The perfect storm...I'm defenseless. What would you do?

[BeauKnerr]

OK, I've got a situation here that I don't believe I have the willpower to resist.

It has been nearly 8 years since I have sucked a cock. In the 5+ years leading up to that point, I had a string of one-off encounters, a few of which I enjoyed but most of which didn't live up to the fantasy. For that reason, along with having gotten married since then, I believed that my days of exploring cock were over. However, the fantasy of sucking cock has returned and only grown stronger in the past couple of years. I've connected with some guys online and toyed with the idea of meeting up, but never went through with it as the logistics were never convenient, so it was easy to "behave" and believe that I was just doing that to stoke my fantasies.

Fast forward to this week. I had made a post on Doublelist a few weeks ago to see what might come of it, not expecting it to amount to anything real. I had forgotten about it when out of the blue, I got a response yesterday and in chatting with the guy, he checks every single box on my list. He's divorced and mostly "straight", only has relationships with women but enjoys receiving head from guys since he says they do it better and doesn't reciprocate. (Check). He sent me some pics and he has an incredible looking cock and balls, all nicely shaved/trimmed. (Check) He also told me that he shoots huge loads -- like up to ten "ropes"; I've never had a heavy cummer but it's been a huge fantasy for me. (Check). He used to have a regular cocksucker and would really like to have that again -- another big fantasy of mine. (Check). He enjoys slow, sensual blow jobs, not rushed. (Check) I found his Facebook page and he's a decent looking, clean cut, seemingly pretty normal guy. Although I'm not attracted by guys' looks (it's about the cock), I am repulsed by guys who are nasty looking, unkempt or creepy. (Check). And for the clincher, the dude lives about 10 min away, literally on the way to the gym I go to. (CHECK!) So my imagination begins running wild and I'm envisioning a scenario where, once, twice, or more times a week I'm headed off to the gym and on the way, I pull into his neighborhood, give him a mind-blowing blow job and take his massive load, and then go to the gym energized by my pre-workout protein shake.

I'm defenseless here. This could be just too easy...there's got to be a catch. We've tentatively agreed to meet in a couple of days. I'm afraid I'm going to go through with it and enjoy it a bit too much. I've got butterflies thinking I may be at his place in a couple of days, kneeling before him, about to devour his manhood.

So, let's hear from you guys.... either talk me out of it or hold me accountable for going through with it! What should I do?

[KDaddy23]

Well, only one way to find out if he's for real or if there are any catches. What scares you about going through with it? Then, what would allay those things? Yeah, if it sounds too good to be true and all that but if you don't see it through, how would you know? I know if guy checked all of my boxes (not that I have a lot of them), I'd check him out just to satisfy my curiosity and, at the very least, I get to suck some dick.

[silkyheels]

Oh heck yes do it, never look a gift horse in the mouth, JUST open yours

[Fzmr9t]

If I found someone that checked all of the boxes, I?d be all over it!

[Lucky 61]

An enviable problem indeed!

[BeauKnerr]

Well, only one way to find out if he's for real or if there are any catches. What scares you about going through with it? Then, what would allay those things? Yeah, if it sounds too good to be true and all that but if you don't see it through, how would you know? I know if guy checked all of my boxes (not that I have a lot of them), I'd check him out just to satisfy my curiosity and, at the very least, I get to suck some dick.

Most of my "concern" has to do with the fact that I'm married and in the "bi closet". My wife has very strong negative views on any flavor of LGBT, etc and she has particular distain for bi-sexual people. Any time I might have been tempted over the past several years to actually meet someone, there were other considerations that served as deterrents (impractical schedules, no place to meet, geography, etc), and when those temptations would pass, I was "relieved" that I could still say that I had never fooled around on her. This time, there are no logistical obstacles in the way and the allure is just to too strong to resist. So, the odds are that I will, indeed meet this man and once it happens, there will be no stopping me from becoming his regular cocksucker and wanting it as often as I can get it. On one hand, it will be a thrill of a lifetime; on the other hand, I will have to come to terms with my duplicity. Of course, every time he feeds me one of those huge loads, it will all be worth it, right?

