Hetroflexible?

[Joboo]

Some years back I got on the sex forums looking to see if there were a lot of guys like me, seems there is. I recently read a description about being hetroflexible and it pretty much summed up, well me.
The urge is there but everything has to be just so. I was approached as a young guy quite often and of let’s say 50 opportunities maybe 3 to 5 were someone I was intrigued by. Had to be slim and kind of of quite person. I’ve been an alpha all my life and I get off on a guy who is physically weaker than me and has a nice cock, preferably bigger than mine. Their larger penis gives me a submissive surge that has always been lacking in my life.
I guess I’m just complaining because it seem very difficult now. I guess it will just be dumb luck if I find someone since I don’t go out mush anymore. I’ve had a couple of opportunities I seized but while okay, I didn’t want to continue with either.
I had so many FWB’s back in my youth I guess I just ran out.

I guess I should ad I’m orally hetroflexible.

[KDaddy23]

I "hate" that word. I've heard guys toss out "heteroflexible" and they have a very hard time explaining to me how it's different from what the word "bisexual" means because, duh, to be able to have sex with another guy does require a high degree of flexibility since, in order to do so, one has to change a lot of shit in their head about having sex. I've heard guys say, "I'm only like that with certain guys or at certain times so that means I'm heteroflexible..." and I'll tell them, "No, it really doesn't; I'm bisexual and I only do it with certain guys and at certain times because that's just how it works even when women are being considered."

Being discerning or, bluntly, picky about who gets to have sex with you is something entirely different; that's not flexibility - that's having preferences. Ever since I first heard this word, I've made it my business to find out why people even use it and have learned that it gives them more peace of mind that saying they're bisexual; all they're really doing is exchanging one label for another that's more... palatable. Homoflexible is another word I can't stand because it, too, deflects from the truth of things. If you have sex with men, things like frequency has nothing to do with it and like so many men who say, "It's not something I'd do all of the time." Shit... I don't do it "all of the time" but when I do, I'm doing it and it doesn't get any simpler than that.

The label-haters are gonna have a field day with this comment and I'll find it interesting to see how many guys object to this and will wonder if they really understand why they do. I know that when we don't want to call something what it is, we will call it something else and then create some differences that, in reality, don't exist. I'd accept "sexually flexible" before hetero- or homoflexible and more so when those two words actually "mean" the same thing - but a lot of people think they don't... and I just amazes me how we - humans - tend to think in order to be okay with ourselves inside our own heads. The bottom line is you can call it whatever you want to... but the truth and reality shouldn't be shoved aside as being inconsequential or get you thinking that you're not the duck you're quacking like.

[cornholejoe]

why put a name to it but bi does mean 2

[Timmyy9966]

I’m trisexual

[Bi-Rõnin]

I "hate" that word. I've heard guys toss out "heteroflexible" and they have a very hard time explaining to me how it's different from what the word "bisexual" means because, duh, to be able to have sex with another guy does require a high degree of flexibility since, in order to do so, one has to change a lot of shit in their head about having sex. I've heard guys say, "I'm only like that with certain guys or at certain times so that means I'm heteroflexible..." and I'll tell them, "No, it really doesn't; I'm bisexual and I only do it with certain guys and at certain times because that's just how it works even when women are being considered."

Being discerning or, bluntly, picky about who gets to have sex with you is something entirely different; that's not flexibility - that's having preferences. Ever since I first heard this word, I've made it my business to find out why people even use it and have learned that it gives them more peace of mind that saying they're bisexual; all they're really doing is exchanging one label for another that's more... palatable. Homoflexible is another word I can't stand because it, too, deflects from the truth of things. If you have sex with men, things like frequency has nothing to do with it and like so many men who say, "It's not something I'd do all of the time." Shit... I don't do it "all of the time" but when I do, I'm doing it and it doesn't get any simpler than that.

The label-haters are gonna have a field day with this comment and I'll find it interesting to see how many guys object to this and will wonder if they really understand why they do. I know that when we don't want to call something what it is, we will call it something else and then create some differences that, in reality, don't exist. I'd accept "sexually flexible" before hetero- or homoflexible and more so when those two words actually "mean" the same thing - but a lot of people think they don't... and I just amazes me how we - humans - tend to think in order to be okay with ourselves inside our own heads. The bottom line is you can call it whatever you want to... but the truth and reality shouldn't be shoved aside as being inconsequential or get you thinking that you're not the duck you're quacking like.

Couldn't agree more. This isn't Baskin Robbins, no 51 flavors. You're either having sex with either the opposite sex, same sex, or both. No need for dozens of different labels saying the same thing.


