What does it take for you to want to have sex with a person?

[miamiuu]

Just wanted to see where the vibe was on the board at. As for me I would never do the one night stand thing. I guess I have to find them attractive looking, and get comfortable with them before I would even consider anything with a man, or woman. I always felt like if you hardly know the person you could have a better time masturbating to some smut movie lol. Anyway I'm curious what it takes for some of yall to sleep with someone.

[mistymockingbird]

Depends on what I'm looking for, to be perfectly honest. As shallow as it sounds if its a fuck buddy or a one night stand, then you have to be physically attractive cause there's probably not gonna be a whole lot of conversation.

If its a friend with bennies or more, then I'm more into your personality. Looks are nice, but secondary. You have to be able to stimulate my brain as well. This is especially true for cyber and phone sex partners since you don't have as much to go on. Phone sex partners have to have a good voice. I've had some great cyber partners that just didn't work on the phone.

[Herbwoman39]

Heaven help me, I'm an old fashioned kind of gal. (Yeah, I know old fashioned + bi = HUH??) I want to know you first. I want to know who you are at heart.

There won't be one nighters. I've done that enough when I was younger and I'm done with it. I just want someone I can cuddle up...what am I saying here? That's all in my profile! LOL!

Anyway, anyone I sleep with, I have to have a mental and emotional connection with. Physical looks mean very little. As long as you take care of yourself (take a shower regularly, comb your hair, etc), that's great :)

[citystyleguy]

i never have nor ever will do a one night stand; the closest to that concept that i and friends have come has been to share a single night among one another, but then we know where we go and what we do, at least amongst the members of our very tight and close group.

i have a some friends that do one night stands, of varying occurences, and have expressed interest in me, but they now know what it takes to achieve that kind of intimacy. some changed, others not, and though still good friends, i know just how important i rank in their pantheon of importance.

do i flirt? hell, yes; as to how far we get, well it runs about a third each; those who stay for the final act, those who share a few brief moments within the parameters set by me, and those who walk away! to those who make a big deal about, i tell them that's what doors are for, leave and dont let it smack you in the rear!

your question shall prove interesting as to responses!

[Lorcan]

I'd have to have several one-on-one conversations, and we'd have to click on a several levels for me to want to go to bed with them. Visual attraction is a plus, being that if you are very pretty, i could skip a couple conversations and a couple "clicks". :rolleyes:

Oh... and it also depends how horny i am. :bigrin:

But then, wanting to go to bed with someone and doing it are two different things... being i have a life partner already.

[Herbwoman39]

I have to put up an addendum to my previous reply. I recently found out that Drew Barrymore is Bi. I've also been watching the first Charlie's Angels movie tonight. Now HER I would do a one-nighter with :bigrin: I'd still like to get to know her a bit first though.

[pasco_lol_cpl]

We have had one night stands and we hav eha drelationships. But the common theme in all of them is that there was indeed some sort of connection beyond just the physical attraction or horniness. There has to be some sort of spark, commonality of ideas, desires, wants. We have to be able to communicate on some level and find interest in more than just the physical.

[DiamondDog]

Facial/body hair, and masculinity. I cannot get it up for a cleanshaven guy or any guy who is not dripping masculinity.

Seriously though it's based on, some sort of attraction physical/emotional/intellectual/spiritual/chaotic (i.e. we're both at the right place in the right time at the right moment for each other).

I have tricked and while I don't do it a lot, mostly just on vacations or if I'm introduced to a friend of a friend/s and we hit it off, I know that somewhere down the road I'll find a certain guy (I don't hook up with het women) and do it again.

I'm not that promiscuious and if I do anything with a stranger it's usually safer things like kissing/making out, mutual masturbation, BDSM, or rubbing around.

[innaminka]

I'm quite open about it - I do One-Niters.
What do I look for?
1) Gotta be female. :female:
2) I've gotta be horny. :tong:
3) Both parties understand the nature of the encounter. - No Follow-ups in a romance type way. :eek:

I may sound callous - but I know I'm honest.

As far as what do I look for....???

She's proabaly around my age - preferably bi, but soft lesbian who tolerates bi's is fine.
Pretty intellectual. In between, I do like to talk.
Sense of humour - not negotiable.
Not an egotist.

That's just about it. The physical thing works itself out.

Don't damn me for what you don't know.

[gentlepen9]

Anyway I'm curious what it takes for some of yall to sleep with someone.

Wanting to sleep with someone and actually doing it is two different things for me. First of all I wouldn't even consider it if I didn't find the person physically appealling. But to actually get me into the "act" well, that takes time and a wonderful personality. A good sense of humor, friendliness, open-minded, intelligent, romantic and trustworthy are some basic characteristics that appeal to me. Even though I like to take my time getting around to hopping in bed, I have to say a woman would probably have a shorter wait with me than a man. :tong:

[pervertedpeople]

We have had what you can call "One night Stands" But it was always with friends that we have known for years, and drinking was involved along with a lot of sexual tension. I have only had One one night stand with some one I didn't know and she was a friend of a friend.... As far as meeting a stranger this is the closest we have come, putting an add on here. :female:

[happyjoe68]

I'm an old fashioned sort of person, well to a certain degree.

Although my body and heart has ached for love and affection, and even been really really desperate for someone's touch, I've never wanted a one-night stand because I know that it would make me feel worse. This is not to say that I have not had them, or close physical contact (not necessarily penetration), but it leaves me wanting more, even though I knew it wasnt on offer. Like many people I have mistaken what my body wanted for what my heart wanted too.

I dont want to have sex, I want to make love with someone who stirs my heart and soul ... There are so many things I could list, but the person I've fallen in love with knows what they are without me having them to list them for her

[canuckotter]

I definitely start with a physical attraction, but even talking with someone for a couple minutes, my perception of their personality really changes my rating of their attractiveness. Arrogant, self-obsessed people I probably couldn't get it up for if my life depended on it. ;) Someone who's sweet and caring definitely gets to me... But there's a certain type of sensuality that I occasionally come across that just hits me like a punch to the gut when I notice it... People with that kind of personality can have me purring just looking at me in the right way.

So... yeah. personality = primary. Physical appearance is still a strong component, but personality has a bigger impact.

[ambi53mm]

These days ...a half of hit of viagra :bigrin:

Ambi :)

[redhead1]

I am involved with plenty of one-nighters. I'm not ashamed of it. I like sex and people find me attractive. To have a one nighter there has to be physical attraction. The person has to be able to speak in complete sentences and have expressed a well formed thought or two. That is about it. A lot of my one nighters are more about the particular situation and less about the person. One thing I have found is that I do not do one nighters with women. Only men -- unless it is a male/female couple. My one nighters are typically arranged online, so I have a much better idea of the person than if I picked up a stranger at a social event.

For me to have sex with another female without a male involved, I really need to have some kind of emotional/intellectual connection as well as physical attraction.

I don't know what that says about me. Some people have told me that I use men and don't use women others have told me that my pickiness with regard to women makes me straight and only faddishly bi. I think neither is true; I just have different areas of attraction for men and women.