Why Bisexual isn't a place for hook ups...

[dowmass]

I know this has been discussed before, but probably still do not have answers.

This site has been a great resource to get answers on the forum, for folks to discuss some of the most intimate questions. The audience is great - It would not be an understatement to say that we have a bunch of very creative, intelligent folks who participate on the forum.

My question is this: The site is quite responsive, and probably a good platform for bi People. Why then has this failed miserably as a place for BI folks to meet and hook up with others? I even started a group to see if there were like minded people who might be interested, but that attempt failed to attract anyone.....

Can anyone give me an answer or hazard a guess as to "why"?

I am sure there are thousands, if not millions that go on other sites like "Plenty of Fish", "Ashley Madison" and other platforms to find a partner, be it being a bottom or a top - why then does this site not work for hook-ups?

Lastly I see much less folks online than there used to be - Are bi folks becoming straight? That for sure, would be bad news!!

[Christopher South]

My reason to come here is to talk to other guys in my situation (married and bi), not to hook up. I wouldn't say no to a good sexual connection but it's not my goal when I joined.

[Grant_Norman]

I did hook up with a guy from here and we met a couple times, but nothing really developed long term. Since the demise of Craigslist personals (I used to score an average of 3-4 per week or more) and always 1 or 2 a night in my hotel when traveling . I have yet to find something that provided regular hook-ups...real bummer...bust on doublelist, silverdaddies, adam 4 adam, and many others; even newer Craigslist...all the others seem to be just credit card hunting. I'm currently in Central America (hiding from wife and COVID-19) and this is quite a non-LGBT area of the world, however I did find a fellow expat on fetlife down here but we haven't been able to hook up because of lock down. But he has a beautiful cock and I can't wait to feel in my mouth and swallow down a load.:bigrin:

[dowmass]

I did hook up with a guy from here and we met a couple times, but nothing really developed long term. Since the demise of Craigslist personals (I used to score an average of 3-4 per week or more) and always 1 or 2 a night in my hotel when traveling . I have yet to find something that provided regular hook-ups...real bummer...bust on doublelist, silverdaddies, adam 4 adam, and many others; even newer Craigslist...all the others seem to be just credit card hunting. I'm currently in Central America (hiding from wife and COVID-19) and this is quite a non-LGBT area of the world, however I did find a fellow expat on fetlife down here but we haven't been able to hook up because of lock down. But he has a beautiful cock and I can't wait to feel in my mouth and swallow down a load.:bigrin:

So you agree with me - as many others will that CL was the best place for a hook up, without having to use a credit card. Of course some were constantly griping that there were "weirdos", "Junkies" "Sick people" (AKA carriers of HIV & STD's and "Questionable" characters. The world is poorer with the disappearance of CL. There is no viable alternative yet, thanks to the law that could punish sites being the platform for prostitution.

[tenni]

First, what makes you think that Bisexual.com was intended as a hook up site? (It was not)
Wanting a CL section is kind of contrary as to site developer designed the site. I have been a member since 2006 (lost my password in 2009)

You mention some of the reasons to see this site as a success. (resource for bisexuals etc.) I suspect that the site is/was different things to various people.

The past use of a chat room made some people more comfortable and they left when that was no longer here. Some stayed.

The site has been an up and down as far as participants. There was more of a community aspect to the site for a while. The focus on sex acts has varied. Trolls invaded the site for awhile.

Imo this site is less bisexual than what it was and that was not a hook up site. It happened I'm sure but less up front. Flirting happened in the threads more often than now.

The presence of bi women made the site more inclusive and less sexually graphic site. They added softer gentler, intelligent aspect. Wit and humour was more present than now.

If you were looking for friendship with other bisexuals , you had a fair chance. The threads are much more blunt now sexually than they use to be.

The site chugs along though and hopefully never becomes just a sex pick up site.

[bikurinpa]

First off, most areas are like mine here, No one on here are local and the ones who are within a couple hours are just BSers or plainly not compatible!

[CurEUs_Male]

I agree with Tenni, it was not a hookup site for the most part. Those are out there, and remain if that is what you want.
Bisexual.com has certainly had it's share of sex focused users and activities, and really did not fare well for that. Clearly the loss of most of the women and their perspective has left some things lacking.

