Has anyone been discovered/caught by wife or gf?

[BeauKnerr]

I did and it wasn't good. Over a period of years, my ex-wife caught me a few times using Craigslist and throw-away email accounts, mostly used to communicate with guys. On the third, and final strike, my screensaver failed to work and she went on a scavenger hunt on my computer after I had fallen asleep. She found a mail account still logged in on the browser and forwarded several messages to herself and took screenshots. Then she startled me awake and, in a fog, I remember getting blasted with the words, "your computer....you're gay!....divorce...". I guess it wouldn't have helped my cause at that point to tell her that I had also had liaisons with a few women, too, so I just kept silent. Ha. Not proud of it all, but the marriage had gotten to be a bit of a wreck at that point for other reasons. She was on the verge of beginning an affair of her own, so it was just a matter of time. But, this situation accelerated things and became the main reason in her mind. She told some of her friends and family but not my kids as far as I know. Nobody talks about it but it hangs out there.

Now, I've been with a new fine gal for several years and I'm trying not to fuck it up. No, she doesn't know. In an ideal world, I would be able to be open about it, but my gal abhors the notion of bisexuality -- "they should just make a choice", she says. She likes her men to be manly men who love to eat only pussy and who don't suck cock. So, I try to behave. I have not met up with a dude in several years, since before my marriage ended. But as you know, you can't just shut it off. But I'm still at risk of getting caught again by being on this site, messaging a guy here and there, watching guy porn, etc.

The irony is that technology has enabled bi guys to operate more on the down low and it has increased our risk of getting caught either by our own slip ups or through surveillance by suspicious partners. Be careful out there, fellas.

[Oborokybiman]

Thank you for sharing! I didn’t get “caught” so to speak. But left my wife for control issues. Had no where to go and ended up at a friends house for about 5 weeks. He was bi and knew I was bi. But there were kids in the home so there was not much contact. His gf was into whatever she liked at the time, men, women, couples....I dated a lot of women and had oral with a few select men in CL. So miss CL!
But finally got back with my wife because of our children. I told her of my sexuality and she had the choice to get over it and stay together or we would divorce. It didn’t last long as I had an appetite for men and not her at all. The control factor came back in to play. Held my sexuality over my head and used it against me with my kids! Should have known! She still is a pain in my ass! But the youngest will be 18 in July and I’m done!
Anyway, my point is that when I meet someone and want to date, the first thing I tell the person is my sexuality and if they are fine, then we date! If not there are plenty of women with open minds out there! I will never hide my desire for exploring with men that are like minded. But that’s my own opinion. Stay safe and be happy!

[BeauKnerr]

Thank you for sharing! I didn’t get “caught” so to speak. But left my wife for control issues. Had no where to go and ended up at a friends house for about 5 weeks. He was bi and knew I was bi. But there were kids in the home so there was not much contact. His gf was into whatever she liked at the time, men, women, couples....I dated a lot of women and had oral with a few select men in CL. So miss CL! .....

Yes, old Craigslist personals had its issues (as did many of its users!), but it got the job done on occasion. The price was right, at least.

Sorry to hear about your marriage, but at least you were able to give it a second shot. And kudos for being able to come clean at the outset of a new relationship. I could never get there. I lived in a relatively small southern city at the time I met my current gal. While I would have like to at least try to say, “here’s my deal” when meeting new ladies there, it would have been the same as taking out an ad in the newspaper and announcing it. How can you be sure a new acquaintance will keep your confidence? In fact, I think it would be the opposite. “How’d your date go with that guy from Match?”. “Oh my God, do I have a story. He’s bi! I wonder if his church and the people at his office know!” And soon, I’m part of every gossip circle in town. Now I’m in a much larger metro area and might have played it differently had I been here then. But I’ve been with my gal now for several years, and I don’t see a point in risking it, given her strong anti-bi views. She would try to be understanding because she deeply loves me, but it would emotionally upend her and she would never look at me the same again. She HATES homosexual imagery and thought of a cock in my mouth would kill her desire for me. Sucks, I know.