If I weren't married, I'd be at his place sucking him at this very moment with zero reservations.

[Jozyxt]

Most of my "concern" has to do with the fact that I'm married and in the "bi closet". My wife has very strong negative views on any flavor of LGBT, etc and she has particular distain for bi-sexual people....If I weren't married, I'd be at his place sucking him at this very moment with zero reservations.

You have a marital problem of being married to a woman that is adverse to who you are. I am not sure how anyone here can address that.

[KDaddy23]

Most of my "concern" has to do with the fact that I'm married and in the "bi closet". My wife has very strong negative views on any flavor of LGBT, etc and she has particular distain for bi-sexual people. Any time I might have been tempted over the past several years to actually meet someone, there were other considerations that served as deterrents (impractical schedules, no place to meet, geography, etc), and when those temptations would pass, I was "relieved" that I could still say that I had never fooled around on her. This time, there are no logistical obstacles in the way and the allure is just to too strong to resist. So, the odds are that I will, indeed meet this man and once it happens, there will be no stopping me from becoming his regular cocksucker and wanting it as often as I can get it. On one hand, it will be a thrill of a lifetime; on the other hand, I will have to come to terms with my duplicity. Of course, every time he feeds me one of those huge loads, it will all be worth it, right?

If I weren't married, I'd be at his place sucking him at this very moment with zero reservations.

Yes, that is a problem and a very major one a lot of guys have. This is why you contemplate risks versus rewards. Is getting this guy worth fucking some shit up for you? If the answer is no, don't even go there and no matter how tempting it is. Because at the end of the day, you have to live with yourself and deal with the consequences of your actions that might show up. Tough decision to make in this situation... but I know men who have not only made it but were able to justify to themselves why making it was in their best interest. If you can't, then don't. Doesn't get any easier than this. But if you do, can you live with it?

[BeauKnerr]

You have a marital problem of being married to a woman that is adverse to who you are. I am not sure how anyone here can address that.

I'm sure a substantial share of the members here are in precisely the same predicament.

[csreef]

I would just go and meet the guy. I feel sorry for you that you are married to a narrow-minded bigot.

[BeauKnerr]

I would just go and meet the guy. I feel sorry for you that you are married to a narrow-minded bigot.

Thanks. I’m feeling like it’s inevitable that I’ll meet the dude. It’s just too good of an opportunity to pass up. As for my wife, yea that sucks. She’s highly sensual, kinky and sexually adventurous, so you’d think she’d be open-minded about shit like this, but no…hell no.

[BeauKnerr]

Yes, that is a problem and a very major one a lot of guys have. This is why you contemplate risks versus rewards. Is getting this guy worth fucking some shit up for you? If the answer is no, don't even go there and no matter how tempting it is. Because at the end of the day, you have to live with yourself and deal with the consequences of your actions that might show up. Tough decision to make in this situation... but I know men who have not only made it but were able to justify to themselves why making it was in their best interest. If you can't, then don't. Doesn't get any easier than this. But if you do, can you live with it?

Thanks. And yes, you?re exactly right as to the calculus involved. The challenge lies in whether the big head or the little head is running the spreadsheet and assigning weights to the variables. Lol But yea, major potential implications, which is why it?s such a conflicting issue.

[csreef]

Thanks. I’m feeling like it’s inevitable that I’ll meet the dude. It’s just too good of an opportunity to pass up. As for my wife, yea that sucks. She’s highly sensual, kinky and sexually adventurous, so you’d think she’d be open-minded about shit like this, but no…hell no.

I'm sure her outlook would be different if she had her Pussy eaten out by a woman. :rolleyes: :2cents:

[BeauKnerr]

I'm sure her outlook would be different if she had her Pussy eaten out by a woman. :rolleyes: :2cents:

I think you?re right. She does love to be eaten out and I could see her conceding to allow another women to do it to her if that turned me on. But I don?t think that would change her views on m2m contact, which she finds revolting. I?ve learned this by seeing how she reacts to simple things. As an example, for any Ozark fans out there, she recoiled in disgust during the few scenes where Russ Langmore and FBI Agent Petty were getting it on, exclaiming, ?Why do they have to have this gay shit on here??. And now I?ve noticed, out of the corner of my eye, that she watches me to see how I react to such scenes, as if she?s gauging whether I like it or not. It?s as if she suspects something, even though I fuck the living daylights out of her pretty much every day. She equally watches me for clues of interest in other women. I think she?s just very insecure.

