Not a *lut

[Sapphocomplex]

Why does being open scream Imoral Slut? I am so hurt with the Idea that because the contents of your pants does not matter to me that im ready to sleep with who ever. I understand people are ignorent and lack tact at times but i cant take it anymore. I live for the Idea of finding that one person to live and die beside, i will touch intimately no one unless i trust and care for them deeply. "I dont like it,but at least i can understand picking one.You like them both and thats just sick greedy!" My Mother.

I am proud that i am blind to all but the soul.
[object Object][object Object]

[anne27]

I am sorry that your mother said that to you. You are among people here who have dealt with that sort of discrimination most of their lives. I don't have many words of wisdom for you, I'll let the wise and glib ones on here send you those, but do try and realize that what YOU think is really all that's important.

Welcome to the board!

[shameless agitator]

I hear ya sappho. Love the name btw. I also just want to find that one person to settle down with, but everybody assumes if you're gay (& in their minds bi is half gay) that you'll sleep with anybody you can. I think it comes from the concept of gay men as promiscuous that we see as a result of men in general being more promiscous than women & gay men therefore having more partners than straight men.

[Sapphocomplex]

Thank you very much, its a great feeling to be understood:).

[biandu]

Ha!

let's see names that i've been called when referring to my sexuality..

[of course i've been called other names not having anything at all to do with my sexuality.. but that's a whole different story! lol]

greedy


confused

slut

ho

whore

you just to like to fuck [uh, duh.. who doesn't?]

in transition

lez waiting to happen

lez fighting the inevitable

scared

sapphophobic [which always cracked me up!]

self-hater

chicken shit

fence sitter

bench warmer [always with... when you're ready to really play let me know!]

masochist-you like the door hitting you on the way in and the way out! [okay that was pretty cool..but still fucked up!]

you just don't know who the fuck you are!

Come be with a real WOMAN or MAN. [somehow supposedly being with that person was supposed to make me change my biology!]

flip-material



well that's all i can think of right now.. anyone else got any?


You know baby-- glad you're here! it's good to know that you are not alone.
And you are not alone.

[smokey]

I AM I AM!!! :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

[biandu]

I AM I AM!!! :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:



yes, but what kind of slut are you?

a cumslut?

a happy one, no doubt! i hear ya!

[smokey]

Hey even sluts have their standards :bigrin:

[wanderingrichard]

it hurts hearing stuf like that from family..especially mom and dad. can't tell ya how, but you got to find a positive way to deal with it.

find a book called "the ethical slut" it may help you come to grips with how to handle others reactions to your sexuality. try the book sections of lovers package and castle's mega store online... better yet would be xandria.com.

only other advice i could give is to be careful as to whom you are open to. watch the way others handle themselves with private information of mutual friends, and judge from there.

being open does not mean being a slut. you obviously don't bed hop on a dialy basis.

here's a wild thot for a pithy retort. if, in the heat of discussion next time someone calls you a slut, tell them you have higher standards than an ordinary street walker, and they obviously don't meet them.. :2cents:

[holybane]

I understand you. I don't tell many people I'm bi and about how I feel about promiscuity because I fear retort such as you've handled. My gf and a few select people know and I think those and those who I involve myself with are the only people who need to know. I commend you braver hearts that come completely out though, I envy you and wish I could do the same. No one is a slut, unless they say they are, like smokey!

[smokey]

[QUOTE= No one is a slut, unless they say they are, like smokey![/QUOTE]

Hey I resemble that remark!

What do I mean by saying that I am a slut? That I like sex?...that I am easy?...that I am a man?...that I am a bisexual man at that?

YEP!!!

I have sex with both men and women, very much more so in the past than present but still.


I am easy...I am a man...and I am a bisexual man at that!

YEP!

But even sluts have their standards....mine are they have to be attractive, healthy, human and horny.

AND I never cheat in a relationship!

