When a person becomes tired of bisexual and other labels

[Long Duck Dong]

Last night was a interesting discussion with the people in my closed group relationship, and other friends......

A question came up about sexuality labels, as there are so many of them now ( over 30 ) and one of the male friends said they avoid using any label and focus more on what they are interested in, sexually...IE they enjoy cocks and pussies, but do not ID as bisexual......

Another person immediately called them out as an anti labeller, and said that labels are important because it helps separate us from others, to which the reply was, it may help with sexuality and awareness, but it also create a situation of expectations and assumptions on a person simply because of being that sexuality, such as a person is LGBT+ therefore they have a obligation to stand up for and support the fight for LGBT+ right, stand up for trans people, etc......but also the assumption that they are bisexual, they can not be monogamous etc

One by one, most of us admitted that we had experienced the assumption issues about us simply because of our sexuality label, and most of us ended up admitting that more often than not, we do not refer to ourselves as bisexual.....saying that we enjoy cock and pussy, as a open description.....with one friend immediately saying DOES that include non binary, people that do not use a gender label and trans people.......

I swear there was a collective groan in the room.....but that person persisted with their opinion about how its unfair to focus solely on genitalia rather than the person.....

Finally my partner said I have fucked straight females and straight guys, who said they had no interest in suck another males cock or eating another females pussy, yet with me they did, because they could also enjoy the type of sex they enjoyed with others..... I have also fucked non binary people, and the genitalia was the same as males and females.....and I have fucked intersex people like me......so when I say I enjoy cock and pussy, I am telling the truth, but I do not always like the people that have them.......

Ended up with most of us, last night, admitting that we are generally the same...... we do tend to avoid using bisexual and other labels, simply because they say * attracted to males and females * and in truth, we enjoy cock, pussy and sex

PS my partner is intersex with a cock and pussy and while they are referred to as female, they do not actually ID as female or non binary.....and often say they are attracted to people whose company they enjoy, rather than using labels like male, female, cis etc......

Anyways, it got me curious about how many people in this site, find themselves doing the same thing, saying they love cock and pussy rather than calling themselves bisexual

[Jazminedress]

Someone on here once told me, "Labels belong on soup cans"

But, in many ways I think we have gone so far over to politically correct that, we forget, yes, some labels are necessary and it does not mean something is bad. As an example, when I hire an train new people, I ask them this question specifically (for the record, I ask it because many of them are young and more liberal, and some of their thinking, I have to change).

Anyways, I ask them...............is the word profile a bad thing, or a good thing

Most of them struggle with this and go immediate to police profiling. I have to point out, that was not the question, the question was is the word profile good or bad. The answer of course is neither, what you DO WITH THE WORD is what makes it a negative or positive ( we deal in finance and lending and some times there are red flags with people, I need and require associates to pay attention and yes, profile behaviors and such).

Just like the word bisexual, it is nothing more than a descriptive word, it means you have sex with both genders. From my point of view, if you have sex with men and women, yes you are Bisexual. Whether your are trans, CD, non binary, does not matter within the parameters of this definition, it is simply what it is.

If you have sex, only with people that are of the same biological gender as yourself..............that is another definition. I think the issue is, we try to expand too much to the point of the discussion or definition, there is an attempt to dilute it. In my experience, this is done to set people apart and make each individual special

What do you drive ? A car ? well its also an internal combustion machine, its a form of transportation, its an automobile etc etc etc etc etc and it can go on.

I am not saying the additional descriptive words are not needed or useful, but, within the parameters of what is bisexual, the answer is fairly simple. As someone who works with people all day, I see this conflating of things, it just seems people these days have a need to add more to make them distinctive from everyone else

[Long Duck Dong]

The problem for most of us, last night, is we have run into the current * debate * where people are using different definitions of bisexual such as attracted to cis gender males and females, attracted to cis and trans gender males and females, attracted to cis/ trans and non binary people etc........then arguing that using different definitions is the right of each individual, while telling others that THE definition of bisexual is.......


My partner is a lil bitch at times cos when people use the stance of attraction to a person defines sexuality, she will say if a person is attracted to her and enjoys her cock and pussy, what is the sexuality of the person..... and people are quick to say the person is bi cos they like cock and pussy.... and she will reply with what is a bi person and most people say a person attracted to male and female..... its actually fun watching people try to insist they are right when they use two terms that actually contradict each other if applied to my partner.......

Ironically that fits in to the profiling that you mention, are 4 main areas that I use for profiling people are 1) The need to be right, 2) self justification / discrimination 3) sense of entitlement /victimhood and 4) introvert / extrovert.... yet I do not profile on sexuality, gender / non gender or race... .and its because attitudes, opinions and stances follow universal patterns of behavior and reasoning, rather than race, gender or sexuality, tho they can be interlinked...