[MontyinHamilton]

Yep, a few yrs ago I was dating this lady, very hot and had the body of a 22 yr old at 40 something yrs old, had a great time dating her and was sexually attracted but my desire for men kept me from getting it up and keeping it up for her, had to do doggy all the time and I could never unload, even after hours of trying and imagining men instead, but I'd go home and rub off 2 or 3 a day just thinking about my buddy down the street who I fooled with occasionally. so after about a month of this she blurts out one day her ex husband had the same problem and she found out he was fooling around with men. Was i ever with men? i said nope and said it was a trust thing and I needed time to feel more intimate with her (if any woman told me their new b/f said that, I'd say yep he's probably into guys lol) long story short she asked me a few weeks later if I wanted kids? I said maybe, she asked if you had a son what would you name him, and said - --? The name she said was my screen name from a forum and. I tried to keep a poker face but she knew lol. She sounded really disgusted talking to me after she let that off and I never heard from her again after I left. I tried to say hi a few days later and she just replied, you're kidding right? I was freaked out but she lived in another city so I wasn't too worried about backlash. My current ex who I broke up with recently because I just don't have the desire for women any longer would try to destroy me which is funny because she fooled around with a few women before she dated me and I didn't care one way or the other. I didn't keep any toys in my house or evidence and erased everything every time and double checked before she came over. Now I won't have to hide anything since I've decided to try dating men exclusively now.

[BeauKnerr]

Yep, a few yrs ago I was dating this lady, very hot and had the body of a 22 yr old at 40 something yrs old......

Wow, she sure came up with an elaborate way of telling you she knew. Hey, at least you're being authentic and honest with yourself now and not trying to be something you're not.

I still require a steady diet of pussy, so there is no way I could give that up. My interest in guys is strictly limited to cocks and what can be done with them, so I would never be completely fulfilled in an exclusive relationship with a man.

Similar to your old gf, my current gal is in her 50's but, in addition to being strikingly beautiful, has the body and sexual appetite of a 32 year-old. For the past 5+ years, we've had sex 1/day on average, sometimes more, which is a huge step up from my marriage where it had dwindled to 1/month maybe. I've not been with a dude now in several years, and while I often get a craving, I'm thinking that it's something better left in the fantasy world. Even when I did act out, the reality of being with a guy rarely measured up to the fantasy. I did try, but maybe I didn't try enough. Only a few times, in the midst of a "bi cycle" have I fantasized about me being 1:1 with a guy while having sex with my gal. More often, I have fantasized about her being a "hotwife" and being done by another guy without my direct involvement, except for reclaiming her directly afterward. I guess that's a common fantasy among bi- dudes, but it works well in my case, because it only increases my desire for her. She has actually fantasized about having another guy(s) at once, but I don't think she could ever go through with it. But I'm hoping...that would be the ultimate. I suppose I would identify more as a "stag" than a "cuck", however.

[NJwood]

I wasn’t caught, I was asked by my wife when we were dating. I told her and she found it very hot. Fast forward to 2 years ago and 12 years of marriage. She had gone through menopause and was finding sex difficult. It diminished but wasn’t lacking the desire. I would take care of myself more often. Decided I’d try a dildo. One day she came across the package and asked me about it. No accusations, no screaming. We talked and gl came to an agreement on the rules of engagement. I could pursue guys within specific rules. Nothing crazy just some common sense. Telling her right at the beginning of our relationship made a world of difference.

[BeauKnerr]

I wasn’t caught, I was asked by my wife when we were dating. I told her and she found it very hot.....

You're so fortunate to have a wife that not only understands your bi- orientation, but thought that it was hot and is open to your exploring it.

