Disbelief

[ZettaiUnmei]

So a few weeks ago I got drunk and made out with a guy for the first time at a party. I also went on a drunk 20 minute rant about how I was bi.

Anyways, tonight me and my roomate were joking about how when we died we'd have to live our worst day over and over again. I actually had a lot of fun that particular night.

Her: Yeah, you'd have to live through that night where you made out with Tom and then gave a big speech about how you're gay.

Me: I'm bi.

Her: Same thing.

One of my other friend, who is gay does the same thing. Here's an example:

Me: So there was this girl who's really hot at work...blah blah blah. So today she was...

Him: (interrupts) Blah Blah Blah..Lie Lie Lie

I don't even know how to respond to this. When my friend came out I didn't constantly make statements about how I think he's really straight or something.

I'm just dealing with all this right now and its very hard for me. It sucks to tell your friends and then just have them think you're in denial or lying to yourself. Like being bi is any easier than being gay.

I have one bi friend (girl) who I met in college and still keep in contact. She basically told me that when you tell people you're bi that most gays think you're just transitioning and that most straight people think you're just confused.

Is this an issue for everyone? It just sucks to try to really own up to who and what you are and have your friends constantly laughing and openly not believing you.

[Reprob8]

Some gay people have to live 2 lives, one with striaght friends and associates and one with gay. I have my striaght friends, bi friends, gay friends and none of them realy understand. Sometimes the way I talk the bisexual people I know wonder if I haven't gone completely over to the gay camp(sometimes I wonder too). I guess the moral is if you are going to be completely out then you will have people like your freinds questioning you.

[Celtiff2106]

I can totally relate to what you're saying. Lesbians think that I'm a lezbian with homophobic issues and straight people think that I am just a curiuos straight female. It really frustrates the hell out of me. The best soulution that I have devised is to just continue to reiterate that I am bi, and live as such.
Hope that I helped. :three: :flag3:

[shameless agitator]

This hasn't been much of an issue for me, but I do have one friend who's convinced I'm straight & just confused.

[warm heart]

:bibounce

Oh God i can soo relate. I only recently came out to a select few. The amazing thing was that my kids were cool with it - the younger generation seem so much more accepting of difference and diversity. My mom has her head in the sand and thinks i am going thru a post seperation from a male phase....ie i hate men i think i want to be a lesbian for a while!!!!!!!. Some of my straight friends were awesome but the saddest thing was the reaction from my lesbian friends who were scathing towards the bisexual community......ranting about all those steroetypical myths - ie we are promiscious, fence sitters, straight girls just fucking with the heads of the real lesbians, bi curious, sluts or just too afraid too acknowledge we really are lesbians....

Man it was really hard to hear those opinions from the very people that i thought i would be accepted by, and for a while it really knocked me and made me wonder why the hell did i come out at all. I still struggle on a day to day basis and wonder if i will ever find a place where i am truely accepted for who i am....lol....in the mean time i come here for the love and support and conversation of people who care, understand and accept me just for being beautiful, wonderful me.

Allow this site to do the same for you......we are all together on our seperate journies....here to love and support one another.

Thank God for Drew.....for creating the site......love and light Drew

Lots of love hugs and support
Warm heart :flag3:

[DiamondDog]

The easiest way not to get "boxed in" is to not give a fuck what others think about you, and just know what you yourself are. Educate them but if they don't "get it"; but don't press it, and I suppose the easiest way to do this is just to see it as a very small aspect of what makes you a person.

I know it's easier said than done, especially if you're around het people who automatically assume that you're het with their limited worldview, and who you can't tell yourself about or who you don't want to tell about yourself.

As for myself, I've been very fortunate in that my family/friends have been very accepting of me, even when I was in sort of a limbo where I was really confused about the idea of orientation labels that kept getting thrown at me, in reguards to my own orientation. Where all of the orientation labels that I was hearing and identifying with how they were just other words for bisexual.

[darren2458]

i'll be honest - i can't relate to the issue at hand much because i do identify as gay and have ever since i was a small boy doing my best flashdance impressions and asking my mom, "if i were a girl, i would want you to have named me roxy!" but... this is a topic that i feel stongly about because i had, for years, been on the other side of the arguement.

i always had this, "bi's are wierd" kind of attitude. whether it was because my first boyfriend was bi and used to cheat on me with women, then say, "i'm bi it's what i need." or because i just didn't have any examples of "bisexuality" to look at. i just always thought that it was either a strange form of sexual selfishness or that it was just the "offramp" on the way to "gaytown." i think ALOT of people view it that way, when you say you're bisexual you're really saying, "i'm not ready to say i'm gay yet, so... this is what i am."

it actually wasn't until i met drew, the creator of this site, that i really changed my viewpoint. getting to know different people and hearing their stories made me stop and think about where i was coming from. working with drew has been a great experience on many levels (and i've told you this so - hi man! - i hope you don't mind me sharing - hehe) personally, it's opened my eyes to see things in a different way - for me to become an advocate for the bisexual community is a position i never imagined i'd be in (and i've been in my fair share of positions) lol.

i think the point that i'm trying to make is that i think it all comes down to ignorance. and i don't mean that in a negative way - it's a word that's so often used in a "bad" sense. i just mean... if people don't know, they can't understand. i never understood because i never got the chance to actually ask someone who was bisexual, "why do you identify as bisexual?"

like everything in life and relationships... it's all about education and communication...

i think :)
dusty

[smokey]

Its funny with one or two exceptions the only ones who have ever claimed that I was in denial were gay men.

[Tynary]

quote 'bis are weird' =ouch! I'm glad yours views have changed because that opinions hurts so much.
When people are prejudice against gays it makes me so mad but when they don't understand bis I just get so vunerable and sad and feel all alone in the world. The gays who think I'm a lieing tart or in denial have no idea how muchthey hurt me sad *makes sad, puppy eyes vunerable face* and the straights who dnt understand. They call me gay but I adore men and women are so hot that it hurts.
Why do people want to hurt me? *sigh* and just want to be loved by all. I want relationships with lesbains, straights and bis. But men are afraid of my bi sexuality, lesbians hate it and I never meet bis.

[darren2458]

Why do people want to hurt me? *sigh* and just want to be loved by all. I want relationships with lesbains, straights and bis. But men are afraid of my bi sexuality, lesbians hate it and I never meet bis.

let me help you with that... gay men are fuckin nuts, lesbians are scary (don't let them smell fear on you!) and EVERYONE else is bi, they're just sheep and can't see beyond how they were raised. :P

seriously though (because most of that was a joke ;) tynary, i hope what i said didn't hurt your feelings at all - if so i appologize, what i was trying to share was my experience being on that "other side" and why - i feel - people on that other side (gay, lesbian, straight) feel the way that they do - because they just don't understand or have the experience... like you said, "i never meet bi's."

i believe that bisexuality is the sexual majority - without a doubt i believe this. BUT gays have a clear "community," and straights do as well... bisexuals fall somewhere in the middle and that's always a more difficult place to be. i believe that's the reason why places like this site are so important and why i've been so happy to be a part of it (gay, straight, black, white, dog, cat, whatever...)