support groups

[mike r]

My wife knew about my adolescent bisexual experimentation and was fine with it. She even accepted it when I came out as fully bi years later and encouraged me to attend a support group at a local pride center here in New Jersey. I went. It was full of activity and staffed by mostly younger men and women excited by their newfound liberation. They made me feel welcome. When I went to my support group though, it seemed kind of sad: a dozen down in the dumps gay (not bi) men bemoaning the fact that they were only out to friends not the whole world. some did celebrate small victories. I didn't go back. But there are so many activities I could be of service. It would give me a chance to wear by bi flag pin...

[KDaddy23]

I think support groups are excellent ideas but you probably do wind up with some in the group who, instead of celebrating their sexuality, are all disgruntled over it; seems to me that this brings a group down and, perhaps, even distracts from celebration as the group members feel a need to rally around those who aren't having a good time with their sexuality and, as such, the focus is now on the "Debbie Downers."

[mike r]

exactly. in addition the needs of gays and bi folk are not the same kdaddy.

[KDaddy23]

Indeed, they are not... but I'd say it's easier to lump bi and gay guys together and that the needs and other things are related and the same... and they aren't. True enough, both gay and bi men have "coming out" issues but that, in and of itself, isn't unusual or even unique; we all - and regardless of sexuality - want to be accepted as being what we are and when what we are - bi or gay - is greatly frowned upon, sure - that's a problem. But not a problem that gets solved by dumping on other people or raining on someone's parade who is quite happy and exhilarated with their sexuality... and I think it's safe to say that this does happen within support groups.

It's a good venue to air out the joys and downsides of being bisexual but the purpose is to celebrate the joys but just be mindful of the down sides and not make them a main topic of discussion. I know I wouldn't want to be in a group and having to listen to someone going on and on about what they don't like about being bi or gay, you know, if a gay person was permitted into the group and it makes a kind of sense that they wouldn't be because, as you correctly said, the needs of gays and bi folks are not the same.

[Grant_Norman]

I immediately came out to my therapist (and some others recently) as bi and pleased with it. He was very supportive and understands my feelings. Now, looking back on my entire life, I've been bi (not gay...always loved women too) since 7 years-old...I just repressed it from age 14 to 65...other than a couple excursions to cock sucking, I really felt that I needed the "love" of a woman...all I got was heartache from them...at least with guys I get nice loads of cum to swallow. Always have been extremely sexual and MM sex gives that and NOT some phony woman "I love you" crap. 50 years of bad marriages here! Openly bi now and loving it.