The Female Orgasm: Do some Women Find It difficult To Experience:

[jazzer]

My wife has always been easy to bring to orgasm, both orally and vaginally. Recently, however, my wife and I had a foursome with a couple who had been married over 30 years, where the woman has had virtually no orgasms during her marriage according to her husband. He told me, "if she doesn't get there don't worry, I have only managed to get her to achieve an orgasm a handful of times in our marriage." He went on to say she loved both oral and vaginal sex but that was it, no orgasm.
I accepted the challenge and after a protracted oral effort with no result, I resorted to intercourse and did her in several positions finishing with her riding me. I had a great time but still nothing. She told me she had given up worrying about not having an orgasm and said she enjoyed what I did with her and told me not to concern myself. This was a new experience for me, but I wonder if other women also experience difficullty in experiencing an orgasm?

:confused: :color:

[Mrs.F]

YES! Orally...it's happened once for me! Intercourse more often but not everytime. If I do it myself....everytime! I read about women who do everytime or have multiple and it amazes me. I have often wondered what was wrong with me but oh well. I still very much enjoy sex! :bigrin:

[Tynary]

well I'm v young so not had much sex. Never bin with a man. I didn't have an orgasm when I had sex with the grl i was going out witha t the time. I think I've had orgasms when I do it myself but how can one be sure. perhaps I was just on the brink. But I think I have had them. whether or not that true I love it all the same. lv lv insanly. so how u know for sure if you've had an orgasm. I just felt intense pleasure then sorta almost dizzy like. Is that it. I dnt think I'm the kinda grl who would find it hard to have an orgasm but I v sex v much anyways so not a problem.

[Mrs.F]

[QUOTE=Tynary=. so how u know for sure if you've had an orgasm. I just felt intense pleasure then sorta almost dizzy like. Is that it.


Yep, that would be it!!! :bigrin: Intense feeling!!

[Lisa (va)]

Very rarely not to reach orgasm during sex at least one time: like jazzers' wife I easily reach orgasm, manny times during foreplay even. Multiple orgasms are great Mrs. F., but not quite as intense as most single big ones.
Even though i thoroughly enjoy orgasms, the journey getting there is so much more emotionally, in my opinion anyway.

Lisa

hugs n kisses

[deletetacount123]

[QUOTE=Tynary=. so how u know for sure if you've had an orgasm. I just felt intense pleasure then sorta almost dizzy like. Is that it.


Yep, that would be it!!! :bigrin: Intense feeling!!

lol And when your whole body just shakes a little hehe
I love that feeling :) hehe I have also learned I can have another a bit after the other one has ended LOL mmmmm Course it depends what mood Im in lol

[Manda5]

When I have sex with my boyfriend I never really had a problem until just recently, and now I can't hardly orgasm unless I am thinking about having sex with a woman. I have never had sex with a woman but it turns me on that much anyways.

Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't feel that way though. What do you all do when you do?? I am a monogamist and don't feel that I would be okay having sex with a woman when I have a boyfriend. I feel like because I am bi though I will always want one or the other. Almost like I will never be satisfied. Is that how it is??

[gentlepen9]

I've never had a problem with achieving orgasm, especially when I'm flying solo. What I do have a problem with is staying interested in my partner during sex or getting aroused from the get go. Sometimes my mind is there but my body isn't. Or my mind just wanders and then it's just down right impossible for me to stay focused.

Manda5: I too have to think about women when I'm with my husband just to keep going. It's like the thought of being with him isn't enough to keep me turned on. So I fantasize a bit which helps a lot until he rubs his stubbled facial hair against my skin and it brings me back to reality.

[Sparkles]

YES! Orally...it's happened once for me! Intercourse more often but not everytime. If I do it myself....everytime!

I used to have the <i>same</i> problem! Eventually, I figured out that for me it was a duel thing:
1) Control: When I masturbated I was able to immediately identify/adjust to what felt best. I'm really a clit girl, but occasionally have been able to "O" with just G-spot. Handling that problem was just communication. I found a partner (my bf, Steve) who actually listened to me when I moaned, did exactly what I wanted when I worked up the guts to tell him, and <i>never</i> made me feel like it was a chore - he always has a great time pleasuring me.
2) Mental/Emotional Place: I need to feel safe, sexy and like my partner is enjoying everything he/she is doing to me as much as I am. When I first got oral, had sex, or let anyone do anything to me - I was so worried about how I smelled, if my skin was shaved smooth enough, if I tasted okay - that I was a tense wreck! Plus, mentally I have to be in the 'fantasy' zone. I have to 'feel' what is happening to me in my head, imagine the visual/emotional senario. So, I have to totally relax and take in the sensations. A great partner is the only way I've been able to achieve that with another person.

