Me, bi & a way forward? Maybe . .

[ukmale32]

For some time I use to watch str8 porn films or look at str8 porn with a friend. Over a period of time we use to masterbate each other. But that was it. One night after we'd both drunk a lot of beer & been watching some porn. I fell asleep naked. I woke to find him sucking me. It felt good & so I went with it. Enjoyed it at the time. But felt dirty & guilty. Was I gay?

It really bothered me, so I decided that I should suck him to see if this was what I wanted or not. I was curious - but thought nobody else other than he or I would ever know. So I did it. I really enjoyed it & sucked him to ejaculation. I loved it. But I was not attracted to him (and have never been to any man). He is a large guy (penis size) & wanted to have anal sex with me. Something that I never considered before at all - because of his size I didn't let him.

Over the next 3 or so years on maybe 5 occasions I sucked him, or we masterbated. Another time drunk in his spare bed. He fingered me (which did nothing for me at all). I tried using a sex toy on myself (I wonder how close that would be to the real thing) & enjoyed it enough that I would try it once with a man.

I don't like hairy men at all. I should also add that my friend & I frech kissed - but it was not very nice kissing a hairy man lol

I find the idea of sucking another man or being sucked lovely. But feel I am more str8 than anything else. So I've decided that maybe I should try & find a bi couple so that I could be 'eased' into further bi experiences rather than meet a guy for one on one.

The point of sharing this with you - was, are there a) any other people that have been in this situation/similar situation b) are there any bi couples in london/uk/france etc that might like to chat ~ I would travel to meet the right people.

I would also like to have a mmm threesome - or watch from the side lines. Does this make me kinky?

[ambi53mm]

The point of sharing this with you - was, are there a) any other people that have been in this situation/similar situation b) are there any bi couples in london/uk/france etc that might like to chat ~ I would travel to meet the right people.

I would also like to have a mmm threesome - or watch from the side lines. Does this make me kinky?

My explorations with the same sex bares some similarity.Although I had earlier experiences I consider my first experience as taking place one night in a frat house, high as a kite, and after watching porn for several hours. It was a "guys only affair" and I let myself be seduced by someone as horny as I was...and yes the next day the guilt was overwhelming..but I knew in that moment that the excitement and thrill were enough that at some point I would eventually experience that again...we engaged frequently over the next five years..never really talked about it..but it was always on our minds when we saw one another.
I explored a few other things over time with a few other people as well and discovered what I enjoyed and, what I could do without. What you find appealing and what you don't are your preferences. Hairy vs smooth...cut versus uncut.. these question are posed on this board frequently and you'll find that everyone has their preferences. Sometimes arriving at what we prefer is by defining those things that we don't care for. Kinky is realitive. What I thought of as kinky 30 years ago doesn't seem as kinky now. I think you'd find many others that would love to experience a mmm threesome or a MMF threesome. Turning it from fantasy to reality tho can be tricky but "definitely" worth the effort :bigrin: Good Luck in your quest :)

Ambi :)

[ukmale32]

Anyone got anymore feedback or suggestions for me?

[DiamondDog]

I've been in your situation but I did more one on one sex with guys and I had two mmm 3 ways. Sometimes I'll just make out and do mutual masturbation with a guy as sex as it's fun, hot, and safe. I'd like to be with a m/f couple someday and have a boyfriend and girlfriend too at the same time or seperately.

I will admit that the first time I had sex with a guy I was a bit freaked out
afterwards not because I acutally did something I'd wanted to do since I was a teenager; but because I'd picked up a total stranger and had sex with him while drunk. I was very safe though and I was estatic afterwards and kissed him back at the bar and I'm glad I did it and it was the most amazing thing ever and I even enjoyed it more than the one sexual experience I had with a woman that didn't go so well. We kept in contact and saw each other one more time. I'll joke to friends about how that's the night that I first discovered my "bi dar" as this guy is bisexual and we'll joke that it's the night I "officially" became bisexual.

I've had times where I've thought that I'm het and times where I thought I'm gay but I know that I'm neither, and that I've never been het even if society tries to program us into thinking that we are that way.

I do know that it all boils down to the person. I'm attracted to people for things that don't have to do with their gender such as intelligence, humour, personality, communication, our personal chemistry, kindness or other aspects that have more to do with who they are as a person than their gender. The more I get to know a person on a personal/intellectual level the more I'm attracted to them, and turned on by them. I can fall in love with both men and women.

But when gender does come into play I will admit that I'm attracted to men because they're men and women because they're women. I am also very picky I'm a lot more picky with women than men as weird as that sounds. I may want/desire sex/romance with a woman but I don't actually seek it out that often and I don't connect with most women as well as I do with men. This isn't to say that I don't fall in love with women; but for example if I were to marry a woman I'd feel trapped and I'd be unhappy/frustrated and it would feel like I was killing a huge part of myself off. I don't know if I'd cheat but I know I'd think about having sex with men a lot and honestly the only way I'd even consider marrying a woman would be if we had an open relationship.

I've also noticed that I can be fluid in my attractions. I want men, women, both at the same time, or even people who don't identify as "man" or "woman".

I've had sex with a woman and thought about men, and had sex with men and thought about women. I didn't do it on purpose, sometimes it just comes out of left field.

A friend of mine told me how sometimes you just have to think about subconsciously, or just do what your sexuality/desires are at the time. Ideally I'd like to be with both a man and a woman at the same time for a relationship but I don't know how easy this would be. I have no interest in swinging or anything like that. Polyamoury interests me but I'd be very careful who I got involved with that with, as I can get infatuated with people easily.

I can’t really box my sexuality into a number, percent, or ratio; but I just know what I like and what I don’t like. I don't really see myself in ratios/percents in the whole gay/het dichotomy. I just go by the fact that I've been sexually and romantically attracted to both men and women. I've met people who think of their bisexuality in the whole het/gay dichotomy (i.e.-80% het, 80% gay) but I can't do this and I have absolutely no idea how people can come up with ratios like that with something so complex as human sexuality, let alone their own sexuality.

I can't really go by the Kinsey scale, because I've been at different points on it with different people. I don't really go by the Kinsey scale because it just
measures past sexual behaviour, not desire. I have been all over it, and fallen in love with both men and women. I have found that most people rate themselves too low.

The Klein grid makes sense to me but I don't obsess over what my number is, and last time I took it, it said that I was mostly equal but leaned a bit more towards men, and I'd say that this reflects me well.

Don't discount having sex with a guy one on one, unless you're one of those bi guys that only has sex with men when another woman is present. I've found that by trying to limit myself sexually how I'll eventually just ignore my standards and go out and do it anyway. I've met and became friends with lots of gay men that are perfectly fine with bisexuality and even understood it to some extent.

[jazz5]

Guess you can say my experiences kind of started the same way. My buddy and I would watch porn once a week together (although we never did anything together) until he met his future wife. She was the instigator and director of the choreography that then ensued with our MMF relationship because she liked to watch and was getting even with him for comments he made to her, which is another story. Since then there has been no other contact with any other males or couples.

[happyjoe68]

I don't like hairy men at all

Thats me out of the running then ...

[DiamondDog]

Thats me out of the running then ...
Don't worry you can find men into hairy men, just go to a bear bar or look for bears/butch men. ;)