Opinion anyone

[biwmtrucker44]

Read link and comment .https://bi.org/en/articles/am-i-still-bi-if ... I find my self fluctuating

[KDaddy23]

It's nothing unusual. Almost every bisexual I personally know has something about this fluctuation thing and if it's anything, it's part of the "adjustment" process and, nope - "public opinion" doesn't help matters and more so when there's so much shit being written on how someone has to be bisexual in order to be "officially" bisexual. One's brain is almost always "trying to make sense" of the feelings coursing through it and almost like it's trying to say, "Make up your damned mind! Is ya gonna be into guys or gals?" The "50/50" bisexual? If one exists, I've never heard of or met them and I supposed this comes up because some people think, "Well, if you're gonna be in between straight and gay, then you have to be into men and women equally!"

Um, it doesn't work like that. What people aren't often aware of at every moment is how one's thoughts and feelings are constantly "moving back and forth" and I mean literally from one moment to the next where you can feel great attraction and desire for men and, faster than you can blink, you have that great attraction and desire for women. Some bisexuals say that they find themselves being more or less interested in having sex with men/women and, because of all the hype, if the interest is more toward men at any point, well, shit - could I really be gay? It's possible... but not usually likely in bisexuals and more so when a lot of this isn't being driven by our conscious thinking; our subconscious is in the background and calling the shots and influencing our conscious thinking and is, I learned, one of the reasons why a lot of people get dumbfounded to discover that they have feelings (of some kind) for same-sex stuff and they ask, "Where did that come from?"

This gets to be some seriously deep shit and too much for most people to think about. You're gonna fluctuate because sexuality is really as fluid as they say it is; they just don't have any real idea of just how fluid it really is. Sometimes it helps to think "men and women" instead of "men or women." It can help to not give into the habit of slicing and dicing your desires and there's men on this side and women on that side but it's also pretty normal that a lot of bisexuals do this. I know my thoughts and feelings bounce around all over the place so much that I've learned not to pay them a lot of attention - and I don't question them. Even I learned, early on, if I start bugging about things going back and forth, I'm just gonna make myself crazy.

People also tend to question their bisexuality based upon what they do in the majority of times, like how some bisexuals actually say, "It's not something I do all of the time..." which, duh, of course not but this is one's mind still trying to pin things down in this and the more you try to do that, the more this fluctuation thing tends to confuse and, again, "public opinion" is always trying to make people pick a side and stay on it and even them saying this is trying to throw a wrench into how fluid sexuality really is. I always say that I'm bisexual; I'm both straight and gay... but neither one exclusively. I like men and women but the thing I really understand is how my thoughts and feelings will be flip-flopping back and forth. I get asked, "Which do you prefer?" and that's a loaded question and one that "forces" you to pick a side and being bisexual is about being able to pick both sides. "If you had a choice between sex with a woman and a man, who would you have sex with first?" Again, another loaded question just like the first one. My answer? "I'd take the woman... but I wouldn't say no the dick and I might even take the dick first... because, um, I'm bisexual and for me to be "forced" to make such a choice doesn't make any damned sense to me and it shouldn't make sense to anyone else, either.

The fluctuation is sexual fluidity at work and if there's a trick to it, it's to not try to swim against the current and I found that, for myself, it's less "stressful" to not think about what I want to do but to be more "centered" on what I can do if given the opportunity. I can be dick-deep in my wife and still want a dick and the reverse is true and if it means anything, it means I'm very much in "bisexual mode." I want both. I can have both and sometimes literally. But that doesn't mean the fluctuating stops - just a matter of whether or not one should be paying so much attention to it... and I don't. It is what it is.

[Long Duck Dong]

With my partner who is an intersex female, they are able to have sex as a male or a female, so yeah the gender aspect does not come into it tho with the other male and two females in our group, there is a gender aspect but that has more to do with emotion and contact rather than purely sexual.....

for the longest time, I held off entering into a relationship with my partner because my emotional state had a habit of shifting... and I hated the idea of being in a relationship and waking one day to realise that I no longer felt the way I did, towards the other person....of course, dealing with a personality disorder did not make things easier. lol........but bisexuality is presented as an attraction to males and females, less often is the bi romantic aspect because people tend to be mono romantic and choose one partner as a romantic partner.... and so people confuse the two aspects because they want the bisexual aspect and the mono romantic aspect and have no idea how to make it work........of course they also want a partner that is fully understanding and accepting and preferably a partner that shares the same desires and thinking......

lol reading the article, the person asking the question is 17, and when I was 17, I could not even make up my mind what takeaways to have.... I was aware of my attractions to different people but sex was just sex, it was no strings attached, to me and I did develop a very selfish thinking that sex was about me, the other people did not matter or have an opinion and that was something I actually hated in myself...tho I see the argument surface from time to time in older people that sex is just sex, their romantic partners should just get over it and stop being so selfish and only thinking of themselves......

anyways, if people want to call themselves bisexual, go for it... but bisexual can be more than just sexual, there is also the romantic aspect which can be seperate and that can be confusing, specially to a 17 year old

[KDaddy23]

Shit, by the time I was 17, I was an old hand at being bisexual. I was having a lot of sex but I also had a good grip and understanding of my thoughts and feelings and fluctuating - that ebb and flow thing - didn't make me question being bisexual. But I had an advantage that a lot of 17 year old - even when I was 17 - didn't have: I got started early so I had the curiosity and time to process things and to ask questions so I could find the answers. Not easy to deal with when, "typically" a lot of people don't have any kind of sex until they're 16 or 17.

[stonebow]

Wow...that young man was really torn up about his sexual identity... in a very different way. When I was his age my big worry was that I was gay. Bisexual was barely on my radar but when I did become aware of the designation it still wasn't a lot of comfort. The fact that he WANTS to wear the label but doesn't feel worthy to....is really a different dilemma! I would have advise him to forget the labels and just follow his heart...and his dick...to whatever form of pleasure he can share with another person, regardless of their gender.

[Warren63]

Didn't know what bisexual was when I was a teen. I did have a friend that shared hand jobs together. I also let him put his cock between my butt cheeks and pump against my ass and balls till her would ejaculate on my balls. I remember wanting so badly to put his cock in my mouth. Sadly I never did.