Wrong enviroment

[Tynary]

Don't get me wrong I love being bisexual but I find that the current enviroment I'm in makes it hard being a bisexual, especially for getting into relationships.

I'm still in senior school (high school) and I go to a private school that used to be an all boys school but went co-ed a few years ago. I'm the only girl in my year (the last yr that is almost totally single sex and the other years ahve plenty of girls) I love being the only girl it makes me happy since I deeply prefer male friends.
Its not that I dnt like female friends I do and I ahve female friends outside of school its just I prefer my close friends to be boys and I dnt want any girls taking them away from me. nxt yr many grls will join my yr :(

However despite liking my friends and class it is completely the wrong enviroment for being bi. For starters no guy wants to date me. This could be cas I'm more like everyones m8t and I wanted my m8ts to treat me like a friend so I wouldn't be left out and it worked I'm closer to my male friends than I think any female could ever be with guys. My close friends know I like girls which is good cas it brought me closer to them and we can check out girls together but I feel as if they dnt see me as a woman.

They know I'm a girl sure but not a desired creature in a sexual sense. Perhaps I have caused this by wanting an equal friendship and liking girls has intimidated them.

I cnt get a gf cas there are non and I kno for a fact taht all grls who join a predominantly conservative male society are probably straight and therefore to possible date just competition.

So no gfs and no bfs in current enviroment. Thing is it was my best m8t who made me realise I like guys. So the fact that he checks out other girls and never looks at me sexually burns.
Who else is in an awquard enviroment for getting dates? I dnt want to be thought of as straight cas I dnt wanna be one of those gries in the lower yrs who giggle and hang out with a group of grls and not have the closness with my m8ts. I dnt want to be a lesbian who is treated completely like wanna the guys with no sexual desire. No ones seems to get I want the best of both worlds.

Its a very lonely place sometimes. I'm not even out as bisexual to any one in the skool but my m8ts and still everyone thinks I'm weird so I just feel like hiding sometimes. I live in a world of lonely, invisable, jelous confusion.

[deletetacount123]

I went to a private school as well and always felt lonely, confused and invisible.... MAJORLY had to do with my hearing impairment, I was the only one in a school thats for people that can hear :-)
But people get nervous or scared so they decide its easier to just not have anything to do with me than try to be friends with someone thats hearing impaired.
Only 3 girls ever made an effort and one is still a friend of mine to this day :-)

Although it was well known I wouldn't date in School, I was labelled as a Lesbian..... which was odd cause I didn't date girls either lol But then, I would only mostly talk to girls than guys

But Private school, to me was A LOT BETTER than public schools where I was often the subject of cruel bullying just cause people are cowards when it comes to deaf people :-)

In a way tho... I had it easier... I didn't care if people said I was a lesbian or bisexual, most people even the bullies left it alone, it was just me being hearing impaired/deaf that caused them to bully me more and the fact they knew my feelings are easily hurt encouraged it :-(

I don't think I was much help lol but I do know how you feel with the lonely/invisible in school.
But what I did was just do whatever I wanted :-) I would count till when I was done school.... even made a calender lol

Tasha

[Tynary]

Nice to have someone bin in a similar situation. What sort of hearin' impairment u ave. my grandfather went deaf and it was a huge strain on his life (he is dead now to my sorrow)? how come you nt tlk to boys?
Soz thats my probs wit femlae friends tlkin'. I never understood the desire to ave female friends. I understand femlae lovers easy tho.
u went to private skool to thats cool. my dad wanted putting me in a state skool but I'm too weird I wud ave bin bullied.
Any other odd enviroments?