Sorta like how CD and bisexuality can be interlinked in the same person ( dating and sex ) but also separate, such as CDing around the house when they are alone, because it feels natural and right for them.......

My own definition of bisexuality is one that is varied depending on the person as some follow the original definition which was created in a time when terms like cis and transgender generally did not exist and others have grown up in a society where non binary, cis, trans etc are commonly used terms.....but the pressure is on people to * confirm * to socially accepted ideas such as acceptance, tolerance and understanding, and they in turn have evolved into * if your opinion is not agreed with, STFU * lol

Honestly for me, I have the opinion that its actually the demands that any opinion I have, confirm to others idea of acceptable, and that I have to support other LGBT+ and side with them, because I am bisexual, that is making me tired...........I would rather just enjoy coffee and dinner and a good conversation with intelligent, friendly and funny like minded people, including CDs lol.......

Fuck me, I think I am hitting that point in my life when I am getting too old to join in societies endless fights, and people regard me as old and set in my ways, lol

[Neonaught]

Someone on here once told me, "Labels belong on soup cans"

But, in many ways I think we have gone so far over to politically correct that, we forget, yes, some labels are necessary and it does not mean something is bad. As an example, when I hire an train new people, I ask them this question specifically (for the record, I ask it because many of them are young and more liberal, and some of their thinking, I have to change).

Anyways, I ask them...............is the word profile a bad thing, or a good thing

Most of them struggle with this and go immediate to police profiling. I have to point out, that was not the question, the question was is the word profile good or bad. The answer of course is neither, what you DO WITH THE WORD is what makes it a negative or positive ( we deal in finance and lending and some times there are red flags with people, I need and require associates to pay attention and yes, profile behaviors and such).

Just like the word bisexual, it is nothing more than a descriptive word, it means you have sex with both genders. From my point of view, if you have sex with men and women, yes you are Bisexual. Whether your are trans, CD, non binary, does not matter within the parameters of this definition, it is simply what it is.

If you have sex, only with people that are of the same biological gender as yourself..............that is another definition. I think the issue is, we try to expand too much to the point of the discussion or definition, there is an attempt to dilute it. In my experience, this is done to set people apart and make each individual special

What do you drive ? A car ? well its also an internal combustion machine, its a form of transportation, its an automobile etc etc etc etc etc and it can go on.

I am not saying the additional descriptive words are not needed or useful, but, within the parameters of what is bisexual, the answer is fairly simple. As someone who works with people all day, I see this conflating of things, it just seems people these days have a need to add more to make them distinctive from everyone else

That was me and I still think it holds true!

[Jazminedress]

That was me and I still think it holds true!

ohhhhhhh, now I gotta go back and footnote or whatever you call it to give credit.....lol

[Jazminedress]

Honestly for me, I have the opinion that its actually the demands that any opinion I have, confirm to others idea of acceptable, and that I have to support other LGBT+ and side with them, because I am bisexual, that is making me tired...........I would rather just enjoy coffee and dinner and a good conversation with intelligent, friendly and funny like minded people, including CDs lol.......

Fuck me, I think I am hitting that point in my life when I am getting too old to join in societies endless fights, and people regard me as old and set in my ways, lol

I know what you are saying, I have taken heat because I wont support the Pride parade. I used too, I wont have anything to do with it anymore. It's like, you have to support this or that, or you cant call yourself this or that.

I can call myself the emporer of fu man chu if I want, nothing anyone can do about it.......................hmmmmmmmmmmmm actually..............

[tenni]

KISS (Keep it simple stupid) Principle

For the vast majority of humans a simple definition will function well enough. Complex definitions will work for who they apply to. However, not as easy to define

"A Bisexual is a person who is physically sexually and or romantically (emotionally ) attracted not exclusively to people of one particular gender."

Several posters who identify as bisexual but deny any emotional romantic aspect and refer to being only physically attracted to CIS male genitals (cock) but remain attracted physically and emotionally to CIS female ( genitals).

[KDaddy23]

What an interesting discussion. The other day, I was watching a show on Netflix and one of the competitors referred to herself as non-binary, genderqueer (and some other things I missed) but ended her self-description with, "I'm gay!" followed by a case of the giggles. I thought, "Honey, you could have just led with that..." and I'd be the first to admit that a lot of the terminology being thrown around and being used to "redefine the big three" is often confusing because at the end of the defining, it usually comes down to someone saying that they're straight, bi, gay, or trans (even though these worthy folks can be bi or gay or straight) because it's our interpretation of what sexuality is that matters more than whatever nomenclature we keep coming up with.

