How did you know you were attracted to men?

[Alex_rose]

Ive only been with women but even more recently I have been attracted to men and transgenders. I still am attracted to women but when I go online and look at porn and cam sites I tend to look more at guys and trans. I feel like my sexual urges toward men is purely sexual and not feelings of a relationship. But maybe I feel like this cause I never came out to anyone about my feelings and I'm afraid of judgement.

So my question is how did you know that you were attracted to men and was it just sexual or could develop into a relationship?

Thanks

[cornholejoe]

when i sucked and fucked a man in a 3 some with his wife so then later on i went one on one with a man i like both

[NJwood]

My first experience was in my early 20s. I had been approached several times in my teens by older guys but was in relationships with girls so had no interest. I was still exploring sex with them! That first time I was honey after another night at the strip club with only my own hand to satisfy my desire. When the guy asked me for a ride back to his hotel at closing time I thought nothing of it. When we got there he asked if I’d like to come up for a drink. I knew then what he was hoping for and since I was so horny I decided to go. Once in his room he said he was going to take a shower. Off he went and I knew at that point it was my decision. I got in the shower with him and had my first cock in my mouth. After that I never had another chance and left it as an experience to remember.
it wasn’t until my first wife passed away and I found myself once again alone. I wasn’t ready for a relationship but was getting hungry for sex.
I figured it would be easy to hook up with a guy and have some NSA sex. I wasn’t into anal but recalled how much I enjoyed sucking that cock years ago. I decided to check out where I might find some action and came across some ads for mens’ bathhouses. It was going to be the easiest way to explore it without any need to commit to anything. It was truly liberating to just get completely naked in a place with so many others all there for the same thing. I stuck to the wet areas and played with quite a few cocks and had my own fondled and sucked.
I go there whenever I return to visit family and enjoy that feeling all over again. It’s not that I’m attracted to men, I just love to suck cock and be naked.

[KDaddy23]

Growing up, I knew I was attracted to the sex and, like a lot of guys back then, the thought of actually being in a loving, caring relationship with another g? Oh, you done gone and hit your head or something! Ain't even possible since I'm not gay! But then I found out that it was possible and it was both disturbing and absolutely wonderful and that I am attracted to men... but not the way they look or dress; I'm attracted to the parts that can't be seen like their mind, their intelligence, their sense of humor and, oh, yeah, their dicks - I really like dicks and definitely attracted to the sex I can have with them and I don't have to be in a relationship with a guy to be attracted to having sex with him - and that's just and always has been me.

Guys are handsome... or butt ugly and it is what it is but it's what's on the inside - who they are, what makes them who they are, that's attractive... and, yeah, shameless, they have a dick I'd love to get hard and make soft again. I didn't really know that I was or could be attracted - just found out that what I thought was impossible wasn't so impossible but the sex? Always been attracted to that and always will be.

[csreef]

When I was 15, I had developed a crush for one of my male Teachers. . . Then I developed a crush for one of my others male friends, who was a local businessman.

Living in the area that I did, I had no one to talk to, and I was very confused and conflicted for many years.

[Jazminedress]

I got horny in the locker room

[Simon40]

I don't remember! I remember I found one of my grade school friends attractive. I don't know when I started finding him attractive, it seemed like it was always that way. We were a small class and of my two friends, there was the hot one, and the kinda boring one, physically, I don't remember there being an "aha" moment

[Cum1st]

My first live-in GF seemed to enjoy having my cock in her mouth. It was mostly when we 69'd before we fucked. Sometimes face deep in her wet beaver looking up at her fine ass I didn't make it to the fucking stage. She never backed off when I went over the edge. She always swallowed and sucked out what she could after. I liked it a lot, but didn't realize I could enjoy sucking another's cock.

I didn't want for good sex while we were together. Then she left, and I was in for an extended dry spell. I was a member of a back woods fire company. Some one in the group had access to porn movies. This was the early '70's. We'd all be in the dark room watching the hetero sex. Some would made some wise cracks, but it was most times a bunch of guys staring quietly at the screen never looking at each other's crotches or touching ourselves. I found myself wanting look at the lumps they wouldn't be able to hide with wet spots at their ends but couldn't betray my desire.

