11 reasons why gay marriage should be banned

[kittles555]

can't take credit for this, since i got it off another site, but I thought it was something to share.

1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.
2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can't legally get married because the world needs more children.
3. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; just like women are property, blacks can't marry whites, and divorce is illegal.
6. Gay marriage should be decided by people not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.
7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
10. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.
11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't adapted to cars or longer lifespans.

[hypershot]

Who the hell wrote that crap???

That makes no sense at all!

[djb1981]

Exactly, Hyper, exactly.....

[wellred]

Folks, this is a joke, which pokes fun at those with limited perspectives and underlines the duplicity of standards in our societies.

We need to lighten up, just a little.

- Red

[hypershot]

I realised it was a joke but I still think the person who wrote it needs a good slap!

[julie]

I realised it was a joke but I still think the person who wrote it needs a good slap!


er.. why?

julie :shades:

[hypershot]

Forget I said that...was in a mood at the time. I apologise.

[julie]

Forget I said that...was in a mood at the time. I apologise.


What was that Hon? Forgotton already ;)

Take care Chris :bigrin: love Julie x

[julie]

can't take credit for this, since i got it off another site, but I thought it was something to share.

1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.
2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can't legally get married because the world needs more children.
3. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; just like women are property, blacks can't marry whites, and divorce is illegal.
6. Gay marriage should be decided by people not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.
7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
10. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.
11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't adapted to cars or longer lifespans.


Hmm, sad we are so used to these messages, that when we first saw this post a couple of us completely missed the irony :(

Julie x

[softfruit]

Given popular racial stereotypes about senses of humour, I was just enjoying someone from the USA posting that and someone from the UK not getting it... though I'm glad the penny dropped after a bit :)

[bigregory]

Im going to marry my dog.
hes cute, warm, and very loving.. :doggie:

[holydragoon]

oh I just loved it! maybe it's just because I love sarcasm ;)

[rupertbare]

Ha! Ha! Ha! Oh gee this is just sooooo funeeeee!!! Read this first thing in the morning and has set me up for the rest of the day - as a "short" chap I will now endeavour to hang around with tall people - I need to grow!!

Thanks for this one Kittles555 - we need the occasional "funny" posting.

Rupe, UK.

[Heartless01]

WAHAHHAHAHA
Heee hee hee
(snort)
hahahahhahahah

Good one!!!!!!!!

[CherryBlossom74]

Wo...I mean WOW. Those should be printed in the newspapers of every politician and theologian around. That way they can have their morning paper give them a side order of heartburn for breakfast. :bibounce:

[dexter]

This is not only one of the funniest things I have read in a long time, it is one of the most perceptive and insightful. I will be making copies to give to people I know and I will be using these arguments in talking with people and getting them to re-examine their beliefs in light of these analogies.

(K)ittles certainly has my gratitude for sharing this fine piece.

And I think it's almost as funny that people here, at THIS site of all places, should miss the obvious intention of the author.

Maybe that means that the piece will be appearing in GOP literature and in so-called conservative media (maybe even their churches!) as serious, logical reasons to keep persecuting gays people and their supporters.

But then, again, some things never were, and never will be funny.

[mike9753]

It's interesting that this first post was misinterpreted. It is a very emotional issue on both sides. The conservative right is afraid of what they don't know and liberals want freedom - in all it's manifestations. When issues are as supercharged as this, sometimes subtle parody's don't get understood for what they really are.

Mike

[m.in.heels&hose]

it is funny, but it also made think a little, but i kept going back to what i havwe been saying for years

"judge a person by whats in their head, and not whtas in their bed"


thanks again for listening to me and my rantings! :bipride:

[whichway2005]

I understood this as a sort of a joke but mostly this is about the foolish thinking of what some call conservitives and or christians. But if you look at the big picture it shows foolishness on all sides. The gay community seems so anti christian because the christian church does not believe in gay rights. This country was founded by men and woman that fled the persecution of the church in Rome or better known as the catholic church. From all the studies I have done there are only a few obscure religions that use same sex sexual encounters but this was mostly always women with women. The vast majority of religions do not except gay rights, in fact many religions had or have laws that if you are found to be gay you will be put to death.
There is a differance between christian churches, the church of Rome was all about you will live this way or you will be put in prison or put to death, that's why we have America and so many differant christian churches. Most christian churches are a chosen live style unlike the church of Rome, a forced live style.
Marriage between a man and woman today is a forced live style. How you ask? It was a pope from the catholic church that made the decision that all marriages were to be performed by a catholic priest, if you did not stand before a catholic priest to become married to the church then you were living in sin. In this country the government uses a marriage licence for control and profit. Before the church of Rome put every one under their control a marriage was something that was between two families, no priest no government. A man purchased his bride and in return the bride gave the man a gift showing that she excepted and they lived happily ever after without a government intruding into their bedroom.
So I ask what the hell is wrong with the gay community that they want the government involved in thier lives? I know this will upset a lot of people but I think it would be much better if the gay community worked to keep the government out of their lives just the same as it would be better if the government would stay out of the lives of hetrosexual families.
I have always put an effert into respecting the way people choose to live, respect to get respect. I do not care if you choose to live as a gay couple that is your business not mine or any one elses. The gay community is asking for big government to become bigger and to pass laws to control and regulate their lives. The more we ask the government to do by passing laws the less free we become. The truth about most christians is that they do not know the differance between helping and interfering. I have spent most of my life in biblical study and we are to love our naighbor period, it does not say except if they are gay or bisexual. If you believe what the bible says then you should know that all, meaning every person will give a personal account of themselves. So that means for those that condemed any one will answer for that act. Understand this very important thing, the man that keeps his head high will lose his head more easily than the man that keeps his head low.