Finding a friend to blow .

[Cenotediver]

63 married here in SE Oklahoma, how does one find other bi married men in rural areas . Would be nice to find a friend like me for safe for both of us . Craigslist really isn’t much help . Any ideas would be appreciated

[cbxer66]

Craigslist sucks. As do ManHunt and Adam4Adam. I've done all three. Had a little luck. Just don't like that guys use pictures of themselves when they were in their 20's and they're in their 50s now and don't look anything like the pics they post. Met one guy from this site, he was amazing. I go either way. Sometimes I like to suck. Sometimes I like to be sucked. The last two guys that came to my place wouldn't even take their clothes off. Just wanted to suck me dry and leave. Works for me. LOL!

But where you're at in Oklahoma, I have no idea where it is. I live in Midwest City, near and just slightly east of OKC.

[Cenotediver]

Go east on I-40 almost to Arkansas line then go 70 miles south .
It’s very rural , small town , and country . I’ve only been with two guys . First was my gay married neighbor, married to his man for over 25 years . And a casual hookup in a steamroom on a cruise ship . Don’t want to blow up my life but don’t want to miss out on life . It’s taking me all this time to act .

[bikurinpa]

63 married here in SE Oklahoma, how does one find other bi married men in rural areas . Would be nice to find a friend like me for safe for both of us . Craigslist really isn’t much help . Any ideas would be appreciated
Your best is pure dumb luck in person, hoping a conversation with a friend just happens to lead into it. Online is a joke, I tried all the male sites, CL and the new doublelist, all those are just guys who want to collect pics, and want to chat only when they get horny to get off then they are GONE!

[nu2curious]

It's a matter of just pure chance like what will you roll when you tumble those dice , maybe a deuce or sevens, well who knows ? Online is a complete joke largely used for stealth data collection more than anything else, add that to the voyeuristic inclinations of a majority onlookers and the innocent but well meaning person winds up with zilch .
Chance is all that's left.

[Grant_Norman]

Yes...since the original CL hookups was shutdown, I've found it extremely hard to make online hook-ups. Since I'm leaving my wife in a couple weeks and moving to fairly remote area, I'm going to hang out at pool and just talk to guys...if they seem pretty cool, I'll eventually ask if they want blow job. Hope to get some takers.

[Warmnsalty]

Craigslist was always the best, pre-shutdown. Doublelist has tried to fill the gap but I've found it full of flakes and pic collectors. I'm on Adam4Adam, some luck there, have better luck with Grindr. Good luck.

[cbxer66]

I come and go on Adam4Adam. Had more luck there than ManHunt. But I don't like that a great majority of the guys there use pictures from way back when they were young. Then when they show up, you're like is this the same guy or what? Doesn't look the same. I hate that. If you have to use subterfuge to get lucky, you likely won't. I live in a gated apartment, and have sent several on there way when they didn't look like the pictures they posted on their page. Been there several years and have gotten lucky maybe a handful of times. So many there say they want to do LTRs, but it never happens. So I haven't been back in two years now.

And 20 miles is about as far as I'll drive.

[bikurinpa]

Craigslist was always the best, pre-shutdown. Doublelist has tried to fill the gap but I've found it full of flakes and pic collectors. I'm on Adam4Adam, some luck there, have better luck with Grindr. Good luck.

Same bull chitters on Grindr app adam4adam or any the sites. All same guys with different pics. Got one you got the same guys as all

[redngoldpride]

Being in rural areas can be hard to meet like minded people learning what to watch for in people mannerisms , the way that they move or carry themselves the way that they dress , I was very lucky to meet a very beautiful and quite a sexy trans lady in very rural montana while looking at properties we talked for what ended up hours I invited her to dinner she was very hesitant but I sensed something different of her but she accepted and right off at dinner she was very nervous , so I took a chance and told her that I sensed something about her so she took a chance and told me about herself when I assured her that I was very , very intrigued by her to say that she was happy that instead of being turned off or angry would be an understatement , none of her neighbors knew of her secret , I treated her like the lady that she is and we had so much fun dinner , dancing , drinks and still have a great loving relationship to this day ........ In rural areas remember discretion , discretion , discretion

