FiftyFifty
Jun 7, 2021, 11:19 AM
Selfishly I don't want to.
A little background: I am a 48 year old man that has been open about my bisexuality since I was 18 years old. Not shouting it from the rooftops but also do not shy away from it when topic is brought up. This is who I am - I am attracted/moved by the person. I am a sex positive person and have a high sex drive - always have.
My wife and I we met over 20 years ago. When we first met I was dating a man so she knew from the jump. We started dating and it was monogamous. I don't recall if it was defined as that but that is how it played out. We dated for a few years and then took a break - I moved away for career opportunity. While we were apart I dated men and women - lived with a boyfriend for awhile but we eventually ended up back together. There is a strong connection between us.
Long story short here we got back together and now have 3 children. Ups and downs of course when it comes to a long term relationship but we have always worked out our shit. We are both open minded people and our communication is solid for the most part. We both kind of shut down at times but we always circle back.
We opened up our marriage about 4 years ago - me with men. She is open to being with women but not necessarily a pull. For me the desire to open up our marriage was/is strictly sexual. I don't want to have a relationship with anyone else. Initially when we first opened it up she was concerned that I would fall for someone else. That I would want that over what we have. I understand that aspect and concern but I am not interested in another relationship. I love our life together. Over time that concern dissipated but still it lingers. I am currently seeing a gay couple and have been for the past 2.5 years. She is aware and I schedule my time checking with her to make sure it fits with our family schedule. The couple I see is strictly sexual - meaning we do not hang out outside the bedroom. I come over and we spend time together for a few hours - eat and then I head home.
Recently we have checked in with each other as we do and ultimately she would like to be the only one. She says that she is ok with my couple but she isn't 100% with it. There is a part of me that wants to ignore the doubt that she has and continue to do what i want to do (selfish/yes). I kind of have done that choosing to reference the times that we talk and she is ok with it. i will run with that. That being said it doesn't seem fair to her.
I feel that we are at a cross roads - I don't want to stop and she wants to be the only one. Do i suck it up and stop seeing men? I feel that will end in resentment from me moving forward - actually I know it will with my personality. Do we part ways over something like this?
A little background: I am a 48 year old man that has been open about my bisexuality since I was 18 years old. Not shouting it from the rooftops but also do not shy away from it when topic is brought up. This is who I am - I am attracted/moved by the person. I am a sex positive person and have a high sex drive - always have.
My wife and I we met over 20 years ago. When we first met I was dating a man so she knew from the jump. We started dating and it was monogamous. I don't recall if it was defined as that but that is how it played out. We dated for a few years and then took a break - I moved away for career opportunity. While we were apart I dated men and women - lived with a boyfriend for awhile but we eventually ended up back together. There is a strong connection between us.
Long story short here we got back together and now have 3 children. Ups and downs of course when it comes to a long term relationship but we have always worked out our shit. We are both open minded people and our communication is solid for the most part. We both kind of shut down at times but we always circle back.
We opened up our marriage about 4 years ago - me with men. She is open to being with women but not necessarily a pull. For me the desire to open up our marriage was/is strictly sexual. I don't want to have a relationship with anyone else. Initially when we first opened it up she was concerned that I would fall for someone else. That I would want that over what we have. I understand that aspect and concern but I am not interested in another relationship. I love our life together. Over time that concern dissipated but still it lingers. I am currently seeing a gay couple and have been for the past 2.5 years. She is aware and I schedule my time checking with her to make sure it fits with our family schedule. The couple I see is strictly sexual - meaning we do not hang out outside the bedroom. I come over and we spend time together for a few hours - eat and then I head home.
Recently we have checked in with each other as we do and ultimately she would like to be the only one. She says that she is ok with my couple but she isn't 100% with it. There is a part of me that wants to ignore the doubt that she has and continue to do what i want to do (selfish/yes). I kind of have done that choosing to reference the times that we talk and she is ok with it. i will run with that. That being said it doesn't seem fair to her.
I feel that we are at a cross roads - I don't want to stop and she wants to be the only one. Do i suck it up and stop seeing men? I feel that will end in resentment from me moving forward - actually I know it will with my personality. Do we part ways over something like this?