[Jazminedress]

I think the answer is easy.............are you ready to lose your marriage ?
I get some of the answers against her and her views, but the reality, there was enough about her you married her, you made a choice at some point that the positives outweigh the negatives.

So you have the years of marriage at risk, for an hour of something that could be. The only person who can decide the value of that, is you, not any of us. The only real discussion, and I mean no offense, are you willing to be honest with yourself as to the answer.

I could see myself finding a woman that giving up the way I am to be with her, I would do it.............but that would be the correct answer for me, not necessarily you.

I wish the best to you

[BeauKnerr]

I think the answer is easy.............are you ready to lose your marriage ?
I get some of the answers against her and her views, but the reality, there was enough about her you married her, you made a choice at some point that the positives outweigh the negatives.

So you have the years of marriage at risk, for an hour of something that could be. The only person who can decide the value of that, is you, not any of us. The only real discussion, and I mean no offense, are you willing to be honest with yourself as to the answer.

I could see myself finding a woman that giving up the way I am to be with her, I would do it.............but that would be the correct answer for me, not necessarily you.

I wish the best to you

Thank you. You made some great “no bullshit” points, which prompt me to wonder “WTF am I doing? ”

[SlowNEZ]

This sounds like the perfect scenario, and will be very difficult to resist as time goes on.
Jasmine?s input notwithstanding, I would have great difficulty resisting this opportunity.
Keep us posted OK?

[licyou69]

Got a response to an ad on the same site from a guy that checks my boxes. Married, straight, decent shape, nice looking cock. Problem is he works from home and so does his wife, so the urge hasn't hit him strong enough to sneak out of the house to "run an errand" yet. Been several months and I'm still daydreaming about being on my knees as his cock slides past my lips. I keep in touch every so often but haven't been able to get him here.

[Neonaught]

I agree with the others that this seems a golden opportunity and I suspect you may have a hard time passing it up without being plagued by lasting regret. Why should your full enjoyment of life being held hostage to her antiquated prejudices? If you establish an ongoing thing with this guy and are very discrete about it how does that take anything away from her? Sounds like it's time to do an impartial cost/benefit analysis and draw some conclusions. I used to be in the same boat but not in decades now and we're both still married and into year 36 so it can be done. Let me know if I can offer any advice and good luck!

[BeauKnerr]

This sounds like the perfect scenario, and will be very difficult to resist as time goes on.
Jasmine?s input notwithstanding, I would have great difficulty resisting this opportunity.
Keep us posted OK?

Thanks and I will certainly post any updates!

[BeauKnerr]

Got a response to an ad on the same site from a guy that checks my boxes. Married, straight, decent shape, nice looking cock. Problem is he works from home and so does his wife, so the urge hasn't hit him strong enough to sneak out of the house to "run an errand" yet. Been several months and I'm still daydreaming about being on my knees as his cock slides past my lips. I keep in touch every so often but haven't been able to get him here.

Yes, that's typically how it's played out for me. There have typically been logistical complications that have made it impossible or just too inconvenient which, as I noted, served to keep me from acting out. But occasionally the stars line up like they seem to have for me in this case. Hopefully they will for you too.

[BeauKnerr]

I agree with the others that this seems a golden opportunity and I suspect you may have a hard time passing it up without being plagued by lasting regret. Why should your full enjoyment of life being held hostage to her antiquated prejudices? If you establish an ongoing thing with this guy and are very discrete about it how does that take anything away from her? Sounds like it's time to do an impartial cost/benefit analysis and draw some conclusions. I used to be in the same boat but not in decades now and we're both still married and into year 36 so it can be done. Let me know if I can offer any advice and good luck!