[playful808]

A4A rocks for NSA, but to make an actual friend? My last several guys from adam4adam really were unfortunate.
The very big guy turned out to be a recovering alcoholic, narcotics issues, anger issues, history of violence, jail, living in a men’s halfway house. No.
Two weeks before, the cute young guy turned out to have a serious personality disorder, debilitating depression, anxiety, ADD, OCD, and on the autism spectrum. No.
Before that, the deeply closeted asian guy who would not meet in public. Said he had never been tested for STDs. Ever. No.

And this is just what they told me.

A4A is a crap shoot.

[biwmtrucker44]

Try fetlife.com look for like minded friends and groups in or near your area.

[Neonaught]

I have been exploring bisexualplayground.com lately too.

[Fred_Brice]

I truly, can understand how hard it can be meeting others, in "Rural or Small Towns Areas"! As for myself, I having been living in a "Rural or Small Towns Area" for several years now myself and this site, seems to help me a lot. "Rural or Small Towns Areas" it can be hard to meet, like minded people. I have found that many folks, living here, do watch visitors mannerisms, the way that they move or carry themselves the way that they dress. Understanding that this in my home and where I live so, I do need to apply some discretion when I invite a new friend over to meet in person. I do remind that person, that this is my home and where I live and the need to understand that discretion is a must.

I do enjoy, being a member of this site and when I read, a Forum Posting, from this site, that in am interested in, I often check that person location, to see where they are located and often I will try to get a conservation going to see, how interested they are about the current subject and often I will ask to become friends, if I like their responds, about the subject and if we become friends, and they must respect me and to apply some discretion when meeting up! It not that I am hiding, the fact that I am Bisexual, it is more about what we may do behind close doors is our business, not out Community!

I have been lucky, to meet-up with several, new friends, from this site and I have found that most, do respect the fact, that this is my home and understand that sometimes, living in "Rural or Small Towns Areas" requires some amount of DISCRETION!

[bikurinpa]

Has any one on this ever had a regular friend that you was able to figure out and find out he may had same desires and just by pure dumb luck a conversation led to finding out? I had only 1 and I think chances of that happening are far greater then finding any one online.

[Tag200]

I don’t think I would have the guts or take the risk with someone I know honestly . I have never been good at knowing if women like me so even less likely I would know with a guy he was Down

[bikurinpa]

I don’t think I would have the guts or take the risk with someone I know honestly . I have never been good at knowing if women like me so even less likely I would know with a guy he was Down
That is why i say it would have to be pure dumb luck a conversation went that way! I feel chances are far better of that happening then finding someone decent online.

[Cuddybear47]

I am from Oklahoma. Know what u mean. I’m married (she doesn’t know). I haven’t done anything just curious but sure want to.

[twilde1952]

Having a friend to blow would be ideal. Mature attached clean non-smoking casual NSA perfect...

[KDaddy23]

Okay, my four cents worth on this topic. Friendships have to be cultivated and it can take some time to establish a friendship and get it to the level where even talking about this with a newly-acquired friend is even possible. It has always been easier to hook up with some guy than it is to take the time and make the effort to establish and cultivate a friendship to the point where things get... personal. The first and biggest hurdle to this is being able to find someone to establish a friendship with and if one isn't "really trying" to find such a friend, well, that's a problem isn't it? Existing friends? Potentially a major problem because you can find out that the guy you've known for years and the guy you know a whole lot about is "that guy" who is totally against such behaviors between men - and no matter if, generally speaking, they've not had anything really bad to say about things M2M... until the focus is upon them as a potential partner.

