortable with it. But I would encounter guys who were either very new to this or struggling with their thoughts and feelings and doing whatever I could to help them deal with this and, as such, learning that not everyone adjusts to being bisexual easily and being older can make you worry about the stuff that I'd long since stopped being worried about - and it helped being a pretty smart kid growing up and being able - and learning - to make sense of all of this.

Your story is a familiar one to me because I've heard so many other guys speak to the same things you've shared with us. I've learned that "relationship problems" with women often trigger a guy's bisexuality or, as you said, their gay side and it's always amazed me how this happens, but it does and while so many guys "worry" about how they got here, it's of greater import to focus one's thoughts on what can be done now that you're in this moment. Or you're here and... now what? Now it's all about being free to express yourself and, hopefully, leaving the feeling of being repressed behind because that part of things is now over and done with and there's no need to stay... stuck in this repressed place.

[Long Duck Dong]

Interesting read.....quite enjoyed it......

One thing I have often noticed is the argument over sexuality, gay or straight, there is no bi..... say it in a yoda voice, lol.....but I often see another side which is the gay, straight or bi, men that have sex with men and women that have sex with women do not exist, they are bi.......

I actually brought that up in another thread regarding people being tired of being bisexual ( the term ) not the activity, and yes some people did have the stance of keep it simple, stupid, like cock, like pussy= bisexual, end of debate.....and I am not going to argue over it, I just noticed that how it was so similar to the gay or straight, there is no bi stance......

The reality for me is I have a neurological condition where parts of my brain will simply shut off so there is no reaction to any stimuli...something asexual people experience, or it can go the other way where having sex 5-6 times a day is needed, something a hypersexual person experiences.....and its the same with sexual interaction, it can shift from gay, to straight to bi, with the issue occurring that I can be bi one day ( reacting to males and females ) to either gay or straight ( a person of the same or opposite sex can be fully naked, get me on the bed and my body simply will not react regardless of what they do )...... and I have lost count of the times I have been told NO, that does not happen.......

I have met a very wide range of people over the decades, and always simply accepted them and their personal understanding of themselves.......and yes some have said they wish they were not bisexual because they enjoy being in a relationship with the person they love, and that nagging, annoying need for a different experience is something they would rather not have......and met others that will say its internalised bi phobia, the person should be out and playing so they are happier, completely ignoring the fact the person does not want to play around......

For me, its a case of each to their own, what ever makes them happy.....who am I to argue if they are right or wrong........but I do live in a world where being right matters to other people, even if it means that they do the same thing they disagree with, IE people that say that bisexuality does not exist then turn around and say that MSM and WSW do not exist, they are simply bisexual

[Jazminedress]

I would read a book on it, have many times thought about writing one on , well, being a guy in a dress

[wifekinky4husband]

Oh my goodness thanks. I wish my husband would write out his thoughts of our journey together. So cool. Thanks for sharing.

[Long Duck Dong]

I would read a book on it, have many times thought about writing one on , well, being a guy in a dress

please do.......I would love to read * all jazzed up * by jazmine and their many experiences...lol I get the feeling that you would write from * both sides of jazz * about your experiences.....
things like that, I love because its not hard to tell when its a cisgender person writing a autobiography or a trans person.....and I have only read a few cross dresser autobiographies and the way that they sway between male and female when writing actually changes how they express themselves in words.....

[Jazminedress]

please do.......I would love to read * all jazzed up * by jazmine and their many experiences...lol I get the feeling that you would write from * both sides of jazz * about your experiences.....
things like that, I love because its not hard to tell when its a cisgender person writing a autobiography or a trans person.....and I have only read a few cross dresser autobiographies and the way that they sway between male and female when writing actually changes how they express themselves in words.....

I didnt even think about that