Scams and risks ?

[dowmass]

I am a closeted bi that has stayed safe and discreet.


That said, can I get ideas as to how someone can remain discreet, and safe, especially when responding to replies on sites like Double list, Adam4adam or Squirt? What precaution would one take if he was a married bi, and in the closet? What scams and threat to personal safety should one be aware of?


Thank you for your responses. This will make me more knowledgeable and also inform those who are about to meet a stranger for the first time. Thanks in advance!!

[Jozyxt]

Here are some of my opsec procedures


I do all my computer time on a VirtualBox virtual machine hosted on my Windows machine. Running Linux Mint OS. Any snooping or attacks will not find my main machine. I make occasional back ups of the virtual machine so I can delete the main machine if it gets compromised.


I use a separate gmail username with a name that is unrelated to anything to do with me and there is no phone number associated with the account. Unfortunately this leaves me without two factor security.


For mobile browsing and email, I use an old phone with no sim card. It is tethered to my main phone for internet if needed. For texting and calls, I have a VOIP phone number app on my main phone. So there is no record of the text or call outside the app and the number can?t be traced to me by a simple search. You can use Google Voice effective for this but with somewhat less security.


I rarely give out a face pic. Only for out of town meetings. For locals I suggest a public meeting spot and if they don't want to go further, then no hard feelings. I have a dick pic that shows my mid section so guys can get a good idea of my proportions. With that and my weight, they should be able to tell is I am too big for them.


Never let yourself be "sucked in" to giving you primary hone number because that will give everything away. If the guy is super hot and wants a real number, it is a scam.

[Blmbiguy]

I use the private browsing mode on my phone. I will not give out my phone number. I never give a face pic if local, if I am traveling I may. I never give out my home address. If guys are really wanting to hook up for sex, they will understand.
There have been a number of guys on A4A that seem to be trying to gather personal information lately. Not sure what’s going on there, but they get to be pretty easy to recognize when you start chatting.

[Jozyxt]

There have been a number of guys on A4A that seem to be trying to gather personal information lately. Not sure what’s going on there, but they get to be pretty easy to recognize when you start chatting.

That is where I have had trouble too. SD has the least. DL seems to have dick pic collectors but that's not much of a risk as long as the photos are stripped of location data.

Which reminds me, striping photos of the meta data before sending them is crucial.

[Neonaught]

That is where I have had trouble too. SD has the least. DL seems to have dick pic collectors but that's not much of a risk as long as the photos are stripped of location data.

Which reminds me, striping photos of the meta data before sending them is crucial.

I have noticed this too on Adam4Adam over the last couple of years. Most of the one's I have come to recognize for what they were are Russians even though they may sometimes show as being from elsewhere. The first question is always "What's your name?" I just immediately block them and move on. Some of them are GRU (Russian Military Intelligence) and I suspect the rest are just regular hackers/scammers looking for a victim. Be aware and take common sense precautions. When in doubt just block them.

[SilkyHoseLover]

Which reminds me, striping photos of the meta data before sending them is crucial.
Some sites -- FetLife is one -- do that for you. But it's simple enough to do that one should probably automatically make that the first step after transferring the photos to a computer for upload.

[dowmass]

Some sites -- FetLife is one -- do that for you. But it's simple enough to do that one should probably automatically make that the first step after transferring the photos to a computer for upload.

Do you have to strip a photo of metadata every time? If I strip a picture of meta data, and save it, would that be sufficient ?

[Jozyxt]

Do you have to strip a photo of metadata every time? If I strip a picture of meta data, and save it, would that be sufficient ?
Yes one process is enough. Mostly you need to remove the location data that many phones include in the photo. If you open it in most computer based photo apps and resave it should be cleaned. But it is always good to check.

An iPhone has the ability to remove location data in the Apple Photos app.But taking away the camera information, like the type of phone that took the photo, in an outside app is a good idea anyway.

[DLazguy]

I'd say for both of you to meet in a public place. Describe what you'll be wearing before you meet so you can see if you know each other from a distance. Hopefully you don't know each other and the sucking and/or fucking can commence. I've wanted to do this, but no one wants to put in the effort. They want a face pic. Just what I need, a gay friend of my wife telling her that I'm looking to hook up with another guy and showing her my pics.

[Jozyxt]

Just what I need, a gay friend of my wife telling her that I'm looking to hook up with another guy and showing her my pics.


I have thought about this some. I thought that if I use a photo of me that is on the web, it might be more plausible to deny it. OTOH, a photo already on the web could be attached to me with a reverse image search, and blow my anonymity. So I used a very generic photo taken just for the purpose in portrait mode so the background is out of focus. And I decided that if my wife confronts me, I won't lie to her and will come out of the closet at that time.

[int0everything]

I just had a guy try to extort me on Adam4adam when I was out of town on my last business trip. We talked for a long time and he seemed pretty legit till we got to exchanging cell phone numbers. Lucky for me I was utilizing my Google Voice number which is not traceable back to me and only to a burner email account. Pretty scary in the end. Funny thing was it wasn't even in a big city, but pretty much a small town with few people to choose from. Lot of good advice on this thread.

[Jozyxt]

I just had a guy try to extort me on Adam4adam when I was out of town on my last business trip. We talked for a long time and he seemed pretty legit till we got to exchanging cell phone numbers. Lucky for me I was utilizing my Google Voice number which is not traceable back to me and only to a burner email account. Pretty scary in the end. Funny thing was it wasn't even in a big city, but pretty much a small town with few people to choose from. Lot of good advice on this thread.

A4A, you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. All I have gotten for the past 6 months are people from out of town or out of country. I may just delete the account.