Finding guys. Offline.

[playful808]

A different thread discussed being burned out meeting guys online.
For many of us, the online experience has become disappointing and discouraging.

I am seeking Suggestions for other ways to meet decent guys. Offline.
I don’t just mean gay bars or adult book stores.

Some venues and activities and attitudes seem to attract people who are more sexually open and open-minded.

I have had good luck meeting guys in these circles:
counter-culture / hippies, Polyamory groups, Tantra classes,
college students, theater groups, cuddle parties, nudist groups,
musicians, pot-smokers, etc.

Where have YOU had good luck meeting sexually open guys, offline?
What circles or activities or attitudes have been good luck for you?

[Tight1-4u]

I have found an array of guys at the public rec centers.. usually in the sauna area.. mornings seem to be best.. most older guys but still looking.. just watch the signals they send.. and look for places that guys that are like minded gather.. ie. Swimming spots and such..

[csreef]

You may want to try Art Galleries, and Museums.

The best way ( and I'm saying the for the umpteenth time) to find someone, is not to look for them.

[bikurinpa]

I too have tried all the websites, adam, squirt, silverdaddies AFF, phone apps too and same results, most guys just get on to chat when they horny to get off and then after they claim to be serious, they ghost out within a few email exchanges or if ur lucky maybe a week or two then GONE. I dont drink and am not a bar person nor go to gay places which would be totally OUT type guys. I dont know if a YMCA that has the hot tub or even a pool would be a good place and for someone like me who is too dumb to read signs or vibes they would hint off, how to find them out!. Hope this thread give me some ideas and clues.
I am looking for someone who wants more then just a random hook up, want someone who we can establish a friendship and do things together as friends too.

[Coastocoast]

The problem here is there are plenty of places to find guys if you are into the who STI / AIDS scene. Plenty of guy where you could walk in and leave with more than you came in with in minutes IF that is what you are looking for. I am after something a bit less hit and run and it is rough to find. I would love to duplicate the ongoing one on one situation I had several years back, it has not happened again since he moved.

[bikurinpa]

The problem here is there are plenty of places to find guys if you are into the who STI / AIDS scene. Plenty of guy where you could walk in and leave with more than you came in with in minutes IF that is what you are looking for. I am after something a bit less hit and run and it is rough to find. I would love to duplicate the ongoing one on one situation I had several years back, it has not happened again since he moved.
That is the point I was making in my response, wanting guys who are discreet and wanting the same as I am, but seems to always be impossible to find. I am not into the blo n goes or hit and runs for they are just way too risky doe STDs

[bibliss]

Yoga, meditation, art and writing circles, hiking groups...any setting where people might be more inclined toward personal growth, which tends to be about opening the heart... probably not bowling, although you never know :oh:

[hung4you]

Guys it’s not that hard to find like minded men who play discreetly. When I travel and in my Hotel, I have found a treasure trove of like minded men who secretly are bi. Problem is most guys are shy and reluctant to seek out their desires, the barriers that confine us is lack of communication, and the lack of recognizing body language, yes reading ones body language is my ticket to my many encounters.
I have met guys in the work out centers, Hotel bars and just striking up a conversation is all that you need to do. Making suggestive comments to bring out the shyness and in as little as 2 hours we are 69 ing. Most are just oral interactions but once in awhile I get to experience a hard cock pounding my ass. Just be friendly and learn the art of talking and you will find there are many of us out there, they are not going to be advertising you must seek them out .

[Tight1-4u]

When I said read the signals it is pretty easy to read.. go to the sauna walk in and remove your towel be nakedthey will be checking you out.. find a place to sit and relax.. make eye contact.. you will get a sense of who is interested.. if they adjust their cock and your interested do the same.. mimicking their move.. watch to see if he sends another.. chat be open to chat.. relax and go with the flow..

[Coastocoast]

Adult bookstores, gay bars and bathhouses are great places to bug hunt but what if you are not into the whole HIV/HPV/Herpes thing?

[KDaddy23]

You can run into guys almost anywhere if your online hunts are leaving something to be desired. Last guy I got with? Met him in the parking lot while looking for something in my car.

[69luvr]

I have found guys in a regular non-porn movie theater- early afternoon showings. I have had much luck at malls too in the lunch areas.

[jem_is_bi]

Yoga, meditation, art and writing circles, hiking groups...any setting where people might be more inclined toward personal growth, which tends to be about opening the heart... probably not bowling, although you never know :oh:
Why not guys that love bowling? You just have to convince them they would love bowling better if they moved the L to the left 2 letters so that it was between the b and the o. How hard can that be?