Shit gets seriously different then and risks the loss a long time friendship - and that really sucks and no pun intended. The thing I find myself asking guys looking for that friend is what are you doing to find such a friend? There are the apps and all that and, sure, one could find such a friend... if one is also willing to wade through all the bullshit, flakes, posers, and horribly pushy guys in order to find that kind of friend. And if the apps are such a pain in the ass - and they are - what other things are you doing to find that kind of a friend? I'm not trying to rain on anyone's parade but I am the guy who will point out that if you're not doing anything to find the kind of friend you're looking for, you're not gonna find him; if you're not "getting yourself out there" in some way, you will not be found. If you've got a thing against casual hookups, you really don't know if a guy you might hook up with can turn into that FWB you've been looking for.

It's not easy. It's never been easy. But if you're unwilling - and maybe even unable - to put in the work toward this most worthy and desired goal, well, that's a problem... and what are you gonna do - what can you do - to solve it? I've told both men and women who are looking for "that friend" that maybe they should look at the way they're going about this and that it's very possible that you've set the bar so high for such a potential friend that no one you might encounter will be able to reach it. Yeah, yeah - don't start with the preferences things but I am gonna tell you that if you can't find that kind of friend, your preferences might be the reason why you can't... and won't. I've probably said some shit that some of you ain't gonna like but I'm not the kind of guy who dumps a lot sugar on things like this; I'm not of a mind to blow smoke up your ass or be PC about it. If you're not doing all you can do to find that kind of friend, you're not gonna find him and no one will be able to find you.

Period. Those of us in a relationship with a woman? Yeah, I get it and I really do. Most fucked up situation for any bisexual to be in. Finding that friend just isn't worth the risk of trashing the relationship. But, on the real, if it's something you really want to do, you will always find a way to do it and it comes back to what are you willing to do? These things rarely "just happen." You gotta get yourself out there and by that I don't mean outing yourself - you just gotta be in places to see and be seen because you just don't know that the next guy you meet - and sometimes purely by chance - could be that guy and unless you're willing to cultivate a new friendship to the point where having this kind of conversation can happen, well, guess what ain't gonna happen for you.

I've probably pissed some guys off with this and it's not my intent to piss anyone off. I'm just being real about this because it's something that I had to learn even though I've been at this for decades. If you do nothing, you get nothing. But if you want it, find a way to get it and know that it was never an easy thing to do. If you don't try, you will never fail... and if you don't fail, you'll never learn what it's gonna take to succeed. And finally, a life lived in fear isn't worth living. Do what you gotta do.

[Silvano1249]

I am straight but have been craving giving head and swallow it all and do not know a person that I can trust...just want a cock in my mouth and elsewhere if ok with you...let me know

[CurEUs_Male]

I am straight but have been craving giving head
doesn't quite sound straight to me....

[Rvdude05]

Simply ask a friend if he jerks off, and let him know you still do. Tell him you want to jerk off with him, or better yet, ask to jerk him off. Once you start, just slip it into your mouth... he won't stop you....

[tongueteaser]

Simply ask a friend if he jerks off, and let him know you still do. Tell him you want to jerk off with him, or better yet, ask to jerk him off. Once you start, just slip it into your mouth... he won't stop you....

I would not have the balls to do that to a friend where I live. They would not accept it and tell everyone. Maybe if I go to a club or bar in another neighborhood and see whats up and try that. Like to find something steady to suck

[nu2curious]

I can understand this problem as I too live in rural area where it's extremely difficult to find like minded guys. As everyone has said we know they're around it's a great leap however find a suitable person for playing.

[tryinbi]

Okay, my four cents worth on this topic. Friendships have to be cultivated and it can take some time to establish a friendship and get it to the level where even talking about this with a newly-acquired friend is even possible. It has always been easier to hook up with some guy than it is to take the time and make the effort to establish and cultivate a friendship to the point where things get... personal. The first and biggest hurdle to this is being able to find someone to establish a friendship with and if one isn't "really trying" to find such a friend, well, that's a problem isn't it? Existing friends? Potentially a major problem because you can find out that the guy you've known for years and the guy you know a whole lot about is "that guy" who is totally against such behaviors between men - and no matter if, generally speaking, they've not had anything really bad to say about things M2M... until the focus is upon them as a potential partner.