The ex had left behind a short stack of porno paperbacks. (No pix) These became my solace. The one I liked the most involved three criminals on the run getting plenty of willing women. It wasn't a great story, more a Bogard'ish era sexual fantasy. Eventually they came across an effeminate fellow that would relieve them in great detail. I wasn't repulsed by this. In fact I came quite a few times in this part of the story - especially where Dico the macho leader went down on him.

When I was propositioned I jumped at the chance. I got to swallow his cum but didn't cum for him. It was OK but I was conflicted with the 'real man/queer' thing of the generation. Eventually I began to crave cock more than worry about being a faggot. It was 'my secret' for quite a while, and at the time willing anonymous men were easy to find.

[SlowNEZ]

Similar to Jazmine, I became aware of my attraction to male anatomy in a gymnasium shower room. (I have previously posted some details of this eye-opening ecounter.)
It remains a great memory. 2 guys showering together, before bed, continues to be one of my go-to fantasies.

[MontyinHamilton]

I saw a guy jerking off in his car one night riding the bus home around 16 yrs old, I remember looking around to see if anyone else was watching and when they weren't I peeked back more than a few times til he turned off the road. He had a big cock and him stroking it stuck in my mind long after. And I would always fantasize about my girlfriend and other men, large cocks of course. Looking back a few yrs later I realized I was attracted to men, but too scared to do anything and lived in denial for years.

[dave347]

When I was in 7th grade. It was the first time I had to take a shower after PE class. I would try to take a quick look while we were showering and realized I truly enjoyed looking. I wanted to reach out and touch, but knew that would not be wise.

After a few years I realized it was the dick and not the man I wanted to experience. When I sucked for the first time and he came in my mouth, I knew it was all about the dick. I loved the feel of it in my mouth, the taste and texture of it, and how it swells up to release the cum inside. Did not need a relationship with the man and had no emotional attachment when in the moment.

[BrokenQuill]

I have had sex with both women and men since my late teens. More often than not I tend to have a longer relationship with women, but as I have matured, I find guys equally attractive now. If I were to be on the dating scene now, it wouldn't matter to me what gender I was dating, just as long as the chemistry is there.

[MidTownBob]

I was in a sexless marriage and turned to the internet for relief. My interests drifted around and I eventually found myself focused on bi and gay porn. It took some time, but I eventually realized that I had to try something with a guy. I turned to Craigslist and the rest is history.

[guywholikesboth]

at 13 after a friend shoved his huge cock into my mouth and fucked it till he gave me a big load of cum I swallowed

[Rvdude05]

At age 13, my 17 year old buddy was teaching me how to masturbate him. While I was slowly stroking him, I got so hard and horny. When he asked me to suck him, I immediately took it into my mouth. With a few instructions, he started to cum, and I swallowed it. I sucked him off almost every day, for 6 years, until he moved. I still love cock to this day!

[bikedoc]

I don't know if I am attracted to men as I only had relationships with women until middle age. However there were times when I wondered what it would be like to play with another man especially in a submissive role where I would suck and be fucked. After I had a major medical event I finally acted on these fantasies and I am happy that I have experienced sucking and being sucked and also being taken anally. Still attracted to women more than men though.

[bnicks122016]

When in my late 20s I continued to get more curious until to I had to act on my fantasies and desires. I hooked up with a guy I knew who was gay and was Always flirting with me. We spent a weekend together, I knew I was bi when I came without touching myself while sucking him for the first time! Probably came half a dozen times over the weekend! While I’ve only been able to have sex with another guy occasionally over the years, it always feels fantastic

[Rod_7_5]

In my mid teens, I had a brief encounter with a friend that was either comically tragic or tragically comical depending on your point of view. I often thought of repeating it, but never had the chance, and just chalked it up to being horny with no outlet but my hand.

Fast forward a few years, and my best friend/college roommate and I started watching porn together. We eventually started jerking off together, then jerking each other, and on to oral. It was after a few months when it became clear that we were using the porn as an excuse to get naked together to stroke and suck one another that I knew I enjoyed dick about as much as pussy. We enjoyed the porn, sure, and had very strict and (for want of a better term) conservative boundaries regarding what we were comfortable with. But there was no denying how much we both enjoyed it.

Despite that, though, it still took me many years to be comfortable enough to accept the term “bisexual” for myself.