You're right... if I were to pass this opportunity up, I'm sure I'd be kicking myself down the road. This dude and I have tentatively agreed to meet tomorrow afternoon. At this point, I fully expect to hold up my end of the deal. Hopefully he will as well. I'll post an update either way.

[Warren63]

I would love to suck a cock, right now I don't think my wife would be adverse to me doing it,as that and me being fucked by a guy is what I whisper in her ear as we make love ,and gets her massive orgasms. I would go for it if you think it won't end your marriage. If he reads this,I would love to suck biChazmans cock!

[BeauKnerr]

I would love to suck a cock, right now I don't think my wife would be adverse to me doing it,as that and me being fucked by a guy is what I whisper in her ear as we make love ,and gets her massive orgasms. I would go for it if you think it won't end your marriage. If he reads this,I would love to suck biChazmans cock!

Wish my wife were as open-minded as yours. I really can’t complain because she’s a sexual dynamo with an off the chart sex drive who likes to do lots of kinky shit. But unfortunately, she didn’t come with the bi-friendly option — worse yet she came with the bi-hostile package. Give your wife a high five for me. : )

[Jazminedress]

This sounds like the perfect scenario, and will be very difficult to resist as time goes on.
Jasmine?s input notwithstanding, I would have great difficulty resisting this opportunity.
Keep us posted OK?

Its always okay when we disagree, having different opinions and listening to each other is how we grow as people

[Woodsdweller]

You can drive yourself crazy trying to figure out 'yes' or 'no.' Relax and turn off the calculator for a while: neither try to make it happen nor resist it if it's perfect. You may find that right as you're about to turn in to his place you just don't, or you may find yourself driving there without consciously deciding to do it. The ideal is to just have sucking a friend's cock as part of your normal course of life, right? That means it's easy and no big deal. If it becomes a big deal or requires huge effort and emotional angst to keep doing it, then what's the point?

As for risk to your marriage ... again, if it's chill and part of your normal routine, then it won't ever come up. Your wife can sense if your emotional core is distracted from her, but if you're interested in cock just for the cock then she's still your emotional center. If it becomes so important to you that it takes you literally away from your home, then that's another story and suggests something else entirely.

[SlowNEZ]

Its always okay when we disagree, having different opinions and listening to each other is how we grow as people

Jasmine, I wholeheartedly agree with your post about the risk to the marriage of a dalliance. (That is the main reason that I remain a bi-virgin).
However there are times that, if the ideal opportunity as described in this thread became available, it would be very difficult for me to resist the urge to give him a try.
So, I support your admirable opinion, and also recognize that human desires can become overwhelmingly strong.

[Jazminedress]

Jasmine, I wholeheartedly agree with your post about the risk to the marriage of a dalliance. (That is the main reason that I remain a bi-virgin).
However there are times that, if the ideal opportunity as described in this thread became available, it would be very difficult for me to resist the urge to give him a try.
So, I support your admirable opinion, and also recognize that human desires can become overwhelmingly strong.

That is the kicker isnt it, seems to be no matter the orientation

[happystick]

this can have no good outcome.
I suggest you send him my email address:
vikingsdontcare@hotmail.com (vikingdontcare@hotmail.com)
!!!!

[BeauKnerr]

this can have no good outcome.
I suggest you send him my email address:
vikingsdontcare@hotmail.com (vikingdontcare@hotmail.com)
!!!!

You’re too late. I already sent him to honeybadgerdoesntgiveashit@fuckoff.com.

[phalluster]

I like a lot of men on here am in the same situation. Only difference is my wife is not a sexual dynamo. She once had a relationship with a guy who turned out to be gay so would not be OK (even after 33 years together) with me having a desire to suck cock. Like you I met a guy online who would be perfect but I don't think it would be right to meet him. For you - best wishes whichever way it goes and let us know the outcum!

[NJwood]

You have a marital problem of being married to a woman that is adverse to who you are. I am not sure how anyone here can address that.
I?ll second this comment. You are bi and you fell into a relationship with a woman who has a particular disdain for bi people. That?s you! I made sure when I got involved seriously with my wife to be that she knew I was bi and that was acceptable to her. Not that it was acknowledged and then restricted. In your case, you?ve created the very circumstances that you now face, by not revealing a key aspect of your sexuality, whether you would act on it or not, you?re in a moral dilemma when the opportunity presents itself.
I, like you, am interested in the cock. My wife knows that and all she wants is that I tell her about my ?dates? and schedule them as to not interfere with our time together.
Now, you either go ahead and live with the consequences of your actions or give up on your desires.