Or you are what you say you are. The definition of bisexuality I grew up with didn't include the word "gender." "Queer" was a word that would tend to start fights and, in some situations, got someone killed. The words change... but the behaviors don't so much, and it really speaks to the true fluidity of sexuality in that anyone can be whatever sexuality they choose to accept (and define for themselves) and even "changeout" one mode of behavior for another and as suits their needs and purposes and even then, not be of a mind to, say, accept "bisexual" even though their behaviors fit the general description.

Once again, I find myself agreeing with Tenni: Keep it simple. I am someone who can have a physical and/or emotional affinity for both sexes and this is the definition I learned and grew up with because it accurately describes what I am as far as sexuality is concerned. It works. The shoe fits. How I'm bisexual, well, that's on me to decide and to determine as far as what suits my needs and purposes where love, sex, and relationships are concerned - and those things are not as mutually inclusive as we believe them to be and this, too, is an individual determination since we all have to figure out what all of this means to us and how we're going to go about things. The real question is why are we creating such complex definitions? And, at the end of any day, do these complex definitions really matter as long as we're being true to what we know about ourselves? I like guys because, undeniably, I like having sex with them; I've been in love with a guy and in a relationship with him and I've felt some pretty serious feelings for other guys and not all that different from how I feel and interact with women and women are also amazing to have sex with - and with/without love and relationships being involved. At the end of the day for me, I am, have been, and always will be bisexual... because anything else make my head hurt.

[Long Duck Dong]

Yeah it was a interesting discussion and I grew up in the 70s and 80s in new zealand so a person was either * normal * or gay, lesbian or a perv ( bi ), but I never heard the term bi until I was near 20.....and it meant a person that cheated / fucked anything that moved ( society definition )

Years later I noticed a pattern of things like men that have sex with men, straights that enjoy their cocks sucked by other guys and so on....and what I noticed very quickly, is more often than not, it was actually LGBT+ people going after them for not using the * correct label *......and even now, I notice more people are starting to say * enjoy sex with other people* rather than one of the main 4 like straight, gay, lesbian or bi....... and many times I have heard people say, it also stops them being classed as * more at risk, sexual minority, oppressed * etc......

Of course there is the occasional cries of bi erasure and denial of sexuality, when people do not ID as bisexual, but for me it keeps coming back to something very simple, is it actually a clearer definition IE they enjoy sex with people they are attracted to or interested in, without focusing on the other persons gender or sexuality.......where as the main 4 sexualities are actually very vague in that they simply use a gender basis......

KISS may work for many people with sexuality labels like gay, lesbian, straight and bi, as a general term in regards to attraction and interaction but worlds apart in terms of sexual activity and behaviour, such as need and desire....a friend and myself, were both classed as people that were regularly engaged in sex with males and females because we are bi, yet I was actually happily celibate for a number of years....

Say you are bisexual to me, and I will simply hear you enjoy the company of males and females.....cos as you say, how you are bisexual, is up to you and if you expand on and define it.......ironically if I say I enjoy sex with other people, to other people, they often want details that allow them to * put me in a box * lol......

[Long Duck Dong]

I know what you are saying, I have taken heat because I wont support the Pride parade. I used too, I wont have anything to do with it anymore. It's like, you have to support this or that, or you cant call yourself this or that.

I can call myself the emporer of fu man chu if I want, nothing anyone can do about it.......................hmmmmmmmmmmmm actually..............

unfortunately I know what you mean.....

In new zealand in 2019 the auckland pride council voted to exclude cops in uniform from marching in pride... and we have LGBT+ cops including the worlds first trans cop.... the result was the majority of the communities, including LGBT+ turned their back on pride and walked away.......the following year, the pride council did it again, and recently they voted to exclude themselves from the world pride organization......
The majority of the LGBT+ simply created a new rainbow pride council and started a new parade pride which welcomed cops in uniform.....

A group of friends and myself have a trust that we run, that funds a lot of LGBT+ groups, as well as providing funding for numerous pride events in NZ and we had to make a choice, so we decided to no longer fund that specific pride event, and promptly got called anti LGBT+ and homophobic.....

For me personally, I have the stance of acceptance, tolerance and understanding is not one sided, and is overused as a catch phrase by people who are anything but accepting, tolerant and understanding........and at times I have had to exclude myself because to remain involved, would mean compromising my own standards or taking sides.......many years ago, we fought for same sex marriage rights in New Zealand, and I marched with churches, cops, straights and others that supported our right, ending up as a target for other LGBT+ who deemed us to be the * enemy * while demanding we continue to support the LGBT+ and the fight for same sex marriage rights..... I was actually fighting for marriage and civil union rights for all, without restriction.....