[delpark]

Several things...I'd look at dicks in the showers of gym, a sleep over with a male friend which led to exploration of sucking his cock, being propositioned by a guy, being in a threesome with a married couple (she wanted two men) and me finding his hard cock in my hand and realizing I wanted that more than anything she had to offer. Also, my well thumbed "Joy of Gay Sex", the night my girlfriend and I were 69ing, she had me feeling so good that I knew I had to please men to that degree as well. Getting oral sex and wishing I was performing it on a guy. having my wife ride my cock reverse cowgirl and seeing her nice ass, wishing she was a guy. And a deep rooted desire that has bloomed to need.

[eager4cum]

not really attracted to men, just in it for sucking cocks. I enjoy friendships with men but not at all interested in them beyond friendship. BUT, give me a good looking cock (shaved or trimmed pubes, in the 6 inch area) and I want to suck the cum out of it. I started sucking cocks back when I was 12 and swallowed all the cum and have been thankful ever since.

[Cum1st]

not really attracted to men, just in it for sucking cocks. I enjoy friendships with men but not at all interested in them beyond friendship. BUT, give me a good looking cock (shaved or trimmed pubes, in the 6 inch area) and I want to suck the cum out of it. I started sucking cocks back when I was 12 and swallowed all the cum and have been thankful ever since.

I'm with you on male attraction. I can appreciate a well built man, but more likely to be a little envious than turned on. Get his pants off, and I'm all in. I'd rather watch a woman give a blowjob, but having my face in his shorts area - that's every bit as big a turn on as being with a woman.

[sybercom11]

Growing up, I was an effeminate sissy. Shaved my legs, wore my sisters' panties and everything. Used makeup. My friends were the other sissies and girls. But when it came time to be sexually active, the girls wanted nothing to do with me. But guys would take blowjobs from the sissies. I loved that attention from them. Later, I had to seek out men who would hold me and kiss me as a reward for my sucking them. It was great to feel appreciated!

[Tag200]

In a sociology college class in my mid twenties we were assigned to read an article on the Kinsey scale and gay tea houses and the video study from the 1950-1960’s. It really never occurred to me other than showing my cock and seeing one with a male friend when we were young that a guy could suck my cock and satisfy me and I could of course return the favor. I realized then and still now I have no attraction to men or want to date or anything else . My only internet is their cock to suck and their mouth to suck my cock.. I have dabbled a little often years apart but now I am ready and will start playing with men ongoing

[GreenFedora]

I don't remember a time when I wasn't.

[InManchester]

I had a few fumblings with male friends as a teenager, going back to when I was 13, but for whatever reason that seemed to fade when my attraction to females kicked in when I got to about 16.

It wasn't till I'd lived in Manchester a few years and went for a night out in the gay village with a group of friends that that side of me "reactivated". I remember a few days later, I bought this gay porn mag and felt "I want some of this".

[rukiddingme]

Always remember having some attraction. Played around with a neighbor friend a few times into our early teens. Most of my attention was toward girls. Was in several relationships with women, married then divorced. After that my interest in men just kind of resurfaced. I would say the access to the internet and bisexual sites evolved my desires. Early fantasies were with a girlfriend adding a guy. But as I stated, the internet searches as I aged would venture into not only bisex but into gay areas. When I am with friends, BBQs, sporting events, golf, or having a beer I look around at the women and still try to start a conversation and maybe have a date or two. But when I am alone and aroused my desires are strictly toward men. If I watch porn, or some online cams it is almost exclusively men focused. If a conversation starts and someone askes to meet up right away it is such a turn off. Sure I get aroused and think of the sexual part, but more so in a good friendship type, where we can hang out occasionally and have our private times too. So yea, the internet is probably the biggest part in bringing it out.

[tommyswing]

I had a couple of experiences in my teens. The first when I was 12. A friend and I were stroking each others cock on the side of my house, he had a thick cock with a very hot head. while we where doing this this he asked if I had ever frenched a girl, I told him I hadn't. He told me he would show me. I was so innocent I thought he just wanted me to know how to do it. He kissed me for about 2 minutes with our tongues softly tasting each other. It was pleasant, but i wasn't overly aroused.


The second was with my best friend, I loved being around him and physically close to him. I had known him from when I was very young and always had a little crush on him. He seduced me one summer when I was 15. He would touch me gently caress my neck, tell me in detail how large and thick he was, the shape of his cock. By the end of that summer I was in love with him. I stayed over his place one night, we slept in the same bed, and he grabbed my very hard cock. I was in heaven, I was so excited to finally get to touch him. He was as big as he said he was. I wanted to suck his cock so badly, but wasn't ready to go that far, and I guess he wasn't either. We would jerk each other off on almost a daily basis.

looking back I was romantically attracted to four guys, when I was 15, 17, 35 and 42. The rest of my experience was just love of cock, sucking and enjoying the feeling of someone inside of me.

