njfresh
Oct 31, 2019, 4:54 AM
Just saw this episode. Here's the corresponding article.
https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/9kpjk7/why-its-hard-for-men-to-come-out-as-bi
Long Duck Dong
Oct 31, 2019, 6:45 AM
Interesting article tho much of what is said, is just the same recycled excuses over and over again....... ( and you will have to excuse the way I write, its cos of a mental illness so I am writting as if I am talking with a person, rather than writting a novel )
why are two women kissing more desirable than two males ? 1) its the energy they give off, imagine two early twenties ladies slim and attractive, kissing on the dance floor, then imagine 2x 50 year old mature ladies doing the same ..... now imagine two early twenties males with ripped bodies kissing on the dance floor... and then two 50 year old males doing it...? the reaction is going to differ from person to person.....2) bisexual people tend to be more open to sexual encounters than non bisexuals but if we can be fussy about who we have sex with, why are other people not allowed to.....
a big part of the issue is that we keep reinforcing the idea of toxic masculinity, bi phobic, conditioned upbringing rather than focusing on a persons own journey to understand themselves and to open up and experiment to find their sexual niche.... most people are not looking for a backdown of why they are struggling on their journey, they are looking for support and help to move further along their path...its something I experienced myself, as a teenager I was aware of my feelings and desires but late teens before I even heard the term bisexual, so I was able to explore better and understand myself better, but as soon as I joined a LGBT group, wham, hit right in the face with the rulebook on how I should feel, think, understand and who to blame for aspects of my life......now I am 49, I am in a companionship with a older male and two ladies, all of whom experienced the same thing, the rule book and the instructions on who to attack and blame etc.... and yes we have talked about our personal journeys, but we talk openly, rather than attack and slam our christian families for their stance we see it more as their own struggle with their own beliefs and their need to be in control of things so they do not have to deal with the things they struggle with.....
For myself, and I can not speak for others, tho others in the site have seen it.... the whole if you are not out, its cos you have internalised biphobia, if you disagree with somebody, you are biphobic, if you do not support cheating, you are standing against other bi people and denying them the support they need cos they are forced to cheat cos of their non bisexual partner that wants a monogamous relationship and may not want to have sex...... so no its not just the outside world that is negative and judgemental, it happens inside the LGBT community as well... wham, right in the kisser with the rulebook on being a proper bisexual......
now for the record, I am not denying things like toxic masculinity or biphobic... I am just not focusing on them, the more important questions are how can we help? what are your concerns, is there any way to help, ok, you are scared of how others will react, where can you meet other like minded people, can not really be answered with oh your friends and family are biphobic or you will not be happy unless you are having sex 3-4 times a week with multiple partners.....
another thing to consider is bi people are frowned upon by gay and lesbian people ? shit happens... I know a gay guy that would throw up at the sight of a naked woman with her legs open, he refuses to believe that other guys could enjoy that so bisexual guys are clearly twisted thinkers that would just fuck anything, when they can not find a gay guy to fuck.....so whats the issue ????? he can not relate to or understand how bisexuality works ? not can a lot of people including people struggling with their own sexuality, but do people like that gay guy really have to accept us? is his opinion really that much of a big deal or do we have an overwhelming need to force him to change his mind cos our happiness is more important than his right not to see things the way we do.......
yes I am a person that is open minded about others opinions, their right to not always agree with me or see things the way I do... but I want the same right to not always agree with other people and see things the way they do either, the more important thing is how would I react if I saw them getting beaten up, would I say screw them, they have an attitude problem and an opinion I do not like or would I say, shit, and jump in to back them up ????
What bi males face when they come up, is not as important as how much support we give them when they come out... but if we insist on only focusing on the negative when they come out, they have more reason to fear coming out so are we really helping them by going on about homophobia and toxic masculinity ? would it be better to say, ok, you wanna talk, lets talk ....