Bless,
Sparkles
:female:

[mistymockingbird]

Ah the elusive O. lol It can be harder for some women to achieve than one would think. For years, I never acheived orgasm through vaginal intercourse. I could go multiple times, back to back even, through other means, but vaginal intercourse just wouldn't do it. With my ex-husband, he always made sure I came before we got to that point so that once we did, he could just cum whenever and it didn't make a difference to me. I still enjoyed the sex regardless.

I have learned, through masturbation, how to orgasm vaginally, but it's still not a given with a partner. There are certain positions that are more condusive, but one of the problems is that it just takes women longer to physically get to the orgasm point than it does men. To date there has been only one man who made me orgasm through vaginal intercourse, that boy had some stamina. My experiences with women have been more orally centered, so that's never been an issue. lol

On a similar note, I do not have to have an orgasm with every sexual encounter to be satisfied. That's hard for some to understand, but its the truth for me.

I agree with Lisa, in my experience multiple orgasms are not as intense as the single ones. Multiples are pretty standard issue for me (during foreplay and also with anal). I tend to have smaller orgasms that come quicker with each time, usually resulting in a back to back (to back to back to back)extravaganza if the stimulation goes on long enough. There have only been a few times where I've had one big intense orgasm.

[Long Duck Dong]

send the poor lady to me lol

the trouble is we beleive all orgasms to be intense feelings..... but they are not.... some ladies are capable of a warm, peaceful blissful feeling as a orgasm rather than the overwhelming sexual release of a intense orgasm lol

I can't teach much online but i do know many lil tricks to helping ladies to experience a head board bending, earth shattering, mind blowing orgasm... and it has nothing to do with the male being a expert in bed either

a few of the things that can be done with ladies, to to help them work with their feelings and emotions, can come from simply talking and listening... some have a built in orgasm blocker that comes from young age teachings..... things like sex and orgasms are immoral and works of the devil, are things i do find in clients ( i have a side line business as a sexual counsellor )
another thing that can affect a ladies orgasm, is the feeling is not nutured to a fuller orgasm, some ladies have a shallow orgasm and they have never been shown how to deepen or increase the intenseness of the orgasm lol
riding a simple feeling can help the lady learn how to control the orgasm and help her build it up into something quite intense

until we stop teaching ourselves that a orgasm for a lady, must be intense and deep, we will never face the fact that some ladies DON"T have deep, intense orgasms, they have shallow orgasms and thats perfectly fine

[siraussietosser]

I was very interested to read this thread.

For seven years I have been with my girl. We are getting married in four weeks ;)

And never once has she had an orgasm. For a long time I felt it was my fault, and I was not doing a good job. But after we talked for a while she told me how she just cant orgasm, even when she masturbates.

But she says the feelings she gets through sex are excellent. She has these feelings build up, she calls them tickles, and once they get too intence she has to stop. And this repeats during sex several times.

She has told me that she has to stop because it feels like she is going to wet herself. But an orgasm should not tickle so much it hurts, right?

I dont know if it is just her form of "orgasm" or if there is something else she can try.

Would be great to hear other womens stories.

Cheers :cool:

[sammie19]

I was working late last night and afterwards some of us went to the pub to wind down after what was a bloody awful day. Needless to say the subject did get around to sex and this subject arose. One lovely old wifey had us in stitches when she said "Have trouble having cumming? Only when its not touched dearie..". No more to be said really.

[matterinhand]

My ex was on a hair trigger for orgasms, she could cum from me playing with her nipples, and 20 seconds of oral had her screaming, but the problem was that when she'd cum she couldn't take any sexual contact for a good while.

Our routine was gentle foreplay, keeping well away from her vagina, suckling on her nipples for a very short time, then (when she was ready) me giving her oral, and as soon as she'd cum I'd either have to go straight in or wait.

And if I was up there for more than 2 mins, she wanted me out. So she'd normally bring me close to cumming before I even started on her.

[darkeyes]

Orgasm? Cum??? wots that???? heheheheheehehehehehhe

[Tynary]

wow I never knew some women had so much trouble with orgasms. I read about this one chick not having one at all till she was 33 and it made me terrified. tthanks for the info on recognising an orgasm guys.
Never had sex with a man. actually haven't had many 'real' relationships at all. nothing that counts I'd say or I wish it dnt. When I have real relationships I hope I have more orgasms

[Mrs.F]

send the poor lady to me lol

the trouble is we beleive all orgasms to be intense feelings..... but they are not.... some ladies are capable of a warm, peaceful blissful feeling as a orgasm rather than the overwhelming sexual release of a intense orgasm lol

