Advice Needed

[novaguy027]

I had a regular play friend in high school. Haven’t played since but have always wanted to. Well now I’m in my mid 40’s and want to more than ever. One problem........I’m married and nervous to get caught. How have you all pulled off the double life?

[KDaddy23]

It's not much of an answer but those of us who have have done so by any means necessary. A lot of guys just will not cheat at all... but the other reality is that this becomes such a compelling thing to do that it cannot be ignored or set aside and I don't know of too many guys who haven't sat themselves down and given a lot of thought about how they can do what they need to do while being married and not get caught or otherwise discovered. I have always said that the worst possible situation in the world is to be bisexual and married. It is better to ask permission than to beg forgiveness... but the truth is that a lot of guys wind up begging for forgiveness - and usually not getting it - because they know that if they were to ask for permission, they're not gonna get it. The hard truth is that some guys say, "Fuck the rules!" and do what they have to do and if for no other reason than it can become a matter of self-preservation and more so when wanting to do this -and not being able to - can make a guy "crazy" but, seriously, there probably aren't too many guys in your exact situation who doesn't know how much not being able to get some dick can bother the shit out of them.

There is no sure-fire way to go about this when being married. You're either not going to do it and no matter how badly you need to... or you're going to tempt fate and dive right in and hope you never get busted for it. There is no way that I know of to be 100% sure that if you ask for permission, you're going to get it but I do know that many guys find themselves having to beg for forgiveness... and they will never be forgiven. In all of male bisexuality, this is the biggest question and problem ever... and one that cannot easily be answered and no matter what anyone else will say about this, ultimately, it's up to you do decide what, if anything, you're going to do about this... even if what you wind up doing is nothing at all.

[Fred_Brice]

My Double Life!
I also had several friends in High School, but most of us were very still focus on the female sex. I was probably in my late in my mid 30's. when I was just gotten divorced from a bad marriage and I started focusing most of my curiosity, towards the male cock and why I had dated several women who enjoyed sucking cock and my ex-wife never enjoy sucking a cock. I had recalled one woman, that I had dated, always preferred to suck a cock and I was always assured that she would go down on me if and when we dated. One day I had asked her, why she enjoyed sucking cocks and she explained to me why she enjoyed sucking a males cock.

So now, being single once again, I decided to explore, why anyone would enjoy sucking a cock. I do know that I had never turned down a chance, to have my own cock sucked. As time passed, and just speaking only for myself, I have always had various curiosities, about any and all forms of sexual pleasures, for most human bodies, ever since I was a per-teen, I was just too afraid, to acknowledge them, let alone act on them. As a young lad, I had soon discovered, that I really was turned on, by my very own small boy cock. Often, I became very fascinated with my cock, by just reaching down and touching it, and playing with it, as it started to grow hard! I loved that; I was able to make it hard. Sometimes I would keep stroking it and it all felt great. As time passed, I discovered using some, hand cream and I found out that it got my boy cock harder faster. Little did realize that I would soon have a sexual climax, or an orgasm and I would soon be able to eject semen, from my own cock, at the same moment of a sexual climax. As time passed, I did have a few, weak sexual climax, and sometimes feeling a bit lightheaded, although I really did not know, what it was, but it sure felt great! Once I had noticed some, clear drops ousting from my own cock and I took the tip of my figure and removed it and place it in my own mouth, expecting to taste, like my urine, but to my surprise, it tasted a little sweeter and creamer, but I did know, that I had love it. I had found out later that it was pre-cum and I knew that I did love the taste. Every time I play with myself, I would always sample the pre-cum, even today, I now will always sample the pre-cum of every cock that I suck. Maybe that is why I enjoy sucking another man’s cock.

