Deep Question

[Flounder1967]

Hey peoples,
Long time resident. I am bisexual and discovered this after I was married. My wife found out and joined the site (Mrs F). She learn and we both learned things from the site. We explored our sexuality and tried different things together and separately. I was in a bad accident and life started to get in the way. We love each other. She started to lose her sex drive which was frustrating. We are monogamous so its frustrating. Well two years ago she was diagnosed with renal cancer and had to have surgery. It turns out it was stage 4 and we are on top of it. Getting treatment, being check all the time while getting immunotherapy another cancer was discover (thyroid). Now I love her with all my heart, but I also want some intimate touching to out right fucking sex. I love her and she now thinks she maybe asexual (not wanting any intimacy). Now I've started talking to someone else on another site. We have a real connection. He knows all about me and vice versa. I was to take things to the next level and so does they (gender neutral). I feel guilty wanting to meet my needs and want to go outside the marriage. How do I tell her I want to do this? I know her first question is if I'm not happy in our marriage. I am happy.

[SilkyHoseLover]

It sounds as if you have had a good marriage with a loving, caring and understanding partner. The fact that she knew of your bisexuality and joined this site where you both learned things and subsequently experimented with some different areas of sexuality, is, in my mind, a positive. Unless she somehow thinks that the things that have gone wrong are somehow a form of 'punishment' for your experimentation, it would seem that there's a good chance that she'd understand that there's something missing for you, given her lack of interest in intimate activities.

If you've been doing your best as a husband in all other respects, and you are confident that she knows that you still love her very much, I would suggest that clear, honest communication about your continuing needs would be a good start. This sounds like a lady who has earned your fidelity, and I don't think you should squander that trust by going behind her back. Some women are wonderfully understanding and accepting of a man's needs when it comes to things that they can no longer provide.

[KDaddy23]

It won't be easy but just tell her; trust in the strength of your love for each other and lean on your ability to be able to talk to each other openly and honestly. As Silky says, some women are very understanding about that which they can't do anything about.

[dan.woodlawn]

This is my opinion...."people on other sites" have developed skills to say and do whatever it takes to simulate connection. It is NOT worth throwing it away for a temporary thing.

You miss the sex connection and I get that...better off increasing your self satisfaction or hit a massage parlor (I wouldnt in your situation, but...very low risk on both parties) than something that could work its way into the home.

I know men can compartmentalize, but based on your text, someone you "click with" might become a more than "one and done" and can become more than you bargained for.

[tuckedboy]

I think this is more of a win-or-lose situation right here. But based on the fact that she knows about your sexuality and continues to support your bisexuality, I think she's an understanding woman (Keep her at all costs!). Maybe a thorough and intimate talk with her about this could solve the problem. Try saying something gentle first. Ask for her permission and make sure that if she doesn't want then you will not proceed.

[chtampa]

Hey peoples,
Long time resident. I am bisexual and discovered this after I was married. My wife found out and joined the site (Mrs F). She learn and we both learned things from the site. We explored our sexuality and tried different things together and separately. I was in a bad accident and life started to get in the way. We love each other. She started to lose her sex drive which was frustrating. We are monogamous so its frustrating. Well two years ago she was diagnosed with renal cancer and had to have surgery. It turns out it was stage 4 and we are on top of it. Getting treatment, being check all the time while getting immunotherapy another cancer was discover (thyroid). Now I love her with all my heart, but I also want some intimate touching to out right fucking sex. I love her and she now thinks she maybe asexual (not wanting any intimacy). Now I've started talking to someone else on another site. We have a real connection. He knows all about me and vice versa. I was to take things to the next level and so does they (gender neutral). I feel guilty wanting to meet my needs and want to go outside the marriage. How do I tell her I want to do this? I know her first question is if I'm not happy in our marriage. I am happy.

With any specific question for permission she will assume that you are already doing what ever you ask her for. An open ended question that allows her to bring up the solution will be better. Say, "I am not ready to dismiss sexual contact yet and would like to discuss with you ways to improve this". Stand firm with the question and she will solve the situation for you.

[Flounder1967]

Well I finally brave up and asked. She said she understood and knew I was going to feel bad. She is an amazing lady.

[CockHummer]

You comfortably shared this with all of us, so I will feel comfortable saying my piece in response. I mean it as a potential wake-up call to you, not a personal attack, as it may appear. Please take it that way.

A person with stage four cancer of any organ system is not going to survive the cancer, almost certainly. You claim to love this woman, but as far as she can see, while she is going through this hell with her body, one of the worst experiences we can go through as human beings, and preparing to die earlier than any of us would want or expect, the man who is supposed to love her with all his heart is more concerned with getting fucked than anything else at the moment. That is how it reads to me.

I am sorry, but I would exercise patience and be there for her in all ways right now. If she is not interested in sex while she is confronted by a stage four carcinoma, that is pretty normal. It is absolutely amazing that she made the efforts for you that she did, especially while this was going on. Return that tremendous, loving favor to her and make some amazing efforts for her sake, in exchange for that love she showed you. Jerk off. Imagine being with anyone you want while you do it. In your mind, be like a teenager who's horny as hell but has no access to anyone that fulfills his horny fantasies. Use your imagination. That works great. We've all been there. We've all done it with amazing effect. We're all good at it. You will not die or ultimately fail to suck all the cock you want, but let it be down the road, when the right day comes, Exercise more patience than you would like for the moment, but in day-to-day reality, be entirely with her and entirely for her right now. There is no room for another person in the picture while this big a thing is going on with her. Your time for fucking anyone you want will come, soon enough. Even if she seems to be saying it's okay, it's really not. It's just not. Surprise the heck out of her, and let her know that you realize that.