[KDaddy23]

@Bibliss - I met the guy I fell in love with thanks to bowling, so, yeah, that can work, too!

[NjbiGuy01]

I met some guys in spas while on vacation and in hot tubs on cruise ships. I was totally nude laying on a bench in a steam room in Mexico and felt someone was in my space. I opened my eyes to see a guy slowly stroking while looking at my cock which was mildly aroused... we chatted for awhile and made plans to meet. My wife and kids went on an excursion and so did his, so we met at his room and played for awhile..that was nice, but a rare occurrence. I used to go to a local male party some guy hosted at his townhouse in the area. Guys hanging out semi nude or nude and playing, watching, drinking and just being guys...nice opportunity, many married, but the parties ended. There is a "slip away and play" party in northern NJ a few times a month. $35.00 gets you in, darkly lit room, condoms, lube and soda and snacks, which I'm tempted to attend, although I am concerned about discretion and/or seeing someone I might know...

Only a few times did a guy strike up a conversation "in real life" that headed towards potentially playing. It can be difficult. I've sensed some guys I've met were bi or subtly coming on to me, but the awkwardness and potential for embarrassment if it's just someone being social and not being gay or bi is always there. One dude put a make on me at a bar, but my band was playing there and too many people around to discretely engage him or take it further...tempting. We play there again soon and I'm hoping he shows :)

I agree A4A and AFF and related are spotty at best. Like the whole internet, Craigs, Doublelist, it's annoying. Dead end discussions, one and done, and fucking weirdo's...One guy wanted me to come over and play bareback. ME: "How long since you played last and were tested ?". HIM:"Oh, I had two married bi guys here last night fucking me for hours ! and I was tested last month"...Um, no thanks.

One dude I've literally been going back and forth with now almost two months. He lives in my damn town, works very close neighboring town and yet can never seem to find time for a simple cup of coffee or a drink... I have suggested places, days and times. He doesn't want "a stranger" coming to his house (which I totally get), so we talked about grabbing coffee or a beer first with no expectations. I'm glad I didn't have expectations as nothing happened...sigh.

[bikurinpa]

I met some guys in spas while on vacation and in hot tubs on cruise ships. I was totally nude laying on a bench in a steam room in Mexico and felt someone was in my space. I opened my eyes to see a guy slowly stroking while looking at my cock which was mildly aroused... we chatted for awhile and made plans to meet. My wife and kids went on an excursion and so did his, so we met at his room and played for awhile..that was nice, but a rare occurrence. I used to go to a local male party some guy hosted at his townhouse in the area. Guys hanging out semi nude or nude and playing, watching, drinking and just being guys...nice opportunity, many married, but the parties ended. There is a "slip away and play" party in northern NJ a few times a month. $35.00 gets you in, darkly lit room, condoms, lube and soda and snacks, which I'm tempted to attend, although I am concerned about discretion and/or seeing someone I might know...

Only a few times did a guy strike up a conversation "in real life" that headed towards potentially playing. It can be difficult. I've sensed some guys I've met were bi or subtly coming on to me, but the awkwardness and potential for embarrassment if it's just someone being social and not being gay or bi is always there. One dude put a make on me at a bar, but my band was playing there and too many people around to discretely engage him or take it further...tempting. We play there again soon and I'm hoping he shows :)

I agree A4A and AFF and related are spotty at best. Like the whole internet, Craigs, Doublelist, it's annoying. Dead end discussions, one and done, and fucking weirdo's...One guy wanted me to come over and play bareback. ME: "How long since you played last and were tested ?". HIM:"Oh, I had two married bi guys here last night fucking me for hours ! and I was tested last month"...Um, no thanks.

One dude I've literally been going back and forth with now almost two months. He lives in my damn town, works very close neighboring town and yet can never seem to find time for a simple cup of coffee or a drink... I have suggested places, days and times. He doesn't want "a stranger" coming to his house (which I totally get), so we talked about grabbing coffee or a beer first with no expectations. I'm glad I didn't have expectations as nothing happened...sigh.
Yes, I feel ur best chances is in real life by pure dumb luck a conversation just leads into something. My experience with online, 99.99% will claim to be serious and then most the time within 1 day of chatting they become Casper the Ghost! GONE.

[Coastocoast]

"One guy wanted me to come over and play bareback. "

OK if that guy wants to play bareback with you after just meeting you, he is doing that regularly and things are inevitably not going to have a great ending. Not into getting a bug let alone passing it to someone in my household. Not good.

[SoaringSpirit]

Understand exactly what you mean & it's fact...