[RisingBi]

In 1992, at 30, I found myself on a 5 month road trip to find my self and my heart that my girlfriend of 3 years just crushed after breaking up with me (we were going to get married). A few months in, after finally becoming okay with the break-up and putting it behind me, all of a sudden I started thinking about guys and fantasizing about having sex with them. I don't know what it was: perhaps finally I was at peace, and totally away from my life "back there" of the last 30 years, and feeling completely free and open to whatever the future will bring. And into that openness images of guys' cocks and asses, and desire for them, came pouring in. Yes, I found my self--my gay self, lol.

Having gone all over Canada, I was at this point in Washington state, and basically masturbated to my gay fantasies, and the open gay porn magazine on the passenger seat, all the way down to San Francisco for the next week or so. I only did a little bit of sightseeing on the way there, because I just had this driven need to be in gay San Francisco. When I finally got there, it was so exciting, and scary, to be in that wonderful Castro district. That first evening I saw my first adult cock close-up, an inch from my face in a striptease show in a theater. I was absolutely mesmerized with lust!

That began 21 years, back at home and in different places I lived, of alternating between (1) masturbating to mostly gay porn, reading and writing about gay fantasies and experiences, and fantasizing about everything gay, and (2) having my overwhelming gay desires drive me out to have anonymous oral sex with real men. The problem was that even though my gay desires were off the chart when leaving the house, hoping for sucking and fucking a guy, as soon as I got naked with a guy or guys in these different gay sex venues I visited, I lost all desire for the guy in front of me. I still feigned passion while deepthroating his cock, but I didn't feel attracted to him, and I had no interest in anything anal. Back at home, quickly, all my gay desires came back all the time, driving me out again to the bathhouses etc. But here's the thing: there were a few exceptions (5 or 6 out of 100-200 guys), where my desire and passion was full on for the guy I was with, (but still without anal feelings). So I was bi-confused.

And one day in 2013 I was at a bathhouse and instantly was attracted to this one young twink's ass, spent over an hour tonguefucking his asshole with a hunger that I never knew I even had, and finally fucking my first man. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed this experience. I also felt that it opened up some repressed gay part of me, and allowed me to love my bisexuality, the gay part of me, and really rejoice in it, and accept it (at least partially, as we'll see). I stopped all anonymous sex then, and have only gotten together with guys in each other's homes since then, for a closer connection. I now have desire and passion with almost all of the guys I get naked with, and most involves anal as well, at least rimming.

But I still feel there might be some repression by my unconscious mind (or in Freud's terms, the superego part of my mind). Our society has certainly driven that message that homosexuality is wrong deep into all of our minds. So even though I intellectually believe that it's not wrong, and certainly have embraced it fully in my fantasies, my unconscious, superego mind is still acting to prevent me from fully opening up and accepting my gay attractions, desires, and thinking towards men, that I totally have towards women. For the most part, I'm still not attracted to men with their clothes on, in every day situations, not like I am with women. I've also never had romantic feelings for a guy, except in my fantasies, where I think about how wonderful it would be to have a male fuck buddy, FWB, boyfriend, or even husband. In my fantasies I feel so gay.

So I just started trying to figure this out with a therapist. I realize that my attraction to men has so far been an evolving process. Is it just the cock and the male ass that I'm attracted to, and not the whole male body, let alone the person as a whole? For some guys, that's the way it is. But because I have evolved from strong fantasies about everything gay but almost never feeling any attraction to even a guy's cock when I with him in real life, to feeling a lot of passionate desire for a guy's cock and ass when I'm naked with him, I suspect the still-some-repression theory is going on. I'll have to see how that unfolds.

But I wish you the very best luck in your own journey, Alex.

[69plus1]

When I sought out the bi threesome stories in Penthouse Letters and Forum, hey it was the 90's!

[Waylon]

When I started letting them put their dicks in my mouth to suck and swallow.

[Biryder]

not really attracted to men, just in it for sucking cocks. I enjoy friendships with men but not at all interested in them beyond friendship. BUT, give me a good looking cock (shaved or trimmed pubes, in the 6 inch area) and I want to suck the cum out of it. I started sucking cocks back when I was 12 and swallowed all the cum and have been thankful ever since.