This was and remains a community site, but for many bi men, they remain closeted when the shelter of an anonymous web site is not there to protect them, and so really meeting with locals is a rarity.

I have found more community among meetup.com, with the right interests, although that is all but silent these days as well... I look forward to the end of isolations, but I know that will not come for a long time.

[Annika L]

To fail (let alone miserably) at something, one must try to do it. I don’t think you can say that this place has failed as a hookup site any more than I have failed as a nuclear physicist.

[NjbiGuy01]

I think the site has been poorly run.

The original operator Drew was overloaded with work (I offered to assist or even buy the site), but he passed away. I think his brother (?) may be the new owner-moderator now.

It had a tolerable chat, which is now gone. It never had a decent personals section either. There was a bunch of trolls posting here that either left, got banned, or warned.

It's a decent discussion forum but not a ton of traffic or new members, and no web promotion that I've seen anywhere online (no banner ads or anything online on other adult sites). There seems to be no ads here either (to generate revenue) either. So, not terribly well run. Silver Daddies, Adam4Adam, and the various swinger sites are so much more active.

I've been here a long time and I still love this place, but wish it were run better.

[bikurinpa]

To fail (let alone miserably) at something, one must try to do it. I don’t think you can say that this place has failed as a hookup site any more than I have failed as a nuclear physicist.
Problem here for meeting any one or "hook up" every one is so scattered, like here, there is no one within a 100 miles!

[dowmass]

I have found more community among meetup.com, with the right interests, although that is all but silent these days as well... I look forward to the end of isolations, but I know that will not come for a long time.

Is it possible to be anonymous on "Meet up's? I mean when one signs up, do you not need to give your real name? I have this concern because I am BI, but not out at all. Giving my real name would be disastrous!

[KDaddy23]

As I understood it when I joined, it's not a hook-up site as a primary purpose... but even I thought that this remit wouldn't stop members from wanting to actually meet each other. So the potential to hook up is here but not the reason why the site exists. Add on that there are probably more apps (and maybe other sites) that are dedicated to hooking up - uh, dating - and, well, the apps and sites are just better tools for that purpose. The site allows us to message each other; we can arrange to converse off-site so if there is some interest in getting together, well, we can do that if we can. So this place being "primarily" a hookup site isn't necessary and more so when we have members who, let's say, have... issues with hooking up and what it implies. But, sure - if you message each other and decide that meeting each other in the flesh would be a good thing, you can do it. I like that this isn't a hookup site since they can be very messy.

[zbi73]

Many are still coming to terms with their sexuality or are in the closet. For me, it's an outlet to express/be myself and that's enough.

[Coastocoast]

The site did not appear designed by Drew as a hookup sight, read what it was and what it has become. Drew always stressed things in #1 of the Forum rules. "1 - Don't post your personal ad here. They just clutter up the forums. By far the best thing to do if you are looking to meet people is create a quality personal ad under your Control Panel. These ads then show up highlighted to people in your area. " Nobody seems to post thoughtful personal ads in their Control panel. You can look through personal ads and contact people that you feel are looking for the same thing you are after reading them carefully. Yes the now gone chat rooms resulted in some people getting together. The forums USED to (Read back to about 2013 or so in the forum archives) contain thoughtful provocative talk on issues impacting bisexuals. It was not the "talk like 9th graders" or post photos to jerk off that it has become in recent years. It chased many regulars out when newer people wanted it to become a replacement after they lost Craigslist and ShyBiGuys went under. Look at the forum posts on PISS Play during the past months / year then look at those same types of posts Drew deleted over 5 years ago there were many. He did not stand for it and always tried to keep the site on track. Drew, we miss you.

[playful808]

As I see it, there are many good hookup sites out there already. There are many good porn sites too. Better than a small site like this can ever hope to match. But there are NOT any good discussion sites for men that are bisexual or questioning or closeted. (There are some for women.)

SBG restricted pic access to users who had posted more than 100 times. This seemed to limit traffic from drive-by strokers. Discussions were lively and interesting.

[fede77]

Hey guys,

Just to know, what's the best hook up site for you ?

thanks!