I am new here....

[KChsnyFan4Life]

My name is Julie I am a female from AZ. I am 21. I am in a Het. relationship but since I was 12 I've had some sort of feelings for females but I did not understand at first what this was. I already had feelings for men.....as time went on the feelings got stronger and stronger. Back in Jr. High when we used to get dressed for PE. It would turn me on to see the girls undress. At first I did not understand what it was then as time gone on the feeling grew and grew so I looked it up to figure out what I was feeling.....Bisexuality.....But I hid it for a long time because I was tortured in Jr High and High School I didnt want one more thing on the list to torture me about. Well I am out of High School now it's been almost 2 years and the feelings are even stronger than before....I have talked to my mom about this she says it is hormones....but I really do not know....

So, here is what made me really think....My dreams when I sleep at night consist of being laid by a female, boobs, naked body, and everything else that goes with it. But then either that night or another night I will dream Im being laid by a sexy man....

I really like the sexy look of a naked womans body as well as a naked mans body.....

I fight myself a lot because Ive grown up to know it's wrong to be this way...but I cannot help myself to feel this way. I have been confused a lot lately because sometimes I dont feel like being with a female when I want to be with a male but when I want to be with a female I dont want to be with a male....also when I get horny...and go to take care of it myself I can visualize being with a female or visualize being with a male just depends on what I feel at that moment......

When I feel for a female I want to act a little more manly but when Im with a male I want to act a littl more femalish....

Ive spoke to my mom but she says I am just soooooooo horny it isnt even funny......I really do not know....any advice?? please!!

[canuckotter]

"It's just hormones"... that's funny. :rolleyes: So's any sexual attraction. What a silly thing to say. :)

Anyway, you sound very much like a bisexual woman to me. Very few bisexuals have a specific mix of desire for male vs female that lasts very long... Most of us find our attractions fluctuating randomly and sometimes wildly. It's not uncommon to alternate between wanting only a man and wanting only a woman, and it's also not uncommon to find that satisfying one craving doesn't do a damn thing about the other -- no matter how frequent and how fantastic the sex is with a man, your desire for a woman won't change at all. Not everyone experiences that, but many do.

Really, there's no one way to be bisexual. You are who you are, you want who you want, don't get hung up on labels or putting yourself in a box. Human sexuality is extremely fluid and variable; don't let others' expectations keep you from finding out who and what you are.

As for knowing "that it's wrong to be this way"... How else should you be? :) It's common in certain Christian groups to point to homosexual (and bisexual) behaviour as evil and immoral and declare loudly that this sort of thing is what's causing the decay of society. What I've found over the years is that the groups that believe that and shout about it a lot tend to be made up of the kinds of people who, if they want to know why society is falling apart, should spend some time looking in a mirror. Christians who are actually trying to make the world a better place generally have better things to do than worry about who's sleeping with who unless they're directly involved. :)

Anyway. Sorry if this isn't making sense, I'm just dropping in very briefly on the board and am probably not very coherent. Other people on here will probably jump in, and they're very helpful and wonderful people.

Oh, and before I forget: Welcome to the site. :bigrin:

[DiamondDog]

"It's just hormones"... that's funny. :rolleyes: So's any sexual attraction. What a silly thing to say. :)

Anyway, you sound very much like a bisexual woman to me. Very few bisexuals have a specific mix of desire for male vs female that lasts very long... Most of us find our attractions fluctuating randomly and sometimes wildly. It's not uncommon to alternate between wanting only a man and wanting only a woman, and it's also not uncommon to find that satisfying one craving doesn't do a damn thing about the other -- no matter how frequent and how fantastic the sex is with a man, your desire for a woman won't change at all. Not everyone experiences that, but many do.

Really, there's no one way to be bisexual. You are who you are, you want who you want, don't get hung up on labels or putting yourself in a box. Human sexuality is extremely fluid and variable; don't let others' expectations keep you from finding out who and what you are.

I agree. You sound bi to me. I have dreams about men and women and even both at the same time. Also my attractions sometimes do fluxuate like crazy and I don't really have any control over them.

I've been all over the place in my attractions to the point where I've had periods where I thought I was gay or where I thought I was het but I know that I'm neither. This even has happened as recently as 6 months ago. I don't worry about it as it's not something I can control and I know now that it's not a "phase" which was what everyone told me it was when I was younger.

I've had sex with a woman and thought about men, and had sex with men and thought about women. I didn't do it on purpose, sometimes it just comes out of left field.

A friend of mine told me how sometimes you just have to think about subconsciously, or just do what your sexuality/desires are at the time.

Don't let people try to define you or pressure you. Our society has some really fucked up views around sexuality and gender and I think its best to try to figure out what feels right for you.

Welcome to the site!