Good point. I was very young the first time I sucked my first cock. I sucked my 15 year old cousin. I loved it from the moment I put it in my mouth. It was wonderful. I also would get excited looking at cocks long before that. I can not remember when I did not.

I am with you, not really attracted to me just their cocks. I love sucking and being sucked. I love to have a cock in my mouth. From the beginning I looked at it like just a couple of guys having some fun. From childhood I had long term suck buddies. Although since I have gotten older not so much. For the past 10 years it has been hit and miss. More miss than hit. I sure do miss sucking cock on a regular basis.

[tommyswing]

In 1992, at 30, I found myself on a 5 month road trip to find my self and my heart that my girlfriend of 3 years just crushed after breaking up with me (we were going to get married). A few months in, after finally becoming okay with the break-up and putting it behind me, all of a sudden I started thinking about guys and fantasizing about having sex with them. I don't know what it was: perhaps finally I was at peace, and totally away from my life "back there" of the last 30 years, and feeling completely free and open to whatever the future will bring. And into that openness images of guys' cocks and asses, and desire for them, came pouring in. Yes, I found my self--my gay self, lol.

Having gone all over Canada, I was at this point in Washington state, and basically masturbated to my gay fantasies, and the open gay porn magazine on the passenger seat, all the way down to San Francisco for the next week or so. I only did a little bit of sightseeing on the way there, because I just had this driven need to be in gay San Francisco. When I finally got there, it was so exciting, and scary, to be in that wonderful Castro district. That first evening I saw my first adult cock close-up, an inch from my face in a striptease show in a theater. I was absolutely mesmerized with lust!

That began 21 years, back at home and in different places I lived, of alternating between (1) masturbating to mostly gay porn, reading and writing about gay fantasies and experiences, and fantasizing about everything gay, and (2) having my overwhelming gay desires drive me out to have anonymous oral sex with real men. The problem was that even though my gay desires were off the chart when leaving the house, hoping for sucking and fucking a guy, as soon as I got naked with a guy or guys in these different gay sex venues I visited, I lost all desire for the guy in front of me. I still feigned passion while deepthroating his cock, but I didn't feel attracted to him, and I had no interest in anything anal. Back at home, quickly, all my gay desires came back all the time, driving me out again to the bathhouses etc. But here's the thing: there were a few exceptions (5 or 6 out of 100-200 guys), where my desire and passion was full on for the guy I was with, (but still without anal feelings). So I was bi-confused.

And one day in 2013 I was at a bathhouse and instantly was attracted to this one young twink's ass, spent over an hour tonguefucking his asshole with a hunger that I never knew I even had, and finally fucking my first man. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed this experience. I also felt that it opened up some repressed gay part of me, and allowed me to love my bisexuality, the gay part of me, and really rejoice in it, and accept it (at least partially, as we'll see). I stopped all anonymous sex then, and have only gotten together with guys in each other's homes since then, for a closer connection. I now have desire and passion with almost all of the guys I get naked with, and most involves anal as well, at least rimming.

But I still feel there might be some repression by my unconscious mind (or in Freud's terms, the superego part of my mind). Our society has certainly driven that message that homosexuality is wrong deep into all of our minds. So even though I intellectually believe that it's not wrong, and certainly have embraced it fully in my fantasies, my unconscious, superego mind is still acting to prevent me from fully opening up and accepting my gay attractions, desires, and thinking towards men, that I totally have towards women. For the most part, I'm still not attracted to men with their clothes on, in every day situations, not like I am with women. I've also never had romantic feelings for a guy, except in my fantasies, where I think about how wonderful it would be to have a male fuck buddy, FWB, boyfriend, or even husband. In my fantasies I feel so gay.

So I just started trying to figure this out with a therapist. I realize that my attraction to men has so far been an evolving process. Is it just the cock and the male ass that I'm attracted to, and not the whole male body, let alone the person as a whole? For some guys, that's the way it is. But because I have evolved from strong fantasies about everything gay but almost never feeling any attraction to even a guy's cock when I with him in real life, to feeling a lot of passionate desire for a guy's cock and ass when I'm naked with him, I suspect the still-some-repression theory is going on. I'll have to see how that unfolds.