Shit gets seriously different then and risks the loss a long time friendship - and that really sucks and no pun intended. The thing I find myself asking guys looking for that friend is what are you doing to find such a friend? There are the apps and all that and, sure, one could find such a friend... if one is also willing to wade through all the bullshit, flakes, posers, and horribly pushy guys in order to find that kind of friend. And if the apps are such a pain in the ass - and they are - what other things are you doing to find that kind of a friend? I'm not trying to rain on anyone's parade but I am the guy who will point out that if you're not doing anything to find the kind of friend you're looking for, you're not gonna find him; if you're not "getting yourself out there" in some way, you will not be found. If you've got a thing against casual hookups, you really don't know if a guy you might hook up with can turn into that FWB you've been looking for.

It's not easy. It's never been easy. But if you're unwilling - and maybe even unable - to put in the work toward this most worthy and desired goal, well, that's a problem... and what are you gonna do - what can you do - to solve it? I've told both men and women who are looking for "that friend" that maybe they should look at the way they're going about this and that it's very possible that you've set the bar so high for such a potential friend that no one you might encounter will be able to reach it. Yeah, yeah - don't start with the preferences things but I am gonna tell you that if you can't find that kind of friend, your preferences might be the reason why you can't... and won't. I've probably said some shit that some of you ain't gonna like but I'm not the kind of guy who dumps a lot sugar on things like this; I'm not of a mind to blow smoke up your ass or be PC about it. If you're not doing all you can do to find that kind of friend, you're not gonna find him and no one will be able to find you.

Period. Those of us in a relationship with a woman? Yeah, I get it and I really do. Most fucked up situation for any bisexual to be in. Finding that friend just isn't worth the risk of trashing the relationship. But, on the real, if it's something you really want to do, you will always find a way to do it and it comes back to what are you willing to do? These things rarely "just happen." You gotta get yourself out there and by that I don't mean outing yourself - you just gotta be in places to see and be seen because you just don't know that the next guy you meet - and sometimes purely by chance - could be that guy and unless you're willing to cultivate a new friendship to the point where having this kind of conversation can happen, well, guess what ain't gonna happen for you.

I've probably pissed some guys off with this and it's not my intent to piss anyone off. I'm just being real about this because it's something that I had to learn even though I've been at this for decades. If you do nothing, you get nothing. But if you want it, find a way to get it and know that it was never an easy thing to do. If you don't try, you will never fail... and if you don't fail, you'll never learn what it's gonna take to succeed. And finally, a life lived in fear isn't worth living. Do what you gotta do.

So I'm curious what is your technique? What do you look for when you're out in public? You seem to have great luck, I could use some pointers lol, I think a lot of us could use some pointers.

[tryinbi]

Bumpin this back to the top hopin KDaddy23 sees it this time lol

[jem_is_bi]

I now have a male partner for more than 15 years.
However, when I meet him the first time He and I were just looking for a fun time.
I responded to his ad, he responded that he wanted sex with me.
We did that the next day and then friendship and more developed as the years added up.

So, I suggest just looking for meet-ups with other guys that are nice people.
Do not eliminate guys because are not what you consider perfect. Just settle for nice.
Eventually you will find someone that you really really like even though they are not what you now consider perfect.

[Jozyxt]

Do not eliminate guys because are not what you consider perfect. Just settle for nice.

I have run into guys that just want to play out their particular scenario fetish and want me to be sexual prop. That is OK but when that is all there is, it eliminates they kind of reciprocity required for friendship.

[jem_is_bi]

I have run into guys that just want to play out their particular scenario fetish and want me to be sexual prop. That is OK but when that is all there is, it eliminates they kind of reciprocity required for friendship.

True, But, there are other nice guys with more to offer that you will eventually meet.

[averagejoe33]

Shit man, I can't find anyone in the 5th largest city in America