Still today, I can only tell you what it is like for me. Out in public, I am basically, just a normal and masculine man. In private, seeing another man’s smooth cock is an incredible exciting. The thought of sucking his sexual organ I begin to crave to have that man’s most trusted part of his body, his cock in my mouth. That is why I get off on it. Often, I can enjoy him sitting in a recliner and I spread his legs to enable access to his cock and his male pussy while sucking cock, sometimes I feel somewhat submissive. These are a few things that turn me on, while sucking another man’s cock. I know that I now have oral talents, and that I could please him, just like I enjoy being pleased, knowing that and I realized how submissive I was becoming. There were a times, I had pretended that I was sucking my own cock when I had another man put his cock in my mouth and allow me the pleasure to please him. I am now older and more than ever I do enjoy sucking a cock. I get off on hiding my secret sexual side. The fact of doing a sexual things that are still, not fully accepted in this day and age, makes me want it more. I am a cocksucker in private and that is my double life!

[GayGuy04]

I had a regular play friend in high school. Haven’t played since but have always wanted to. Well now I’m in my mid 40’s and want to more than ever. One problem........I’m married and nervous to get caught. How have you all pulled off the double life?

I think most married men are in the same situation as you are

[tenni]

Whether the bi guy is married to a woman or not, is important but there is a broader issue of being bisexual. The issue of being "out" in any form impacts a bisexual and homosexual.

Some see a need for bisexuals to be out and politically active fighting for bisexual rights on a larger platform. Many bisexuals who get involved with heterosexual partner (particularly female heterosexuals) risk rejection if they disclose their dual attraction to both genders. It is advised that the bisexual should be out to people that the bisexual wants to become sexually intimate. Society does not seem in agreement that bisexuals have a "right" to be intimate with those of the bisexual's gender and the opposite gender(not necessarily at the same time). Some heterosexuals accept non monogamy is part of being a bisexual partner. Some bisexuals become monogamous to a heterosexual.(s) Discussing boundaries in such relationships is essential but often blocked by the bisexual not being comfortable being honest about their sexuality.

Perhaps Novaguy might find the courage to admit to his wife that he is discovering that he is interested in men. He may relay his teen buddy as a starter and that he wonders what his wife thinks of this recall as a man in his 40's now. He may be surprised after an initial shock that she may be willing to explore his same gender interest. She may accept his play as long as she does/doesn't know the details etc.

[Jazminedress]

Well, first off, I would like to state, that my opinion is what is right for me, maybe you, maybe not. Similar to my own personal religous beliefs, they are correct for me, some others but not all. Only you can decide what is the correct path for you.

Personally, when in a relationship, I simply will not mess around with others (unless it is something we are into). I just do not cheat, no matter the attraction or desire. My personal feeling is, if I am going to do it, I will terminate the relationship. As someone who was cheated on, to me, it is a incredibly awful thing to do to someone, but again, my beliefs are my own.

When dating, I always around the third date, sat the person down and asked point blank, where are we. Do we want to date each other and see where it goes. Do we want to continue dating and see others, or are ya not feeling it. More times than not, I was told I was the first person that ever did this, and it was a relief that I was so straight up.

Each option, gave the other person a chance to make their choice. If the potential partner wanted to see others and me, I could go along with it, or say no and end it. This way neither of us felt bad, no one got hurt, kind of like not burning bridges at a job.

You have to ask yourself, is the chance of losing your marriage worth the sex ?
No matter how careful we are, there is always the opportunity for a mistake and getting caught. Honestly, this has nothing to do with being Bi, many hetero couples also cheat.

If messing around is more important than the marriage, you have one decision to think about, if your love of her is the most important thing in the world, you have a different answer.

I would never judge, or say what I think you should do, as, it is your life, but, I would respectfully suggest you think long and hard, look at worst case scenarios with both choices, and decide which one you would rather deal with.

[SlowNEZ]

Jazmine, great and thoughtful advice. Not only are you sexy and an attractive dresser, but your way-with-words bespeaks your insight and intelligence. Thanks from all of us.

[Jazminedress]

Jazmine, great and thoughtful advice. Not only are you sexy and an attractive dresser, but your way-with-words bespeaks your insight and intelligence. Thanks from all of us.

Thanks , I wish I was that smart, but sadly, sometimes life experiences are what we learn from. My ex was messing around while I had 3 jobs when my daughter was just a baby, so, I know how it feels.