But I wish you the very best luck in your own journey, Alex.
wow So much like me. I really identify with that desire to feel gay. I realize I have a need to express that side of me, I would go to an abs, gay bar, or a bathouse. I also don't find men in everyday clothes attractive, like I do women. I did have 4 romantic experiences, age 15, 17, 35, 42. I started as a top and evolved into a bottom, that's when my fantasies turned from sucking a huge cock, to more romantic, submissive type. I have a reoccurring one where I'm about 17 and fall in love with a guy in his 30's takes my virginity and becomes my protector.

[BiGuy97015]

When I was in college at USC, I loved porn -- especially women deep throating cock. IT got me so turned on I started thinking about if women could suck cock and love it, why couldn't I? So I started answering personal ads. The first guy I was with was a professor who taught me how to suck cock and, as a "lucky strike extra", taught me how my ass could take cock. He was the first guy to fuck me and I've loved cock ever since. I learned how to really suck and deep throat cock by watching the hot porn chicks and simply copied them. Now I crave a cock balls deep down my throat....

[charman]

I'm with you on male attraction. I can appreciate a well built man, but more likely to be a little envious than turned on. Get his pants off, and I'm all in. I'd rather watch a woman give a blowjob, but having my face in his shorts area - that's every bit as big a turn on as being with a woman.

I'm right there with both of you. Love the feeling of the cock (soft or hard), the smoothness. Love feeling it slide in and out between my lips. And of course the taste of that wad.

[ClassicPaCpl]

Im not really attracted to men... I love women, think they are the most beautiful things on the face of the earth. Men on the other hand. Im just not attracted too...
The cock on the other hand I think is a very sexy, very beautiful thing and I just love it. Mostly cocks between 5 and 7 inches, Yes I guess I am picky but big cocks dont do much for me.
a nice 5 to 7 inch cock with shaved balls, nice thickness and a big head.... Now your talking attraction!
But thats just me

[Tag200]

Im not really attracted to men... I love women, think they are the most beautiful things on the face of the earth. Men on the other hand. Im just not attracted too...
The cock on the other hand I think is a very sexy, very beautiful thing and I just love it. Mostly cocks between 5 and 7 inches, Yes I guess I am picky but big cocks dont do much for me.
a nice 5 to 7 inch cock with shaved balls, nice thickness and a big head.... Now your talking attraction!
But thats just me
Same here women are beautiful and sexy , not attracted to men at all, however I am interested in their cock that I am attracted to

[RisingBi]

wow So much like me. I really identify with that desire to feel gay. I realize I have a need to express that side of me, I would go to an abs, gay bar, or a bathouse. I also don't find men in everyday clothes attractive, like I do women. I did have 4 romantic experiences, age 15, 17, 35, 42. I started as a top and evolved into a bottom, that's when my fantasies turned from sucking a huge cock, to more romantic, submissive type. I have a reoccurring one where I'm about 17 and fall in love with a guy in his 30's takes my virginity and becomes my protector.
Thank you so much for commenting. It is so nice to hear that another guy really identifies with that desire to feel gay and to express that side of himself. You're so fortunate to have had a few romantic experiences with guys. That is really cool. I sometimes wonder about that myself, that it is when I finally bottom for another man that my full-fledged gayness will come out, and feel a real emotional connection with the guy, even romantic feelings for him, even falling in love with another man. Maybe that will happen for me. At the very least I want a versatile FWB who I really connect with at an emotional level, a friendship level, who I really like, and of course have awesome sex together. I wish you continued success in living your own gayness.

[Fred_Brice]

My first experience in my early teen’s. Often, I had been approached, several times, in my teens by older guys, but was in and enjoying my relationships with learning more about female gender, so I really had, little or no interest in men. I was still exploring sex with the female gender! Once I began having sexual relations with females, I really enjoyed it very much, maybe even addicted to it.