I can't teach much online but i do know many lil tricks to helping ladies to experience a head board bending, earth shattering, mind blowing orgasm... and it has nothing to do with the male being a expert in bed either

a few of the things that can be done with ladies, to to help them work with their feelings and emotions, can come from simply talking and listening... some have a built in orgasm blocker that comes from young age teachings..... things like sex and orgasms are immoral and works of the devil, are things i do find in clients ( i have a side line business as a sexual counsellor )
another thing that can affect a ladies orgasm, is the feeling is not nutured to a fuller orgasm, some ladies have a shallow orgasm and they have never been shown how to deepen or increase the intenseness of the orgasm lol
riding a simple feeling can help the lady learn how to control the orgasm and help her build it up into something quite intense

until we stop teaching ourselves that a orgasm for a lady, must be intense and deep, we will never face the fact that some ladies DON"T have deep, intense orgasms, they have shallow orgasms and thats perfectly fine

OK..that makes sense! Then I am having little one's here and there but felt that since I wasn't having the big intense one's that I can make myself have alone, that I wasn't having any. Thank you for us telling this...makes me feel better! :bigrin:

[little clown]

It seems that I'm different from most women in the sense that I tend to get intense orgasms when I'm with a lover, but I hardly ever do when I masturbate.
I guess, I just don't turn myself on. :)

Take care,
Dani

[jenniferhell@hotmail]

it takes me and my gf 1 hour a peace to achive the ultamit orgasim but god is it worth it i used to never have an orgasim with my soon to be ex hubby but god i love them orgasms :bigrin:

jenn

[DJ Triad]

When I was in my early twenties, it was so much easier to reach orgasm. Now that I’m in my forties, the length of time has substantially increased for me to reach that point.

There are so many different factors involved in reaching orgasm. I will just name a few that are important for me, as every woman is different.

The setting has to be right, soft lighting, lovemaking / orgasmic music, scented candles, a visual stimuli can be titillating at times, but I’m not at all into watching hardcore porn.

Communicating with my partners what I like or what I’m in the mood for that day / night. I enjoy a slow, gentle (but not too gentle as I’m ticklish) touch. I love to kiss passionately. When my partner is initiating oral sex, I don’t like it rough or too hard or too fast as I get too sensitive. For some reason, there’s men out there who thinks that the faster and or harder their tongue goes, the better it is for the woman. Although there are women that prefer that, it does not do me any good. It just gets me WAY too sensitive and I can’t climax.

As for penetration, size does matter! ; ) ( I like mine average, not too small and not too big as I’m not into pain.) I have to be able to feel my partner going in and out, hitting my g-spot occasionally. He has to be able to last for more than fifteen to thirty minutes. So men, pace yourself, don’t get too excited and pump so fast that you’re only lasting 60 seconds. ; )

Toys are also helpful, I love a vibrator. Also, two/three fingers penetration hitting my g spot and simultaneous oral stimulation is wonderful.

Anyway, those are the few, be sensitive to your partner’s needs. Find out what she likes, and pay attention to her body language. The longer you’re with your partner, the better the lovemaking is because you’re constantly exploring and growing.

[ophelia_in_red]

I've never achieved orgasm with anyone else in the same room as me, let alone touching me! I'm of course very open to this status changing at some point, but I need such specific stimulation and intense concentration that anyone else's presence and touching just doesn't hit the right spots. It makes me sad sometimes, but I guess it's just one of those things.

[VegasCutie]

I must admit that it is a huge relief to know that Im not alone on this one. Up until two years ago I had not had an orgasm. (I was 22 at the time) Sure...i thought i had had one several times as i didnt know what the sensation felt like. One night, on a hot steamy summer on vacation with my ex fiance, i had an orgasm and lemme tell you!...its never been the same since.

But like others, i have come to the realization that it doesnt happen every time, and i dont ever expect it to happen during sex. If you get too worked up on the idea of having the big "o" then your mind isnt there in the moment. But thats just me...

[joxbear69]

my wife has had some incredibly intense orgasms---but not during intercourse. Only with oral stim and manual stim/masterbation of her clit can she "get there". But once she "gets there"--it is awesome, for both of us.
We also have just introduced a vibrator into our playtime---sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. Oh well--guess we just need to practice and play more.

[jack6two]

When i lick my wife she has the best cums!
The second best makes she by herself with my two cocks: one half she is putting insides and with the other one she is rubbling her clitty. In this way she is going up like a rocket too!!! :tongue:

[Herbwoman39]

Wow...I feel like I'm in the minority here. For me, 99.99 % of the time not only do I orgasm, but I have multiples from oral and vaginal. I'm also one of those rare women who ejaculates.

It's got to be a really bad day when I *don't* orgasm.