When the first draft of the law was presented to the government, it included input from the LGBT+ community ( actually it was made up of gays and lesbians only ) and the first draft only gave gays and lesbians same sex marriage rights.....the majority straight select committee immediately questioned it and said NO.....second draft included ANY person who wished to marry a partner of the same gender / sex, as well as the option of marriage or civil union ( only difference is the wording during the ceremony )....

Kinda ironic in a way that factions within the LGBT+ were doing more harm and damage to the LGBT+ community than our so called * enemies *

[KDaddy23]

I sometimes think that it's not that people are tired of the labels but tired of the confusion surrounding them these days. There's the confusion being injected by straight guys who throw it down with other guys and insist that they're still straight but with qualifiers and, usually, "It's not something I do all of the time..." but "refusing" to grasp that if you have sex with both men and women, a lot of people would call you a bisexual. Or, in the early goings-on with all this riffing about bisexuality, the many people I would read about talking about how they feel about men and women - including sex - but were loathe to say they were bisexual because they couldn't see themselves being in a same-sex relationship and as it was being insisted upon and, even today, in some quarters, a relationship is still being implied as a must-have condition first and foremost and in the same-sex way of things. Yet, we hold true that the relationship does not define the people in the relationship and now... non-binary, genderqueer, etc., and so many different things being used to describe the same behaviors.

And, methinks, some "whistling in the dark" to "get around" seeing one's behavior as it really is and, perhaps, the insistence of how one goes about expressing themselves having a lot of weight and importance over, say, if you're a woman and you are totally into other women, then you're a lesbian which is just another word to describe a homosexual female - and let's not get into what "female" means to some but now we get into the inclusion of gender as an important factor in bisexuality... or any sexuality. What we can see is people doing their thing and in whatever way - and combination - that's floating their boat and calling bisexuality anything other than... bisexuality. And insisting that they're not the duck they've been quacking like.

And being a bisexual who was "born" in the mid-1960s, I wonder what the fuck is going on and why so many people have a problem with accepting "bisexual" as the word that accurately describes their behaviors. Or even "gay" as the accurate descriptor but, yeah, non-binary, genderqueer, and any other words/labels that "makes sense" to them... and maybe because the simplest answer - you're gay - is the answer that cannot be right to them but, yeah, non-binary, genderqueer (add a bunch of other labels) is the "real" answer. We've exchanged a simple label - in this case, both "gay" and "bi" for new labels that are more confusing than they are anything else, which is probably making others reject any labels and keeping their own counsel about their sexuality and... it gets even messier.

If you look like a duck, quack like a duck, act like a duck, and insist that you're a brown bear, something is very wrong, and we've been too busy losing our fucking minds over nomenclature to (1) see that something is wrong and (2) do something to settle down and fix it so that we can be as much on the same page as our chosen sexuality allows.

[csreef]

You can take a label (Sexuality, Politics, Social status, whatever) and you can dissect it so many times, that you end up where you started originally. My :2cents: worth.

[KDaddy23]

You can take a label (Sexuality, Politics, Social status, whatever) and you can dissect it so many times, that you end up where you started originally. My :2cents: worth.

Yeah. That. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

[Jazminedress]

Yeah. That. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

one of my favorite hair band songs

[cornholejoe]

Me i am trysexual will try any thing once and do it again if i like it

[Long Duck Dong]

I sometimes think that it's not that people are tired of the labels but tired of the confusion surrounding them these days. There's the confusion being injected by straight guys who throw it down with other guys and insist that they're still straight but with qualifiers and, usually, "It's not something I do all of the time..." but "refusing" to grasp that if you have sex with both men and women, a lot of people would call you a bisexual. Or, in the early goings-on with all this riffing about bisexuality, the many people I would read about talking about how they feel about men and women - including sex - but were loathe to say they were bisexual because they couldn't see themselves being in a same-sex relationship and as it was being insisted upon and, even today, in some quarters, a relationship is still being implied as a must-have condition first and foremost and in the same-sex way of things. Yet, we hold true that the relationship does not define the people in the relationship and now... non-binary, genderqueer, etc., and so many different things being used to describe the same behaviors.

And, methinks, some "whistling in the dark" to "get around" seeing one's behavior as it really is and, perhaps, the insistence of how one goes about expressing themselves having a lot of weight and importance over, say, if you're a woman and you are totally into other women, then you're a lesbian which is just another word to describe a homosexual female - and let's not get into what "female" means to some but now we get into the inclusion of gender as an important factor in bisexuality... or any sexuality. What we can see is people doing their thing and in whatever way - and combination - that's floating their boat and calling bisexuality anything other than... bisexuality. And insisting that they're not the duck they've been quacking like.