My gal is quite kinky and adventurous when it comes to sex, so one would think she'd be open-minded about this. Nope. She has very strong feelings that her man must be "masculine" and dominant in all respects, which to her includes being 100% straight. If she knew I was a 1-2 on the Kinsey scale, versus her standard of 0, my stock with her would tank. I don't know that she would bolt on me (as long as I haven't cheated on her watch) since she's very emotionally vested. But regardless of how much she loves me, she would be miserable trying to reconcile all of this.

I've had a couple of near misses with toys and the like, which almost blew my cover, so I've been much more careful. Funny... my desk drawer is currently stuffed with some very sexy stockings and panties which I bought for her for Valentine's Day. I'm not into CD at all but I had a fleeting nervous fear of her finding them -- not because it would spoil the surprise but because I've heard so many stories of guys getting busted when the wife finds their lingerie stash. I had to remind myself that these are actually for her, not to mention being half my size, and that I have nothing to hide in this instance, at least. I've made myself so paranoid!

[NJwood]

After the bs I dealt with in my first marriage I wasn’t going to leave any aspect of my sexual desires hidden. For me, that was the reason I was dating, sex and intimacy. Having to worry what my partner would think of me just wasn’t going to happen. Either than we’re into it or I was moving on. What really turned my wife in was the confidence I had in my sexuality while still being very masculine. I climb trees for a living so it was quite a contrast in her eyes. Yeah, yeah, “I’m a lumberjack and I’m ok!”

[MidTownBob]

I had taken an assortment of pictures with other guys that I would use to post on various hookup sites. Unfortunately, my wife found them on a USB drive. Things went downhill from there.

[Christopher South]

Was fucking a guy who claimed were were "exclusive". After 15 months of no sex between me and my wife, we went on vacation a few days after I had hooked up with my friend and we had drunken sex. He had given me Chlamydia and I gave it to my wife. Yeah, she found out.

[Alex_rose]

Was fucking a guy who claimed were were "exclusive". After 15 months of no sex between me and my wife, we went on vacation a few days after I had hooked up with my friend and we had drunken sex. He had given me Chlamydia and I gave it to my wife. Yeah, she found out.
Damn that sucks, talk about getting fucked twice.

[Footstep40]

Some truly heartbreaking stories.
I count myself lucky as hell, but I admit it was embarrassing and stressful at the time.
I was dating the father of my wife’s college roommate when I met her. The boyfriend and I were just starting to get frisky in the hot tub, when his intoxicated daughter and my future wife came by to slip into the same hot tub, as we were going to be out of town that weekend...Surprise! Two naked guys kissing in a hot tub! It was also the same time that her roommate found out her newly divorced father was gay. The daughter freaked out and ruined not only the night, but the relationship kind of soured after that.

15 months later I’m at a bad party, had an awkward “hey I know you” moment with my future wife. We started chatting and hitting it off, more booze, more questions from her..”aren’t you gay?” Nope, I like both. Turns out she did too, and we liked each other enough to start dating and here we still are, after she first met me when I was naked, kissing an older guy with my hands full under the water.

[BeauKnerr]

Some truly heartbreaking stories.
I count myself lucky as hell, but I admit it was embarrassing and stressful at the time.
I was dating the father of my wife’s college roommate when I met her....

Holy hell, that's a reverse spin. You can't make that shit up! I don't believe that movie has been made yet.

Great story and glad it worked out. But, how does Thanksgiving go in this situation? ;)

[Bottomhubby]

This just happened recently. I was at a married FWBs house on my back with my legs over his shoulders getting my second cock injection. We thought his wife would be gone all day . When she just walked right into thier' bedroom..
I just knew I was gonna have to fight my way out of there. When she said glad you found a hole to fuck. Next time use the other room.
She had snacks and coffee waiting when we finished. She was glad her husband was gay and he had found someone that likes to be fucked. They are both in thier' late 60's and she just doesn't have a sex drive.
She said she couldn't handle him being with another woman but him fucking a man was good.

[rukiddingme]

Not wife or gf, but sister when I was 14 with my neighbor friend. She said I need to be careful not to be caught by our parents