[Long Duck Dong]

lol why is a males urine yellow, and his sperm white ???? so he knows if he is cumming or going lol


seriously lol.... i sat here and reread this thread a few times to see if i could post any info that may help the ladies lol

siraussietosser, ya partner feels like she wants to wet herself ??? thats easy... F**K in the shower and tell her to let it rip... that way nobody will care if she pisses herself or not... remember its not about being self conscious, its about the fulll experience and she may find that she doesn't wet herself but screams so loud ya eardrums pop lol

ophelia_in_red, try changing the way you turn yourself on, like using a oil, or fantasing about the way you wanna be *taken *... focussing on the orgasm too much can limit it... but if you can imagine a fantasy partner and you making love in a way that stimulates your senses, you may find that reaching orgasm have be a little easier

ok, lol the issue with orgasms is that we all appear to be concentrating on the ladies tits, pussy and clit........ what happened to the rest of the lady ?????

now for the best orgasms, we need to relax and learn control over ourselves and our partners....experimenting with different pressures, touching, stroking etc, is important...lol... the goal is sexual enjoyment and furfullment...but it doesn't always have to lead to full sex in order for that to happen
I know of a lady that can orgasm thru her ears been nibbled.... so is it possible that we have confined ourselves to thinking only oral and vaginal sex can help with orgasms ????

try things like ya partner massaging ya feet while you use a vibrator, nibbling on ya ears, using the jet stream of a jacuzzi or spa etc etc etc....hell try using a small piece of ice to change the temp of ya vagina then using a vibrator that have been warming up.... the sudden change of temp casues the body to react

[silverleaf]

I have found that as of late I have to think about other women when I am having sex with my husband if in order to have an orgasm , and even then it can be a real struggle. I am glad to know I am not the only one who is having difficuilties.

[Chickpea]

My wife has always been easy to bring to orgasm, both orally and vaginally. Recently, however, my wife and I had a foursome with a couple who had been married over 30 years, where the woman has had virtually no orgasms during her marriage according to her husband. He told me, "if she doesn't get there don't worry, I have only managed to get her to achieve an orgasm a handful of times in our marriage." He went on to say she loved both oral and vaginal sex but that was it, no orgasm.
I accepted the challenge and after a protracted oral effort with no result, I resorted to intercourse and did her in several positions finishing with her riding me. I had a great time but still nothing. She told me she had given up worrying about not having an orgasm and said she enjoyed what I did with her and told me not to concern myself. This was a new experience for me, but I wonder if other women also experience difficullty in experiencing an orgasm?

:confused: :color:

A wonderful loving way of finding out is to ask your partner to show you how she or he cums when they masturbate. Not only is it a beaufiful gift to your partner to show them how you cum, it also helps each other when you have sex together. You know what works, and in a loving relationship, sex is very important as a way of being physically as close as you feel emotionally. Chickpea

[Wonderingone]

Easy for me - but only with the right one (or ones???)
Have found that Multiple orgasms are quite acheivable - and sex without still highly enjoyable - but am so wondering ... hence the name... if the right "she" is out there for me - or us.

It seems to me - from my own experience - that orgasms are somewhat overrated - though wonderful - the complete "connection" is more important - and pure pleasure results from that more than the moment of climax

[creach]

Yes, i can find it very tuff too... I'd say it's about 1 in 4 attempts at achieving orgasm that it happens, and that include me doin it for me!! Yes i DO know what i'm doing and when playin with other girls i get a great suprise.... They come quite quickly, fairly quietly and are ready to go again in a matter of moments! This is soooooooooo NOT me!

When i do achieve orgasm it's kinda somethin... It is very very intense. I am very noisy (tee hee) and have wot has been described as body movement similar to a fit!! It feels like i have had a massive chemical hit too (well i have!the dopermene hit your brain gets during orgasm is similar to a large dose of illigal recreational drugs - fact!!!) I then get the giggles which are completly uncontrollable! The first time this happened to me i was quite freaked out as u can probably imagin LOL ! I then tend to fall asleep as my physical and emotianal states are totally exhausted! Multiple orgasm???? U gotta be kidding ha ha ha

By the way i have never achieved an orgasnm through intercourse and finding out that other women can and do has been a real suprise!!

[twosides]

I can only truly speak of the orgasm experience from the male end of course, but I believe it's true for all that 99% (ok, 87%) of the battle is getting out of your mind. Meaning, putting all that stuff about the car, the bills, the unshaved legs, the fight with your lover last week, what ever!! OUT OF YOUR TRAIN OF THOUGHT. Focus on the moment. On your lover, and then when you can't focus on your lover any more because you're feeling so comfortable and one with where you are that your mind and body float away. If you feel like you're going to wet youself (sounds like female ejaculation to me, just have a towel nearby), don't worry about it, don't think about it, just go over the edge and experience what happens. Don't follow pain that far (unless you're trained that way) but those superb feelings that are discussed in the legends of sex are not easily achieved. You let your mind go and your body will follow.