And being a bisexual who was "born" in the mid-1960s, I wonder what the fuck is going on and why so many people have a problem with accepting "bisexual" as the word that accurately describes their behaviors. Or even "gay" as the accurate descriptor but, yeah, non-binary, genderqueer, and any other words/labels that "makes sense" to them... and maybe because the simplest answer - you're gay - is the answer that cannot be right to them but, yeah, non-binary, genderqueer (add a bunch of other labels) is the "real" answer. We've exchanged a simple label - in this case, both "gay" and "bi" for new labels that are more confusing than they are anything else, which is probably making others reject any labels and keeping their own counsel about their sexuality and... it gets even messier.

If you look like a duck, quack like a duck, act like a duck, and insist that you're a brown bear, something is very wrong, and we've been too busy losing our fucking minds over nomenclature to (1) see that something is wrong and (2) do something to settle down and fix it so that we can be as much on the same page as our chosen sexuality allows.

I cruise a lot of different LGBT+ forums and sites......and I am in two minds, 1) one, as you have posted before, people just want to be different and unique or 2) they do not want to be lumped in with other people of the same label / group because of differences in behavior, ( tho its more likely attitudes and opinions ) that they do not identify with

Part of it, is also something else, and that was a discussion about the different variations of bisexual, and one guy posted that he enjoyed males and females but was not into trans people, and promptly got called transphobic.... its using a logic and reasoning that LGBT+ people MUST support everybody else in the spectrum of LGBT+, and if you do not, you are phobic........basically political correctness going out of control, something you mentioned in another post.........

There is also the stances that I see posted a lot by bi females where lesbians will have nothing to do with them and they are told that they can not be bi, they are in a relationship with a male......

Also seen various threads in this site about how calling yourself bisexual, immediately gets people labeled as unfaithful, lying cheaters and how wrong it is because its not true of them themselves, but it is assumptions about them based on the behavior of others that also call themselves bisexual.....and to be honest, how many closeted bisexuals actually say that they are in that class or use reasoning and logic to avoid any negative labels of what they are doing....I am not judging anybody with that, either, just noting that there is the same * avoidance * of some labels that mirror their behavior.....

As for the what is a female / woman issue, yes my partner can relate very well.....she does not ID as female or as non binary, simply to avoid getting into arguments and fights over what a female / woman is, feminism, womans rights etc......and the assumption that because she has a cock, shes trans....

So yeah in a way, for me, its more about avoiding drama, fights and arguments when people use labels other than bisexual...and often I see the statement of they prefer to ID by a different term such as MSM, WSW, people that have sex with other people, rather than say they are not bisexual, yet its others that say NO you are bisexual, to say otherwise is bi erasure and internalised bi phobia.....and the most common place I am seeing the fighting, is on social media, and its a constant......

and yes I very much agree with your last statement......but how do you * fix * a society that has the stance of follow the * rules * we make for others that we can not follow ourselves, and think that acceptance, tolerance and understanding is a one way street.........lol

[Jazminedress]

@Long Duck dong...............is bi phobia a thing now ? I just havent heard that term used really yet.

I have come close when I made statements that the most hate I have personally dealt with, was from the lgbtq community itself. I had mentioned before, I went to a conservative Republican rally dressed, just to see what would happen. I had women asking me where I bought some things, everyone saying welcome, maybe one or two giving me a look, but thats it.

Whereas recently in a few known gay bars that cater to the younger crowd, I was treated like shit, not even subtle, it was blatant and stated. An older crowd gay bar, mostly didnt care. IMHO people who are Bi in the LGBTQ community, it seems the opinion is, yeah, we need you for the numbers and it is politically correct to welcome you, but sit down and STFU until we need you, you really arnt one of us.

I think much of that is our fault, and society, The gay community for the most part is accepted, everyone understands it, it is there, it is only fairly recent that all the hollyweird people come out as Bi (I think for many its an attention thing, like look at me), but the reality, other than porn, the discussion is only starting. As time marches on, I think we will find more Bi people than hetero or gay

[Long Duck Dong]

@Long Duck dong...............is bi phobia a thing now ? I just havent heard that term used really yet.

I have come close when I made statements that the most hate I have personally dealt with, was from the lgbtq community itself. I had mentioned before, I went to a conservative Republican rally dressed, just to see what would happen. I had women asking me where I bought some things, everyone saying welcome, maybe one or two giving me a look, but thats it.

