FIRST TIME CRUSH...PLEASE HELP!!

[SweetCherryBombz]

Okay. Well here's the deal. I'm in my mid twenties. And I've always been a "homophob" up until about 4-5 years ago. A guy I was friends with had a total fetish for bi's and tried to turn me onto the whole idea. Well, it worked. Slowly but surely. I never told ANYONE that I was starting to become attracted to women. Because I LOOOVED men too. About a year ago, in a drunken night I told my best friend I was curious. She said she had been with girls and would be my first. So we got together several times, strictly sexual. Her husband watched and joined in alot of the times. Which I was okay with. But we don't get together anymore (we've kind of drifted apart). But ANYWAYS....I love guys, I love sex with guys. But I will admit when I find a female attractive also. And get turned on by females on tv/movies/porn, etc. Well, I've just recently become friends with a lesbian. She's never been with a guy, and she hasn't tried to convince me or "turn me". She doesn't know all of the details about the expierences I've had either. But I have been finding myself thinking about her ALOT more lately. And I think I've even come to grips with the fact that I have a little "crush" on her. So what do I do now? I'm totally confused because I've never had a "Crush" on a female before. It's always only been fantasizing, or a sexual thing. Please help! I need some advice!! :eek: Thank you very much!!

[justthesamea]

Well, I've just recently become friends with a lesbian. She's never been with a guy, and she hasn't tried to convince me or "turn me". She doesn't know all of the details about the expierences I've had either. But I have been finding myself thinking about her ALOT more lately. And I think I've even come to grips with the fact that I have a little "crush" on her. So what do I do now? I'm totally confused because I've never had a "Crush" on a female before. It's always only been fantasizing, or a sexual thing. Please help! I need some advice!! :eek: Thank you very much!!

CherryBombz, I am new at this as well.. and yes I have just...in the last year become friends with a girl who is bisexual... and I was not aware of this until recently as well...

Maybe just start with telling her about your sexuality... that is kinda what I am doing.. haha maybe you want to wait to see how it turns out for me. haha...

I recently told my friend about me being bi... however, this did not solve the problem.. of my "CRUSH" on her... I have been aware of my sexuality for a while.. just have never really been true to myself or other people around me..

do you think she is as connected to you as you are?
duder.. sorry I can't help more.. hehe.. but I will let you know how things go for me.. and then maybe I can help ..
However, not every sitch is the same..
This sight is great.. for advice .. and stuff.. when you are feeling confused or lost.. It has helped me out tons...
Good Luck! update us

[SweetCherryBombz]

do you think she is as connected to you as you are?



She just got out of a four year relationship. Her very first, and only lesbian relationship. She's never been with a guy either.

Anyways, so she was bumming about that, and I've been helping her through it. And seems like I find myself flirting with her, and I'm pretty sure she's been flirting back lately. She's made comments about how I'm the only one that understands her, etc, etc. I'm not sure if I'm just reading too much into this or what. But there's definately SOMETHING there I think.

Opinions and advice greatly appreciated. :tong:

[shameless agitator]

If she's flirting back & you think she's interested, I say just kiss her. See where that leads you.

[TashaSW]

Ive got a crush on a friend Ive known since childhood but while she shows signs of possibly being bisexual too, I don't know if she is.
She knows I am and encouraged me strongly to try dating women.
(however, Im really thinking Im not Bisexual at all but I am a lesbian.... lots of reasons points to that lol)

I want to tell her I have a crush but..... problem is, theres 17 years of friendship so thats hard cause one wrong thing could ruin the friendship and I wouldn't want that to happen.... so its hard :-)
I have hinted it to her but I never got any reply about it so I don't know if she caught them or is ignoring them.

However, Im just gonna let time do what it wants :-) Im just happy to be her friend lol

Tasha

[Herbwoman39]

Wow...this boat that we're all in together is getting pretty crowded :)

My crush knows that I've got it pretty bad for her. Unfortunately she's clear on the other side of the country and I don't know that we'll ever get to meet.

Shameless Agitator has the right idea, although if you're reading the signals wrong, that kiss could really blow it. Maybe try talking first and sounding her out. Let her know about your sexuality and maybe be a little more intense with your flirting. Touch her arm. That's always a good signal that you are interested in her. If she plays with her hair around you, that's a signal that she might be interested in more.

Just go slow and test the waters. If you jump in head first you might brain yourself on the rocks just below the surface.

[taz67156]

I'd say take it slow and let time tell you if she is interested in you cause if you move to fast then it might cause problems later on which I'm sure you don't want so let nature take its course and show you the right way to go with it

[SweetCherryBombz]

Yeah, taking things slow is what I'm pretty much doing. Because, to be honest with you, I'm kinda scared. I've never had a "crush" on a girl before. It's always been just a sexual thing. So I'm pretty nervous about the whole situation. :confused:

[shameless agitator]

testing

[justthesamea]

CherryBombz, I am new at this as well.. and yes I have just...in the last year become friends with a girl who is bisexual... and I was not aware of this until recently as well...

Maybe just start with telling her about your sexuality... that is kinda what I am doing.. haha maybe you want to wait to see how it turns out for me. haha...

OK... This turned out good for me.. I just confessed how I felt this weekend.. and things went great! ends up she feels the same way as I did.. she just didn't want to tell me.. cause same same.. she didn't think I felt that way about her.. WEIRD.. and honestly I didn't know what to expect.. I just through myself out there... I was shaking.... and nervous and all that stuff... I know.. it is weird that it is about a girl.. I am still trying to wrap my head around that one.


I recently told my friend about me being bi... however, this did not solve the problem.. of my "CRUSH" on her... I have been aware of my sexuality for a while.. just have never really been true to myself or other people around me..

sooooo... I have also confessed this to a close friend.. he is a boy.. and he is totally cool... now I just have to take it easy and careful on who I talk to about it...

do you think she is as connected to you as you are?
it sounds to me like there is a connection.. But I totally understand where you comming from... where u have know idea if she feels the same way... I say tell her.. maybe not now.. wait a bit until she has settled down a bit from her breakup... just so you are not a rebound and end up getting hurt..

duder.. sorry I can't help more.. hehe.. but I will let you know how things go for me.. and then maybe I can help ..
However, not every sitch is the same..
This sight is great.. for advice .. and stuff.. when you are feeling confused or lost.. It has helped me out tons...
Good Luck! update us
Thank you for the update.. and hope things work out for you.. sounds like they will though...! take care :)

[justthesamea]

Yeah, taking things slow is what I'm pretty much doing. Because, to be honest with you, I'm kinda scared. I've never had a "crush" on a girl before. It's always been just a sexual thing. So I'm pretty nervous about the whole situation. :confused:

CherryBombz, how do you know that... your other experiences were only sexual? this made me really think..
Like I know what only sexual is with a guy.. but I don't know what only sexual is with a girl...
I definately have feelings for this girl.. and can't explain them.. but is it only sexual ... hmmm... you made me think on this one...

talk to you soon

[Tynary]

hey darling if you like this girl and feel she likes you back then I think it would be good for you to have a relationship with her. although since she has just come out of a long term relationship it is indeed wise for you to not rushher. Have her take you to a few bars and firt somr more it could be an interesting experience for you.

[SweetCherryBombz]

CherryBombz, how do you know that... your other experiences were only sexual? this made me really think..
Like I know what only sexual is with a guy.. but I don't know what only sexual is with a girl...
I definately have feelings for this girl.. and can't explain them.. but is it only sexual ... hmmm... you made me think on this one...



Well, any other girl I've just flirted with, or played around with. I have only felt it to be a sexual thing. No feelings involved. Kind of like with a guy. You know that guy, you are totally turned on by, but could NEVER be in a relationship with him? So you just screw him? HAHA!! Well, that's what it's like. BUT...this girl I'm referring to is different. When I'm with her, I feel like I feel when I'm around a guy that I have a crush on, or have feelings for. To be honest with you, when I first met her, I was not attracted to her what-so-ever. But since I've gotten to know her, it's been a totally different story. I'm sooooo attracted to her personality, that it makes me attracted to her, all together. Do you understand? Hope so!!

Thank you SOOOOO much for your advice, and your update. It does make me feel a little better. Now if I can have the patience to take things slow like everyone is telling me to do, then things will be alright. LOL

YOU keep ME updated too!! I wanna hear about it!!