Fear of STD's and how you deal with it.

[Sensualhunter]

I am wondering how you guys deal with the fear of getting an STD when you meet a new person you want to make a FWB? I was with another MWM years ago after my divorce, which was great, but this fear has held me back from actually meeting some other MWM's I have met online here or on other sites.

It would be great to know how some of you deal with this. I would love to have another man inside me again and be passionate with them but this fear is stopping me in my tracks...

[Christopher South]

Depends how risk tolerant you are. When I started I would only do covered BJ's but I eventually stopped using condoms for oral since I was willing to accept the risk. For anal, I've only let one guy bareback me and he gave me HPV so it's always condoms for anal now.

[Sensualhunter]

A covered blowjob just sounds so, well not fun. But I do understand why you did it. So you can get an STD from sucking a cock? I guess it sometimes comes down a bit to if you trust the person on the other end of the computer. I would love to barebacked but that is one thing I know for sure is I want them to have a condom on when they are inside me.


Depends how risk tolerant you are. When I started I would only do covered BJ's but I eventually stopped using condoms for oral since I was willing to accept the risk. For anal, I've only let one guy bareback me and he gave me HPV so it's always condoms for anal now.

[KDaddy23]

I deal with it because I can understand the science of it. Made it my business to learn about STDs and how they can present themselves and how something like chlamydia can have no visible symptoms but can cause a guy to have flu-like symptoms. I know what to look for. I live by the rule that when in doubt, do nothing. I "don't worry" about it all that much. Anything's possible but, knock on wood, I've been at this since I was nine and I have never caught anything nasty because, again, I know what to look for and I trust my instincts more than what some guy will tell me. My doctor knows that I'm bisexual and I do get tested for STDs and HIV and if he happens to forget to check those boxes on my lab paperwork, I'll do it which, um, kinda pisses him off but I'd rather piss him off in order to make sure I'm as safe as I believe that I am. And he's really okay with me taking this level of responsibility for my health and any guys I might get with.

I can't do anything about anyone else in this but there are things I can do to make sure I don't get infected and if I get the slightest hint that you might not be as healthy as you say you are, nothing is going to happen. I even know there's a flaw in the testing. You get tested, it comes back negative but that doesn't mean that you can't get infected after the fact. All the results mean is that at the time you were tested, you were clean. But, the day after, eh, you might not be and you don't even have to get some "strange dick" to have that happen; you can get a yeast infection from a woman and that, too, is an STD. Sex is risky. It always has been. You're either going to accept the risks and take all the precautions you can - including using condoms with anyone - or you're not going to be willing to take and accept the risks. Worrying about them - and excessively so - will just wear your brain out but being aware of them and learning the signs that can be seen is a good thing to get into.

Shit, I'm more worried about getting hit by a stray bullet than I am catching an STD... and I know this is just me.

[bikurinpa]

I am wondering how you guys deal with the fear of getting an STD when you meet a new person you want to make a FWB? I was with another MWM years ago after my divorce, which was great, but this fear has held me back from actually meeting some other MWM's I have met online here or on other sites.

It would be great to know how some of you deal with this. I would love to have another man inside me again and be passionate with them but this fear is stopping me in my tracks...
First thing, I dont seek guys at road side rest stops, parks and public bathrooms or even bother with someone who seeks those. I look for someone who wants to take the time to get to know and trust eachother FIRST. I also avoid guys who have a username on sites that screams!

[Neonaught]

Depends how risk tolerant you are. When I started I would only do covered BJ's but I eventually stopped using condoms for oral since I was willing to accept the risk. For anal, I've only let one guy bareback me and he gave me HPV so it's always condoms for anal now.

Monitor your health if you have had HPV! Getting that caused me to get cancer in my mouth and neck that did it's best to kill me twice. Most doctors no longer test for HPV since over 85% of the population would test positive. Most people get the virus and their immune system beats it without them ever knowing they had it but several viral variants cause head and neck cancers in men and cervical cancers in women. There's also the types that just cause genital warts.

[tommyswing]

There are a number for std's you can get. I did a lot of research, and it's very difficult to get HIV from sucking a cock. I did a search cases of HIV through oral sex, and it's extremely rare.In theory it's possible, but in legitimate study's it doesn't happen. However they are many other nasty ones out there you can get from oral. As for anal, that's very dangerous w/o a condom. I love to bottom, but never have allowed a raw cock in me.

[swvsucker]

I am sure someone will rush to tell me how stupid I am, but I don't worry about it. I have walked away from a few situations where it just felt wrong (like the guy who wanted a BJ and had a gorgeous cock, then started telling me about his days of heroin abuse), but if all things seem good, I go with it. I love sucking cock and eating cum and I am not going to stop doing it for fear of a possibility of an STD anymore than I am going to quit driving because I am afraid of dying in a car crash.

[Neonaught]

All of life involves some degree of risk. You could get hit by a crashing airplane while stepping out of the tub tomorrow. LOL

The key is controlling the risks you take.

[KDaddy23]

"The key is controlling the risks you take."

Exactly. You learn to trust your instincts and they'll tell you if something that sounds good doesn't feel right and you never, ever let a guy pressure you into doing something your instincts are telling you not to do... but don't let your fears "do all of the talking." Like Neonaught said, you stand a better chance of getting hit by a car while you're sitting in your living room; that's a risk that's real but not something anyone really thinks or worries about and no more than you think about the risk you take getting in your car and driving anywhere... but you are also aware of the risks so, yeah, the key is controlling the risks you take and having an awareness of what those risks are.

And then, having fun with a dick and, yeah, cover them up in a condom to further control any potential risks. It's just me but I don't fear that which I understand and I understand the risks and I pick and choose the moments to take those risks and if something's not right, again, nothing is going to happen and no matter how badly I'd want it to. I've had more dick that I really care to admit to... but what I've never had is an STD.

[nu2curious]

This thread reminds me of another where this subject came up and points the need for FWB's in a huge way. I agree they're hard to find so the next best thing is protect yourself with a flavored condom , that's the only way I'd suck a guy off that I didn't know really well. BTW it's too bad most guys wouldn't tell you up front if they had an STD for fear of rejection thus opting to imperil the very guy who wants to give them something really special.

Safe is better than sorry.