Whereas recently in a few known gay bars that cater to the younger crowd, I was treated like shit, not even subtle, it was blatant and stated. An older crowd gay bar, mostly didnt care. IMHO people who are Bi in the LGBTQ community, it seems the opinion is, yeah, we need you for the numbers and it is politically correct to welcome you, but sit down and STFU until we need you, you really arnt one of us.

I think much of that is our fault, and society, The gay community for the most part is accepted, everyone understands it, it is there, it is only fairly recent that all the hollyweird people come out as Bi (I think for many its an attention thing, like look at me), but the reality, other than porn, the discussion is only starting. As time marches on, I think we will find more Bi people than hetero or gay

Yes, sadly it is.. its commonly aimed at lesbian women who will not date bisexual women, for what ever reason....... it also extends to any person that avoids dating a bisexual person for what ever reason........and its similar to the stance that if a person does not want to date trans people, they are transphobic, tho that often uses the reasoning that what is between a persons legs, should not matter when it comes to dating and intimacy......

My stance is that its those peoples right to decide whom they date and we should respect that right, even if we do not agree with their dating choices, in the same way that we want people to respect our right to date whom we want, even if its the town reject......and the right to make an informed choice and decision, is also the right of each person and that includes knowing if the genitalia does not match the gender.......and yes actually posting that, has resulted in me being told I support phobic haters

As for the animosity in the LGBT+ community towards others, I have seen decades of it, and also decades of LGBT+ people denying that they are acting just like the people they are speaking out against......even when we were fighting for same sex marriage rights in new zealand, the bi community was told that their support and voices were not needed because they already had the right to marry.......well yeah, a opposite sex partner, not a same sex partner.......

Ironically I stood for marriage equality for all, regardless of race, gender or sexuality, even tho I have never wanted to marry.....and I coped endless abuse, insults and even had some people try to assault me ( big mistake, I am a army vet, former street fighter and also trained martial artist ) but the majority of it all came from within the LGBT+ community.......

[chtampa]

Don't really get the label thing. Is it a need to belong or a need to be different. This is John, he is a Ford guy. This is Chris, she's an alcoholic. I prefer, this is Chris and John.

[Jazminedress]

Yes, sadly it is.. its commonly aimed at lesbian women who will not date bisexual women, for what ever reason....... it also extends to any person that avoids dating a bisexual person for what ever reason........and its similar to the stance that if a person does not want to date trans people, they are transphobic, tho that often uses the reasoning that what is between a persons legs, should not matter when it comes to dating and intimacy......

My stance is that its those peoples right to decide whom they date and we should respect that right, even if we do not agree with their dating choices, in the same way that we want people to respect our right to date whom we want, even if its the town reject......and the right to make an informed choice and decision, is also the right of each person and that includes knowing if the genitalia does not match the gender.......and yes actually posting that, has resulted in me being told I support phobic haters

As for the animosity in the LGBT+ community towards others, I have seen decades of it, and also decades of LGBT+ people denying that they are acting just like the people they are speaking out against......even when we were fighting for same sex marriage rights in new zealand, the bi community was told that their support and voices were not needed because they already had the right to marry.......well yeah, a opposite sex partner, not a same sex partner.......

Ironically I stood for marriage equality for all, regardless of race, gender or sexuality, even tho I have never wanted to marry.....and I coped endless abuse, insults and even had some people try to assault me ( big mistake, I am a army vet, former street fighter and also trained martial artist ) but the majority of it all came from within the LGBT+ community.......

Its like calling me blonde phobic, I prefer women with darker hair, I always was attracted to it

[csreef]

@Long Duck dong...............is bi phobia a thing now ? I just havent heard that term used really yet.

I have come close when I made statements that the most hate I have personally dealt with, was from the lgbtq community itself. I had mentioned before, I went to a conservative Republican rally dressed, just to see what would happen. I had women asking me where I bought some things, everyone saying welcome, maybe one or two giving me a look, but thats it.

Whereas recently in a few known gay bars that cater to the younger crowd, I was treated like shit, not even subtle, it was blatant and stated. An older crowd gay bar, mostly didnt care. IMHO people who are Bi in the LGBTQ community, it seems the opinion is, yeah, we need you for the numbers and it is politically correct to welcome you, but sit down and STFU until we need you, you really arnt one of us.

