Playing games??

[Herbwoman39]

I have GOT to know if it's just me. I've been out of the dating arena so long I don't know if this is par for the course or if I'm just not interesting enough.

I've had great conversations with people, then they give me their emails. We write back and forth a few times and then they stop writing. I don't want to write them after that because I don't want to come off as needy or clingy. I'm just getting really tired of this crap. Am I alone here?

I feel like I'm being rejected either 1)because I don't want to just jump into something or 2) I have no idea.

This sucks :(

Little help?

[couplewantsu]

Hi there,
I read your message. I too understand what you are taking about. I don't think it is you, I think some not all ppl are just not into what they say they are into... I have found that ppl say what you want to hear but are really just not serious about it... I hope that helps you understand it a bit more... I agree with you i don't like the GAMES PPL PLAY TOO :)

[citrus]

.......
I've had great conversations with people, then they give me their emails. We write back and forth a few times and then they stop writing........Do you have telephone conversation or personal -in person- conversation? :)

[mistymockingbird]

While its true that some people may stop writing because they aren't really into what they initially say they are, there are other reasons. Perhaps they find themselves interested more in someone else and so messages to you take a back burner. Perhaps something completely unrelated to relationships has popped up and they need to focus on that.

If people are writing you off because you don't want to jump into anything too soon, are they really the people you'll be sorry you missed out on? I don't think so.

It just takes time and lots of trial to find the right folks. Not very comforting words, but true.

[BiDragonfly]

I agree with M, but will take it a step further...if they are dropping you because you don't want to rush into anything OR if they are just leaving you hanging and leaving you to wonder wtf??? (very inconsiderate) than I'd say they are probably not the one(s) that you truly want to pursue a relationship of any kind with. Just my :2cents: .

BUT, keep on keepin' on hun, the right person is out there, we just have to weed through a lot of wrong ones sometimes.

Good Luck and Big Hugs....BiDragonfly :flag1:

[couplewantsu]

So very true Misty. I have had ppl that i have talked too in person and on the internet it is true that things come up and have for me too, but i do try to get intouch with them and let them know what is going on at that time. Honesty is really the best thing for everyone.

[Icecreamcone69]

This happens to me ALOT. I guess I am one of the few who like to know someone and feel some sort of connection and attraction before going any further. I can't do wham bam thank you ma'm. I guess it depends on what the person is looking for. If they want quick, meaningless sex, then they don't want to take the time to email. I read Craigslist quite often and you see ALOT of postings saying I don't have time for emails back and forth.. I want it NOW! Sorry, but I am worried about diseases and worried about whether or not the poster is a MAN. I was in an LTR with a woman for quite a long time. She moved away and now I am in search of. Sometimes it is SO discouraging. I guess I don't understand why someone wouldn't want a friendship with benefits. At least there is more of a chance the person is disease free when you take the time to actually KNOW THEM. Is no one else worried about catching something, even practicing SAFE SEX isn't 100% effective. I hate when someone just stops writing and disappears. Why can't they just say hey, I am more into this other person, or I really want it NOW and I can't wait to know you? At least if it hurts initially you can move forward knowing you've had closure. Again, I am probably dreaming..lol But I guess some day I will find someone who wants what I want, with all the millions of women out there, I'd hope there would be a like-minded soul. So no, I can definitely say on my end it's not just you.

[miamiuu]

What I really cant stand is when people give you thier number without you even asking for it and when you call dont bother returning messages. I've had some people say i'm to eager which alot of times i think is bs because if you have interest in someone why not show it some. Ive really stopped putting as much effort and figure if it happens it happens.

[wanderingrichard]

yeah, what they said..and toss in the sometimes immediate demand to "turn on the cam and cyber" that most of us usually reject cause it just aint us..

anyways, dont fret ..continue to be yourself and let the others figger out it's their loss

[Herbwoman39]

Thank you all for responding so far. It's reasuring to know that I'm not alone out here. :)

Citrus: There was one sweet lady I talked to on the phone and we met for lunch and shopping in person. She never called me back or contacted me again but with her I'm almost positive that her regular life has her by the throat so I'm not going to push it with her.

