Just a few questions that I need answering. Thanks.

[Leanne 86]

Hello everyone!
This is my first post and I have been here a little while, I've been reading posts that I could find and help me with my sexuality as I am confused.

Just a question......
...a lot of people say, you don't know about your sexuality until you have had sex with either a guy and/or a woman. So, if you had sex with both, does it mean that you are bisexual if you are comfortable with the experiences that you had?

People also mention about 'sexually attractive' & 'physically attractive'. What do these words mean?

Thanks, Leanne.

[Mrs. Taz]

in my experance if u had sex with both and liked both the yes you are bi. phsically atractive, do you find the person atractive just by the way they look.

[Sparkles]

...a lot of people say, you don't know about your sexuality until you have had sex with either a guy and/or a woman.

People also mention about 'sexually attractive' & 'physically attractive'. What do these words mean?



Well, to me, 'sexually attractive' & 'physically attractive' are just a matter of does the person 'turn you on'?

If, yes, then they're attractive; if no, then they're not - of course, this is subjective and totally a personal perspective thing. :2cents:

Rhuth actually gave me some great advice about 'how to know' in her 'stock advice' thread. You can find it in my Seeking Advice Thread (http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1982).

Sparkles :female:

[darkeyes]

Don think ya need to hav nookie wiv ne 1 2 know ur bi necessarily. Me knew before that eva happened. But we all diffrent an we all realise our sexuality in diff ways. Think most every1 is bi ne way. Not that every1 is likely ta agree. But we all hav traits of gay an str8. Even gays an str8s. Jus that most don do owt about it, want it, or accept it. An that ther right.

[TinTin]

Very difficult question to answer without writing an essay. I consider myself to be bi because I find certain members of both sexes physically and sexually attractive, I dont think I have ever had a sexual experience with anyone that I was not attracted to and that means a mixture of what they look like (dressed and undressed) and what I can only describe as their character.

Physical and sexual attraction are very closely linked, if I find someone physically attractive I can be sure that at some time or another I will have some sort of sexual thought about that person so it turns into a sexual attraction.

Maybe mental attraction should come into the debate somewhere.

[Tynary]

um I don't think you need to have sex to know your sexuality. I have had sex with girls but not boys but I kno I like boys.

physically attractive for me=someone I either acknowledge as good looking but maybe they just dnt give me that spark or they do but I think of them in a looks only way

sexually attractive=I find them physically attractive and it gives me a spark but there is also something bout them other than looks that gives a spark. maybe I really like em and find em dead sexy for reason I dnt understand like their quirks and traits apeal to a large degree and I really want them.

[little clown]

Hi Leanne 86,

Although it is of course possible to fantasize about something and then learn you do not enjoy living out these fantasies, I don't think you need to have sex to be able to understand your own sexuality.
To me sexual orientation is all about feelings of attraction.
There are plenty of people out there who fantasize about going out with someone and/or having sex with someone who don't get to act upon these feelings. Does this make these feelings any less genuine? Absolutely not!

Obviously, a person doesn't have to identify as bi, simply because he or she has had sex with both male(s) and female(s) and feels comfortable about it.
And it's not a decision you need to make overnight either. Heck, you can choose not to label yourself at all. I always say that feeling good about yourself and the things you do is much more important than how you label yourself.
Whatever you do, don't let others tell you what you are. People tend to label a person, because of what they know (or believe to know) about this person's behavior. They can't possibly know why you do what you do. You are they only one who does.

As far as the differences between sexually attractive and physically attractive are concerned.
You may find someone physically attractive without wanting to have sex with that person and the opposite is also possible,
you can find yourself wanting to have sex with someone you don't consider to be very attractive physically.

Take care,
Dani

[Herbwoman39]

Oh you really don't need to have a same sex experience to consider yourself Bi. I like boys. I like girls. By that logic, I'm Bi :-) If you're attracted to certain members of the same sex AND the opposite, that.s enough right there. Even if you just like certain aspects (the actual sex, not cuddling/kissing, etc or the opposite) that defines you as Bi.

HOWEVER, only you can choose how you define yourself. If you don't like the "bisexual" label, find something that works for you. I'm growing more fond of "queer" now that I understand the significance of the word.

Just be yourself :bigrin:

[taz67156]

first of all let me welcome you to the site and hope you enjoy being here :) and I've got to agree with everyone else you don't have to have sex to know if your bisexual and nobody can tell you what you are going to be at anytime its all up to you.