I think much of that is our fault, and society, The gay community for the most part is accepted, everyone understands it, it is there, it is only fairly recent that all the hollyweird people come out as Bi (I think for many its an attention thing, like look at me), but the reality, other than porn, the discussion is only starting. As time marches on, I think we will find more Bi people than hetero or gay


I used to (Past Tense) belong to an LGBT Center years ago. When they had events (Before Covid) I would go and participate. The third time I went to an event, members of the Board of Trustees were there talking to people, asking how they could make the center better, ect. One member (who was a Butch Lesbian) came over to me and started to talk to me. After a few minutes she asked how long I'd been gay. I replied that I was Bi. She started this rant on me, telling me that I'm just deluding myself and "Deep Down" I was gay. Needless to say, I don't associate myself with them anymore! :bibounce:

[KDaddy23]

Anyone who has ever insisted that I should admit to really being gay... gets summarily ignored. So many bisexuals feeling some kind of way because they're being subjected to biphobia at every turn and, again, one of those first things I learned growing up bi is that others can throw the gay word at you and call you all kinds of names, etc., but the only way such ignorance can affect you is... if you pay attention to it. To gay folks trying to give me da bizness, I'd sometimes say, "I bet you wish I was gay!" or, "When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you!" or "Who the fuck are you to think you know me better than I know myself?"

Or... I laugh at them. I didn't have time for this bullshit when I was younger and I sure as fuck don't have time for it now. Some have said to me that I'm fomenting biphobia by not acknowledging that it is real and, well, I acknowledge that there are many who believe that it is... but I'm not one of them since it's just another form of the rampant homophobia that has afflicted us over all this time and I have suggested to those suffering from biphobia to seek professional help. Bisexuality, as a word, isn't the problem - the problem comes from all those people who don't believe that it's real and those who are of a mind to let their fears run their lives.

[Jazminedress]

Bisexuality, as a word, isn't the problem - the problem comes from all those people who don't believe that it's real and those who are of a mind to let their fears run their lives.

Thats the part I find funny, we know there are women banging guys and other women, we know there are men banging guys and women.....................................to me, its sex, its 2 different genders, how can they deny its not real ?

I mean, even if you aregue we are kidding ourselves, we are still doing it, so therefore it is. Its like arguing whether the sun is real

[Long Duck Dong]

Its like calling me blonde phobic, I prefer women with darker hair, I always was attracted to it

I have been called transphobic because I disagreed with a trans person,
homophobic for supporting marriage equality and not just marriage for gays and lesbians,
anti trans because I disagree with JK rowlings opinions but refuse to abuse and insult her,
traitor to my kind because I do not like trump as a person but refuse to abuse and insult him....
Anti LGBT because I do not support the LGBT+ on a lot of things such as abusing and insulting other people
Supporting bi phobia because I do not condone cheating
Supporting bi ereasure because I do not oppose people using labels that suit them
Supporting internalised bi phobia if a person does not call themselves bi.....

then there is fat shamer, racist ( I am actually bi racial and proud of it ) sexist ( because I am male ) misogynist ( for suggesting that women can behave as badly as men ) anti feminist ( actually I support equal womens rights, I just disagree with some modern feminists )........

But the real fun is this one, I am privileged ( wealthy and white, therefore have never dealt with intolerance and discrimination ) but opposed, dealing with discrimination and intolerance because I am in a sexual minority, rejected by society and lacking in support because I have a mental illness.....etc........

Its how I ended up saying * I am a complete asshole, just ask anybody that does not know me *, and * let me check FB to see what I am wrong for, today * lol

and believe it or not, YES I have seen people accused of discrimination against blondes because those people apparently think blondes are stereotypical * blonde *...I would have thought it was satire or a joke, but it was actually a NZ news site opinion piece.....I may joke about people playing the * victim card * but at times I swear some people are actually using a whole deck of them, lol

[Neonaught]

I am who I am. I like what I like. I have done what has been done and will certainly be doing more in the future. If someone feels they need to slap a label on me to set their world in order then knock yourself out. I don't care!

[KDaddy23]

Thats the part I find funny, we know there are women banging guys and other women, we know there are men banging guys and women.....................................to me, its sex, its 2 different genders, how can they deny its not real ?

I mean, even if you aregue we are kidding ourselves, we are still doing it, so therefore it is. Its like arguing whether the sun is real

They can because it doesn't fit their self-perceptions, like, the many times I've talked to people and bisexuality, well, that's not something that they'd do because they don't believe in homosexuality. You can tell them that, um, people have been bisexual like forever; you can show them the evidence of this and, intelligently, they understand what you're telling and showing them... but. It conflicts with religious dogma and it "makes sense" to riff about bisexuality since we keep riffing about homosexuality and once someone makes up their mind to not accept any of this, good luck trying to convince them that they've drank the Kool-Aid and like a lot of people have. But, of course, there is one way to convince them...

[Cum1st]

I'd like to expand on this topic, but my thoughts don't linger long enough to hunt and peck them out.