MM: Like you said, it's not very comforting. But it IS a comfort to know that I'm not struggling with this alone.

BiDragonfly: Thanks for the hugs sweetie. I really appreciate it. When are you going to put up a profile? I, for one, would like to know you a bit better and I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Thanks again to my friends and family here. (((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))

[citrus]

Thank you all for responding so far. It's reasuring to know that I'm not alone out here. :) .......
..........Thanks again to my friends and family here. (((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))A lovely hug. Your a wiser woman. :)

[ambi53mm]

I have GOT to know if it's just me. I've been out of the dating arena so long I don't know if this is par for the course or if I'm just not interesting enough.


Online-based relationships are always a challenge as are, relationships where time and distance become a factor. Needs, wants, and expectations are always being evaluated at any given point in time for all parties involved. Circles I ran in a few years ago may change and in some situations the time can extend back over a lifetime. Case in point, a buddy that I had an extremely close relationship with through out college moved to California. We lost contact for almost 28 years and then located one another again. We talked on the phone and exchanged Email for a few weeks which finally culminated with him flying out for a week . IT WAS AN AWESOME WEEK!! He flew back we exchanged a few more conversations and emails and now we’re resigned to Xmas cards once a year. If he lived within driving distance we would probably hang together frequently but time and distance has become a factor.
One thing that “online” does offer is variety, which can lead to opportunities. You can meet on a given night more people than you can shake a stick ( or whatever LOL) at. That evaluation process becomes honed and all variables can usually be ascertained. Interest seems to go in stages. Sometimes it can be arrested in a conversation or a few Emails but I’ve seen it extend to meeting someone several times under a variety of circumstances only to hit that point of eventual disinterest. Something somewhere along the line just doesn’t click to the point of continuing on. It can happen to anybody ourselves included
You have a very explicit and interesting profile and in reading several of your posts it becomes apparent you are a very open and caring person. You are very specific in defining your limitations under your current circumstances and for some that don’t take the time to read your profile or know you in this way then it’s their issue, you can’t fault yourself. It’s not a matter of you not being interesting but maybe them coming to the conclusion that they aren’t able to maintain an interest for whatever the reason. Time and distance can work as close as next door. If I don’t hear back from someone long enough I move on and expect if they don’t hear from me they’ll do the same. Sometimes it seems easier to let things fade than to be blunt and to the point. Hang in there. Somewhere beats a kindred heart. :)

Ambi :)

[anne27]

It's not just you, hon. I started talking to a really nice gal on another site a while back. We hit it off fabulously, had lots in common, and she gave me her phone number within days of us first chatting. I called a couple of times, got her voice mail and never heard back. We keep on talking online and she asked me out. I agreed, but when the time got closer, she had something come up. Happened three times. The last time we connected online, she apologized and said "I really want to meet you. Please don't give up on me!"
I didn't tell her, but I already had.

You will meet the right person, though. You just have to hang in there.

Good luck!

[sammie19]

I once began a relationship with someone on line and we exchanged phone numbers and emails etc. After a while we agreed to meet. She was very nice and was good fun. We met one weekend and spent a lovely day and night together. Upon saying goodbye we agreed we would see other again but after then I found myself telephoning,texting and sending emails which were never replied to. Eventually I found myself blocked and in the end after a week or so just gave up on her. I assumed she was married or had a partner and that she had her fun and I was just to be cast aside as a conquest. It was never my intention that we would or could become serious about one another but I dont like people who use and abuse others trust and feelings. I saw her once on the platform of a railway station as my train passed through and had a feeling of total indifference. I like people and like to be friends with them, even ex lovers, but her kind I think I could do without. She had played real games with me and in the end it was a lesson that took seriously to heart.

But lets be honest. While cyber relationships do have their dangers, similar things do happen to relationships which are begun in night clubs or any other form of socialising. People can be cruel and do often hurt and abuse the trust of others however they meet and however long they have known each other.