Me, I was try-sexual. Tried both male and female. Liked both. Hence bisexual

[KDaddy23]

why put a name to it but bi does mean 2

Because it had to be done; the simplest explanation is that we need to be able to identify the things around us but, yeah, bi means two and sexual has been forever linked to being male or female - gender is actually irrelevant despite the inclusion of it in the current definition and even more so when transgenders can also be bisexual. We've expanded the definition of gender but by doing so, we overlook - or try to deny - the fact that there are still only two sexes: Male and female - your DNA does not lie and if you don't agree that you're the male or female that you were conceived and born as, that's something else. We don't fuss over heterosexual; we don't fuss over homosexual; we don't fuss over what those two words mean and implies. Say "bisexual" and now everyone's getting their panties in a bunch; we started coining new words for it, not because "bisexual" needed an update but because what the word means and implies clashes against what we believe or, I'm not the duck I've been quacking like for damned near all of my life... and the truth is that I've been quacking my ass off.

Saying that I'm heteroflexible or homoflexible might make other people comfortable... and I'd never do it because for me to attach that to me, I'd be lying to myself. The moment I became flexible in my sexual interests has a word that describes it accurately: Bisexual... with great emphasis on the "sex" part of it. Why put a name to it? Because way back in the late 1800s, if I remember correctly, someone finally put a name to this particular sexual behavior and, most likely, because no such word existed... but the behavior always did. Problem solved... until us finicky humans decided that even though this is how some of us behave, we don't fit the definition of the word. We're so fucked up in the head that we've taken that original definition and changed in ways that, when you get right down to it, changes nothing. Now, if you don't think it applies to you, that's on you. If heteroflexible or any other the other replacement words work for you, then it does... but if you tell me that you like men and women, physically and/or emotionally, the word that instantly pops into my head is bisexual. Simple and direct to the point and now the only real difference is how you go about being bisexual.

[Jazminedress]

eh, because we are human and humans have a need to label things..............and sometimes even if you have a perfectly good word, humans want to feel special and be called something else to make them stand out in some ways

As someone pointed out once "Labels belong on soup cans"

Personally, I just role with it, call yourself what you want as long as you are happy, my opinion or anyone elses doesnt matter. I spent too many years trying to figure out what to call myself, bi works, it fits I move on

[KDaddy23]

In this, the worst thing one can do is to bullshit themselves but, yeah, I really do understand it and I do have the nerve to say something about this knowing that very few people would agree with it and knowing they don't have to since we all have our own thoughts about what bisexuality is, what it means, and how one should go about being bisexual. Not heteroflexible. Not homoflexible. The duck you've been quacking like ever since you started quacking and how you're quacking doesn't change much of anything...

Because you're still quacking like the duck you say you're nothing like. Think about that one - I did.

[nu2curious]

There actually is a hetroflexuality test out there which is where the " word " comes from I guess. The basic assertion Joboo makes is something I relate to quite well, basically "everything has to be just so ". Being bi does make one very flexible however the degree which a guy acts on it varies greatly from person to person.

[csreef]

Years ago, when I was involved with the Kink community, I was told to change my orientation on my Fetlife page from Bisexual, to Heteroflexable, as it was more "acceptable".

In a "community" that was allegedly free from judgement, and discrimination, there was Judgement....I'm glad I left that lifestyle a long time ago.

[KDaddy23]

There actually is a hetroflexuality test out there which is where the " word " comes from I guess. The basic assertion Joboo makes is something I relate to quite well, basically "everything has to be just so ". Being bi does make one very flexible however the degree which a guy acts on it varies greatly from person to person.

This is true but in this - and everything else regarding sex - everything has to be just so: The right person at the right time and the right place and other qualifications as required and, as such, it has nothing to do with what you do or how you do it or even when you do... but has everything to do with the sure and certain fact that you have sex or are otherwise intimate with both men and women. As csreef said, it's more acceptable to say you're heteroflexible... but by any other name, a rose is still a rose.

[Long Duck Dong]

I have a friend that ids as heteroflexible and is open about the fact that they are heteroflexible....... a common argument against them is that if they are attracted to males and females then they are bi, as there is no such thing as heteroflexible......

However they are not attracted to males, they are attracted to cock and females so they go for people that do not id as male such as intersex females who have a penis......now the problem is that people use a rule of thumb of having a penis equals male, yet we have non binary, she males, trans, gender neutral, intersex......

Emotionally my friend is attracted to females, physically they are attracted to females, sexually they are attracted to females, they also love cock but they have zero desire or interest in males including males with penises so yeah the argument that they are bi because they love cock, ergo they are attracted to males, is actually a flawed argument......

I have a intersex female partner with a penis and vagina, if I suck her cock and eat her pussy, does that make me bisexual if I am only attracted to her and not males?????
For the record I am in a closed group with 2 females, one male and my intersex partner.... and some people argue that makes me bi, yet intersex are regarded to come under the trans umbrella which would mean I am pansexual while others would argue that I am still bi because bi does not mean attracted to males and females, it covers a much wider range of people now.......

so yeah you are what ever you call yourself..... and society just likes to *rewrite the rules * constantly with new labels and redefining labels so yeah no matter what you call yourself, others will say NO thats wrong, while saying acceptance of people is so important......