[querty]

So Beau, did you meet this person?

[BeauKnerr]

So Beau, did you meet this person?

Drumroll......No I did not meet the dude. The perfect storm petered out before it made landfall. Thanks to all for the feedback. Here's what happened....

Feeling that it was likely inevitable, I thought I'd test fate, so I reached out to him to see if we could set something one afternoon last week when I had some time. He was slow to respond, so I missed that window of opportunity. Had he responded, I probably would have gone for it. But in the meantime, based on some info he provided, I found something he had posted online that indicated that he may be into more risky activities than I initially thought. So, I began having second thoughts and based on some additional correspondence, I wasn't convinced he was being straight up with me, so I'm letting it die. Furthermore, the guy seems a little careless. Although he avoided sending identifying face pics, he provided me enough clues for me to be able to confirm his identity and addresses (he has two places in the area). One of his photos even contained a geotag! :yikes2: He's not married, but he's definitely not out, so someone with sinister intentions could really mess with this guy. Those people are out there.

So, once again, even though I was hot to trot, I'm now feeling relieved that I was forced to stay out of trouble. But, I'm sure the temptation will present itself again at some point.

[KDaddy23]

BeauKnerr, please define "more risky activities" for me if you don't mind?

[BeauKnerr]

BeauKnerr, please define "more risky activities" for me if you don't mind?

My original impression of the guy was that of a divorced, ex military, otherwise "straight" guy who only was interested in receiving blow jobs. Turns out the guy has a sex sling at his house (I saw photos), is into kinky clothing fetishes including wearing pantyhose and he offers to bottom. I'm not judging that behavior, but I do have a make a judgment call for what risk I'm willing to take, and these things suggest may be in a higher risk class than simply receiving oral. I doubt he uses the sling bolted to the ceiling for entertaining females! Could be wrong, but better safe than sorry.

I should note that I'm a bit gun shy from a couple of past experiences in which guys held themselves out as married guys simply looking for head, only for me to later to discover that they were indeed 100% gay and fooling around behind their partners' backs, including bareback bottoming in one case. Fortunately, there were no adverse consequences. Nothing against guys being gay, but that is not my target audience. Twice bitten, thrice shy.

[BeauKnerr]

BeauKnerr, please define "more risky activities" for me if you don't mind?

My original impression of the guy was that of a divorced, ex military, otherwise "straight" guy who only was interested in receiving blow jobs. Turns out the guy has a sex sling at his house (I saw photos), is into kinky clothing fetishes including wearing pantyhose and he offers to bottom. I'm not judging that behavior, but I do have to make a judgment call for what risk I'm willing to take on, and these things suggest he may be in a higher risk class than simply receiving regular oral from a limited number of partners, as he initially suggested. I doubt he uses the sling bolted to the ceiling for entertaining his girlfriends from Match.com! Could be wrong, but better safe than sorry.

I should note that I'm a bit gun shy from a couple of past experiences in which guys held themselves out as married guys simply looking for head, only for me to later to discover that they were indeed 100% gay and fooling around behind their partners' backs, including bareback bottoming in one case. Fortunately, there were no adverse consequences. Nothing against guys being gay, but that is not my target audience. Twice bitten, thrice shy.

[Rest85]

Whew! I won't try to talk you out of it, nor will I encourage you to go through with it. I don't think I could resist. Every one of the boxes you checked would also be part of my checklist. Damn. It does sound too good to be true, but I'd sure have to find out!
I could possibly resist the temptation if it wasn't for the 'shoots big loads...like up to 10 ropes'. What a perfect checklist!
But...the thought of being treated to all that cum....I'd be such a sub for that alone!