BUTT if I am single, don't bend over around me! :bigrin:

[Sapphocomplex]

Haha, you guys a lot of fun. Thanx. :)

[deletetacount123]

My mom doesn't believe in Bisexual.... her quote "There is no such thing as bisexual... your either in love with a woman or a man.... being bisexual is a VERY dangerous game."

She also thinks to be gay, people will KNOW you're gay cause the way you act or do things. She says Im not gay cause "(brothers name) was gay since he was a little boy... the way he did things....."
But I don't think she understands the ones who don't know it till years later when they finally come out.

Oh well..... if anyone knows me, really well... they would know Im a lesbian cause of some of the remarks I make sometimes lol
sometimes I go to far... get a nice private message "you really are gay!!! A Striaght girl would not say that" lol I have made silimar comments in front of my mother in the past but she never took that as a sign I could be gay.
*shakes head*

Tasha

[arana]

My mom doesn't believe in Bisexual.... her quote "There is no such thing as bisexual... your either in love with a woman or a man.... being bisexual is a VERY dangerous game."

She also thinks to be gay, people will KNOW you're gay cause the way you act or do things. She says Im not gay cause "(brothers name) was gay since he was a little boy... the way he did things....."
But I don't think she understands the ones who don't know it till years later when they finally come out.

Oh well..... if anyone knows me, really well... they would know Im a lesbian cause of some of the remarks I make sometimes lol
sometimes I go to far... get a nice private message "you really are gay!!! A Striaght girl would not say that" lol I have made silimar comments in front of my mother in the past but she never took that as a sign I could be gay.
*shakes head*

TashaYour mommy is just very protective of you....and she doesn't want you to be bi or a lesbian. That simple. lol

[deletetacount123]

Your mommy is just very protective of you....and she doesn't want you to be bi or a lesbian. That simple. lol

But but I LIKE GIRLS!!! She can't tell me who I can and can't fall in love cause Love HAPPENS lol

[DiamondDog]

yeah I can be a pig dog at times; but who isn't?
But I posted an image that would describe me. ;)

[Herbwoman39]

OMG!! I just told hubby about the horrible thing your mother said to you. His reply was "Well I guess her mother isn't getting any"!!

I STILL can't believe he SAID that! ROFLMAO!!

On a serious note, I'm so sorry your mother was so mean and hurtful People act out of fear when they don't understand. Just remember you always have us :)

[toastandjam]

Sapph, I feel your pain too. Parents are people you want to think of as loving because (hopefully) that's the role in which you've seen them and cast them your entire life. It always tears me apart when mine use the word "fag" or "nasty" to describe homosexuals. I don't even know if they have a concept of bisexuality, so I don't know (or want to know) what they would think of me...

We're obviously not all sluts. I'm pretty old-fashioned, sexually, and my personal choice is waiting for love before sex (whether with a man or woman). In fact, I was a little bit surprised by the links to MMF porn pages on some parts of this site, lol...which leads me to ask, why are they there? I'm not trying to start a movement to have it removed (I was surpised, but not offended), I'm just wondering... Other social/informational forums that have to do with building an identity and sense of support within a community don't have links to that kind of material. Does that kind of content support the assumptions people hold about bisexuals that we are invariably hypersexual and "greedy"? I know they're not likely to log in and gain satisfaction from having affirmed their beliefs, but is that an unstated message that we're implicitly sending to each other by having links like that here? Please everyone, understand I'm totally into freedom of expression and porn doesn't bother me...I just find it interesting that that stuff is there and wanted to know if there are any other reactions to it.

Anyway, to get back on topic, I HATE the assumption that we are easy and sluts. Orientation does NOT dictate behavior. And being gender indiscriminant does not automatically broaden the pool of options. If anything, people who are attracted to souls over bodies, as someone mentioned previously, are probably very discriminating, as their prospective mates have to meet a higher standard than just "penis" or "vagina".


Thoughts?