When I was a teen, I had a neighbor family 2 hoses down on my street. I was good friends with the oldest son in the household. His mom, a beautiful woman, was dying from breast cancer, and we all saw the hell she went through and how fast her body changed as the cancer ate away at her, but somehow his Dad, who was, of course, her husband, thought getting fucked was more important than anything. He had a girlfriend and actually brought her into the house, while his wife was living in their bedroom, practically alone, and dying. In reality, as bad as that sounds, I think it hardly matters where you are, if they know what you're doing, anyway. If she knows you're out screwing someone else, while she is going through this dire, terrible thing, you might just as well be doing it in the house with her watching. I can only speak for myself, but I would never do that to anyone. Have patience, man. She needs to know her man loves her right now, and that sex takes a distant second place, for him, to his concerns about her, as it really should, no questions asked. You say she is an amazing lady. Why can't you turn around, right now, and be an amazing man for her?

If I may have convinced you of anything, then let her know that you are there just for her now, to stand with her in her fight, ready to be just what she needs at this time, just when she needs it, and that for the time being, you have come to recognize that those other concerns, about stretching your sexual experience, are of much less importance and will stay on a back burner, where they belong for the time being, while she is going through this terrible thing, and you are doing it just for her, because you love her. Please, give what I have said some serious thought and try to take it seriously.

[Tom P]

Cock Hummer Amen!

[tuckedboy]

Well I finally brave up and asked. She said she understood and knew I was going to feel bad. She is an amazing lady.

She's so precious. Keep her at all costs man!

[Neonaught]

You comfortably shared this with all of us, so I will feel comfortable saying my piece in response. I mean it as a potential wake-up call to you, not a personal attack, as it may appear. Please take it that way.

A person with stage four cancer of any organ system is not going to survive the cancer, almost certainly. You claim to love this woman, but as far as she can see, while she is going through this hell with her body, one of the worst experiences we can go through as human beings, and preparing to die earlier than any of us would want or expect, the man who is supposed to love her with all his heart is more concerned with getting fucked than anything else at the moment. That is how it reads to me.

I am sorry, but I would exercise patience and be there for her in all ways right now. If she is not interested in sex while she is confronted by a stage four carcinoma, that is pretty normal. It is absolutely amazing that she made the efforts for you that she did, especially while this was going on. Return that tremendous, loving favor to her and make some amazing efforts for her sake, in exchange for that love she showed you. Jerk off. Imagine being with anyone you want while you do it. In your mind, be like a teenager who's horny as hell but has no access to anyone that fulfills his horny fantasies. Use your imagination. That works great. We've all been there. We've all done it with amazing effect. We're all good at it. You will not die or ultimately fail to suck all the cock you want, but let it be down the road, when the right day comes, Exercise more patience than you would like for the moment, but in day-to-day reality, be entirely with her and entirely for her right now. There is no room for another person in the picture while this big a thing is going on with her. Your time for fucking anyone you want will come, soon enough. Even if she seems to be saying it's okay, it's really not. It's just not. Surprise the heck out of her, and let her know that you realize that.

When I was a teen, I had a neighbor family 2 hoses down on my street. I was good friends with the oldest son in the household. His mom, a beautiful woman, was dying from breast cancer, and we all saw the hell she went through and how fast her body changed as the cancer ate away at her, but somehow his Dad, who was, of course, her husband, thought getting fucked was more important than anything. He had a girlfriend and actually brought her into the house, while his wife was living in their bedroom, practically alone, and dying. In reality, as bad as that sounds, I think it hardly matters where you are, if they know what you're doing, anyway. If she knows you're out screwing someone else, while she is going through this dire, terrible thing, you might just as well be doing it in the house with her watching. I can only speak for myself, but I would never do that to anyone. Have patience, man. She needs to know her man loves her right now, and that sex takes a distant second place, for him, to his concerns about her, as it really should, no questions asked. You say she is an amazing lady. Why can't you turn around, right now, and be an amazing man for her?

If I may have convinced you of anything, then let her know that you are there just for her now, to stand with her in her fight, ready to be just what she needs at this time, just when she needs it, and that for the time being, you have come to recognize that those other concerns, about stretching your sexual experience, are of much less importance and will stay on a back burner, where they belong for the time being, while she is going through this terrible thing, and you are doing it just for her, because you love her. Please, give what I have said some serious thought and try to take it seriously.

Every cancer and ever cancer stage is different. I had stage 4 head and neck cancer and survived.

[csreef]

Your wife has stage 4 Kidney cancer, and Thyroid cancer, and you are more concerned about getting a BJ....

[wifekinky4husband]

I agree with many, spend all the time with her that you can, you will not have very long. As for sexual needs, we all need stress relievers and you have a lot of stress going on. It is as bad if not worse on the spouse/family as it is on the patient. Not the pain or suffering physically but the emotional, spiritual, and more. The care givers are typically the ones in the most need, the patient has the medical staffs to tend to much of theirs. Get creative with your self sex and find a way to include your wife of at all possible. I know many couples who have gone through horrible things and when the subject of missing intimacy was addressed they all eventually found a way that worked them them. I know I can feel absolutely rotten and still enjoy my husband pleasing himself for my viewing entertainment.

[Flounder1967]

Everyone look at the 7th post. It clearly says we talked. She is more ok than you think. Yes its stage 4. We were on it from the beginning after it was found. There is no way to detect it. She is in good health and we are happy. I know I have a great wife and I'm not getting rid of her. Stage 4 is not a death sentence. We are on all health issues. So please stop saying I'm in the wrong when we both agreed its OK.

Let me repeat that. She read all the posts. We talked. She and I are ok with our decision repeat read post 7th

thank you now cary on.