Eventually I found a job, at a neighborhood grocery and I did not have a lot of time to for dating, nor did I have a steady girlfriend. On one warm summer evening, I was at the store and an elderly older man who lived in the neighborhood and a regular store customer and he had asked me, to help him help move a few things in his bedroom and he would pay me for my time, so I agreed to help him. As I had said, it was a warm summer night and we both were dressed in shorts and tee shirts and after a while, we both started to sweat a bit, as, we moved things around. Soon both, of our tee shirts, were drench with sweat and he then suggested that we remove our shirts, cool down a bit. He then asked me if I wanted a drink and that he had some wine. I did liked wine, since I had tasted it, at few family functions, so I said yes. We both sat down on his bed, as we drank our wine, we both did cooled off, a little. I was starting cool down a bit, but I did feel a bit warm feeling, as I continued drinking, my glass of wine, as we started talking about each other. He told me about the death of his wife, many years and about how he missed her. Soon he asked me, about my own love life. I cannot remember, exactly how it had gotten around to that, and he did seem, to be more concern, about my sexual life and soon, it was more about my own, sexual experiences. At some point, he had placed his hand, on my thigh and after a while, his hand, slowly moved up, and in between my thighs and his hand was getting closer to my crotch as I was talking about my sex life, or lack of. My own cock was now starting to get hard, and he soon placed his hand on the bulge in my shorts and he had, also started massaging my hard cock, and I started breathing hard, in no time. He asked, if he could see my young boy cock and before knew it, he made me stand and he undid my shorts, then he pulled them down along with my tighty whites and I stood there completely naked, with my hard cock pointed at his face. He wrapped his rough hand around my cock and then started stroking me and making me moan. with pure ecstasy. He then asked me, if I wanted to feel, how it felt to have another person suck my boy cock. I was in a wine induced trance and all I could do was, nod my head yes. He wrapped warm moist lips around my boy cock and his tongue danced all over my boy cock head while his hands squeezed my ass cheeks. It did not take long and I soon, started to cum hard and fast, into his mouth and he swallowed every drop of my cum load. After a while, and after I caught my breath, he stood up and undid his pants. His cock was much bigger than mine and it was rock hard and much thicker than mine, maybe about 7” or so. He took my hand and put it on his cock. He asked if I wanted to try to suck it, and I told him, that I never sucked a man’s cock before, so after a while, I leaned over and instinctively I then, started to stroke him and I was amazed, at how warm his cock felt and the texture, it was more about curiosity, and somewhat appealing. Soon I took his cock, in my mouth and I was amazed, with his big mushroom shaped head and it was soon hitting the back of my throat, as I slid my mouth up and down instinctively. He was soon moaning in ecstasy and started bucking his hips up and down, so I took his swallow and sucked his cock faster and deeper into my throat, as much as I could, as I moved from the top to deep inside my own throat. After what seemed awhile, I could fell his thick cock throbbing a bit, and soon, he shot his warm load of man cum, I had tried to swallow, as much as, I could and some of it, began to leak from my mouth, all over my face and soon onto the floor. So, I had my first tasted of another’s man cock! I did understand, at lease at that time that, in my life, that it was not considered normal, so I then focused on what I believe, was considered to be normal, which was a male and female lifestyle. After that experience, I never had another chance and left it, as an experience to remember.
It was not until, late in my marriage, my wife and I discovered that, she had cancer. It became clear that she not going to beat damn dreadful Cancer and after she had passes away and I found myself once again alone. Although, I still felt that I still was attracted to women, I was not truly ready for a female relationship but was getting hungry for type of sexual relief.
Then I started to remember that elderly old man, that seduced me, at a young age and I figured it would be easy to hook up with a guy and have some NSA sex. In all honesty, maybe I became aware of my attraction to male anatomy, meaning other male cocks, first time I had to taking a shower, after my schools PE class. I would try to take a quick look, at other males while they were showering and realized that maybe I enjoyed checking out other male cocks. I had spent a large amount of time playing with my own cock and I understood the pleasure that I learn to enjoy. Sometimes in a gym shower room, I just wanted to reach out and touch their cocks but knew that would not be wise move. After a few years, I realized it was the really the male cock, and not necessarily the male, that I wanted to experience. Back when I sucked my first cock and he came in my mouth, I knew it was all about the cock. I loved the feel of a cock it in my mouth, the taste and texture of it, and how it swells up to release the cum inside. I really did not need a relationship with another male or have any emotional attachment when with another male. I had figured the easiest way to explore a new lifestyle, as I had mentioned, without any need to commit to anything. I was always open to nudity so being naked with other men seem be truly liberating, and maybe enjoyable! It is not that I am attracted to men, I just remember loving to suck another males cock.
Now when I do, go online, and look at a few sites and I tend to look more at guys and/or maybe transsexuals. I truly feel like my sexual urges toward another man’s cock is purely sexual and not feelings of a relationship. But maybe I feel like this because, I never shared my feelings, and I am afraid of being judge by my family.