Is closeted a subcategory? If so I am Bi / Semi-closeted.

I like sex with women, but don't seek them out as experience has shown that my and her emotional weakness will effect my happy marriage. OTOH, sex with men isn't a second choice...

I haven't taken the time or concentration required to understand all the intricacies of the new terms, and what they might say about me.

I'm enjoying this discussion. For the record, I am Bi.

(edited, reedited, and polished by Cum1st. My wife edits my works more important than my opinions)

[Long Duck Dong]

I'd like to expand on this topic, but my thoughts don't linger long enough to hunt and peck them out.

Is closeted a subcategory? If so I am Bi / Semi-closeted.

I like sex with women, but don't seek them out as experience has shown that my and her emotional weakness will effect my happy marriage. OTOH, sex with men isn't a second choice...

I haven't taken the time or concentration required to understand all the intricacies of the new terms, and what they might say about me.

I'm enjoying this discussion. For the record, I am Bi.

(edited, reedited, and polished by Cum1st. My wife edits my works more important than my opinions)

if you said to me, bi and semi closeted, I would read it as bisexual and selective on who knows that you are bisexual.....but I would ask what you meant by sex with men is not a second choice.....

Generally that would say to me that sex with men is also not an option, and let you decide how much detail goes into that answer....

[querty]

Don't really get the label thing. Is it a need to belong or a need to be different. This is John, he is a Ford guy. This is Chris, she's an alcoholic. I prefer, this is Chris and John.

Exactly

[Cum1st]

if you said to me, bi and semi closeted, I would read it as bisexual and selective on who knows that you are bisexual.....but I would ask what you meant by sex with men is not a second choice.....

Generally that would say to me that sex with men is also not an option, and let you decide how much detail goes into that answer....

Yes there are people I confide in, or have figured it out, or suspect.

It would cause difficulty, maybe temporary, maybe not, for me to come out, and I have no need to proclaim, "I'm queer." Many have positions on sex not stemming from reason, but from conditioning. I believe LGBTQ people disserve equal rights, but, cold as it sounds, it's not my fight.

Sex with men, and sex with women each have their perks and negatives. The only thing that tips the balance between the two for me is continued, mutual happiness at home.

Can't have it all, but we can strive for happiness.

[Jazminedress]

"I'm queer." Many have positions on sex not stemming from reason, but from conditioning. I believe LGBTQ people disserve equal rights, but, cold as it sounds, it's not my fight.

.

I agree, and respectfully disagree on some. I dropped out of the more political discussion, as I feel the majority of people would not appreciate my political slant, and honestly, the argument isn't worth upsetting my day over. I don't believe you are cold, I believe you are simply saying, you have options and you chose not to be in this fight (I could be wrong of course). I also dont feel the need to shove my sexuality or anything in peoples faces, why would I ?

The people that need to know, know, the ones that don't probably dont know much about anything else in my life either

[Long Duck Dong]

Yes there are people I confide in, or have figured it out, or suspect.

It would cause difficulty, maybe temporary, maybe not, for me to come out, and I have no need to proclaim, "I'm queer." Many have positions on sex not stemming from reason, but from conditioning. I believe LGBTQ people disserve equal rights, but, cold as it sounds, it's not my fight.

Can't have it all, but we can strive for happiness.

I actually hear those types of statements mirrored in many peoples words......in NZ we have all the rights, and for many the fighting is over, now they just want to be happy and get on with their lives.......and to be honest, for them it often means cutting ties with the majority of the LGBT+ and / or avoid LGBT+ groups and sites online......the good thing with that, is they are not alone, there are many others that are the same way.... and echoing the words * not my fight *.....

I agree, if you are content with your life and how it is. then so be it......... too many times I have seen families, relationships and friendships ripped apart by other people who push their own agenda on others, then just walk away when it all turns to shit......

[KDaddy23]

"It's not my fight." It's a sentiment I've heard before and one that even I've said at times because I don't believe in fighting over something that doesn't make sense to be fighting over. People are bisexual and if you don't like it, you just don't like it and you can fuss and argue about it all you want to... and it changes nothing. I've heard about the LGTBQ+ infighting about bisexuals not really belonging because we're not fighting for the same things, like equality and they're not wrong about that since it doesn't make sense to fight over something we, as bisexuals, already have - and probably the source of that "straight privilege" nonsense that just can make one say that they have no dog in this fight and, well, y'all go ahead and fight over this - I'll be over here and continuing to be bisexual no matter how the fight turns out or ends.

[Piobear]

Labels only serve to arbitrarily define and divide us, but without them, I'd never get my mail.