Making Love to Your Partner or Are You Really Thinking About the Same Sex:

[jazzer]

The idea for this thread came from an earlier thread I posted. A woman felt guilty about thinking about sex with another woman while her partner made love to her.
This question is essentially aimed at people engaged in heterosexual sex with their partner. What are you thinking about during love making? Are you thinking what a great lover he/she is or are you enjoying a fantasy about a same sex encounter that you are not sharing with him/her.
If you are do you feel guilty about it or just enjoy the added sexual stimulation that you get from it?

:)

[innaminka]

When I make love to Dean, I make love to Dean.

At least it is most of the time. I can't claim 100% Just as sometimes, I'm sure every wife has had little fantasies during sex about its not hubby but some gorgeous athletic unknown stud.... yes, sometimes I've let the mind wander and imagined it was a loving lady.

Not because of any dissatisfaction, just the normal way our minds wander so we enjoy the whole thing even more.

[littlerayofsunshine]

A sexy imagination may start my engines, but when having sex, I am all in the moment with hubby. Its about him and me, what feels good, and what could feel even better.

I have roleplayed with hubby as if he were a female though :bigrin:

[cabooseme2]

Well for me it stars out just her and I but as the forplay starts and our chatter starts it will turn into talking about what we would do with a partneer of the same sex. on a few occasions it will be just us and the sex is great but I have the strong desire to be with same sex partner most of the time as that what it takes to get me to orgasam most of the time.

[Lisa (va)]

When I make love to my husband it's him on my mind and how he pleases me and how can I please him. By the same token when I have made love with another woman it is her pleasure on my mind. As far as fantasizing, I save that for solo times.

Lisa

hugs n kisses

[Fire Lotus]

I think or have fantasies about other women. In my alone time, I even really *enjoy* them. But when i'm making love with my husband, that time is all about him and me. I put my whole self into what I'm doing. The same would be true, if/when I'm making love with a woman.

[happyjoe68]

In a previous relationship, when my bi feelings began to resurface albeit to a much stronger degree, I occassionally fantasised about being shared by my ex and another man. But these fantasies were only brief, 5 second visions. But these were as much related to the state of the relationship at that time as to my orientation. I have to say I've not had those fantasies/images since when I've been with someone else in any sense of the word.

I dont think there's anything wrong those fantasies if you are both comfortable enough to explore them at the same time, but repeatedly having them whilst being with someone else might say something about the status of your relationship or your commitment to it. Like other people posting to this thread, the person who I'm with has my full attention. If I like them enough to share my bed and my body with them, then they have my body, heart and soul 100% in bed (and outside of it also).

[Lorcan]

Sometimes in my fantasies he is a woman, and sometimes he is a man, but he is always him. I make love to the soul, but i can fantasize that the body has changed.

maybe is from being reincarnated over and over and over and over and.... :rolleyes:

[Night__hawk]

Wow.. Almost everyone that has posted a reply is married. I get the feeling I'm quite younger than most. But I saw this thread and had to make a reply.

I do tend, once in a while, to think about the opposite sex while having sex with my boyfriend . By all means, theres no dissatisfaction with my boyfriend, but I find it arousing.

Ive never been really been with a female.. dating, sexually.. So I guess you could say I was confused. I do kind of feel guilty..

-Blanks-

~*Newbie*~

[DiamondDog]

I've had sex with a woman and thought about men, and had sex with men and thought about women and transmen (FTM so they are men) too.

A friend of mine told me how sometimes you just have to think about or just do what your sexuality/desires are at the time.

I'm not married either, always been single and had friends with benefits relationships.

[ambi53mm]

Weighing in as another married male I'll say "Yes sometimes I do." My wife sometimes allows herself that freedom as well. We're both bi and have a pretty healthy outlook on sexuality in general. Sometimes a touch or position allows us to role play within the confines of our imagination. It doesn't mean we'd telegraph our thoughts in the moment that it's taking place but sometimes it's fun to pretend. I think it also allows us to in someways express our bisexual nature in a safe way.
When we make love we're focused on one another. When we're enjoying sex we may be focused on one another, or the imaginary friends we invite to join us. We enjoy sex.It's one of the few ways that as adults , we get to have fun and play. :)

Ambi :)

[nulips]

when I make love with my partner, I love the way we treat eachother. I enjoy nakedness and the freedom to be together when we want to. we love to make love where possible.

[Enoll]

As far as fantasizing, I save that for solo times.


Solo times are open for anything haha.

I don't think it's fair to fantasise about another person while
having sex with someone. Unless you're role playing or something.

[mistymockingbird]

When I'm with a partner, male or female, my focus is on that person. If I'm fantasizing about doing something else, I'm sharing those fantasies so everybody's experience is heightened by it, never on the sly.

I'm pretty open about the fact that I'm not the relationship type and that I don't do monogamy very well. I always make partners aware of that, but when I'm with you, I'm with YOU.

[sammie19]

I have really only ever fantasised about another person when making love if the lovemaking is awful and the partner failed to come up to expectations.

There is another instance recently where the sex was very nice but my mind was on someone else and I found myself wishing it was she I was with and not the girl who I was making love 2. While I have no guilt feelings about the first awful experiences, I do about this one because not only was she very good at making love she was someone I liked a great deal and so have some pangs of consciense about that night.

[matterinhand]

Most of the time we make love, its us that my mind is fixed on, but I know that if its involving fantasy my asking if she'd like another mmf 3som makes her moan and buck, and if she wants me to cum she only has to say how much she wants to see me with another man while she masturbates.

Its not very often I think of men when I'm going solo, unless its in the context of reveiwing past mmf encounters.

[Avocado]

So many things go through your head when you approach orgasm, it's necessary for it to be achieved. It doesn't mean you'd prefer someone else to the person you're having sex with. If I'm comfortable enough and it takes long enough I might think about other things.

[hit_mamma24]

Well I would like to say that even though my boyfriend and i are in an understanding that i am attracted to other women that i still love him. Yes i do think about other women when i am with him but i don't know if i feel guilty is that wrong? I don't know i have only been with a couple of other females but i enjoy it thoroughly.

[billy_campbell]

When I'm with a partner, male or female, my focus is on that person. If I'm fantasizing about doing something else, I'm sharing those fantasies so everybody's experience is heightened by it, never on the sly.

I'm pretty open about the fact that I'm not the relationship type and that I don't do monogamy very well. I always make partners aware of that, but when I'm with you, I'm with YOU.

I agree, be with the person you are with, if you want to tell the other person what your fantasizes are then that is cool but do it in the open, share it with the person you are with. I have a friend with benefits that we do mutual masturbation and share fantasizes with each other.

[Herbwoman39]

I can't say that I focus on hubby 100% of the time. If things are going horribly awry and nothing is revving my motor (doesn't happen very often), I'll switch mental channels and fantasize about being with a woman. But once I'm off and running, my full attention is back on him.

I have difficulty multi-tasking so I don't think I could carry on a prolonged fantasy in my head while we're making love. Most of the time things are so good I can't even think, anyway :bigrin: