It's complicated being a bi male

[Bimiself48]

Throughout my life I have lusted after men, while at the sametime I have lusted and fell in love with women. I have tried to tell the women that I loved my desires, but that was not received well. So to come out the way that i know I am would mean to give up women, and I'm not willing to do that. At the same time, even if I did, a gay partner may not be willing to accept my desire to be with women. Either way I feel like I may never be able to be completely honest with whoever I am with.

Am I alone, or is there anyone else here conflicted with the same paradox?

[Nocockyet]

I think there are many of us in this position. It's easier if you are one thing or the other, but even among bisexuals, there is a huge mix of preferences. Tops, bottoms, those who want a relationship, while others can't stand the thought of kissing someone of the same sex. I have enjoyed anal play for longer than I was sexually active. Up until recently, I couldn't fathom the idea of letting a man enter me. As part of the ongoing exploration of what turns me on, I have accepted that I am Bi, and that I really want to have someone penitrate me and give them pleasure. And I know that will make it even more pleasurable for me. I still love being with women, I crave that even more than my bi fantasies, so there will always some internal conflict.

[bblover]

Here's my take. You aren't alone, at all. Im 43, and until recently I never admitted to myself that I was bi. I began having bi sex when I was 13 and continued for years. I just told myself I was getting a nut. I loved women and lived a fully straight life for 20 years. Recently, my wife helped me come to terms with who I really am.

She is truely a blessing. Without her Id still be conflicted, self-loathing, and miserable.

There are understanding women out there. Be honest upfront and you'll find the right person.

[Jazminedress]

what everyone above said...................But I always maintained, bi women, everyone applauds and thinks its a beautifal thing.
Bi male, not so much

[csreef]

When I was 15, I knew I was Bi. I didn't have anyone to talk to . Today there is the Internet, and LGBT Support groups.

[csreef]

what everyone above said...................But I always maintained, bi women, everyone applauds and thinks its a beautifal thing.
Bi male, not so much

This is the true Double Standard that we face in Life!

[KDaddy23]

It's a common problem guys face until they figure out that just because they like men and women, they don't have to give up one for the other. Being honest about your sexuality and/or desires is never easy; you can tell your lady about your feelings in this and that she's likely to have a hissy fit about it isn't unusual but the fact remains that you told her the truth about yourself... even if you're not gonna be allowed to do anything about it. Some gay guys might not be accepting that you still like/love women and get pissy about it... but you still told them the truth about yourself. It's not your fault that there are both men and women who do not understand being bisexual and the best you can do is to surround yourself with people who do understand it and to understand that even if they don't like that you're bisexual, you're still being honest about it with them and, importantly, yourself.

[Bimiself48]

Thank you to all that have responded so far. I find it very liberating and therapeutic to have a place to openly discuss things I normally keep bottled up.

[KDaddy23]

Thank you to all that have responded so far. I find it very liberating and therapeutic to have a place to openly discuss things I normally keep bottled up.

That's why we're all here - to support one another. I've learned that the "worst" thing about being a bi guy isn't being unable to have the sex: It's not having anyone they can talk to about their thoughts and feelings and without getting their asses handed to them.