[bigregory]

Really, there's no one way to be bisexual. You are who you are, you want who you want, don't get hung up on labels or putting yourself in a box. Human sexuality is extremely fluid and variable; don't let others' expectations keep you from finding out who and what you are.
Oh, and before I forget: Welcome to the site. :bigrin:[/QUOTE]from Canuckotter


There are no rules.
Enjoy what comes your way.

[coyotedude]

I have talked to my mom about this she says it is hormones....but I really do not know....

I fight myself a lot because Ive grown up to know it's wrong to be this way...but I cannot help myself to feel this way. I have been confused a lot lately......


Hi, Julie! Just have a few comments, for what they're worth....

First, if you're in your early 20's, then I have no doubt that your hormones are raging. That is completely natural and normal; I'd be a little worried about you if you weren't horny as hell. But that's not what makes you bi.

In my experience, women who are completely straight often have raging hormones, too, but they're not fantasizing about those beautiful boobs that keep haunting your dreams.

Second, there's absolutely nothing wrong with being bisexual.

Let me repeat that:

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being bisexual.

I don't know if you believe in God, but I suspect that may be one reason you've been taught that it's wrong to be "this way." If so, think of it this way: God made you who you are for a reason. If people don't like that, well, let them bring it up to the Big Guy themselves. (Yes, I know, easier said than done. And no, I have no clue what the reason is; no one's indulged the secret to me yet.)

Third, there's absolutely nothing wrong with being confused. If you weren't confused right now, I'd be worried about you! Coming to grips with this part of yourself is hard. Trust me, most of the people on this site understand where you're coming from right now because we've all been there.

It takes time and courage to look deep inside yourself and accept what you find there. The fact that you're taking steps now to do exactly that is impressive. Some of us wait for years to finally face our personal truth - precisely because it's hard and uncomfortable and scary.

And I've blabbed on enough. Hope this is helpful....

Peace

[anne27]

Welcome to the site!

I think pretty much everyone here has gone through what you are going through now, Julie (that's my daughter'd name, too!). Confusion and random shifts of our sexual desires from one sex to the other is just part of being bi for a lot of us. It does get easier. Accepting yoruself for who you are, whether it be straight, bi, or gay or somewhere in between is the beginning of the path to peace of mind.

Best of luck to you!

[KChsnyFan4Life]

Thank you everybody....I feel better knowing what I am but I guess it just frustrates and makes me mad I cant control the way I feel...see it as I like control over certain things....and being at this horny age it just makes it 10 times worse....

I have talked to many majorly STRAIGHT females and they NEVER even when they are horny NEVER once feel the way I feel about a naked females body or boobs......but we are always on the same page about a male....

I feel the same way everyone of you described.....

[Tynary]

Hey babe. welcome nice to meet you. well you deffinetly sound gloriously bisexual to me. and was as horny as you since I was 12 and have never stopped being tha way. yeah I spoke to a few str8ts and even high sexed ones thought bout the same sex. It was weird to me that they didn't.
In what way were you brought up to think bisexuality is wrong? religiously? socially?
If its wrong I dnt wanna be right. well actually I like being a bit bad somethimes haha. na I'm pretty much good as gold in alot of peoples mind and my sexuality is just me.
You sound awsome and sexy and a great girl. If you still like girls in ur 20s then hell yeah u probs bi. oh and i lv ur name. Julie. how pretty.

[DJ Triad]

Well said CoyoteDude! :)

Welcome to the site KChsnyFan4Life.

[KChsnyFan4Life]

Hey babe. welcome nice to meet you. well you deffinetly sound gloriously bisexual to me. and was as horny as you since I was 12 and have never stopped being tha way. yeah I spoke to a few str8ts and even high sexed ones thought bout the same sex. It was weird to me that they didn't.
In what way were you brought up to think bisexuality is wrong? religiously? socially?
If its wrong I dnt wanna be right. well actually I like being a bit bad somethimes haha. na I'm pretty much good as gold in alot of peoples mind and my sexuality is just me.
You sound awsome and sexy and a great girl. If you still like girls in ur 20s then hell yeah u probs bi. oh and i lv ur name. Julie. how pretty.

yes, I was.....I talk to my mom and she keeps saying she dont see me like that when I look at a female I dont blush or anything like I do for males....she dont see the manorisms or anything.....I really do not know anymore ughh....

[canuckotter]

yes, I was.....I talk to my mom and she keeps saying she dont see me like that when I look at a female I dont blush or anything like I do for males....she dont see the manorisms or anything.....I really do not know anymore ughh....
Just like you have different interests in men and women, you can have different reactions to them. So even if you're the type to blush and turn shy around men, that doesn't mean you're going to blush and turn shy around women. I've seen that before. Hell, I am that way... I was the most ridiculously shy guy around women (luckily my wife wasn't shy at all!) but around guys I find attractive, I stay pretty confident and normal. So... yeah. Your mom means well, I'm sure, but as well as she thinks she knows you, she's not the one living in your head. ;)