-Ms. Toasty

[Sapphocomplex]

oooo ya, thank u toasty! Could not agree more with all you have said.:D

[shameless agitator]

that we are invariably hypersexual and "greedy"

Thoughts?

-Ms. ToastyFits me pretty well lol

[toastandjam]

Lol, more power to you, Shameless. ;)

[mistymockingbird]

Well hell. I've been called a slut or a whore all my life becuase I was always comfortable with my body and with my sexuality. Even in jr high and high school before I really understood all the layers and the fluidity of my sexuality. So, I do what works for me and I let people think what they wanna think. It was not easy for me to get to this place, but here I am. So be it.

However. Its one of my absolute biggest pet peeves when people assume that because you are bi, les, or gay that you are also a slut with no standards. One of the biggest prudes I know is a gay guy. One of the longest, most loving, devoted relationships I've been around was a lesbian couple. I said it in another post, I'll say it again here. Some "people" are promiscuous by nature, orientation has nothing to do with it.

And so what if you are a little "slutty"? As long as you are engaging in behavior that you are comfortable with and not forcing anyone else into doing anything against their will, who the fuck cares anyway? I embrace my inner slut. lol

[Celtiff2106]

First off, I love your name.
Secondly, I do understand where you are coming from. So many people think that you are a slut just because you are bi. They seem to think that because bi people are attracted to both sexes they sleep with both all the time.
Personally I am very traditional as far as sexuality goes. I have only "been" with one person (my husband) and people still make assumptions.
The best coping device that I have come up with is so calmly explain to the person that thier assumptions really offend me.
And if all else fails, I'll punch them. lol (Sometimes I wish!)
Hope I could help!
Celtiff :devil: :female:

[Seeker72]

I have a friend that goes on about Bisexuals and the fact they don't exist, I can't help but smile when he does it.

To be Bi creates many hurdles for yourself sadly and coming out gives you an extra delivery of BS, I myself have not come out and will not any time soon, I have tested the waters and it is a little too cold for my liking.

One issue that would crop up if I were to come out would be the Divorce Lawyers favourite.

Because I'm Bi I had extramarital affairs, (not true) but I noticed when the conversation was bought up cheating was the first thing mentioned, like if I were Bi then it makes sense that I have been cheating.

Very sad.

Portland for being the "Laid back" city can be very ignorant some times.

[smokey]

Embrace your inner slut!!!

Whats the point of being bisexual if you are a prude? :rolleyes:

You don't have to fuck everything that moves...but you should at least consider it.

[Tynary]

I think that my friends think I'm a slut. They imply that I am. here is an example: me: So you like taht 6th former. friend:yeah she's hot. me:so u gonna ask her out. friend:no me:why not. u like her so ask her out. friend: I'm not like you I don't go up to everyone I like I ask to sleep with them.
Thats roughly what he said I can't remember it precisely. My mum thinks I'm far to interested in sex and thinks I'm too young as was too interested in sex when I was younger and it was a bad thing and I should have and should control myself.
I don't think I'm a slut. I've never been with a man and haven't been with a woman in years. I can be very self concious but to be honest deep down I am a bit of a slut. I have high standards though. I love beauty and value it highly. I fear age like the plague. youth and beauty mean more to me than they should. If someone is very attractivethen one might say I have few morals. It really hurts my feelings that my friends might think I'm a slut cas I really want they're respect and love but maybe there right.
What is the definition of a slut? until I know that how can I say if I am or not.

[blue_hard]

Those kinds of names are usually given to us out of envy or jealousy.

[12voltman59]

Anyway, to get back on topic, I HATE the assumption that we are easy and sluts. Orientation does NOT dictate behavior. And being gender indiscriminant does not automatically broaden the pool of options. If anything, people who are attracted to souls over bodies, as someone mentioned previously, are probably very discriminating, as their prospective mates have to meet a higher standard than just "penis" or "vagina".


Thoughts?

-Ms. Toasty


I agree with you Ms Toasty on this part of your post and the rest of it---