[BeauKnerr]

Whew! I won't try to talk you out of it, nor will I encourage you to go through with it. I don't think I could resist. Every one of the boxes you checked would also be part of my checklist. Damn. It does sound too good to be true, but I'd sure have to find out!
I could possibly resist the temptation if it wasn't for the 'shoots big loads...like up to 10 ropes'. What a perfect checklist!
But...the thought of being treated to all that cum....I'd be such a sub for that alone!

Oh yea. At first, it sounded like I might have found the Holy Grail....the mother "load". But alas, the guy turned out to be a bit flaky (per above) and things didn't pan out. If I'm going to take the risk nowadays, it's got to be as much of a low-risk, sure thing as possible. Otherwise, I'll just stroke to BJ porn when I get the urge. I used to be able to suck myself off, which was the ultimate way to satisfy the urge in a pinch, but the back doesn't flex quite like it used to.

[Jazminedress]

100% gay and fooling around behind their partners' backs, including bareback bottoming in one case. . Nothing against guys being gay, but that is not my target audience. Twice bitten, thrice shy.

I guess it is somewhat easier for me, generally gay men have zero interest in me, usually the guys interested in me are truly bi, or bi curious and its an easier transition with me than with a "Male" friend

[BeauKnerr]

I guess it is somewhat easier for me, generally gay men have zero interest in me, usually the guys interested in me are truly bi, or bi curious and its an easier transition with me than with a "Male" friend

Interesting dynamic, but I can see how that could make sense for many. I once had an opportunity to explore a CD/MTF scenario but it didn?t do anything for me to my surprise. Maybe it was just a bad experience, but more likely I think it was that if I were going for feminine, I would have just rather had a full-on cis woman. The idea of being with a guy has a very different, although narrow, appeal for me, which has more to do with his masculinity than his femininity. Different strokes for different folks. But I love hearing about the different perspectives and desires in this forum, whether or not they coincide with my mine.

[Jazminedress]

Interesting dynamic, but I can see how that could make sense for many. I once had an opportunity to explore a CD/MTF scenario but it didn?t do anything for me to my surprise. Maybe it was just a bad experience, but more likely I think it was that if I were going for feminine, I would have just rather had a full-on cis woman. The idea of being with a guy has a very different, although narrow, appeal for me, which has more to do with his masculinity than his femininity. Different strokes for different folks. But I love hearing about the different perspectives and desires in this forum, whether or not they coincide with my mine.

Makes sense, we are all different in many degrees

[papasmurph]

I would absolutely go for it. To heck with your bigoted wife. You can only go so long holding yourself so tightly wrapped in your closet with these desires. It's a pressure cooker. Too good to be true - that mode of thinking usually plays out as exactly that... too good to be true and it wasn't true. I'm glad you went far enough to fing that out. However, on the off chance you find another guy, and all he wants from you is a regular blow job with max discretion - there is just nothing wrong with that in my book.

[CockHummer]

Are you fucking crazy! That sounds like heaven on earth, and you're asking whether you should back out of it. I suspect a large number of us who read that are going to be envious and horny as hell at the same time. I like 69, but I am perfectly happy just going down on a guy with a nice dick who doesn't want to return the favor. Just remembering the sights and feelings of sucking another guy's cock will get me horny for ages, and I always fantasize more about the experience of having another guy's hard penis in my mouth fucking my throat than I do about having had another guy blow me. As wonderful as that can feel, it in no way compares to the wonderful sights, sounds, and feelings of going down on another guy's hot cock, and if he's gonna produce masses of cum you can savor, are you kidding or just using this question as an opportunity to show off and make us all envious as possible. I would give anything for a relationship just like that!!! I just found an image of a really sexy fat cock on line leaking pre-cum, and I came hard jerking off imagining I was you with your new friend, and he was feeding me a ton of cum after I had the pleasure of sucking his gorgeous dick. Yum!!!

[Rick469]

I'm also on double list, I wish I had that problem. But it seems like many are on there to just bust a nut. Not a problem, but I'd like to find that one FWBs so I didn't have a starving crave. This way we could've hung out and enjoyed eachothers regularly... Socially N sexually.

Good luck on your choice either do it or don't..... Just DON'T regret